“Coca-Cola Dominance”

Definition: “Coca-Cola Dominance.” In a D/s relationship, when a Dominant asks only for behavior that the submissive would do anyway. I had touched on the “Coca-Cola Dominance” question in a previous kinkweekly.com article, "Does being in love diminish a Dom/me's power?" In theory, love does make the Dom/me less likely to release the sub and thus diminishes the … [Read more...]

Dom Wants to Submit

Often my articles are inspired by questions I receive regarding BDSM, D/s, relationships and all kinds of kink-related queries. (After all, this is KINK weekly!) One of the most intriguing questions I have been asked is the following one: “If my sincere desire is to be completely dominated, and I have a dominant personality outside the playroom, can my fantasy truly ever … [Read more...]

Long-Term BDSM

The question I get asked most often is how to keep a long-term (over ten years) BDSM relationship fresh and exciting. Since my current live-in situation has lasted for eight years, I am close enough to ten years to offer counsel. As with all advice, it should be filed under the category of “opinion.” That said, just talking about the subject can be enlightening – so let’s go! … [Read more...]

Subbie Snap

Up until now, we have concentrated on the broad principles that make relationships work. Communication, negotiation, limits and the like have been covered extensively. But what about the little, nagging things that can gnaw at the fabric of even the most solid Master/slave relationship? What are they? How can you avoid falling prey to them? Let’s start with one I call “subbie … [Read more...]

Spirituality of D/s

And now for something completely different! With the beginning of the New Year, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on what I believe to be the spirituality of D/s. One of the aims of the spiritual realm is to put the mind and spirit at peace. Meditation is one way to banish those disturbances and emotional ripples that are so jarring in our daily lives. Studies … [Read more...]