Although New Years Eve is a couple of weeks away, it creeps up on you faster than a Ninja on speed. I remember when Prince was singing about 1999, I thought 2000 would never come. I was so wrong. Soon it will be 2018. Thus I will submit my usual kinkweekly.com New Years Resolutions a little early.
I will skip the ones that everyone makes and usually ignore – to go to the gym, to lose ten pounds and to eat healthier. Instead I will offer three BDSM-related resolutions, which will give you some ideas to keep your play sharp and your relationships fresh.
Resolved: to respect tradition. In this fast-paced world, it is sometimes tempting to cut corners and forget traditions. For example, I have always been a proponent of a “go slow” approach with respect to collaring. Although I don’t believe you must literally follow the three stage (consideration, training and formal) Old Guard collaring sequence, one should not be hasty where collaring is concerned. A number of years ago, I tried rushing the sequence and the results were not good. This is not to say that, were I to have gone slow, things would have worked out. But at least I would not have violated some principles that I have stood for all my BDSM life. They say confession is good for the soul; but this admission is more than that. I might help others with this cautionary tale. The reason the collaring process has stood the test of time is that the lifestylers who have appreciated it have found it to be a rock solid system. Those who use Velcro collars most often find that “castles made of sand fall into the sea, eventually.” My first BDSM New Year’s resolution is to respect our traditions – and collaring is only one institution being ignored in our post-Fifty Shades world. Respect and promote as many BDSM customs as you can before all have disappeared.
Resolved: to learn three new forms of BDSM play. There is a tendency for all of us to get complacent. We have a bag of tricks that serves us well and we get comfortable with them. Problems arise when we get bored or, even worse, walk through our play sessions on autopilot. There is nothing like a new technique to get our juices flowing again. Just peruse the BDSM play articles right here on kinkweekly.com and you will find many areas of play that you might have overlooked. Expanding your fields of expertise is always a good way to keep your play fresh and exciting.
Resolved: to buy a new BDSM toy once a month. Although most resolutions are easy to let slide, this one is simple enough to uphold. After all, the upside is awesome, yet it requires little effort. After all, isn’t the number one reason New Year’s resolutions fail is because they require too much work? Well this one is a snap. With the Internet, you can buy toys without leaving your home. And, what better way to add excitement to your play than by ordering a new flogger, a new cane or a new insertable for your toy collection on a regular basis? This is one New Year’s resolution that is a surefire hit – and it doesn’t require any sit-ups or starvation!
Usually, most of us ignore our New Year’s resolutions after two or three months. In the case of these BDSM promises, even if you let them slide after a few months, you have a bunch of new toys and some fresh techniques. And, if you adopt my personal resolution to respect BDSM traditions, how can you lose?
In this New Year, maybe you won’t lose ten pounds – but if you follow my lead you will improve both your BDSM play and your relationship!
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.