BDSM Financial Domination: A How To

Portrait abaout a beatiful woman who showing money

Financial Domination is one of the most popular and controversial forms of BDSM currently trending. Many are dubious of the legitimacy of this form of domination while some of the most popular BDSM news stories center around women raking in the cash with these techniques. One point that cannot be denied is that many people enjoy this form of consensual, financial domination. Our contributor Jezebel Sinclair is here to offer clarity and tips on how to get started. -anniebear

The Complete Beginner’s Guide To Financial Domination
I’m no novice to the world of financial domination. I’ve been around since 2009 and have had my fair share of mishaps, errors, embarrassments and so forth in the industry since everything I did was trial and error and I never had anyone to guide me or mentor me upon entering the scene. Nobody is perfect but there’re always a few key factors that can help you steer clear of making the classic mistakes that most Dommes make upon making the choice to dive head first into financial domination. I decided to write this because one peek into my fetlife & email inbox will reveal an astounding number of messages from fellow Dommes who ask for advice. I had written a short blog in the past to help new Dommes which I even pinned as a page on my website for females navigating my site who need help and want tips but it wasn’t as thorough as I thought it would be and I still get questions every day so without further adieu, I’m going to get right to it and answer questions that up and coming ladies ask me often.

How do I get a slave?
The answer to this varies from person to person. It really comes down to your own personality and what you are/aren’t willing to deal with. Some subs require LOADS of time and if you’re looking for a quick buck without spending any time with the sub in question, you’re probably going to have a really hard time finding someone. Honesty goes a long way in this fetish and being up front about your abilities and experience is key simply because if you lie about your experience and then have a session with an experienced sub, he will notice. To get a long term sub you have to build a rapport with the sub in question and learn about each other. Remember that long term D/s relationships are exactly what they sound like – a relationship. Just because money is involved does not mean that it should be meaningless.

How do I make myself approachable/desirable?
This one is completely up to you. Different strokes for different folks. Everyone has different tastes when it comes to attitude and looks. To be successful you have to come to terms with the fact that you will not be desirable to everyone and that’s okay. The best thing I can suggest is to be yourself, be honest and fill out your profiles/websites. A well written profile with good content (photos, writing) is possibly the BEST thing you can do to help market yourself. Fill out every last information block, you never know when a sub will want to approach you simply because they think you have an amazing music taste or they like your vanilla activities. Remember that your profile or website is literally the only thing a sub has to go on to form an opinion on you and in this fetish first opinions mean everything. The way you present yourself is ultimately going to be what subs think of you. If you come across as someone who doesn’t care about their profile, has awful quality photos, only makes posts complaining, etc – subs will not associate you with class and elegance which is ultimately what I believe most Goddesses strive for.

This leads me to another thing, if all you do is post negatively, people will have a negative perception of you and will run for the hills if you approach them. Avoid posting about timewasters or sob stories etc – subs HATE it and so do most experienced Dommes. It stands out like a sore thumb to most experienced subs and they will steer very clear of anyone complaining.

How can I market myself?
Marketing is an extremely important factor in getting noticed in this world. There are thousands of Dommes both experienced and novice all striving for the same thing and in a niche where money is the key factor, the industry is absolutely cutthroat. When I joined the scene, I refused to get a twitter for two years and boy was that a mistake. Twitter is one of the best free marketing tools a Domme can use. Well executed tweets about both your kink AND vanilla life can reel subs in and get you loyal followers and lots of money. Hashtags are good to use in tweets but don’t overdo them – also, don’t forget to use hashtags directly in your tweet instead of after your main sentence. Everyone has their own definition of a good tweet but I’ll include an example of what I consider a good and bad ”marketing” tweet below:
Good tweet:
good tweet

Bad Tweet:
bad tweet

The difference in the quality of those tweets is quite noticeable (and yes the second one was tweeted only for the purpose of screenshotting lol). You have to set yourself and everything you do to certain standards. If your standards are low quality, that will be the type of subs you attract. Every wonder why the “big names” in the industry always have loyal servants? That’s because they are marketing masterminds and put a lot of time and effort into what they do.

Do subs really care about good photos & graphics?
Short answer – yes for the most part. I know it’s tempting to post a cell phone selfie or a webcam snap quickly and get it over with but a light bit of editing on any photo can really make the difference between low tier and good photo. Always run your photos through a simple editor and fix any lighting problems, graininess, red eye etc. It’s a fairly simple rule to have. Quality over quantity is key. I personally feel that subs will appreciate one good photo with good lighting and a good pose over 10 photos with awful lighting and the same pose slightly altered. Filters are great tools too but don’t overdo them, as with everything, balance is key. Find the balance to create what you think is an awesome quality photo and hold yourself to those standards every time.
As for graphics, I’m aware that there’s plenty of people who don’t know how to use photoshop or can’t afford to pay someone to create graphics. That’s not an excuse – if you want a quality website with quality graphics, instead of bashing the Dommes who have them out of jealousy, LEARN. Teach yourself to create these things and it will truly help you as far as marketing goes.

Can I still appeal to subs without too many photos or graphics?
Yes, ultimately it comes down to your expertise as a Dominant and the attitude you have. The things I’ve stated in the last couple answers to questions are all really filler. Many subs look for those things straight off the bat and if you want to appeal to as many subs as possible, marketing and tons of content is definitely the way to go but you don’t have to have all those things to still be successful. There’s subs who can look past the lack of fancy graphics or loads of content and still see the Goddess for who she is – granted, in all honesty those subs are far fewer among the crowds but they ARE there. It goes without saying that you should STILL have a thorough profile to attract subs, if you only have a paragraph in your about me, you’re only going to attract low quality subs.

How do I come up with content?
How do painters create paintings? How do writers create stories? This is a pretty self explanatory question. You have to come up with content on your own out of your own imagination. Nobody will hold your hand and create your content for you. A good place to start is with the standard industry content ideas ex: foot photos, videos, some findom games, etc. When it comes to tasks, it gets trickier. Creating original tasks is actually a pretty big challenge. Brainstorming is great though. What I do is I have a notepad document open all day 24/7. If I have a sudden idea for a task, game or clip I INSTANTLY write it down and save the document just in case my computer were to crash. At the end of the week I have hundreds (I’m not kidding) of ideas on the notepad document and I choose one or two to carry out and elaborate on for a task or clip etc. From there on, the document only gets larger and larger. That’s the way I do it but everyone has their own creative ideas. Your best bet is to give yourself a weekly goal and stick to it.

I want to mimmick/copy a Domme I look up to.
Stop right there. Stop before you even think about doing it again. If you decide to copy someone chances are they WILL notice. It doesn’t matter if you change a word or two every other sentence. People who put time and care into their sites and profiles probably remember every word they’ve written and will spot a plagiarizer before you even realize they know. Stealing content is a HUGE issue in the scene and I’ve been in the scene long enough to unfortunately say that I’ve witnessed it far too many times. If you decide to steal graphics from someone or plagiarize their hard work it will be seen as a HUGE black mark on your career as a professional if that’s what you’re ultimately going for. Just don’t do it. If you decide you still want to do it, expect DMCA takedowns and public ridicule and know that everyone will agree that you deserve it. Originality is a necessity in this fetish and industry – if it’s something you lack, you are probably better suited doing something else with your time.

An owned sub messaged me, what do I do?
Ignore them. It doesn’t matter if they are offering you over $9000! Just ignore the sub and be respectful to what is someone else’s property. If the sub is slutting around, that’s entirely on him – don’t enable him. Something I personally do is message the owner if I know who she is. Respectfully let the owner know what is going on because they deserve to know that their sub is not being respectful to them. Screenshots and a respectful message letting the Domme know go a long way and will show the Domme that you are trustworthy and have excellent integrity.

Why do all my subs fail me?
The answer to this can be many things – some of which can be YOUR fault. Are you instantly collaring subs who want to be owned? Are you even putting them through a consideration period? Consideration periods vary by Domme to Domme but I find that just as it would be in an intimate relationship, time itself ultimately shows you who you are dealing with. You can’t figure out who someone truly is by having them send you a $100 giftcard every week for 4 weeks. The consideration period is EXTREMELY important for anyone wanting to have a long term D/s relationship and by standard practice, subs can be in a consideration period from anywhere from 6 months to YEARS. The best analogy I can think of is of a romantic relationship – think of the consideration period as the time you’re dating the person before you both agree that it’s time to get married. That’s how I think of it and it works very well for me.If you’re properly going through the consideration/collaring process and your subs are still failing you, maybe you have unrealistic expectations of them. If a sub made it through consideration, he obviously is a good sub and up to your standards but if he’s failing you after collaring, perhaps you’re being too hard on him which is VERY easy to do in this fetish. Greed is good for the most part but you have to remember that feeding your greed comes at a big expense to your subs wallet and unless your sub is the owner of a fortune 500 company and making millions left and right, you’re probably being TOO greedy. Set out a budget for your sub, micromanage. Set schedules, for payments, for tasks and remember that not EVERYTHING is about money in your D/s relationship and if it is, it probably won’t last.

I see Dommes publicly calling subs losers/worthless, why doesn’t it work when I do it?
That’s probably because they know or own the sub already and it’s something that’s within their dynamic. You have to remember that a lot of things in the industry are smoke and mirrors type things. Maybe the Domme and sub have a mutual understanding to where the sub gets off on public humiliation, likes to be called worthless loser etc but in private it’s completely different. Dommes roleplay with their subs publicly a lot and that’s not a bad thing. Remember if it’s safe sane and consensual there is NO problem with it – just remember that things aren’t always as they seem with people and their public relationships.

Will I look self centered if I post pictures of my tributes?
This fetish is ALL ABOUT self centered hedonists. For fuck’s sake we call ourselves Goddess, Princess, Queen etc. I highly doubt that everyone who calls themselves a Goddess is living up in the sky with omnipotent & omniscient powers. I highly doubt every princess or queen in the scene actually lives in a castle and rules their own kingdom. :p There’s nothing wrong in gloating and showing off the fruits of you and your sub’s effort. Anyone who says otherwise is probably unhappy with the fruits of their efforts and looking to shoot you down. People that are comfortable with themselves and what they do will be happy that other Dommes are being successful and in my personal opinion and experience, subs love to see their gifts posted and they love it even more if you remember who gifted you what. Just remember to do you.

How can I take quality photos/videos?
There’s a formula to good photos and videos that consists of various things.
Lighting is key, bad lighting can make an otherwise great photo AWFUL. If you can, buying a studio lighting kit on amazon is definitely recommended and they’re usually pretty cheap and yield great results. I’ve seen full professional lighting kits on there as low as $80 which I think is pretty within budget for most people. If you’re on a budget, maybe skip the mani/pedi one week and just buy the lighting kit instead.

Setting is another thing that can completely make or break a good photo or video. Nobody wants to see a photo of you looking beautiful but a dirty mattress without sheets in the background or a complete mess with clothes and trash on the floor etc. I think most of us have been guilty of something that can fit in this category at some point or another, I’m no stranger to this myself. I’ve taken many a photo with my laundry in the background in the past etc. It’s fairly simple, shoot your photos against a professional backdrop set (usually not more than $200 on amazon), against a plain wall, or get a shoji screen panel divider (usually around $150) – trust me it will help the quality of your photo/video settings immensely.

As far as cameras go, most smartphones nowadays have GREAT quality settings. I have the samsung galaxy note 3 and the photos & videos are extremely HD and super good quality. You don’t need to own a fancy camera to yield great results if you have good lighting and background. That being said, in my opinion one should always strive for the best quality they can and if your subs can afford it, I recommend you have them buy you a professional camera. I recently got a Canon t3i with the standard 55 mm lens and was extremely pleased. I also received an additional EF 50mm f/1.8 II lens ($125) which creates depth and awesome focus in videos/photos which I highly recommend to anyone looking for a good lens. It’s a little pricey but definitely worth it.

Is networking & making friends really that important?
100% yes if you plan on ever attempting conventions, doing interviews, being included in projects. In this scene as far as networking goes, you have to give some to take some. Making friends and networking might open certain doors that otherwise may stay firmly shut. This goes for both networking with Dommes AND subs. For example, there’s a few owned subs that have tributed me before they even met their Domme and we decided to remain friends once they were put under consideration/collared. They speak of our friendship to their Domme which in turn, opens doors to someday filming with their Dommes which will appeal to those looking for double Domme experiences and benefit both of us. The possibilities are quite literally endless

How can I network/make friends?
There’s plenty of ways to make friends in the scene people are for the most part very friendly and open to talking. Joining forums and groups and actively participating in them is a great start. Twitter is another great way to make friends. Follow the people who follow you back, reply to people’s tweets. Be active in findom chats a few time a week and you’ll make friends in no time.

That’s all for now but I hope this will help some of the newer Dommes and I’ll be pinning this to the Domme help page on my website! Remember to follow me on twitter @JezebelSinclair.

Jezebel Sinclair is a sadistic Arizona based Latina ProDomme, Femdom film producer, kink connoisseur & wild deviant. A legendary fetish model building an auspicious Femdom empire one slave at a time

Comments

  1. Miss Sinclaire’s insightful piece about the world of Financial Domination is both accurate and instructive – except that it can be filed under “An experienced and responsible Domme explains how to become and experienced and responsible Domme.”

    Miss Sinclaire has, as she states, more than seven years experience. The problem, as I see it, is there are (just look at Twitter) so-called Financial Dommes with a week’s experience attempting to loot novice subs of their money. I have written about this previously in a kinkweekly article entitled “Predator Pro-Dommes.” Pre-Internet, subs had to go to reputable dungeons (like Sanctuary LA today) to find their kinky thrills. Now anybody with a ten dollar whip and a phrase (“On your knees you worthless piece of shit”) can set up shop on the ‘Net.

    I do not want to set myself up as “Captain Save a Sub,” superhero protecting subs from themselves. If a sub wishes to give away ALL his/her money, that is their prerogative. But all subs should realize there is little legal recourse should they find their bank statement suddenly at zero.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3447554/Pornography-boss-left-penniless-legal-battle-dominatrix-girlfriend.html

    Again, Miss Sinclaire — well done. This is an essential article for both Dommes and subs to read.
    Maybe you could expand on situations you have seen that could help newbie subs better navigate the dangerous world of Financial Domination.

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