Drop and Aftercare

The situation I want to discuss is often referred to as sub-drop. It can be very unsettling to have had a really good scene with someone, have a lovely chat with them afterwards, give each other a hug, only to find out that the next day they are feeling really low. Having had a lovely night, they are now feeling sad, even upset, often without being able to put their finger on … [Read more...]

Sorry Should Be The Hardest Word To Say

Model: Domina Mara Taken by: Domina Mara Disclaimer: This but one person's opinion/perspective in the community. What this writer is describing still falls within SSC (safe, sane, consensual). He is not describing anything non-consensual. Before the practices he is describing take affect the submissive must consent to said terms and protocols. Please note this when … [Read more...]

Trust and Kink

We talk a great deal about consent in the kink community, as we should, however, I fear we sometimes do so at the the expense of other important aspects of a healthy kink relationship. In this article I want to go beyond consent and explore the role of trust in D/s dynamics. We are going to explore it from two perspectives, that of the responsibility of the Top to be … [Read more...]

Why My Girl Isn’t Allowed To Say “No”

I am sure we have all heard the sweaty, uber-dom declare; "True submissives I play with don't have safe-words." and "My partner isn't allowed to say no to me." followed by a grin which could only be described as unfortunate. I would argue that such an attitude is at best pointless posturing and at worst an indicator of dangerous abuse. So let us explore these two points, the … [Read more...]

Rules

Rules, I LOVE rules. Long lists of complicated instructions relating to everything from when they can speak to what furniture they are allowed to sit on, or short simple ones like always wearing their collar when we play. There are so many to choose from, and as with so many things in kink they are only limited by your imagination. When we set rules is it because we actually … [Read more...]