Search Results for: safe words

A PSA on Safe words: RED to safe word shaming

July 5, 2016 By Sir Gear 4 Comments

So lately I have been hearing about, reading about, and having people I play with suffer from safe word shaming. Briefly, for those of you newbies out there, safe BDSM play involves the incorporation of calling “yellow” or “red” when you have reached your threshold of pain, tolerance or discomfort or to check in with your Dom/Top.

I think safe word shaming is bull shit. Plain and simple.

A friend that I have never played with before said yellow in the middle of a scene recently. Like any good player, I stopped and checked in. She told me what was wrong and we fixed it. Done and done, no harm no foul. We continued to play and at the end during our aftercare she apologized for calling yellow during the scene and held me tighter. I was blown away by this and told her never to be sorry for that.

A safe word does not make you weak at all. It makes me know, as a Dom, that you are a safe player who is smart enough to not want to be broken. Safe words were invented so that players could let their partner know that something was wrong during a scene. I am not sure where this whole thing of shaming a safe word came from, but I think it’s foolish for people to succumb to such thinking.

A sub needs to be able to communicate that something is wrong during a scene. If the cuff is too tight and your hand is going numb, let me know. If your butt can’t take anymore punishment and I need to stop or move to another spot, let me know. If you feel like you can’t take any more and you’re done, LET ME KNOW.

On the other side of the coin a Dom should NEVER take a safe word away from you, especially if you are a newbie. There is a mentality in some circles of, “I have been doing this for years so I know what I am doing. We don’t need a safe word.” Bull shit and RED TO THAT! A Dom you just met will not know anything about playing with you. They will not know anything about emotional triggers or hard limits that you may not have thought about. Doms are not mind readers! No amount of negotiating will prepare you for everything that can happen during play.

Lastly if a Dom makes fun of you or holds it against you for calling a safe word during a scene…. RUN! THAT DOM IS A DICK! (and most likely an unsafe player). In closing to my public service announcement, I will say that safe words are a critical tool to play in any sort of scene. Don’t be afraid to use it because and smart Dom will respect you more for using it when needed. If anyone makes fun of you for using a safe word, they are not worth your time.

So now that my rant is done, what’s your safe word? The best one I have ever heard, because it made the ENTIRE dungeon stop, was “Peanut Butter Jelly Time!” Let us know if you have a better one in the comments.

Sir Gear has been an active member of the local Los Angeles BDSM scene since 2009. In that time he has become a member of House RavynBlood and the student of Master Gabriel. Sir Gear is the promoter of Club THIRST out of Sanctuary LAX and is best known as his character, The Reverend, that has been featured at the AVN Expo, DomCon and even the Ice House Comedy Club in Pasadena.

Follow him on social media as JordanTheComic or here.

The Evolution Of Safewords

January 30, 2021 By Joji Sada 2 Comments

sexy male Dominant with wooden paddle — via stock.adobe.com

Anytime I refer to when I was first learning kink, I get this terrible image in my head that I am surrounded by a group of newbies, droning on about how “back in my day,” we did this or that. I can even hear the horrid imitation grannie voice. But the reality is, kink has changed and evolved since I dove headfirst into it, all those years ago.

The most consistent philosophy, in my opinion, would be SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual). Though, this too has evolved to include RACK (Risk Aware, Consensual Kink) and PRICK (Personal Risk, Informed Consensual Kink). While each of these has the same idea that consent is paramount to kink, they are more involved and have developed to include personal risk and responsibility.

However, the most fluid idea would be that of a safeword.

Safeword: A word, phrase, or physical symbol that indicates a BDSM scene must end.

Until recently, I accepted this definition. I believed, and taught individuals, that a safeword is used when someone in a scene reaches their limits. While I do believe that a safeword can be used in a relationship, just as much as a scene, especially with mental health issues, I accepted that it primarily referred to end a BDSM scene.

But I am having a crisis of definition.

Let me start at the beginning. We are going to take a moment and explore that horrid “back in my day” story.

When I first delved into the community, I was taught that a safeword was a single word. It was a word that was given to me by a D-type (blasphemy, I know) and it was to only be used if I was in physical danger.

Back then, no one talked about mental issues. No one discussed sub drop. No one discussed that having a scene in a bad headspace could fuck you up. No one talked about it. The community I learned from, demanded that submissives were seen and not heard. Their entire purpose was to always be available to their Dom. The needs and wants of a submissive were unimportant. A submissive had no say in how they were played with nor who they played with. I was taught that safewords were only needed until you were trained, because “real” submissives did not need safewords. “Real” submissives did not need a safeword because that was tantamount to Topping from the bottom. It meant that the submissive did not trust their Dominant. It meant that you were weak willed and weak minded. Above all, it was discussed as a disappointment when a submissive needed to save out. For the most part, scenes stopped when one was uttered, but the silent oppression in the aftermath made that an extremely uncomfortable experience.

And in all my time in the community, I never quite realized how many red flags are in that story until I wrote it out for you to read. It was simply accepted as the way of things. I honestly did not think about it too much.

Maybe that is why I am so adamant about consent and communication now. Because I see myself in all the newbies and I want them to know they have a choice. A chance to be heard. A chance to have a voice.

What was once the definition of a submissive, is now the epitome of a slave. Where once you would be passed around, with simple acceptance, now requires consent and negotiation. We discuss these concepts like they have always been part of the community. Maybe, somewhere, they have. But I was not lucky enough to be surrounded by that type of support.

The first Dominant, who was interested in me, was 32 years my senior. He had been involved in kink, privately, for a couple of decades. He knew what he liked and from the first time we talked, he groomed me. There was no negotiation. And I believed that was normal. He groomed me, at 18, and he required Honorifics. Naive as I was, his interest in me sparked me to break my own rule and refer to him as Sir. I had extremely low self-esteem and his attention was addicting. Until, one weekend, he texted me to let me know he would be out of cell range for a couple of days and he would text when he got home. Fourteen years later, I still have not received that call.

The second Dominant who was interested, was a Mistress twice my age, who wanted me to move to her and become a house girl. I would not be allowed to contact my family (whom I was close with), would be required to be rail thin, and would not be allowed to pursue my college degree. My wants, and needs, had no consideration. She too required honorifics from the very beginning, and she too ghosted me when I refused to comply.

I want to specify that I was not disrespectful. I just wanted to be treated like a human being.

After those experiences, I became very reserved. I was surrounded by submissives, and through a matter of circumstance, I fought my nature and became a switch. Once I took control, I refused to ever let it go again. Being groomed and ghosted and having no sense of self, left me with a bitter taste of BDSM. I let it become relegated to a bedroom only activity. I lost the beauty and drive of my submission.

And it culminated in the best and worst thing I ever said to Master (before I was even under consideration): “I bow to no Man. Do your worst.” But that’s a story in another article.

I wanted to give you background on where my definition of a safeword started. Had either of those individuals become my Dominant, I would not be talking to you about safewords at all. Because, back then, safewords were a handicap. They were a disappointment. They were the sign of a submissive’s failure.

Over time, my definition changed. When I met Master, he introduced me to the Stoplight system. Green for Go (although I find that part redundant), Yellow for Check-In, and Red for Stop Immediately. Not only was it more universally recognized in public dungeons, but it was also a good system for him and me to find our happy mediums.

I rarely use any of the safewords. Yellow is reserved for health issues. For example, if the cane misses my ass and hits my thigh. I will say, “Yellow, that got my hip.” It does not stop our play. We do not stop to check in. He readjusts his swing, and we continue. He trusts that I will tell him if we need to stop.

Red has never been used. I struggle deeply with even contemplating the use of it. The indoctrination (and most likely because I started as a teenager) makes it hard to hold to my limits. Master has commented more than once that when I say red (because it will happen eventually), He is figuring it will require medical intervention.

We play hard and rough and my body can take quite a beating. If I am saying red, something will be very wrong.

I tried to explain it to Master at one point. When something happens in a scene that I am unsure of, my head starts arguing. Its several voices talking over each other. One argues to safeword. One argues that I can take more. One says to push my limits. One says to back off. One sobs with my pain and one laughs at my suffering. It goes back and forth between being at my limit and wanting to push more. By the time I settle on a decision, I have already endured more than I thought I could. Then it starts over.

It is only in sub space that I escape the chaos in my head. I become catatonic. I can function and follow orders, but I lose the ability to safeword. I stop recognizing my own name. I lose the ability to speak and understand English. I am gone.

Due to my struggles to safeword, and my tendency to become catatonic, Master has learned to read my body first and listen to my answers second. Over time, He has come to trust that I am not lying to him when I say that I am fine or that we can continue whatever we are doing. In my head, I am ready to serve and accept what he offers me. In my head, I can take anything he can dream up. In my head, I am still that teenager who was taught that safewording means I am a failure.

I have encountered many viewpoints on the use of a safeword. There are the individuals who play without them. People like those who taught me. There are those who use a single safeword and only apply it to BDSM scenes. You have those who use a single safeword but apply it to all aspects of the relationship. You have those who use a color system (like the stoplight system) that are more universal in the lifestyle.

Throughout the years, the consensus has moved from submissives being property to submissives being an autonomous individual with rights. There is much more emphasis on consent and negotiation than there was years ago. We, as a community, make sure that submissives know that they are valued and should get to know a potential D-type as a person first and dynamic second.

I will never speak against those who prefer to play without a safeword. Just as I will never speak against those who prefer to be property. I am one of those submissives who handed all decisions over to Master. I do not negotiate, He has blanket consent, and I hold out on my safeword far further than most. I am his to do with as he pleases. I am there for his pleasure and in service to him. That is how I view my submission. Whether by choice or conditioning, I will probably always struggle with using my safeword. I will always struggle with the feelings of failure and disappointment, even though I know Master would never feel either of those feelings if I use it.

The culture surrounding the use of safewords has come an exceptionally long way. But I am positive that it still has a long way to go.

*On a side note, the color system has grown exponentially over the years. What started as a three color system has become almost comical in the alternative colors available for use.

Green – Go

Yellow/Orange/Tan/Amber- Slow down

Red- Stop your current activity/ End scene

Black- End everything immediately

Blue- I need water/I need comfort

My name is Joji. I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42. I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling. I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay. I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning. I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan. I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education). It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement. We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.

Changing Safewords

April 3, 2017 By Jenn Masri 1 Comment

So the rule of thumb is typically that it’s better to stick with the more widely known Safewords. In Southern California we use the “traffic light” safewords of green, yellow, and red. It may or may not be different in different parts of the country or internationally – however, since I didn’t research that I won’t presume to know.

First I will explain what (basically) these safewords mean in case any readers are newer to the scene. Green means the bottom is enjoying what’s happening. Now, you don’t hear “green” very often because typically if a bottom is really enjoying themselves they are just in the moment and perhaps all that’s coming out of their mouth are pleasurable moans, screams, etc. Red means the Top needs to stop whatever they are doing and check in with the bottom. It may mean there is one aspect of the scene that needs to stop or that the entire scene needs to end. Yellow has a more flexible meaning. To some it may mean don’t stop and check in – just lighten up on what you’re doing or switch to doing something else or use a different implement. It could, however, mean to others that they want a verbal check in from their Top – although they aren’t in as much distress as if they call red.

Now the reason I typically don’t recommend changing the safewords you use is for two reasons. One – if you keep changing them it will be harder to remember them in the moment you may need to use them. Two – if you are playing in a public play space then the DMs (Dungeon Monitors) will know what words to listen for in case they need to step in.
So let’s discuss the only time I suggest changing your safewords. Let me say first – if you decide to change them you NEED to let the DMs know and maybe even a few more people who may be around for your scene. If you call one and your Top doesn’t stop, you have people around who will know that and can step in if you need help.

Ok, so, in the 7ish years I have been playing I have only changed my safewords twice. Both for scenes that leaned heavily on role-play. In my case, interrogation role-play. The reason they were changed was to be able to call safewords while still staying in character and using words or techniques to maintain the scene itself.

Both scenes involved my Top trying to get information out of me. In both cases we also had several other people involved in the scene to various degrees of involvement. In one scene she was trying to extract a location. In this case we had one other person who was the only other person (besides me) that knew the “location” who was not directly involved in the physical aspects of the scene but was there the whole time. When I would “give in” and state a location, my Top would verify with the other person. If she stated that was not the location then the scene continued, however, the check in gave me a little break and also represented my “yellow”. If I gave a location and it checked out – that was my “red” and indicated that the scene was over. Basically that the interrogation “broke me”.
In the other example my Top was trying to get a “secret code” out of me. In this case I would give a password for my email. (Yes this was someone I was in a relationship with and trusted.) If I needed to “call yellow”, aka needed a break, I would give the wrong password. It gave me a few minutes while she attempted to use her phone to open my email. However, when I was ready to end the scene (aka red) I gave the correct password. Once she could open my email she knew I was calling the scene.

Yes I changed my password the next day.

I hope these examples made sense. If not, feel free to comment below with questions. The bottom line is that it’s better to stick to the universally recognized safewords. Only change them if you feel it will otherwise be a detriment to the scene and always make sure the DMs or others around you know what’s up.

Jennifer Masri is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in Alternative Lifestyles for individual and relationship issues. She also teaches the BDSM 101 class series at Sanctuary LAX in Los Angeles every Monday evening. Read more about Jennifer on her blog, A Kink Shrink.

Putting The Safe In Safeword

August 8, 2020 By Elyssa Rice Leave a Comment

bdsm play wheel on skin — via stock.adobe.com

For as long as I exist in a space of teaching for and existing within the kink community, I will never stop promoting, encouraging and inviting any conversation or action that promotes safety and empowerment. While completely eliminating any risk is not possible and frankly, some risk is welcomed, it is still incredibly important to protect the space and hold firm the boundaries that are agreed upon within any scene.

Historically, we have been programmed to follow many rules both consciously and unconsciously. Consciously, we subscribe to the laws created for us. We know that a red light means we must stop and if we drive through that light we risk a consequence. We also follow rules unconsciously, playing into the social scripts that have been created for us, like our fixation on socially constructed beauty ideals or that relationships must exist in a certain structure to be valid. As we reflect on our lives, while we like to think that we are running the show, there are many areas where we have little to no control. The force that pulls us is often not coming from within but from the outside and let me tell you, that force is strong.

When safe words are discussed, it is typically in a conversation about safety only but safe words are so much more than that. Safe words allow for us to be empowered in our erotic lives. They allow for us to be vulnerable and to develop deep trust between anyone participating in play. In a world where so much of what we do is controlled and so many of our “nos” get ignored, safe words allow for us to feel the power of having decisions in our own hands. How incredibly freeing to know that we have a decision that we can make that is entirely our own, without influence or pressure by another? Safe words are more than just opting out, they are empowering within.

I am often asked about the do’s and don’ts of safe words. Where do we begin? When should I use them? How do I choose which one works for me? These questions are all extremely important and while many folks have differing opinions on safe words, I will provide my standard rules. Please note that these rules may not apply to everyone but have been a solid base for myself, my friends and many clients who participate in kink play.

The first and most important rule of safe words is simply to have them. I have heard the debate many times that folks do not want or need a safe word and of course, we all have the power to make those decisions for our own lives, but I do not in any way encourage that. If you are new to the kink scene, it is paramount that you have safe words integrated into play. Consent and boundary violations are far more likely to occur if safe words do not exist and negative early experiences in the kink world can be highly influential on the future of your kink exploration.

A safe world simply existing in the realm of your consciousness is not enough. It needs to be shared, discussed and agreed upon. The question often remains, how do I choose one? Well, one of the most important aspects of choosing a safe word is selecting a word that you will not only remember, but one that does not naturally come up within an erotic encounter. Words like “no”, “stop” or “don’t” are often integrated into play and can create confusion within a scene. Safe words should be obscure, but not so much so that they will pull you entirely out of the erotic space. If you pick a word that makes you laugh or uncomfortable, you may struggle to get back into the erotic space if you choose to do so.

The most common safe words that I have heard are based on the traffic light system. Green indicates complete comfort with where the scene is at and designates consent to continue. Yellow indicates that the comfort zone is being pushed but that there is still consent to continue with the awareness that any further may be too far. Of course, there is red, indicating a full stop. There is no confusion about the use of the full stop safe word. Play stops, period. You and your partner/s have the freedom to choose words that you will use in your play but keep in mind that there needs to be no doubt whatsoever regarding what the words are and what each of them means.

So, let’s be real for a moment here. There are plenty of situations that an individual can be in where their mouth is not free or their ability to verbally communicate is no longer existent. These are the moments that reinforce the importance of not only having a safe word but having a safe gesture. Whether you agree on squeezing a hand a number of times, tapping out, or creating your own gesture, these are vital for those who play with breath, gags, or any activity where your mouth is full. Erring on the side of caution can only enhance play so having both a safe word and a safe gesture can allow for a safer, more comfortable and more connected experience.

Now, if a safe word has been established, shared and agreed upon, there is one more component that is crucial to discuss. This is the actual use of safe words. I have heard far too many times stories of individuals hesitant or even against using safe words. The problem with this mindset is that it is doing a disservice to every person involved in the play. Safe words are meant to keep boundaries in place and crossing those boundaries can result in the type of physical and/.or emotional harm that deters folks from playing again in the future. As much as a submissive trusts that their Dominant will adhere to the use of safe words, a Dominant trusts that their submissive will use it if necessary as well. Trust that a safe word will be respected on ALL sides is key to play and if safe words are not used when needed, the boundaries are violated for everyone involved.

In addition, it is important to note that submissives/bottoms are not the only people that benefit from or are entitled to the use of safe words. Limits can be crossed for all folks within a scene and the idea that Doms do not or should not safe word is problematic and dangerous. All of those involved have the right to opt out of play at any given time and we must remember that boundaries are not limited to only subs and bottoms.

All in all, the use of safe words is an incredibly important component in kink play. To allow ourselves to be completely immersed in the play with the knowledge that we have the freedom to opt out at any point is what can make the play itself even more intense and powerful. Trust is built when all parties involved adhere to the boundaries created and trust is the key to unlock the endless potential of pleasure that we can all experience.

About The Author

Elyssa Rice is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in the Kink and Alternative Lifestyle community. She is a writer, lecturer and advocate for sexual empowerment and sexual freedom. She has a private practice in Los Angeles, CA and is dedicated to shifting the narrative about both the mental health and Kink community.

Humiliation scene ideas – Degrading words & phrases

May 24, 2020 By Baadmaster 2 Comments

In this new hopefully temporary reality of “The Attack Of The Covids,” I have not been able to socialize, play and otherwise interact in the BDSM world. Then again, nobody else could. And although I could not get fresh questions, I had accumulated a bunch of questions.

For this week I have chosen a rather lightweight question. In the current state of affairs, I don’t think people want to think. Call this query kinkweekly light.

Reader: I’ve browsed the Internet but couldn’t find anything about BDSM and words — nasty words to be specific. I’m running out of words to degrade and humiliate my slave with! Please help.

Actually, what you are experiencing is to be expected. Eventually, you will run out of words and expressions with respect to any BDSM activity – let alone humiliation, which has a relatively small verbal arsenal to begin with. Sooner or later, you will find that you have to start repeating words. After all, there are just so many nasty, degrading words in the English language. Even if you add some of the following ten phrases to your verbal menu, thus expanding your vocabulary of degradation, you will still hit a wall if you constantly need fresh terminology.

You worthless slutpig.
You pitiful whore.
You useless strumpet. (If you want to go Shakespearean on your slave!)
You pathetic cunt.
You deplorable hole.
You awful, shameful POS (piece of shit.)
You insignificant piece of rubbish.
You unimportant, useless sack of shit.
You disgraceful two-dollar whore.
You execrable streetwalker.

Need more than just these ten? Just thumb through any thesaurus and you can come up with new and original degrading phrases. But only to a point. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sooner or later, you will simply run out of words and phrases.

However, while you might exhaust your supply of humiliating expressions, if you are a real-time couple into humiliation play, you will never run out of ways to degrade your slave. (Before I continue, let me make it perfectly clear for our readers that humiliation play is exactly that – a specific type of BDSM play. It is in no way universal, or required, in a Master/slave relationship. And, as with all BDSM activities, it must be completely consensual with safe words.)

I have noticed that “baby” can be a term of affection, is also a popular term of degradation. If we go from the word “baby” to actual acts of humiliation involving infantilism, you can roleplay from today until doomsday and you won’t need a thesaurus to find synonyms for “baby” to keep your play fresh. For example, the use of baby pacifiers can expand your degradation palette in much greater ways than any new words or phrases can. Make your slave wear a baby pacifier, either in private or public, and you are now talking major humiliation! The range of degradation in baby play is staggering. It can go from forced baby talk all the way to wearing diapers. Thus, although you might run out of words, you surely won’t run out of ideas!

The same principle applies to just about any of the “big six” words – cunt, bitch, whore, slut, pig, baby. Let’s examine the word “whore.” Off the top of my head, I can only come up with about four terms that are somewhat equivalent — slut, hole, fuckpig and fuckhole. Not many. Again, once you add real-time roleplay into the mix, boredom and repetitiveness goes out the window. If your slave is a female, make her dress up as a streetwalker; if male, make him dress up as a transvestite hooker – in the house, at least for now. This is a virtual “Humiliations R Us!” You can keep this private or public, according to your preference. Or you can write the words “whore” and “slut” in marker on his/her body. This is major degradation – especially if you let others view your handiwork. The possibilities are endless.

If you are strictly into verbal humiliation, you must accept the fact that there will be times when your verbiage will become repetitive. Don’t beat yourself up over it. (Or, maybe, beat yourself up over it!) But once you expand your play into other forms of real-time humiliation, no matter how mild, you will find these limitations are immaterial.

On a life-and-death tip, let’s hope this national nightmare ends soon enough, Be safe.

About the Author

After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Safety First!

March 14, 2017 By Baadmaster 5 Comments

Safety in this lifestyle comes in two varieties. The first regards safety when meeting for the first time from the Internet. The second concerns safety between scening partners.

Let us take the first, first! And since the submissive is the one at the “mercy” of the Dominant, this article is directed more to the submissives.

Reality check: you are statistically more likely to be killed in a random convenience store robbery than in meeting a total stranger offline — even from Craig’s List! One is more likely to be raped in a real-time encounter than from an Internet date. Picking up a stranger at a singles bar is riskier than meeting someone online. But do not let these figures make you complacent; there is danger lurking if you aren’t careful. If you follow these guidelines for offline safety – even though some might seem obvious — you should never fear an offline meeting again.

Never meet anyone without talking to them on the phone first – and in both directions. You call them, they call you. With cell phones, there can be no excuse for not talking. You would be surprised how many people meet after just a few e-mails or a series of computer or app chats. This should never be attempted — no matter how many excuses are given, no matter how powerful the real or imagined chemistry is. Remember, tying up someone is part of the BDSM culture. So know who is tying you up (or who you are tying up) before you proceed to play.

Your first offline meeting should be in the middle of day in a well-trafficked restaurant like a Denny’s. Denny’s (and I am not being paid to say this) is perfect. They are all over the place, are usually crowded (for added safety) and are inexpensive (so there is no pressure.) But, no matter what, trust your instincts. If you get a bad feeling for any reason, say “thanks for the pancakes”! (I know a submissive who met mass murderer John Edward Robinson – a/k/a “Slavemaster” – in a Kansas City diner, thought he was creepy, and did not go his “dungeon.” True story.) So, follow your intuition!

Finally, a “safe call” should be pre-arranged with a friend. The basic “safe call” is a phone call that your friend is expecting at the time of your meeting. Your friend should know where you are meeting. You should have worked out some simple code words — something like, “I’ll be back on time” to indicate you are fine. Anything with “Houston” in it – as in “Houston, we have a problem” – should alert your friend that something is seriously wrong. The safe call is very important. Never cut corners with regard to it, no matter how many great offline meetings you might have had in the past. “Houston” will rarely, if ever, be needed; but if it is, you will be glad there is a friend out there to help you. If you are meeting for first-time BDSM play, ideally it should be in a reputable dungeon. There, the owners have your safety in mind and you can play knowing there are “Dungeon Monitors” watching the scene so it does not get out of hand.

Now, onto the second aspect of safety: that between scene partners. Although you likely already know these precautions, it’s worth repeating. Whether it is flogging, paddling, caning, bondage, rope play, hot wax or any number of activities, one should first negotiate the scene with the Top being made aware of what the bottom’s limits are. That established, a “safe word” and a “safe signal” should be agreed upon. If a prospective Dominant says, “I never use safe words,” be wary. Check him/her out carefully.

It should be noted there might be times — most often when in subspace — that the submissive is unable to utter the safe word or use the safe signal. It is at this point where the Dominant should err on the side of caution; do not continue flailing away because you hear no safe word or see no safe signal. Ultimately it is the Dom/me’s responsibility for the submissive’s safety. And to insure the sub’s mental safety, the Dominant should not skip aftercare.

Just because you have heard these admonitions a thousand times, reading them one more time can’t hurt. Remember, the BDSM mantra is Safe, Sane and Consensual. Notice the words “safe” comes first!

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

Heavy Play, Safe Play

July 19, 2016 By Baadmaster Leave a Comment

After a series of articles that were aimed primarily at newbies, we will address the concerns of those of you who want to be heavy players. Often times you meet on forums like FetLife or at local dungeons – or even here! — and both of you click because you have the need for heavy play. And, of course, you both want it to be safe.

Many heavy players eschew the safe word; understandably so. But I would suggest some initial play – no matter how heavy – with a safe word and/or safe signal. Remember, one person’s medium play can be another’s heavy. So, in order to facilitate successful heavy play, I propose a process that has worked for many in this lifestyle.

The Process

There is a tendency to evaluate whether a player is safe or unsafe based solely on whether he/she has caused any injury during play. Although this is a very good yardstick, it can also be claimed that safe play is not simply the absence of harm. It is the total approach that should, in and of itself, be safe. Contradictory, you say. Then, let me explain. If you were driving a car at 100 miles an hour during rush hour, you might not get into an accident. Yet, that would be considered “unsafe driving” – no matter what the outcome. Similarly, if a Dominant ignores basic safety precautions – such as having a topical antibiotic on hand during a play piercing or not allowing a safe word during his/her initial sessions with a given submissive – this would still be “unsafe play,” regardless of the result.
Safety – especially for heavy players where the risk is greatest — is a process. Granted, I have seen Dominants flail away with abandon on first meeting. Again, this might not cause any damage. But, in my opinion, why the rush to mega-markings right off the bat? Going slowly is not the mark of a weak Dominant; in fact, quite the opposite. Safe play means understanding the submissive; knowing how easily he/she bruises and how much pain the submissive can reasonably be expected to take. Sometimes it is the submissive who talks with bravado: “I have never safed”, “I can take anything”, or “I am the ultimate pain slut.” But, as we had stated earlier, one person’s medium can be another person’s heavy. Safe play, as I see it, is not going as hard as you can right away. The Dom/me should always go at a slower speed when first scening with a submissive. After all, why risk getting a ticket for unsafe scening?!

You Can’t Read Minds

No matter how hard people try, it is next to impossible to read minds. Books, yes… minds, no. So, whether you are a Dom/me or sub, don’t attempt it. Communicate the old fashion way, talk! For example, as a heavy player, don’t just flail away and rely on the sub’s safe word or safe signal while you are first using one. From time to time, lean over and ask whether the sub is alert and OK. Kind of like the fight referee after a knockdown. Remember, a sub in subspace is often unable to hear or even feel much. Ask. After all you can’t read minds – least of all that of a sub that is lost in space!

From the sub’s point of view, if the Dom/me says he/she is experienced, don’t just leave it at that. Tell him/her your hard limits (even the heaviest of players have hard limits), make sure he/she will respect your safe word and communicate. (Again, if the Dom/me says “no safe words” right out of the box, be wary.) And, don’t expect him/her to read your mind, or vice-versa. As I see it, it is only “topping from the bottom” during the scene; before the scene it is simply negotiating. And, if there is superb communication before play, then the sub will not have to top from the bottom!

An Old Guard Tradition

Although much of the history of the “Old Guard Leather Societies” is debatable, there is one “tradition” I have heard of that makes sense to me. That is where the Dom/me, should he/she draw blood on an implement, is required to give that toy to the submissive. It makes sense if you think about it. It not only has a great safety aspect to it, but it also seems to have a nice ring to it. Even if you are not “old guard,” and chances are you aren’t, presenting the bloodied knife or flogger to the submissive is a nice custom, with some fine safety implications thrown in.
Overall, safety is a habit you get into — especially for the heaviest of players.

What Is It About Impact Play?

April 17, 2021 By SafferMaster 3 Comments

With her ass lit up red from well over 300 strokes with a heavy flogger, her cum dripping down her legs, her mind floating in a hypnotic sub-space fog, she moans as my cock fills her ass.

“Mark me Daddy” she coos.

The cane stroke startles her for a moment, before she moans with pleasure as my cock again fills her ass and my cool skin presses against her red-hot cheeks…she is cuming hard as she asks again to be marked “mark me Daddy.” In our scenes, she is marked and then ass fucked until she asks to be marked again. The cycle repeats until she stops asking or until I am so aroused that I cum. This week she welcomed 10 strokes of the heavy cane. She is a proudly marked collared slut.

Impact play is ultimately a form of energy play. Kinetic energy that the implement delivers to the bottom, who in impact play is referred to as the catcher, from the person wielding the whip, the thrower, varies based on the skill and the amount of energy used to throw the whip. What occurs in the receiver’s body with the impact is an interesting neurophysiological and psychological/emotional phenomenon. What makes a masochist a masochist is the association of pain with pleasure. And at the same time, there are people who do not identify as masochists who enjoy impact play. With that in mind, consider that the first time a flogger/whip lands on the skin, the pain receptors, technically called nociceptive mechanoreceptors, are stimulated to fire. They send their message of pain up to the brain using a slowly transmitting message pathway of unmyelinated nerves. Think of it as if the pain message is on a slow train to the cerebral cortex delivered by a chemical process of neurotransmission. If you have ever bumped your shin hard, you know exactly what I am referring to. The message of pain gets to the brain eventually, and with repeated strokes of the flogger, that pathway is chemically depleted. At the same time, there is another process occurring that creates a chemical irritant to the nociceptors. This time at the level of the capillaries. In the case of an unseasoned bottom, the capillaries fail and leak. The blood that leaks will lead to bruising around the area. Deep bruising on a fresh bottom will spread as the blood drains with gravity. In a seasoned bottom, this redness is transient, and reflects a slightly different process which I will come back to. Local bleeding produces lysosomal enzymes in the interstitial spaces, which create chemical pain as those lysosomes irritate the nociceptors. When you press on a bruise, it hurts because those lysosomal enzymes are out in the interstitial tissues rather than encapsulated in in the lysosomes in the blood vessels where they belong. In the seasoned bottom, the local redness is in part due to the normal cooling mechanism of the body. Local heat causes redness as blood comes to the surface so that cooling can occur, and heat can dissipate. The main advantage of “warming up the bottom” is that the fluid filled tissue is very tolerant of impact play. With my slut, we play almost every day and her ass gets very red, but a short time after we play her skin color has returned to normal. There are no lasting effects of the impact play on the local tissue.

Just a short note on pain interpretation. As best we can tell, pain is an emotion. We experience the emotion the way we do based on many things from our upbringing to our nature. My mom was incredibly stoic. She barely flinched when she cut her and badly and had to have stitches without anesthetic. I have had a dental filling replaced without an anesthetic by just using visualization to manage the pain of dental work. The point is that we all interpret pain differently.

As a flogging scene begins, I gradually build up the intensity of the impact and the ass literally warms up. The combination of repeated blows of a gradually increasing intensity brings enough blood to the area to allow the blows to land on tissue that does not deform sufficiently to fire off the deep pain receptors and the sensation of impact play is normalized recruiting the normal sensory pathway, which is delivered via high-speed electro-chemically transmitting myelinated nerves. Think of this as the fast train. Imagine that the two pathways get to a station, and at the station, there is a gating mechanism which gives priority to the rapidly conducting nerves, so the pain transmission is overwhelmed by this new input and the sensation experience of the catcher changes to a sensation that is interpreted as pleasurable, or at least, as a more normal sensation.

Its that shift that moves the experience from one of punishment to one of pleasure. The impact imparts kinetic energy that the catcher internalizes as erotic, sexual and arousing. This occurs because in the cerebral cortex, the pain input is received, and because pain is an emotion, like happiness or sadness, how it is received is up to the interpretation of the catcher. It is in this state of being in a hypnotic trans that the catcher interprets the impacts as pleasurable, erotic or sexually arousing.

The implement I choose to mark my slut with is the cane. I have a long history with the cane, both in being caned as a child in school as well as an implement to enforce a discipline or impart a punishment. I choose the cane as the implement I use to mark my slut as an act of love. She wears her marks with pride, and she chooses to be marked on her terms. We have created a paradigm where she puts herself forward for marking in our high protocol scenes and during the scene, I mark her when I am confident that she is, in fact, prepared and ready to be marked. She occurs to me as ready for marking when it is clear to me that she is experiencing a deeply hypnotic state or what we know as “subspace”, and that her ass has been warmed up with hundreds of strokes starting with light and progressing to heavy, and after I have flogged her on two or three separate occasions building up to the intensity each time leading up to the marking. Once she is warmed up to my satisfaction, I alert her than marking is next so she can prepare herself, then I give her one firm cane stroke with the heavy cane. I choose the heavy cane because she is a seasoned bottom and in order to mark her, I need to make sure she develops a deep bruise. What follows for us is that it’s up to her to request that she be marked again. Giving her this choice has opened a new avenue for her to explore her masochism and her capacity to expand her enjoyment of our impact play. There is a lot of power in her choosing to be marked. She is empowered to test herself and she is immensely proud of her marks. To illustrate this, note that in the past, she only tolerated up to 3 or 4 strokes before she limited out, with this new paradigm she is now requesting up to 10 strokes and talking about asking for more. I have one more thing to say about the marking. The intensity of the cane strokes pulls her out of her hypnotic trance for sure, so we have created a way to manage the marking process, and then after the marking process if complete, I incorporate all the tricks I have to create sexual pleasure for her so that she is able to return to her trance state. Marking for us is not an act of punishment or discipline. Its part of our dynamic and its part of our agreement to live a Total Power Exchange. In our dynamic, she belongs to me and I mark my belongings. With that said, I have postulated that because she experiences orgasms with flogging, that before long, and especially as her cane strokes grow in number, she will also experience orgasm with cane strokes.

What is interesting about impact play is that there are all sorts of implements to enjoy experimenting with. I have had the experience of topping a dedicated and long experienced masochist who was fulfilled by suffering. She was more interested in being hurt than she was in having an orgasm. There is nothing wrong with that, and that is not where we are in our current dynamic. As a sensual sadist, my interest is in using implements that allow my slut to explore her sexuality, and her masochism as her full self expression. She is a sensual masochist. Not looking to experience pain for the purpose of suffering, but rather looking for pain that arouses her in the context of an impact scene. We have discovered that she is partial to the heavy flogger. It brings out her inner slut and she has enjoyed the experience of as many as 1200 vigorous continuous strokes with the heavy flogger. She is not, as it turns out, partial to the riding crop, or the paddle or the wooden paddle which seems to be distracting for her. She finds a rhythmic flogging to be what she desires to keep her in subspace and in full arousal. She finds that the experience of intermittent strokes or strokes that surprise her tend to “break the spell” as it were. That’s not her jam. She wants predictable impact play that allows her to explore the depths of her masochism and her journey in subspace and rhythms that maintain the hypnotic and erotic state of mind seem more suited to her sexual inquiry.

Thinking about floggers, there is a continuum from light floggers to heavy, to cat-of-nine tails, to snake whips to single tails to bullwhips.

The natural progression is that in the case of throwing and catching whips, there is a progression that requires skills. Luckily, the skills build from implement to implement. Also, there is a difference between punishment and sexuality. In this writing, I am speaking about sensual sadism while using whips and floggers for hypnotic impact play. This is the way we use the flogger. The impact play scenes we engage in are erotic and hypnotic by nature. This means that there is loud music and the rhythmic strokes that build up from lighter to heavier are predictable to her and timed with the music. Because I can increase the intensity on a gradient without changing rhythm or by suddenly changing the intensity too dramatically, I can keep her in that hypnotic trance state for a long time. The below threshold intensity of the rhythmic flogging that we engage in helps to both create a hypnotic trance, and to sustain the experience such that I can increase and decrease the intensity of the flogging so she can ride waves of pleasure during our play. The only unpredictable variable in our use of the flogger then is the duration of the flogging. What I never do is “shock” her with an unreasonably heavy strike so she comes out of the hypnotic trance she is experiencing.

The choice to move from flogger to cat-of-nine requires the learning of a skillset to keep all nine fronds of the whip on target. This is amplified in difficulty by orders of magnitude with each successive whip as the number of fronds goes down, and the length of the whip increases, requiring one to use more force to get the whip on target with each transition from one whip to the next. By the time you get to single tails, you are dealing with a whip that can move at subsonic speeds imparting a massive amount of kinetic energy to the catcher with each stroke. There is no advantage to whip a catcher at super sonic speeds, that is to say, to crack the whip on the person, and even a sub-sonic whipping, where you crack the whip just before it impacts the catcher, imparts a significant amount of kinetic energy to the catcher, who’s skin will likely break unless they are very experienced at catching high intensity whips.

The definitive work on whips is “Whips in the Dungeon: Singletail Technique” by Dex who also has an extensive video library and who regularly hosts educational sessions on whip play on Amazon. Dex maintains a Patreon for a lot of his very worthwhile content too. You can find that here: https://www.patreon.com/witd. And you can access his Whips in the Dungeon video library that accompanies the text here http://witd.houseofgraves.com/witd/. If you want to learn to be a proficient whip thrower, I strongly recommend the Dex method that progresses you from one whip to the next most difficult whip on the way to the single tail. Dex has a couple of Youtube channels and a facebook page that you can follow him on. All of those links are available on his fetlife page. Just search for Dex.

There are two participants in our impact play scenes. The thrower (me) and the catcher (her). In our scenes, we use impact play as in integral part of our sexual encounters. I use chain bondage, and her obedience to create a deep dive into hypnotic subspace, and along with hypnotic erotic flogging, take her to that place where her sexual self-expression occurs in her submission and her unconstrained exploration of herself as a masochist. It has been there, in that experience of subspace, that our sexual encounters take on the form of an energetic exchange where we find ourselves occurring not as two people, but as a single sexual creature. This experience is brought about after a long bout of rhythmic flogging that pushes her deeper into that frame of mind. The deeper she goes, the harder I can flog her. The harder I flog her the more she cums, the firmer her butt gets and the more she tolerates cane strokes.

I have had vastly different experiences with impact play over the years. I have used impact play as a tool of discipline where submissives who seek guidance choose escalating sessions of corporal punishment to keep them accountable. In those instances, there is not a long warm-up and the submissive is told to simple bend over and pull her panties down before being caned. I have also, as I mentioned, been served by a submissive who needed to suffer in order to be fulfilled sexually. She wanted to be surprised by intense punishment scenes with unpredictable impacts that shocked and surprised her for example.

Impact play is something that you can do with or without association with sexual intimacy. People who are dominants might themselves also enjoy impact play as catchers in addition to being throwers. The main thing it to remember is that consent is everything and the negotiation that allows the impact scene to progress should include agreements around safe words.

In our dynamic, we use Red and Yellow. Others use a number scale, and so on. The number scale is way for people who do not know each other well to be in communication during a scene. The thrower might feel that they are using a force that occurs to them as a 7/10 while the catcher might only be experiencing the impact as a 3/10. The number scale can help them get aligned in their interpretation of the intensity. The key to a successful scene is that the thrower and the catcher MUST be in communication, and there must be trust so that the catcher knows that the thrower will honor their safe words.

Play safe!

SafferMaster and Lady Petra offer Kink Relationship Coaching with online, group, and personal coaching options.

You can access the coaching services offered by Lady Petra Playground by reaching out for an initial conversation- LadyPetraPlaground@gmail.com

The Patreon is also a way to sign up: https://www.patreon.com/LadyPetrasPlayground

Lady Petra and SafferMaster also produce the Kinky cocktail Hour podcast available on all podcast platforms

Emotional Endurance and BDSM

April 10, 2021 By Baadmaster 2 Comments

hot lesbian rope bunnies — via stock.adobe.com

What would life be like without the bi-monthly covid-19 intros in my Ask BaadMaster series here on kink weekly. (Did someone say, “A lot more fun!”) Well, it is looking more and more like these corona virus based intros will go the way of Sears fairly soon. With this in mind, I would like to start to make these articles more play based; after all, most of us have not been playing in public for the better part of a year. And though your flogger might not rust, your play techniques will. With this in mind, here is a question I picked up which went to the heart of a play-based dilemma.

Reader: I’ve practiced rope bondage for over two years (one pre-covid) on my female sub. Luckily, we live together and have been able to get in some play this last year. But even before the pandemic, she was begging for a long-term bondage scene, which is new for us. I’ve read about the physical logistics, but I’m more concerned about how it’ll affect her emotionally. She’s enthusiastic… but what if she’s not realistic about her limits?

Ordinarily, I would suggest you join a local dungeon and observe the play there and also talk about your desire to become a more skilled rope practitioner. The best way to learn anything is to listen to people who are skilled in that discipline. So that leaves playing in your home. But if you are into impact play or your sub is loud, you might have trouble with neighbors. Besides, it is unlikely you have a fully stocked home dungeon. (Exception if you are the Fifty Shades guy.) So until the dungeons reopen – and DomCon LA is now re-scheduled for mid August – a different strategy is called for.

I would look at your current situation as though you are a beginner – even if you are familiar with these protocols. First, I would re-establish the importance of a safe word and a safe signal. Since you are concerned about emotional aspects of this scene, explain to her that she should err on the side of safety with respect to using her safe word or safe signal. Make it clear that should she use it, you will not be disappointed in her. Many subs try to avoid “safe-ing” as a matter of pride. But, this is usually in the physical context of pain thresholds. Here the Dom can always use his eyes and ears to see if he has been going too far; he does not have to rely solely on a safe word or signal. As there are no physical signs to see when you are concerned about psychological damage, you must explain to her that she will be your “eyes and ears” with respect to going over the line. And read some of the articles here to increase your general knowledge about BDSM. Use the remainder of this “time in exile” to raise your BDSM IQ!

Now onto play. Since you have expressed doubts in her ability to be realistic about her limits, and you cannot use your own eyes and ears to assess when you have gone too far, then you must use what I call the “thousand mile principle” with her. (“What is the “Thousand Mile Principle,” you ask?) There is a Chinese saying that says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Keeping this in mind, you can say that a long-term bondage scene is really just a series of short-term bondage scenes. Thus, you must approach this like a journey of a thousand miles.

Your first step is to establish a temporal benchmark – a time frame that you know your sub has no problems with. Let’s say this benchmark is a half-hour. (It could be anything; since you have been practicing short-term rope bondage with your sub, you already know the length of time that has been safe to use with her.) Then add, incrementally, more and more time to your bondage scenes. You might start with half-hour increments. Thus, your next scene would be keeping her in rope bondage for an hour. Of course, all safe words and signals apply. After the scene, discuss it. See if the hour had any ill psychological effects. If she liked it and wants to go further into the world of long-term bondage, then add another half-hour to your next scene. Now, you are up to an hour and a half! You can keep adding half-hours to your scene. Eventually, you will get to some serious long-term bondage! Remember to discuss the scene with her immediately post-aftercare and again the next day, so you get some perspective from her. Ultimately, you will reach her true limit.

When you get to her time limit, you might wish to throttle back on any time you plan on adding to the scene. In the example I have given you, you might wish to only add ten more minutes at a time. And, once you reach her hard limit, respect it.

Here is one additional piece of advice I offer. Use the stop-watch on your cellphone to time your scenes. Since you might lose track of time during the excitement (or demands) of your bondage sessions, set it to vibrate (which you should have in the dungeon anyway). Thus, you can time your scene which also will give you a kinda-sorta diary to keep track of your progress.

I am under no illusion that I am as good in play as I was before this pandemic started. I am not being overly humble; but “Pride cometh before a fall.” And since I do not plan on falling, I will not be filled with foolish pride. One step back, two steps forward!

Last But Not Least…

March 26, 2021 By eve 2 Comments

It had been hours since the night had begun. Her head was bowed ad her eyes closed. Did she know she was a fairy? A mess of amber waves sprung from her head. I imagined it all pulled back for a day job in a downtown office tower. A curvy goddess disguised and contained in a white blouse and black pencil skirt every day. And when the moon was waning, the goddess emerged.

“She is fucking ethereal,” I commented to no one in particular. I watched the others as they cheered and jeered at Beanpole’s performance. It was the strangest thing all of a sudden. I could smell food. At the bottom of the stairs was a small table with a selection of vegetables, fruit an assortment of hor d’oeuvres. I had to contain my urge to laugh here. I was in the middle of an erotic rollercoaster, watching things unfold, and there were snacks. Was the plan to stop and have a break before the final slave was auctioned for the evening. It struck me as odd that no one else seemed to notice that food had appeared. On the far wall, she stood and fidgeted, stretching her feet as though she was about to go up onto her toes. She was utterly indifferent to the funky music and dancing Sissy just six feet away from her. It seemed like she was separate somehow in a world all her own unaffected by the evening events. She didn’t look around the room, hoping to catch anyone’s eye. She didn’t play with her clothing or flick nervously with her fingers. Her makeup was still creating a mask and holding her most authentic self behind shiny blushed cheeks, long eyelashes and rosy lips. Her skin tone was muted, and she grabbed the last sun-kissed freckles of summer. Her tan lines we’re from a modest bathing suit but defined enough that you could have drawn an outline for some version of the emperor’s new clothes. She was comfortable in her own skin and indifferent to those around her. She was very unusual and carried herself considering she had agreed to be a sex slave for the evening.

Lotti was the only one left to be bid on for the evening. It has been an entirely civil night of sensual and sexual indulgence. Not a bawdy orgy of arms, legs, sweat and bodily fluids choreographed o pleasure. I had no information about her in my book. Unlike the others who were a caller, she had a 2-inch green satin ribbon tied in a bow at the back of her neck. She didn’t have a curd with her “hard no” list attached to it.

A pair of soft green panties looked so odd in this cavern of dim light and sensuality. It was just panties, but these panties told a story. Her being told the story of being wise enough to not sell it but coy sufficient to be enticing. This was a woman who knew how to get her way without saying a word. The green shimmer of mother of pearl captured in satin and threads of silver through the lace complimented her smooth, taut skin. The lace detail dipped to the top of her pubis, drawing the eye to the Aladdin’s cave of wonder, veiled behind the flawless green satin. The satin was gathered, not tight or worn, almost as though it floated above her skin. My sex twitched with the thought of running a nail along the edge of those panties. Imaging my face against her thigh, blowing cool air over the satin until I raised goose pimples on her creamy sun-tanned skin or a moan of pleasure from her throat.

I was happily doodling in the margin when the auctioneer came to the centre of the room.

“Slaves and Masters, tonight or cave of indulgence offers a rare treat indeed.” He walked over to the wall, slid his hand behind Lotti’s back and escorted her to the centre of the room. She walked. He spoke, “this tantalizing being offers a unique and special opportunity for everyone here this evening. Lotti is here to fulfill a fantasy. Not to be taken lightly, I have assured her of the ultimate erotic journey. Lotti has entrusted me to invite you to heighten her senses and bring her to rapture.”

The crowd was audible in its delight. With all master’s permission, we would like the slaves to be released to participate freely. However, if a master cares to choreograph and direct a particular slave to participate in what is to be offered, that is acceptable. The hard limits are no marks, no toys, check-in before penetration and safe words green, yellow, and red.

“the fantasy is simple. Our darling Lottie would like to be restrained, blindfolded and delighted. She has been pampered, oiled and made ready for a banquet of delights which we offer to you. All I could think was he has to stop talking this way because it’s way too weird. However, when I looked around the room, it was apparent, he was spinning a web that would draw in every willing participant. The question was, what Ds would play or who would run free?

He motioned me to come to him. The caftan-wearing auctioneer squeezed Lottie’s bottom. She squeaked and hopped a little. Quietly I was told to take the two male slaves to the other side bring the double bed to the middle of the room, placing the casters and their wooden blocks. Ensure the four-point restraints were easily accessible and that a clean satin sheet was placed over the waterproof covering. I was to put a black satin scarf, a hair elastic, massage oil, lube, 2 sizes of condoms and an assortment of arousal items on the folded table draped with a heavy carpet. I took the two male slaves by their lead and escorted them to the other side. I undid their leads and gave them a set of instructions. Leaving them to their own devices, I went up to the fridge and grabbed a case of water. Without prompting, I grabbed a tray of ice, a small bowl, and a clean dish towel as well. The ice was because I wanted the opportunity to torture and pleasure those beautiful blush nipples. The mere thought of tracing her areola with the ice followed by my warm, soft tongue encircling her nipple as it rose made me blush. I envisioned her in my mouth and sucked wantonly. The vision of her drawing away from the cold and then arching upwards silently asking for more as the ice melted away and my hot mouth feasted on her luscious mound. I longed to have her for myself to open her wide and taste her sweetness. To let my tongue moisten and massage her sex, sucking her hard clit into my mouth and wildly flicking her to orgasm with my tongue. The mere thought of it made my nipples hard, and my cunt twitch.

Adjusting my clothing and taking a moment to bring myself back, I went back to the basement and distributed the water to everyone. Our host had explained that the same rules applied as always. Safe, sane, and consensual whether it’s a party of 1 or 10, everyone is safe, everyone is trusted, and no one crosses the line. This was an experienced group of BDSM aficionados; so, I wasn’t too worried about things going wrong. Everyone except Lotte was hydrating and nibbling on snacks. In my absence, a small stool was placed near the auctioneer. He was holding the black scarf in his hand.

“Lotti has asked that no one speak, that this be a completely tactile experience and what loti wants, Lotti gets. I’m going to blindfold our voluptuous treat. Each of you will use hand signals to let me know your bid. Remember, you are not bidding for exclusive access but to share in the pleasure. There will be no talking, but there can be utterances of fun and divine ecstasy that lift your senses and engage your thoughts. What do you want to do to help this woman fall into herself to experience freedom like only we can offer. No judgement, no reprisal, just fucking great sex.

Lotte sat blindfolded on the stool with nobody touching her. The house-made itself known with the blowing of the furnace and the creaking of the walls. I momentarily closed my eyes to try and imagine what it felt like to be naked, blindfolded and surrounded by a group of strangers. I played with almost every member of this club and thought nothing of stripping and joining in the fun. The slaves stood together between the Doms and me. I couldn’t help but wonder if the masters got more joy from controlling someone from afar or if they wanted the salt of her skin in their tongues. I had never seen an auction night be so orderly, civilized, and incredibly sensual now build towards a potential orgy. Every other time this group had played together by the 2nd or definitely the third slave, the entire room would be actively playing. Those who had not bid Would toss money at the auctioneer and allow for a free for. Often times padded sawhorses held a girl or two readies to suck and be fucked. Without fail, at least one man would be turned into a pet or a Sissy and at the side of one of the Doms for the night. The rules of no booze and safe words were always present, but it was just wilder than this. This pace and control built the intensity. Everyone was still enticed to play and fantasize right to the very end of the night. No one wanted to go home early from this final act. The bidding head finished, and Lotte was satisfied with the amount she had raised. I was told to record $2200 in the book but with no specific name next to it.

All we’re welcome to play as they saw fit. I jotted the information down and placed the book on its’ shelf. Several people were undressing. I stepped forward and raised my hand, waiting to have Lottie’s hand put into mine. I brought her close to me. My arm around her back, hoping to make her feel protected. I steadied her as we walked towards the bed. I whispered instructions. I directed her to the center of the bed, secured her blindfold, and placed both her hands and ankles in the four-point restraints. I kissed her on the forehead and told her she was a very good girl. I resisted the urge to nip at her erect nipples as she maneuvered herself into a comfortable position.

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