A Golden Question

As the year winds to a close, there are some things that stick out in my mind. One of them is the purported “golden showers” scene with Donald Trump and some Russians. Whether true or not, piss play has gone main stream in at least this one area. Since I cover all things “kink” for kinkweekly.com, this leads me to a question I received via email, which read:

“My Master wants me to drink his urine. He says that if I do, he will never doubt me. I didn’t think I’d given him reason to doubt me in the first place. Is this request normal? Is drinking urine harmful?”

Negotiations

In the first part of your question, you say that if you drink urine he will “never doubt you.” I think the question of doubt is a bigger issue than giving in to one specific demand. If he is pressuring you — by saying he will “never doubt you again” — to overcome a hard limit, he is not being very Masterly. (On the other hand, if you had told him drinking urine was a soft limit, he might rightly have a point. For by refusing to do so, you have made him question whether you were truthful in your negotiations.)

I cannot over-emphasize how important negotiations are when you start a Master/slave or Mistress/slave relationship. What is “normal” for one couple can be “out of bounds” for another. Serious misunderstandings can result from sloppy – or worse, a lack of – negotiations.

One of the romantic fantasies in D/s is the concept of sacrifice. In the famous “Story of O”, which inspired many of us, the slave shows her devotion to her Master by doing unusual sexual acts for him. I am sure “O” would never have listed any of these acts as hard limits. And while the excitement that both “O” and her Master get comes from the extremes of his demands and her accession to them, he would never have had to use “I will never doubt you again” as a way to get her to obey him.   

Is It a Hard Limit?

Drinking piss from your Master can be overwhelmingly erotic in the “O” tradition.  And it can demonstrate your willingness to please him and do things for him and only for him.  If it is not a hard limit of yours, once the health issues are settled to your satisfaction, you should do it without question. He should have no need to cajole you into it.

On the other hand, if it is a hard limit of yours, or you two did not negotiate this beforehand, then you must tell him now. He must be made aware it is a hard limit of yours. And he should act accordingly.

Many people list public humiliation as a hard limit. As the relationship evolves, the slave might be more receptive to a public degradation demand. Similarly, your Master should talk about hard limits from time to time as the relationship grows. Then he will know when the time is right to ask you. But changing hard limits cannot be as inelegant as saying “do it and I will never doubt you again.”

Is It Safe to Drink Urine?

As to the second part of your question, the safety issue, there is relatively little danger in water sports. Now what is “relatively little danger” you ask? That is debatable. But water sports do not, by definition, present the physical safety risk that breath play does. Or knife play. Or fire play.

But piss play is still a very extreme form of BDSM play; there can be serious elements of humiliation and other serious psychological aspects involved. Thus, as with all other play, it must be consensual. And the sub must have a safe word if he/she decides the play is too much to take – whether physically or mentally.

Since you say you never gave him reason to doubt you, your Master seems to be mixing arenas, so to speak. Trust is trust. Pushing a slave’s limits is part of it but only a small part. I would sit down and “re-negotiate” limits so you are both aware of where you stand. As I always point out, communication is the key to all D/s relationships

By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.