The Great Escape


With the pressures of everyday life and everything that goes with it, people are seeking out more and more ways to unwind and destress. Something to take them out of themselves in the way of escapism. Someone to take control of their mind, body, and soul- whether that be a full on BDSM experience with rubber and all the trimmings or a simple bit of role play and an over the knee spanking.

BDSM has been likened to some adrenaline-driven sports such as skydiving and snowboarding, simply because people are getting the same buzz. See, we’re not so different, are we!

I can only speak from my experiences, all with men. With the weight of life hanging over them, the pressures of work, providing, paying the bills, life certainly isn’t easy. Is it any wonder they try different ways to declutter their minds and rid themselves of the pent up anxiety life has brought upon them?

For some, it is not a sexual journey, but a journey of self discovery and curiosity. I have met many an older gentleman, who in recent years have discovered the internet, found BDSM, and realized that it’s something they want to tick off their bucket list.

Others, have had a yearning for kinky play their whole lives, but never dared ask for it, for fear of ridicule or embarrassment. For some, it is a sexually expressive journey as well as a lifestyle. To others, it is like a drug; they love the high it gives them-like chasing the dragon, always seeking that all time ‘high,’ like an addiction. In short, something they can not do without. Some, are just passers by, thrill seekers who want a brief dalliance just so they can say they have ‘done it.’ They too can get caught up by the BDSM bug, and often find themselves returning for more.

However, whatever the reason, these individuals have one thing in common: they all feel a sense of relief afterwards-not relief the scene is over, but a relaxed relief. Some subs are lucky enough to reach a zen-like state known as the ‘zone’ or ‘subspace,’ where nothing else matters at that moment. When they ‘come round’ later on all their cares have gone, as if a huge weight has been lifted, and they feel ready to face the world again, feeling refreshed and recharged.

‘Subspace’ is due to the release of endorphins. I am not a scientist; If you are interested in learning more, click on the link below. It’ll explain it a lot better than I can.

In the ten years I have worked as a Pro Domme, I would say at least 90% of the men I see feel this way after a BDSM session. It gives these men a brief escape from the ‘norm’- whether it be crossdressing, strap-on play, heavy rubber, cock and ball play, corporal punishment, and so on. For the brief time they have spent with me, they have been able to forget their woes, and enjoy their ‘Pamper Time’ by means of mental escape and total surrender; it makes them feel good. If it makes someone feel good, then I am all for it (as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual).

My clients come from all walks of life. It’s a total myth that they are all high-flying business men. You don’t need to be a person with high stature to be buffeted by life. I have road sweepers, teachers, policemen, you name it. But, they all have that one thing in common no matter what their particular kink happens to be. They are all seeking escapism through kink and/or BDSM.

I consider myself to be in a very privileged position with all my clients, and in a great position of trust. They tell me their troubles, their life story, their worries, woes, and their sexual desires or kinks, which is what has led them to my door. In a way, it’s similar, I suppose, to being a counselor-you have to sit and listen without judgement. I feel that for some clients, BDSM acts as an alternative therapy, that is certainly the feedback I receive time after time.

Maybe we never really grow up. As kids we play-we are cowboys one minute then Buzz Lightyear the next. Maybe the adult playground is pretty similar in that some regress to a safe place in their mind through BDSM and by someone else taking control. Some adults need that escape just as they did when they were young.

A session starts way before entering a dungeon or a scene. It starts when the person seeking a BDSM session finds the Dominatrix or Mistress that appeals to them. They feel that instant rush of excitement, and as their appointment draws nearer they have all the feelings of going on a first date. Then, the door opens, and there The Mistress, the catalyst to their fantasy, stands in all her glory. It is through her that they give themselves over in order to reach that special place, that memory, that feeling, that endorphin high, that escape.

There are many Dominatrices or Mistresses out there. Each have their own personal style and all conduct their sessions differently. You know the old saying ‘always read the label’? Well, this applies in this case. Find a Mistress that appeals to you and your tastes. Read her site thoroughly to check whether she covers the type of session that you have in mind. Some Mistresses cover certain activities that others don’t. So, make sure you read carefully. Once you have found the Mistress that fits the bill, follow her booking procedure, go along, and enjoy the ride.

uk Mistress Jane   http://www.mistress-jane.

About the Author

I am Mistress Jane. Based in the Royal county of Berkshire in the UK, and I have worked as a pro Domme for the past ten years. Fascinated by the alternative, the weird, and wonderful-which is what probably led me on this curious path in the first place. First and foremost, I am a service provider. I take pride in my work and the services I offer. I strive to give my clients a fulfilling and satisfying experience. I am a Mistress that likes to fulfill the dreams and fantasies of men. Frown on that you might, but face it, who’s paying!?

I speak what I find, and if life has taught me one thing it’s be yourself, don’t bullshit, or try and be something you ain’t.

I play safe and sane with a smile on my face. I enjoy what I do and welcome like-minded souls.  I offer you a sanctuary to explore your desires. My stage is yours and I am ready to direct your play.

uk Mistress Jane   http://www.mistress-jane.


  1. croppedcutie says:

    Very insightful. I enjoy hearing about your experiences.

  2. subspaced says:

    It’s true. Many people use kink to escape. I have known many that use it as a form of therapy, Very well said Mistress Jane.

    • Kink and BDSM can have very healing properties and be extremely meditative depending on the type of play. I understand that it’s not for everyone, but there definitely are some known positive benefits beyond the obvious sexual component.

  3. Thank you for your comments. BDSM certainly does help the mind, body and soul. Doctors should prescribe it as a treatment for stress, and who knows, they may well do that one day…hmmmmmm…hold that thought (-;

    • Booked my next session with Mistress Jane. Two plus years since my last 🙁

      Looking forward to what Mistress has planned, have requested sensory deprivation and some serious bondage, plugging and maybe some electro stimulation.

      My previous three visits to Mistress have never failed to release me from my everyday stresses. MJ is my go to Mistress no one else will do!

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