It Doesn’t Have To Be The Same

We've all had relationships with characteristics we weren't happy with. Maybe we built a relationship on obligation and reciprocation. Maybe our relationship had controlling behaviors which damaged self esteem, such as ignoring or passive-aggression. Maybe we didn't communicate well. Maybe we closed ourselves off from our partners. Maybe we lied or sought … [Read more...]

Rebuilding A Broken Bridge

Don't burn your bridges, my Nana used to say.  I always thought it just meant to be nice, to try to maintain positivity even after a relationship fails.  The whole saying:  Don't burn your bridges behind you.  From what I've read, it is based on military strategy. As a military strategy, this is sound logic, in some cases.  Should you be attacking, cutting off an avenue of … [Read more...]

There’s a 100% Chance Something Goes Wrong

Going into a scene negotiation understanding not only what you risk in an activity, but actively preparing for things to go wrong is important.  Sure, we aren't required to do that, and some things carry smaller risks, but they say preparation is next to godliness, right?  Something like that, anyhow. The thing is, the first time you play with someone, everything may go … [Read more...]

Total Power Exchange (TPE)

While these relationships may look different on the surface, at the root of them, they are characterized by one individual having the final say when it comes to decision making.  That doesn't have to mean the other party / parties have zero input. There are books written about contracts and power exchange, so today, I'm just going to share what some of our structure looks … [Read more...]

Transactional Kink Relationships

It can be so easy to fall into.  It makes sense. We all want to fill our hearts' desires, yes? Perhaps it's something simple.  It's a frustration, and making a deal will fix it.  "I really need you to do these dishes.  I will have kinky sex with you just the way you want it."  We both win, right? But let's take a step backwards and ask if that's really what we want our … [Read more...]