The Power of Punishment

How many of us have continually blamed ourselves for things we have done in the past? How many of us have had a partner remind us of our mistakes in a sarcastic or passive aggressive manner? I feel the answer would be “yes” for most of us. It’s human to have emotions that make us wants to hold onto things. It’s normal to make a mistake, blame others, and feel bad for what you … [Read more...]

The New 24/7 Slave

In a previous kinkweekly.com article, The Dynamics of 24/7 D/s, I had opined on so-called 24/7 D/s relationships. I would like to expand on that article and offer a 24/7 plan that can work in our fast-paced and demanding society. There are a lot of differing opinions when defining the phrase “24/7” as it applies to slaves and submissives. Technically, the precise definition … [Read more...]

You Can’t Have Everything!

With L.A.’s Bondage Ball ahead of us, and Kinkweekly’s Launch Party behind us, I thought it would be a good time to see how new BDSM players transition from play to D/s relationship – if that is what they want (and many do). More often than not, upon first play, it seems that all is fine. But when it comes time to get to the next step, I was asked the following question -- … [Read more...]

“Coca-Cola Dominance”

Definition: “Coca-Cola Dominance.” In a D/s relationship, when a Dominant asks only for behavior that the submissive would do anyway. I had touched on the “Coca-Cola Dominance” question in a previous kinkweekly.com article, "Does being in love diminish a Dom/me's power?" In theory, love does make the Dom/me less likely to release the sub and thus diminishes the … [Read more...]

Spirituality of D/s

And now for something completely different! With the beginning of the New Year, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on what I believe to be the spirituality of D/s. One of the aims of the spiritual realm is to put the mind and spirit at peace. Meditation is one way to banish those disturbances and emotional ripples that are so jarring in our daily lives. Studies … [Read more...]