Long-Term BDSM

Sepia picture of a clock and beautiful young girl (focus on cloc

The question I get asked most often is how to keep a long-term (over ten years) BDSM relationship fresh and exciting. Since my current live-in situation has lasted for eight years, I am close enough to ten years to offer counsel. As with all advice, it should be filed under the category of “opinion.” That said, just talking about the subject can be enlightening – so let’s go! … [Read more...]

The Big Question

submissive man being dominated

In the world of BDSM, there are a number of questions that will instantly start a heated debate. No, I don’t mean, “Is President Trump a submissive?” – although that can start an argument in a New York minute. What I mean are questions like, “Slave versus submissive?” “What makes a Master?” and “Is BDSM play integral to a D/s relationship?” (I have addressed some of these … [Read more...]

Safety First!

red flogger

Safety in this lifestyle comes in two varieties. The first regards safety when meeting for the first time from the Internet. The second concerns safety between scening partners. Let us take the first, first! And since the submissive is the one at the “mercy” of the Dominant, this article is directed more to the submissives. Reality check: you are statistically more likely … [Read more...]

ACME BDSM Toy Catalogue


Sometimes we all get a little too solemn in this lifestyle. The stereotype of the mean, stern-faced Dom/me (does Christian Grey ever smile or tell a joke?) is rather pervasive. So, I think it is time to have a little fun. This article is not meant to be taken seriously. Presenting, the ACME BDSM TOY CATALOGUE! One of the beauties of BDSM is that the number of toys … [Read more...]

“Old Guard vs. New Guard


With the entrance of millions of new “Fifty Shades Lifestylers” into our world, the classic Dom/me/sub scripts have been turned upside down. Thus, I would like to offer to the newest members of our community some advice that takes into account this new reality. No, I will not offer “helicopter etiquette” nor “how to skipper your Master’s yacht.” But, like it or not, the Old … [Read more...]