BDSM and Mental Punishment

Scared woman victim of domestic torture and abuse

With the debut of the second “Fifty Shades” movie (which I have seen), one classic, and most fun, aspect of BDSM has been overlooked – training a slave. Although in previous articles I have stated that one usually cannot change human nature – or turn a Dominant personality into a submissive – part of the excitement of BDSM is training a submissive how to best please his/her … [Read more...]

Romance and BDSM


But with all-pervasive Valentine’s Day having just passed, I thought this would be a great time to analyze the role of romance in our BDSM lifestyle. Few of us are born into the BDSM lifestyle. When we first begin, we are hit with a number of “urban BDSM myths” that we later learn are misconceptions. Among these are: 1. “There is only one right way of doing … [Read more...]

D/s and Golden Showers

Water falling onto a hand in a field

With the “outing” of President Trump’s alleged golden showers romp in Russia, water sports have gone mainstream. In fact, I would bet more people engage in them than anyone can imagine. Perhaps golden showers are popular because they are easy to do. Just take a shower with a person and voila! Even vanillas might take a shot at it. But another reason they could be more common … [Read more...]

Jealousy and Polyamory

poly hands

Polyamory is so appealing – especially to Dominant types -- that I think it might be one of the major reasons so many people enter this lifestyle. With much of what we do now being offered, however inaccurately, to the general public – from Fifty Shades to Porn Conventions like AVN welcoming BDSM participants – Poly might be one of the last “secret” aspects of BDSM. Surely, … [Read more...]

Subbie Snap

Regrets wrong doing. Man having a duh moment

Up until now, we have concentrated on the broad principles that make relationships work. Communication, negotiation, limits and the like have been covered extensively. But what about the little, nagging things that can gnaw at the fabric of even the most solid Master/slave relationship? What are they? How can you avoid falling prey to them? Let’s start with one I call “subbie … [Read more...]