I hope you have been enjoying Rika’s Lair, my monthly column dedicated to thoughts and experiences regarding power dynamics in Service-Oriented D/s relationships. Look up “Ms. Rika” in the search box for links to all of my articles in KinkWeekly!
I’m usually focused on the intent of activity rather than the activity itself. However, today I feel like sharing a little technique that I use from time to time with my submissive. It’s nothing particularly innovative, but he finds it kind of mind-blowing, and I enjoy it from a pure control perspective. If you haven’t tried it, you might like it too.
In my KinkWeekly article “Please Stop” (http://www.kinkweekly.com/special/rikas-lair-please-stop/), I explained how I insist that my sub beg to stop his orgasm, rather than begging to have one. Read the article for more info, if you haven’t read it already.
Although “Please Stop” is a ‘given’ in my sex play, from time to time, just for fun, I feel like hearing some heartfelt, honest begging. It’s a kinky little game for me – a challenge to see how far I can push my sub to desperation.
I’ve played with a number of techniques and have arrived at one that really works well – it’s a one-touch, single-finger tease. As it turns out, using “Please Stop” first, sets this technique up nicely, since I know for certain, that he’s less than 5 seconds from his point of no return when he begs me to stop. This makes the perfect time to “attack the edge” with this technique.
So, I’ll bring him to the point of begging me to stop (usually stopping several times and potentially over several days), then, rather than continuing and bringing him off immediately (within the 5 seconds) when I decide to let him come, I instead switch to a “Feather touch” with just a single finger, barely touching that sweet spot under the head of his penis. The soft touch is a temporary interruption to his progression. It startles him for a second, but then starts to build up to a very intense orgasm – IF I keep my finger on that spot! He’s not usually THAT lucky, however.
The beauty of the one finger technique, is that it slows him down just before he reaches the point of no return, which makes it easy to keep him right on the edge without allowing him to get off. The slightest departure from the sweet spot and his quest for orgasm will drift aimlessly. Lift the finger and everything stops and waits. Put it back and move it lightly, and it starts to build again immediately- almost exactly where you left off. He’s already teased and primed to come…so it’s really playing with a hair trigger…but because it takes extra time for him to trigger, you have so much control. My goal is to keep him hanging, right on the edge of his orgasm, and completely dependent on me to push him over (tie him up first, if you really want complete physical control). Your sub may vary, but mine trembles and glistens and his penis strains for contact. He gets dumb-mouthed. He can’t think straight. It’s the perfect time to prompt him to debase himself, groveling for orgasm while he’s hanging on a thread – literally at my fingertip!
When I decide to go this route, I’m throwing away the 5 second rule and starting the process of teetering him on the edge. I can keep him there for as long as I want. Minutes will feel like hours for him. That’s the time to have him BEG…kiss things…lick things…promise things. It’s pure fun. Plus, it still doesn’t mean he gets to come: If I choose to stop at that point, it’s totally devastating for him…which is
fun too…but when I have him like this, I usually eventually allow his orgasm – it’s just too delicious a build-up to let pass, particularly since my sub is very good at groveling 🙂
And that orgasm, with one finger and a light touch, while he’s shamelessly begging without pride, is quite a show. I don’t do anything but keep the finger engaged. No further contact. Maybe I’ll pull his balls a little, just to give me balance. I don’t speed up the stimulation…I just keep a steady gentle glide over the skin on that 3/4 of an inch of sweet spot, and it happens. It’s not a ruined orgasm, but is an intense and somewhat frustrating orgasm. His body shakes and arches and his heart pounds. It seems to go on for a long time. When he’s done, he’s totally winded…spent, yet wanting more. It usually takes him a few moments to talk straight!
I hope you’ll try this technique with your partner and let me know how it goes for you! Post a comment to this note or write me at, Ms_Rika@hotmail.com
Ms. Rika is a lifestyle dominant, educator, and author; living in the suburbs of NYC with her husband/slave. She has written several popular books on her approach to adding Dominant-Centric, Service-Oriented D/s to relationships. You can find her books (in both print and eBook formats) at Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/msrika), or at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the iStore, Books-A- Million, Kobo.com, or anywhere books are sold. Search for “Ms. Rika”.