Total Power Exchange (TPE)

While these relationships may look different on the surface, at the root of them, they are characterized by one individual having the final say when it comes to decision making.  That doesn't have to mean the other party / parties have zero input. There are books written about contracts and power exchange, so today, I'm just going to share what some of our structure looks … [Read more...]

Transactional Kink Relationships

It can be so easy to fall into.  It makes sense. We all want to fill our hearts' desires, yes? Perhaps it's something simple.  It's a frustration, and making a deal will fix it.  "I really need you to do these dishes.  I will have kinky sex with you just the way you want it."  We both win, right? But let's take a step backwards and ask if that's really what we want our … [Read more...]

When Communication Feels Like A One Way Street

Communication. We've done our personal introspecting.  We know what we want.  We've calmed down about things that we're upset about. What do we do when we continue to struggle with communication roadblocks either in our romantic relationships or in our friendships?  Do we get frustrated, blame ourselves, and quit trying to build these new healthy habits, or do we … [Read more...]

The Evolution Of Limits

Soft limits.  Hard limits. No one is truly without limits, even if they say they are.  As soon as we start talking about chewing aluminium foil or chainsaw play, people suddenly realize perhaps they do have some stopping points. For the new person, excellent starting places are some of the BDSM checklists out there.  Often they list a veritable overflowing cornucopia of … [Read more...]

I’ll Share My Daddy But I Won’t Share My Name

DD/bg (or lg or however you label yours) can be a tricky thing to combine with poly.  It is easy to feel that the strength of the bond prohibits the inclusion of others. Generally, it tends to be a nurturing relationship, and from what I've seen and experienced, can be a bit symbiotic.  Much like adding a sibling can have a period of adjustment, so, too, can adding … [Read more...]