But Submissives Aren’t The Dangerous Ones, Right?

Consent violations.

We dread hearing about the next one to happen in our community.  Those poor submissives and bottoms have really got to look out for predators in the community, stick together.

But what happens when the violator isn’t the top?

What if a bottom withholds pertinent information from a top because they want to punish or out of a selfish desire to get what they want?  We don’t even have to make the violation sexual for it to be a serious enough breech of trust to state that the submissive is unsafe.

I’d go so far as to say dangerous.

I know of one, in fact.  Honestly, it chills me hearing about the next person they are going to scene with through the grapevine, knowing what I know about how much they hurt an amazing, well-respected top.

It’s funny how often bottoms will do intensive work to vet a top for scening, yet not once have I ever been approached by a top to vet a fellow submissive or bottom, or been asked about their character or experience.  Vetting shouldn’t be a one-way street, with only the tied or impacted checking for danger.  Tops are risking things, too, though risk to a top is more often psychological.  What we do is in direct opposition to the societal standards most of us had instilled from young ages, and hiding information from a top to hurt them isn’t teaching them a “lesson,” but rather impacting them with harm more lasting than any bruise I’ve ever received from impact.

If you’re going to tie someone, suspend someone, or give them impact, don’t you want to know they haven’t lied to or violated the trust or consent of others they’ve interacted with?

That seems the very least you can do to protect yourself as a top.

About the Author

Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so.  Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals.  She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey.  She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others.  She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.


  1. mistressmoon says:

    interesting perspective

  2. MasterPetey says:

    love this

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