Comedian Steven Wright tells a story where, at 4 A.M., he goes to a diner that says, “Open 24 Hours” It was closed. The next day he asks the owner, “Aren’t you open 24 hours?” The owner replies, “Yeah, we are…but not in a row!”
There are many takes on the 24/7 Master/slave subject, but I personally believe you can be 24/7…but it doesn’t have to be “in a row.” (Note: 24/7 should not be confused with High Protocol relationships. We will cover Protocols – High, Medium and Low — in a future Kink Weekly edition.)
I know some couples in linear “in a row” 24/7 Master/slave relationships; but most Master/slave relationships are not of this variety. In fact, with real world concerns such as jobs and kids, this type of linear 24/7 Master/slave relationship is almost impossible — except for the few who are willing to make the demanding commitment that this type of relationship requires. Keeping these factors in mind, I have come up with a working definition that seems to cover all the bases.
“24/7 Master/slave is a mental/physical state of non-stop ownership.”
This definition explains why even non-live-in 24/7 Master/slave unions can be every bit as powerful their 24/7 live-in counterparts. My personal belief is that one can be owned 24/7, much like one can be married 24/7 — the marriage doesn’t end when you leave each other’s presence. But in the BDSM world there are many techniques that can be used to ensure the 24/7 dynamic stays strong – even when separated.
For example, in a collared relationship, the actual collar is a constant reminder of the slave’s submission. Worn at all times, it serves as a constant reminder that the slave is connected and owned by the Master – twenty-four hours, seven days a week. The collar has its spiritual component; it symbolizes the Master touching the slave’s neck at all times. It is, to almost all of us, a lot more than just a vanilla necklace. It might be said that the slave collar is the single biggest symbol that connects the slave to the Master/Mistress at all times.
But, there are other techniques that can keep the D/s dynamic intact when the two are apart. For example, I know a slave who wears ankle cuffs under her pants when she is in the business world. Many Dom/mes make their slaves wear some sexual device – such as a butt plug – while they are apart. This works – but it is usually not practical for a slave who has a desk job. LOL!
Luckily, there are new technologies that enable those in non-linear Master/slave relationships to maintain, and even add to, their 24/7 dynamic.
With the emergence of the smart phone, Master/slave relationships have a new ally. With the clever use of “smart phone-as-protocol,” one can easily uphold the Master/slave hierarchy at all times. For example, the slave can be required to call in when she arrives at work and say an affirmation. It can be one brief sentence (“Sir/Madame, I am your slave”) or even a picture; this can reinforce the both the Dom/me and slave’s consciousness of their respective roles. Smart phone based protocols can duplicate in-person rituals of a Master/slave relationship. 24/7 is a bit easier now than it was in the pay phone era. (“Slave, keep a roll of quarters on you at all times!)
I know a Master who calls his slave during her lunch hour and gives her a small task to perform. It might be very minor – such as her meditating for a minute or two. But, it does strengthen their Master/slave hierarchy in a truly innovative way. Likely the next generation of communication devices will open up even newer ways to extend the range of D/s for those in “24/7 but not in a row” relationships.
But does eliminating linearity as a requirement make it easy to be a 24/7 slave? Of course not. To be a slave, 24/7 or otherwise, requires trust, devotion and the need to serve one’s Master or Mistress. These are qualities that must be cultivated – whether it is 24/7, 5/3 or even long distance.
BDSM is constantly evolving. There cannot be one right way to do it. If you use a rigid definition of 24/7 Master/slave, you are excluding many couples who might have very potent power exchange dynamics. The strength of a slave’s submission, for example, is not necessarily proportional to the amount of hours per week spent in serving his/her Master/Mistress. I think it is, however, relative to the quality of the submission and the strength of the connection between the two – whether by cell phone, telepathy or spirit – during the time they are apart.
So, to those of you who want to own or be a 24/7 slave, this article might make you less scared to attempt it. Keep in mind, that when you wear your Master’s slave collar, you wear it 24/7. You are owned 24/7. Even if not in a row! Tell us what you think in the comments.
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.