With the popularity of FLR (female led relationships), Fem Dommes and male submission, I would be remiss — even if I am not in one – to ignore the following question. Obviously, I am not an expert; but I can offer some broad suggestions that can ease this questioner’s entry into the world of CBT — Cock and Ball Torture.
Reader: I’ve heard so much about CBT, but am nervous about injuring my partner’s cock or balls. How do you recommend I proceed?
Baadmaster: First off, CBT, even though it has the word “torture” in its title, does not have to be truly torturous. It ranges all the way from light pain to, duh, torture! It is, as with all BDSM practices, whatever you make it. As a beginner, whenever you are doing a BDSM scene that entails pain, avoiding injury is one of the prime directives. The cock and balls have ultra-sensitive pain centers for a very important reason – they are integral to our species’ survival (Darwin 101) and pain is the warning light that there is danger of injury. The correlation between pain and injury is thus significant when dealing with this area of the body. And the genitals are one area you simply don’t want to permanently injure. (This might not be as true for flogging on the butt. You can really flail away with a lot of pain here before you start to cause serious or permanent injury.) Although causing pain can be one of the objectives in BDSM scening, a good Dominant has the ability of administering pain while keeping on the safe side of the injury line. This can be hard to learn when dealing with CBT – with its extreme pain and potential for injury — for the very first time.
As you are new to CBT, here is a two-part system that is both safe and fun. The first part is to agree on safe words and safe signals. Second, make a list of about a dozen CBT scenes that you would like to attempt, intrigue you or turn you on. Here, by way of example, is what might be a typical list. Your list will likely be much different.
- Crushing the male’s testicles under high heels.
- Using a leather ball ring to stretch the balls.
- Adding weights to the leather ball ring.
- Clothespins/mouse traps on the scrotum.
- Rope bondage — tying up the balls.
- Rope bondage – tying up the shaft
- Needle play.
- Using a “cock cage” on the penis shaft.
- Using a “crusher” on the balls. Ouch!
- Wax play.
- Ice play.
- Abrasion play.
Now, here is the important part. Rate these activities in terms of ease of learning and relative safety. Let’s get specific. In this list, I would say number eleven, ice play, is the easiest to learn and the least dangerous. Start here. Use ice on a bound submissive’s scrotum. Try it for various periods of times. Become experienced in ice play; then move on to the next CBT scene. I would say that number four – clothespins — are the next in our reverse safety order. Clothespins and/or mousetraps, although they look formidable, are really quite benign tools, in terms of danger – especially when compared to other tools of torture in the BDSM arsenal. Clothespins can be applied gently; you can find wooden ones, which do not snap all that tightly; you control their ferocity by the total of clothespins used in the scene. And mousetraps might look incredibly sadistic — but they are rarely fatal! But still observe those safe words! (Redundant am I?)
Using this system, you can go step-by-step through your list and learn while you practice each one. As with any other new practice in the dungeon, bedroom or tree house, it is best to work yourself up gradually in terms of difficulty and safety. And, even in a tree house, always play safe!
I might add that, with a reasonable investment, you and your partner can find a reputable Pro Domme who is experienced in the art of CBT. (In Los Angeles, there are a number of experienced Pro Dommes at Sanctuary. https://sanctuarylax.com ) And in most cities there are dungeons who can recommend a capable Pro Domme. You can also find a skilled Pro Domme on the Internet; but you must be careful in choosing one in this manner. In either case, having a hands-on teacher can often be the best approach. It could very well be money well spent.
About the Author
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.