I Want To Go To A Sex Party…but…

Now and then, a woman says to me that they want to go to a sex party, but she’s afraid to.

She’s afraid of being pounced on the second she walks in the door. She’s afraid of being assaulted, not being in control of the situation.

January 2018, I attended a sex party for the first time. I had left my husband, my dom, my Master. Two weeks later, I took myself to a Roman style orgy.

All of my concerns were put to rest at once because the venue has very specific rules regarding consent. No means no. Period. End of story. Don’t ask again.

Every sex party I’ve been to at this particular venue has been well-controlled, well monitored. Safe. Calling out the DM’s name brings him over in about two seconds to address any issues. Truly, I couldn’t feel safer.

The trick to it all is to find a place where you like the people; like how it’s run; like the policies and how they’re enforced. This can take some time and effort. That’s not always easy. 

I’ve written previously about turning around an awkward evening and instead having a terrific time. Patience is a necessity. You won’t always get what you want. There is no guarantee that you’ll have sex. You might not meet someone you find attractive.

You may also discover that you have to set aside some of your personal attraction features. Just like at any SM party, the sex party isn’t filled with Adonis and Aphrodite. People have imperfections.

The hunky dude with the biggest dick may look great and be a fantastic guy…but he may pop off in five minutes and be done before you ever got started.

The dude who is the most eager may burn his thighs out within ten minutes. The guy you wouldn’t normally go for might last for 45 minutes. 

You have no way of knowing until you’re in the saddle, as it were.

There’s a certain level of open-mindedness you have take with you. There may be trade-offs you need to make.

For example and for a multitude of reasons, I don’t perform oral sex. Period. End of story. But I do fuck like a demon. What I don’t do orally I make up for in my ability to go for a long time. And I don’t need (or want) foreplay for myself. 

Some have asked if I will receive oral, even after I’ve said I don’t perform it. My answer is yes. I very much enjoy receiving oral, and we’ve gotten down to business. If they’re not good at it, I’ll stop them after a few minutes and reach for a condom. Get it up, slap it on, and let’s fuck, bubba.

I have had perfectly satisfying encounters that were nothing but oral and fingers. I wrote about that previously, in my “Sexually Serviced for the First Time” piece.

I’ve taken a toy or two myself, most notably my little jeweled butt plug. Regardless the scorn those things get on fetish sites, it gets smiles when the guys see it, and they are always eager to use it on me.

I’ve also had a fun time without engaging in anything but socializing, simply enjoying being with the people.

The bottom line is this: If you want to attend a sex party, by all means go. Have fun. Use the condoms if you are going to have sex. 

Understand that every time you attend is going to be a different experience. Be open to that, because you never know which party is going to be the best you ever attended.


About the Author

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. 

She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twenty fiction books that you can find on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can find more of her work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.


  1. good points

  2. blueyedbabe says:

    great work!

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