No Flirting With Hostility

Having poly aspects to a D/s dynamic can be an interesting balancing act.

I’m on what may end up being permanent hiatus from my own poly adventures, but Santa, being the dapper and charming fellow that He is, often gets requests to play with others.  I’m sure it would be even worse if He wore the suit.

I have no demands as far as who He does and does not play with, as that isn’t how this works.  TPE for us means I may make requests, and they will be carefully considered.  I know I hold value for Him, though, and as such, we have some ground rules in place.

If someone can’t be at least friendly to me, He isn’t interested in playing with them.  They don’t have to message me every day and tell me what they had for lunch, discuss their emotions in depth, or all of their thoughts on the socioeconomic policies congress is currently considering, but they do need to be on passingly friendly terms with me.  It is too easy for light flirting in public or online forums to become flirting with hostility.

What do I mean by that?  I mean when someone is rubbing another person’s face in intimacy that occured with their partner.  In our case, that would be like Him playing separately with someone who actively disliked me for any number of reasons, then that person deliberately bringing up that play to be vindictive.

Women are incredibly skilled at being ugly to one another.  Many of us raised in environments with “socializing” are quick to pick up talent at being absolutely viscious while seeming completely harmless to men.  It flies right under their radars most of the time, almost totally invisible.  It can seem like harmless flirting to them, a little light banter, when in reality every word is an ugly barb, exquisitely crafted to do as much damage as possible to a separate target.

The challenge with that is convincing someone who is unaware of those subtle skills that the devil really does exist.  Oh, she’s just being playful / friendly / some other positive adjective.  She doesn’t mean any harm, she just forgot that it bothers you for her to discuss it in front of you.  I didn’t respond to her fast enough so she figured it was fine to post that picture without giving you a heads-up.

Maybe those were all innocent.  Maybe they weren’t.  If the women are on good terms, I’m more inclined to believe it was.  If they aren’t, I’m much more likely to believe those behaviors have less posivite motivators.

Daddy isn’t all about that drama life.  If someone wants to play, she’s gotta be on good terms with me.  No exceptions.  To ignore that rule courts relationship trouble, and even more serious play is not worth the potential problems.

Not even if she wears bbq scented perfume and has beer-flavored nipples.

About the Author

Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so.  Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals.  She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey.  She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others.  She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.


  1. good points for sure

  2. crawlingjune says:

    very helpful thank you

Speak Your Mind