Obedience vs. Understanding

My girl has the same set bedtime ritual; place clothes in laundry basket, remove make-up, wash face, brush teeth, crawl on her knees to the bed, have a chain padlocked onto her collar for the night...You know, normal bedtime stuff. Over the length of our relationship more and more rules have been brought into our ongoing dynamic. The rules started with small things, easy to … [Read more...]

Brat Attack

My partner can be a bit of a brat. She talks back, gives grief, teases, pokes, but only to her friends, and certainly not with me. Oh no! She certainly isn’t a brat with me. She has learnt not to do that. Some of our kinky friends will look plaintively at me when she is ripping them a new one, seeking some sort of dominant solidarity, imploring me to make her stop, others will … [Read more...]

What Is Sex Even For?

What is sex even for? Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power. - Oscar Wilde Sex is a social obsession. The pursuit of it, the commercialisation of it, the regulation of it. Wherever we turn someone is telling us how to get it, how to do it, who to do it with, etc… Cultural expectations and norms change from generation to generation, providing … [Read more...]

In The Kinky Closet

Yes Mistress! I am fortunate enough to know some truly wonderful dominatrices...AS FRIENDS!!! (Let us make that clear before you let your imagination run away with you.) I sometimes feel that these individuals represent a neglected field of outreach for our community, that of fantasy exploration. Many of us are lucky enough to be able to explore our kinks and fetishes with … [Read more...]

Frame The Experience

A friend of mine and I were talking the other day. We were discussing the word "slut", it was a word that had been used to hurt her in the past, now it was a word she was claiming back. I was impressed by her strength and determination, while also being reminded that words can leave invisible wounds that we carry with us through daily life. The word slut had been used to … [Read more...]