Is is Normal for a Person Transitioning From Vanilla to Kink to…?

This article is in response to a reader inquiry.  I will be doing my best to reply based on the information given but if I could I would ask a few questions first. To start off I will post the original question: “My girlfriend is more experienced at BDSM and I still get jealous when her fans worship. She tells me she is mine and I need to be more confident - it's rough … [Read more...]

Kink Converter

I hear this “debate” discussed all over the place. From private party conversations to munches to support groups. If you’re single (or poly) and dating – do you even bother opening yourself up to the vanilla population? Or stick only to your own kind in the kink world? The first question you should ask yourself is how important is kink in your life? For some, kink is … [Read more...]

Are You Vanilla Or Genuinely Submissive?

This article originally appeared on A bright new submissive wrote me asking how could she tell if she was really submissive? The question seemed slightly moot at first, as the reason we were speaking was because I was a Dom and she was a submissive seeking knowledge. Nonetheless the question and our ensuing discussion quickly touched on a variety of key … [Read more...]

The Vanilla – Kink Pendulum

The signs for me that the pendulum has been hangin’ out on the vanilla end too long are fairly easy for me to read at this point. My stress level seems higher than should be expected in relation to the amount of stress I’m under, or the level that I’m normally able to handle better. I get more irritable, tearful, and emotional. When hormones aren’t to blame I know what is. … [Read more...]

Kinky dating vanilla? Don’t waste your time.

A bird and a fish may fall in love, but where would they build a home? If you are regular reader of this web site, then it’s highly likely you are kinky. And by kinky, I don’t mean that you like to spice things up with your partner once and a while with some silk scarves. I mean that BDSM is in your blood… your DNA even. And you likely spend a good amount of time playing … [Read more...]