On first glance, this might seem a question that is way out of my field of expertise. But on closer examination, it is actually in my wheelhouse. And with the current acceptance of gender fluidity, it might be an important question to attempt to answer. Well, here goes:
Reader: I’m transgender and identify as a Domme, and have been contemplating hypnosis as a way of deepening my femininity. But can a Domme submit herself to the power of a hypnotist without becoming a sub? And would it deepen my femininity anyway? Locating and affording this service is also an issue. Please advise me!
As I am a certified clinical hypnotherapist, licensed to practice in California, let me first clear up some misconceptions about hypnosis before I get to your question. Contrary to myth, hypnosis only works when the subject wants to do what the hypnotist suggests. For example, at the beginning of a session, the hypnotherapist usually asks the subject to close his/her eyes, fold her hands and then stand on her head. (This is called “pre-induction” for the students among you.) Typically, the subject complies with the first two requests but refuses to perform the third. Why? Because the subject will only do things she really wants to do. And she didn’t want to stand on her head. The subject who quacks like a duck during a stage hypnotist’s show does so because he/she really wants the attention. Ask that same person to rob a bank and he/she will snap out of hypnosis or simply refuse. That’s why “quitting smoking with hypnosis” does not work for everyone. There are people who, for whatever reason, do not truly want to stop smoking. For them, hypnosis is useless and will not work.
Let us extrapolate this information to answer one part of your question. If you do not truly desire to be a submissive, you cannot be hypnotized into becoming one — any more than you can be hypnotized into becoming a bank robber. So your worry about becoming a submissive is unfounded.
The bigger problem you might encounter is that your Domme side might prevent you from being hypnotized. Part of the process of hypnosis is giving mental control over to your hypnotist. If you always need to be in control, you could be in that significant percentage of people who simply cannot be hypnotized. There are “suggestibility tests” that a skilled hypnotherapist will immediately perform on you that will determine how good a subject you will be – before you spend a lot of time or money on any sessions. Thus, if you cannot be hypnotized, you will know it pretty fast.
Assuming that you are a good subject, a professional can contribute to deepening your femininity. As we all have both masculine and feminine elements within us, hypnosis can help bring out a feminine side of you that might be buried in your mind. In addition, since you are a transgender, your desire level to bring out your feminine side would appear very high.
I have seen – in hypnosis stage shows – heterosexual men in hypnosis act incredibly feminine. (The suggestion, “Act like Marilyn Monroe,” can produce amazing stage results!) If this can be brought out in straight men, imagine what might happen with someone who is a cross-dresser! The results could be quite extraordinary. I personally am not familiar with using hypnosis for this purpose, but it would appear to have incredible potential.
The only down side is that you should not expect instant miracles from hypnosis. It tends to work incrementally. A hypnotherapist cannot simply give a subject a suggestion to “become more feminine” and watch him become a goddess. This is behavior modification we are talking about, which takes time and a skillful practitioner to accomplish.
The best way to find such a practitioner is to search for a member of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis at their website, www.asch.net.
As to cost, I caution against bargain-basement hypnotherapy. Stick with members of the aforementioned society. Remember, it is your brain you are dealing with. Last I looked, you only have one of them!
About the Author
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.