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The Recipe for Imparted Presence

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Hi everyone! I am writing this article to educate readers about one of the most essential things needed (in my opinion) to have a long-term 24/7 power exchange relationship.

A lot of people believe that M/s relationships are about micro-management leading to macro-management. What I mean by this is that at the beginning of a dynamic and/or during training phrases, the slave may have to be more micromanaged, given more direction, told step by step what to do/what is expected of them, the Master may have to check every detail/step to make sure things are done correctly, etc.

There is nothing wrong with this, and if a dynamic wanted to keep being micro-managed that is completely okay (as long as the dynamic is not based on fear or distrust). Please note, power exchange dynamics should never be based on fear or distrust. Power exchange dynamics should promote a sense of safety and trust for all involved, and these two things should flourish as time goes on. If this is not happening, and someone is repeatedly distrusting of their partner, then some changes should be made to remedy these things.

Some s types do not wish to stay micro-managed forever, and some D types do not wish to micromanage long term either. Some D types hope to equip their s types with enough skills, training, knowledge, etc (over time) to carry out their will effortlessly without having to give them specific step by step instructions for every single order or task. I am in NO WAY saying that D types shouldn’t take an active role or check in with their s types. They ALWAYS should. What I am saying is that some D types (after proper training has been done) expect that they can trust their s type to accomplish what they asked and in the manner they want said task done without so much supervision and oversight.

It’s kind of a like a parent who raises a child and as the child grows and proves they are becoming more competent, their parent tries to oversee them less because the parent trusts they will follow the parent’s rules and will live up to the parent’s expectations.

Power exchange relationships can be very similar in this regard. It really comes down to how much trust has been built in a power exchange dynamic for the D type to lessen their oversight.

One way for trust to grow within the D type for the s type is imparted presence. Imparted presence happens when the s type has been adequately trained, has developed trust for their D type, when they know their D type really well- the D type’s wants, needs, preferences, expectations,etc., when they know how the D type would go about doing something, when they know how the D type expects the s type to behave in many different settings, when they know how the D type handles most situations/wants them to handle most situations etc. After these things have been accomplished and clearly communicated, the s type can then begin to develop imparted presence. In short, this type of presence requires the s type essentially having the D type “in their head” even when the D type isn’t around. When this occurs, the s type is able to behave how their D type wishes (whether the D type is around or not) without a direct order from their D type and without the D type governing the s type’s behavior directly.

Essentially, the s type has been so well trained that the D type is now “a part of” the s type and their decision making process.The s type and D type have become one to some degree and the s type feels he/she is connected to their D type mentally.

Many people feel that M/s is all about the s type and D type becoming one and some put a lot of emphasis on acquiring imparted presence.

However, imparted presence can be a goal for any kind of dynamic.

I can tell you from personal experience that having imparted presence has made my Master’s and my life a lot easier. Imparted presence has allowed my Master to have more faith in me as his slave and also allows him to spend less time overseeing things. After years of being together, there are plenty of things that he used to have to heavily supervise that now he just knows I can do and occasionally checks in with to make sure things are still going smoothly.

This being said there are still a lot of new things that come up as life changes that I have to be trained on that I do not have imparted presence with yet. And that’s completely okay. There are always going to be new things that need to be implemented and trained. That’s a fact of life.

What I am trying to say is that just because at a particular time a sub has imparted presence on all protocols, doesn’t mean that they always will. In my opinion, a healthy relationship requires constant modification and implementing new things as times change.

Also, on a further note, imparted presence takes time, patience, adequate training, and a lot of work for all involved. It comes from having a very solid foundation, and being able to communicate clearly and effectively.

These things are the true recipe for imparted presence.

In short,

Imparted Presence = Effective/Communication Regarding Expectations, Protocols, Etc.

+

Adequate Training

+

Patience

+

Time

+

Solid Foundation

+

S Type Being Committed to Following Their D Type’s Will

If all of these things are done properly, it would be very easy for any s type to achieve imparted presence if that is one of the goals of their dynamic.

Again, it does not have to be, and a dynamic can exist very well without it. I am merely providing one possible goal for any dynamic that wishes to have less supervision as times goes on.

As always, please feel free to ask questions and comment. Thanks for reading and stay tuned!

About the Author:

Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

Along with being a part of the Kink Weekly team, she will be teaching Kink classes all over the Los Angeles area this year, and is also proud to announce that she will be presenting two workshops at the BDSM Writers Con in Seattle and New York.

Slave Bunny graduated Magna Cum Laude with a degree in Psychology and has ample experience in the mental health field. She is also a NASM certified personal trainer and was declared “One of the Top Five Personal Trainers in the LA District” in 2016.

She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.

 

Comments

  1. bravetherain says:

    Wow! This article gave me so much to think about!

    Thanks so much for sharing!

  2. lovelythorns says:

    Thanks for breaking it down into a simple equation at the end. You really make a complicated topic easy to understand.

  3. fantasygrl says:

    Will you be teaching any classes on this soon?

  4. SlaveBunny says:

    In a couple of my classes I touch on the subject, but that’s a great idea to make a full class about it. I will keep your suggestion in mind, fantasygrl.

    Thanks for reading and for your comments!

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