Beginner’s Corner: What Am I?


Everyone was a beginner once. And in order to welcome newbies into our community, I will, from time to time, write articles aimed at those who are entering the lifestyle. Like this one! I recently received a question that stated a newbie was intrigued by the lifestyle, but had no idea what she was – Domme, sub or switch. Or something else! By the question, it is clear that … [Read more...]

Old Guard vs. New Guard II

red leather

Read Part One here. As we approach our panel discussion, “Old Guard vs. New Guard,” that will be presented at DomCon LA, May 20th at 4:30 PM (Dexx will participate, so mark your calendar), I would like to review what the basic precepts are for both groups. As with any analysis of cultural traditions, there are many forms of each group. For example, there are the original … [Read more...]

The Big Question

submissive man being dominated

In the world of BDSM, there are a number of questions that will instantly start a heated debate. No, I don’t mean, “Is President Trump a submissive?” – although that can start an argument in a New York minute. What I mean are questions like, “Slave versus submissive?” “What makes a Master?” and “Is BDSM play integral to a D/s relationship?” (I have addressed some of these … [Read more...]

Old Guard vs. New Guard


With the entrance of millions of new “Fifty Shades Lifestylers” into our world, the classic Dom/me/sub scripts have been turned upside down. Thus, I would like to offer to the newest members of our community some advice that takes into account this new reality. No, I will not offer “helicopter etiquette” nor “how to skipper your Master’s yacht.” But, like it or not, the Old … [Read more...]

Old Traditions vs. Next Gen: where’s the balance?

handcuffed couple

Several years ago I was at a play party in a dungeon with someone who was really new to the scene. As we sat there observing everyone around us, our attention was turned to a young woman who walked in to the room. She was wearing a high collared, full length latex dress. Her hair was wrapped in a tight bun which accentuated her sharp facial features. She was carrying a toy … [Read more...]