Before you read this article, I suggest (or, in a more Domly way, insist) that you read last week’s kinkweekly.com prequel, “High Protocol, Part One.” To quickly recap. High protocol Master/slave relationships are not for everyone; they are, in fact, quite rare. And, in my opinion, they are not, in and of themselves, any higher on the BDSM food chain than any other style BDSM union; you don’t get BDSM “props” for being a high-protocol Dom or sub. High protocol is not a goal; you don’t progress from low to high protocol. It is not like going from junior to senior in high school; high protocol is simply another type of D/s relationship.
For most couples, high protocol works best for short periods of time, as in a scene or even for weekends; taking it 24/7 is usually far too energy-draining to be a way of life in our world of jobs, stress and kids. High protocol, 24/7 style, is only for those who truly crave and need it – for both the Dom and the sub alike. (It will likely fail if one is really into it and one is not.)
That said, we will attempt to list the classic (and even mythical!) high D/s protocols. Thus, you can pick and choose those protocols you like – even if you are in a low protocol relationship. As the saying goes, “Different BDSM strokes for different folks.” (Funny how the word “strokes” works so well in this paraphrased axiom.) So, without further adieu, here is the list.
1. You must always address Master as Master, Sir or some other designated title, and do so in every sentence.
2. Upon returning from work, slave must kneel and greet Master in ritual designated by Master. If Master is out and returns home, slave still performs the greeting ritual.
3. Slave must be aware of the position training and will be expected to perform them at any time. (Note: Position training – teaching the submissive to assume a set of kneeling or standing poses, in response to the Master’s voice commands.)
4. A slave is always naked (or some designated dress) in Master’s House.
5. You must ask permission to leave the room, or use the bathroom.
6. You may not sit on the furniture without permission.
7. You must respectfully ask permission to speak.
8. If slave needs to ask questions, he/she must ask permission to speak, as in, “Sir, I have a question,” or, “May I speak freely, Sir?”
9. Whenever you have no duties to perform, or need instruction, you assume the kneeling position at your Master’s feet and wait quietly for his attention.
10. Arms are never allowed to be crossed over the body when in the presence of the Master unless it is his/her request.
11. You may not have an orgasm without permission, and may only play with yourself with permission.
12. When you make a mistake or misbehave, you may not wait until Master notices, but must immediately inform Him and gracefully accept correction.
13. You may not interrupt your Master except in an emergency.
14. The slave must prepare body for bed by bathing and then preparing the bed for the dominant.
15. Slave must present his/her body for a nightly inspection.
16. Slave must kneel and ask permission to enter the Master’s bed
17. When you are in Master’s House, you may eat and drink only from Master’s hand.
18. The submissive must learn how to serve coffee, tea or other drinks in a serving ritual specified by the Master.
19. Upon a signal from Master, the slave presents himself/herself in a manner specified by the Master for the preliminaries of sexual intimacy.
1. A slave is not permitted to draw undue attention by excessive body movements such as tossing the head or hair, shifting positions while kneeling, moving hands or feet or, in general, doing anything that is distracting.
2. All movements are expected to be as graceful as possible or as trained by Master.
3. Lips are to be kept slightly parted and relaxed.
4. The back is always kept straight.
5. Whenever the slave is using your hands, he/she must keep them behind his/her back; when standing still, legs are parted. This is to be done unobtrusively – don’t alarm the vanilla world.
6. You walk slightly behind Master.
7. Slave does not make eye contact with any Dominant other than their Master.
8. You wait for his attention to speak.
9. In a restaurant, Master orders your meals.
10. You must discreetly ask permission to begin eating, and you may never start eating until your Master does.
11. You address Him as Sir whenever there are no other vanilla people around.
12. When having dinner with other lifestylers, slave will serve Master and guests as taught, then clear the table and serve coffee, tea or dessert as instructed. Afterward, slave sits on the floor at his feet.
As I have stated many times, pick and choose those listed protocols you want discard the rest. Or, invent your own or use some that have been omitted. For example, I use less than half of the above protocols in my relationship. So, my best advice is to use those that work for you and eliminate those that don’t.
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.
Peggy O says
I wish you had made this gender neutral. Not all Masters are male gendered. While I know that folks will say that the information presented applies to all genders (which it does), having language be inclusive makes it easier for readers to relate it to their own situations. Otherwise, great stuff.
i do love these suggestions for Protocol and rules. Some great food for thought & can be adapted to lots of Lifestyle partnerships. Fun stuff!!
thanks for private vs public/ i hate it when people go overboard in public, forcing their kink on people.