Reader: I am a male Dom. My female slave and I have been discussing chastity belts for a while now, but do not know where to begin. Do you have any suggestions?
I can understand your frustration. Lately the hot trend has been female Dommes and their chaste male slave(s). But that does not mean female chastity is any less exciting. Chastity, in general, is inching closer to mainstream. There is even a discussion site, chastitymansion.com, where you can interact with like minded people. But let’s get to your specific question; I will also address the far more popular male chastity in the second half of my answer — for our readers who are thinking of a male chastity adventure.
Control. Speaking as a male Dom, the hottest thing about BDSM is definitely control. To me, there is nothing more exciting than knowing a female submissive is totally (well almost; there ARE limits) under my control. And controlling her sexuality is awesome. The use of any device which gives the Dominant control of a submissive’s sexuality is to me the height of D/s play. Enter the legendary chastity belt!
Chastity belts have been around for centuries. Used during the Middle Ages (although the popularity of their use has been exaggerated), their main purpose was not sexual arousal. No role-playing here. It was to keep the Baron’s (not an online Baron) wife faithful while he was away on some war or crusade. I guess lock picking was a useful skill to have back then, albeit a risky one. Until the modern era, they were big, bulky leather and metal affairs. With big locks. Now they are made with light weight alloys, plastic and leather; but they are still not very comfortable.
Once you get into chastity belt play, there are some questions that have to be answered. Is this just role-play – such as wearing the chastity belt before a BDSM play party and then removing it during or afterwards – or is it a 24/7 lifestyle arrangement? Or something in between.
If it is just a short-term play proposition, the comfort aspect is far less critical. Female chastity belts are expensive (one-hundred and fifty to two hundred and fifty dollars is typical; custom ones even more so.) Thus, I recommend an Internet-ordered chastity belt if it is solely for use at play parties and the like. They are easily found by doing a google search for, duh, female chastity belts. But if the female slave is required to wear it for an extended length of time, including activities such as driving or typing at a computer, a custom-made belt would be preferable. Whatever chastity belt route you go, be prepared for some discomfort. The basic design, whether custom made or off the rack, is not built for comfort. So when you commit to using this long term, it will not feel like a Victoria’s Secret thong.
While on the subject of female chastity, the belt is not the only way to go. Labial ring piercings can be locked together to accomplish basically the same goal – with a greater degree of comfort. A small, lightweight lock can fasten two rings together and cannot be readily opened. It interferes with bodily functions less than a chastity belt and, to me, has some esthetic advantages. It also offers the same protocols that female Dommes/chaste males use – the Master as key holder (or KH in the parlance). Plus, if you lose the key, the rings can be clipped. A duplicate key is still the way to go, just in case…
When it comes to male chastity cock cages, technology is the word. The design of these devices is not as traditional and limiting as the female ones. Although high-tech and designed by some very creative minds, they still are no walk in the park. Keeping a cock in what is basically a cage entails pain and discomfort — especially when aroused, which is as it should be. But, when properly fit, it can be gotten used to for 24/7 use.
Here is one male’s review of the “grand-daddy” of popular male chastity cages, the CB-2000. “The testicles themselves are spread to either side and held in a very exposed position. In essence, the CB-2000 operates as a rigid, punitive ball spreader. The balls make constant contact with whatever form of underwear is worn, adding to the sense of sexual arousal and frustration. In my case, the pressure of the front and rear rings on the ball sac is significant and we are monitoring for bruising.” Just a few years ago, the CB-2000 was virtually the only game in town, now there are stainless steel cages, cages with urethral plugs, spiked cages, etc.
Thus when it comes to chastity in general, you are not alone. I hope this helps you take the next step!
About the Author
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.