Big/little Dynamics


The Big/little dynamic involves one partner (the D type) taking on the parental role, and the s type taking on the role of someone younger than they actually are (the little). Littles have a wide age range (infant-adolescent). It is also possible for a little to change ages within a dynamic or from partner to partner. These dynamics can be polyamorous or monogamous, and can involve any gender or sexual orientation as well.
There are many different labels for Big/little dynamics. A couple of the most known are Daddy Dom/little girl (DD/lg) and Daddy Dom/ babygirl (DD/bg). However, you can totally be a female D type in this kind of dynamic (the female D type would usually be called some rendition of Mommy). It is also completely possible to have a Mommy/little girl dynamic and/or a Daddy/ little boy dynamic. As one can see, D types that engage in this kind of power exchange usually have some type of parental name attached to their title.
Many people think that Big/little dynamics are solely about ageplay. I am writing this article to show readers that while ageplay is often a component of these types of relational dynamics, it doesn’t have to be.

On a further note, not all ageplayers are submissives or littles either. Ageplay is a form of roleplay where individuals act as if they are a different age than they actually are. They
could be acting older or younger. Littles that ageplay will often take on the role of their little persona through clothes, speech, activities, mannerisms etc. Despite ageplay often being coupled with Big/little power exchange, the Big/little dynamic can survive very well
without any sort of ageplay.

Non-ageplayers in this kind of dynamic still have a clear parental role (the D type) and a clear little role (the s type). They are heavily based on TLC, nurturing, and guidance. Protocols and rituals may echo these core values of the dynamic as well.
Non-age playing littles may also engage in “child-like” activities such as coloring or playing games, but would still act as if they are the age they actually are. They would appear like an adult engaging in child-like activities. Whereas an ageplaying little would look like an adult acting like a child engaging in child-like activities.

In all Big/little dynamics, the s type may look up to the D type as a role model and/or guiding force in their life. The D type may take an active role (much like a parent) in helping to relieve their little’s stress and help them through daily obstacles.
Furthermore, in both types of this kind of dynamic, the D type is taking on the role of the nurturer and seeing through the eyes of a parent, so to speak, and the s type is feeding the inner child, and receiving a lot of love and support.

It just comes down to what is the best way for those in the dynamic to accomplish these things. Does age play work better or does non-ageplay?
I also want to make it clear that one can totally have a Big/little dynamic 24/7 where they sometimes engage in ageplay and other times they don’t. It is also possible to have an age-playing dynamic 24/7 as well as a non-ageplaying dynamic 24/7. However, if one wants to engage in ageplay, I think a more realistic approach would be to ageplay when appropriate and have a non-ageplaying dynamic the rest of the time (if you are in a Big/little dynamic 24/7).
There might be times when your s type may have to or want to act their age such as at work, around family, etc. But to each his own. You can ageplay solely during a scene as well, and/or non-ageplay in a scene and/or mix and match the two. The possibilities are endless and you ALWAYS want find what works best for all involved.

I am merely providing a lesser known option on how to formulate a Big/little dynamic. Some people don’t like to roleplay, but still need that TLC of a parental figure or need to take on a parental role or need to release their inner child. Non-ageplay is another way to accomplish these things.

I hope this was helpful to anyone interested in learning more about Big/little relationships. As always feel free to ask questions and leave comments.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned!


  1. dungeondaddy says:

    So awesome! I didn’t know non-ageplaying Big/little dynamics even existed! Thanks so much for sharing! Keep up the great work, Slave Bunny. 🙂

  2. SlaveBunny says:

    Thank you for reading, dungeondaddy! Glad you you were able to learn something from the article!

  3. Sometimes when my partner is going through stressful times I encourage her to go into little mode to better deal with things. I’ve even asked her to talk to her adult self as her little self for certain problems she’s facing

    • Lost_and_found says:

      Olly, I just welled up with tears reading this. Not in a bad way at all.. I think it’s a breakthrough for me. What brought me to this page tonight I can’t exactly say but I’m leaving with a grasp on what I know I should be doing. Thanks for sharing, you might have just changed my life and that of another to be determined later with just two short sentences. Thank you thank you thank you..

  4. blowmymind says:

    That’s some very interesting perspective taking, Olly. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Thanks blowmymind! At first being with someone who goes into little mode took getting used to but now it’s a big part of our every day life

  6. Has anyone ever experienced their little changing ages throughout the dynamic? My little is beginning to exhibit teen tendencies and I am not sure how to handle it. Any advice?

  7. Since I live a Daddy / baby girl D/s dynamic 24/7, a few comments may help.
    For us, age play is usually reserved for ‘dirty talk’ during sex. My baby girl has several ages (9-15) she enjoys wallowing in while in sub-space. All her ‘favorites’ are related to positive child hood sexual experiences. I love sharing them with her, besides the orgasms are far more intense as a result.
    Outside of sex, age play is not active in our dynamic at all. We are both retired, 67 & 55, I’m a strong nurturer, and have always ‘parented’ submissive women. She’s a daughter, mother and grandmother on occasion but a ‘care-free’ child when with me, which is all the time. With few distractions, we are ‘in our dynamic’ all the time which is after all what we want.
    As for teen tendencies. You didn’t mention your reaction? I suggest you both talk about that. Since I’m a,’her needs before my wants’ advocate I enjoy facilitating and exploring with my her. As a Daddy I feel its not my place to show any judgemental or negative attitude towards an emotional need. Also, step back as her Daddy and look at this in the context of the relationship. Deeper trust, more openness, freeing behavior. A progression in the dynamic?
    Being a Daddy dominant in my view requires some understanding of the psychological and emotional issues present in our ‘little’s’ for it to be a successful PE.

  8. Koalachim says:

    I was always.. Interested in this. It’s weird? My friends say. Idk my friends all think its weird and I’m afraid to say I think.. This is.. Nice? I wouldn’t mind it?

    Like any normal young adult, I read a lot of fanfics most very bad some not so bad. But the little big ones always gets me confused. Alot of these people didn’t research and I can’t blame them. It’s not easy. I didn’t find any of my answers. Like– do Littles actually can switch minds in the sense of detachment of adult and child. Can they actually have a “drop” right into little space when in fear or emotional distress? Do you always need to find a big and if so how accepting are people?

    • MissMasquerade says:

      Your friends might think its weird, and I imagine some of mine might think so too if they knew what I was interested in. But the communitites of different kinks are often quite welcoming and informative if you have questions if you find some to ask. I’ve done a bit of solo social exploring into some different things through Instagram. If you have one I’d say thats a decent place to start. You can search by hashtags to find posts that might have some info on what you’re looking for. A couple examples for this dynamic- #ddlg #littles

  9. Daddy's good girl says:

    I am entering a relationship with an experienced dom. It is not a 24/7 thing, but only when we engage in sexual activities. I like to just be us together, but also, please him when the time comes. I have always been fascinated by the idea of being fully controlled, and taken over by another. I have some pretty twisted fantasies, and recently found out about his. We have a very new relationship. Though I have never been with or known someone to share the same “kinks” until I met him. Because he is experienced, and I am not, I am worried I won’t please him. I don’t know if I will mess it up, and I just want to make him happy. His pleasure is my pleasure. But I am not sure what to do when he starts calling me his good girl or daddy’s little girl. Like, it gets me going, and makes me want him more, but it also makes me feel ashamed that it makes me feel so good, and I start being reserved over it. Does anyone have advice for a person like me? I so badly want to be a good girl for daddy.

  10. Babygirl Wright says:

    Hello all. My Daddy and I are a bit different from the majority of the &ddlg relationships publicly available to the community.. I’m a big little. My general mental age is 20, sometimes as low as 15 but I never really go towards the coloring pacifier frilly dress and shoes kind of thing. If anything I act more like and newly released into the wild college freshman whereas my daddy is 40 years old and definitely acts his age even though I’m 45 a little older than him he’s absolutely more mature hahaha and I really honestly 24/7 act 20. He calls me baby girl but for us it’s more a term of endearment then it is an actual age reference it’s been difficult for me to be a part of the ddlg community because I don’t find very much information or fellow girls that are in the big category however the dynamic is still the same. Daddy is definitely still my dom and I am definitely still his sub although I just don’t do the little girl stuff like most do don’t get me wrong I still like My Little Pony and lip gloss and I’ll still like a stuffy here in there but it’s definitely more of a college type thing it would be really nice to find a for him for us big little girls because I feel like there’s a lot more people in the world that would love a ddlg relationship if they didn’t have to go down the road of thinking they needed to wear diapers suck on a pacifier color or talking baby talk. If anyone has any links to forums where fellow Biggs can still enjoy a ddlg discussion that would be amazing.

  11. backseatbaby says:

    heey really appreciate the information here!! I would love to see a very different photo to accompany this article.

  12. Thanks for this post. Interesting.
    I’m a middle with little tendencies at times. 🙂
    I like age play, too.

  13. xPrincess.Lx says:

    Okay, so, I’m new to all of this stuff and this kind of helped but I’m also still confused ‍♀️.
    I want to be a little but can I be a 14/15 year old little? Or would that be too old? How do you even start being a little, do you just do it or is something that needs to be discussed before hand? Honestly, I don’t even know how to start a Dom/Sub relationship. Any tips would be great!!!

    • CantaloupeQT says:

      As a little, you can “be ” anything at all, any age, that you feel most comfortable. I read a comment previous to yours, that was a great example of not being in a “little girl” role, but a “newly released into the wild college freshman”. Some people like incorporating “discipline” onto their kink, some prefer a nuturing “show me the ropes, tell me what to do” dynamic. Have fun exploring, more importantly, communicate with your big/dom.

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