Ask Baadmaster

As 2020 begins, I would like to wish all of the family – from the staff to our readers and followers — a Happy New Year and trust that 2020 will be your best year ever.

Even though we now look at 2019 in the rear view mirror, tradition demands that I offer some resolutions for 2020 – and no clickbait! Besides, even if these are technically a few days late, they are great ideas to keep your BDSM life fresh.

These are just suggestions; obviously, you should pick those that you think would work for you. Or, you could use them as a jumping-off point for some unique resolutions of your own.

Well, here goes!

  1. Resolve to try a new BDSM scene regularly.
  2. Resolve to buy a new BDSM toy once a month.
  3. If you are a Dom/me, resolve to make your slave write a diary – whether regularly or only for a scene.
  4. If you are a Dom/me, resolve to learn a new BDSM technique every other month.
  5. If you are a submissive, resolve to learn how to better communicate with your Dominant. 
  6. Resolve to make regular playtime in spite of work and other demands on your life.
  7. Resolve to read your slave contract regularly if you have one.
  8. If you do not have a slave contract, resolve to make one.
  9. If you are the Dom/me, resolve to push your sub’s limits from time-to-time.
  10. If you are the Dom/me, resolve to listen to your submissive better.
  11.  Resolve to go to a BDSM play party at a local dungeon.
  12.  If you are the Dominant, resolve to ask your submissive to list his/her favorite BDSM activities and try to incorporate them into your play.   (This is one long resolution!)
  13.  If you are the Dom/me, resolve to be a better one.
  14.  If you are the sub, resolve to be a better sub.
  15.  Resolve to listen to your partner more effectively.
  16.  Resolve to discuss what you liked and what you did not like about your BDSM relationship in the last year. No punishment, no protocol – just honest discussion.
  17.  If you are a Dom/me, resolve to examine any bad decisions you made last year objectively
  18.  Resolve not to repeat mistakes. (A good one!)
  19.  Resolve to eliminate one habit your partner hates – such as smoking.
  20.  Resolve to keep at least one of your resolutions!
  21.  Resolve to read at least one book about BDSM.   (With Amazon, this is too easy!
  22.  Resolve to discuss D/s deeply with a fellow lifstyler.
  23.  Resolve to raise the spiritual level of your D/s relationship.

hese new resolutions are more about the dynamics of D/s than about play. You can use them or adapt them as you see fit. But, to grow your D/s relationship you should address all aspects of BDSM – from the nuts and bolts of play to the more esoteric and spiritual aspects of D/s. The more you understand about D/s, the better your relationships will be.

One of my BDSM resolutions will be #1: “I resolve to read more books about BDSM.”

However you approach it, I think that just resolving to be more sensitive to the D/s aspects of your life will make for a great year.



  1. Tearandnails says:

    Very important to set obtainable and measurable goals for oneself-especially in terms of kink and BDSM

  2. Could not agree more!

  3. nice list!

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