Read part one here.
Let’s start with a BDSM riddle: “A Master asks his slave to spank him. Does this change the D/s dynamic?”
The answer, at least to this observer, is that it likely won’t. Although the slave might not have signed on to be a pain-giver, he/she will probably grin and “just do it.”
In this brave new world of gender – and even play – fluidity, it is likely that this will not harm a solid M/s relationship. And this will enable Doms to partake in BDSM activities that have usually been reserved for bottoms. If there is a solid M/s dynamic, a relatively minor request such as “spank me” should not harm a good relationship. Master stays Master, slave – even if he/she doesn’t like spanking the Master – remains slave. (One should, however, discuss this beforehand and find out if being a spanker is a hard limit.)
But what if the Master wants to partake in more extreme activities that have traditionally been reserved for slaves or submissives? One such area is chastity. As anyone who has abstained from sex knows, orgasms after “time off” can be extremely pleasurable. In last week’s “Chastity For Everyone Part I,” I postulated in that the reason chastity play is gaining popularity – with many subs paying Pro-Dommes substantial fees to experience it – is because it is an orgasm magnifier; sex is a supremely powerful motivator. After all, we are hedonists and most lifestylers are constantly trying to find new and exciting ways to unleash a super orgasm. (For the purposes of this article, I will not cover the mental aspects of chastity play, such as humiliation.)
While asking a submissive to spank the Master is no big deal in the larger scheme of things, requesting your slave to “put this cock cage on me” would be a bridge too far for most Masters and slaves. Since the title of this article is “Chastity For Everyone,” how do we enable the Master to experience the extreme pleasure of chastity without his brain shorting out?
The answer, surprisingly, lies in the “Coors Light” principle. Herein, you sacrifice some taste for a less caloric beverage. A compromise. Realistically, true chastity play, especially one with humiliation and other verbal aspects mixed in, only works for slaves and submissives. Masters and Mistresses will simply miss out on full blown, extreme chastity play. But that is much the same as missing out on a Rolls Royce. Likely, I will not own one. But that does not mean I cannot enjoy a Lexus. Thus, to approximate some of the “super orgasmic” aspects of chastity play, the Master can design a “Chastity Light” scenario. (Of course, we are discussing those M/s unions where sex is an integral part.)
Obviously, the Master can devise “Chastity Light” play any way he desires. The easiest and most effective way is to avoid having sex with your slave for an extended period of time. You can do all the other BDSM scenes – even allowing your slave to cum with, say, a Hitachi. But whatever your natural point of self-abstinence and getting terminally horny is, go way past it. As the Master, you can push the envelope to whatever level you feel most comfortable with. After all, the beauty of this approach is that the Master makes the rules – even for self-chastity.
This is uncharted territory – and just one way to plan an adventure into chastity play for the Dom. The only limits are the hard limits of your slave and the limits of your imagination.
But experimenting with new and exciting play concepts is one of the best aspects of being in the BDSM world!
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.