Most D/s articles on the Internet talk about punishment in terms of spanking. “If you do not obey, I will spank you.” But how does this work if the submissive or slave actually likes to be spanked? Here we will catalogue punishments you can actually use in the real time training of a slave/submissive. This will be one of my longest articles. But I wanted to start the year off with as complete a guide to punishment as possible.
First, some basic punishment principles. It is always important to match the punishment to the infraction. Let the punishment fit the crime. When a minor infraction gets a major punishment, you are sending the wrong signal. Try to administer punishment as closely as possible to the time of the violation. In this way the sub/slave will not only be properly and predictably disciplined, but will also respect his/her Dominant. Never let a punishment cause injury. Never, ever use a hard limit as a punishment. And, finally, always start the punishment with a lecture/explanation. (This will be more fully explained in Part II).
There is a debate as to whether punishment sessions should have safe words. In the year 2018, with all these winds of social change, I would say ALWAYS have a safe word for every session. Period.
There is also the question as to whether punishment is necessary in the training of a sub/slave at all. There is no rule that says there must be punishment in a Master/slave or Dom/sub relationship. I can envision a slave so instinctual he/she needs no punishment to serve flawlessly. Surely some subs/slaves can respond perfectly to praise or disapproval alone. Different (flogger) strokes for different folks. But as The Punishment Manual is intended only for those Dom/mes who use punishment as an integral part of their training, the point is moot.
There are two sides to the discipline coin – physical punishment and mental punishment. I have found that a balanced combination of both physical and mental punishment, along with praise, to be the most effective way to train a submissive or slave.
What follows are specific punishments that can be used effectively in the training of a sub/slave. I used many of them myself. Here is Part I – the “Physical Punishments” section.
- Find the “butt-beating” implement that your submissive dislikes. If he/she hates the paddle, cane or a particular flogger in your collection, use it. Look no further, you have found the perfect tool of discipline. When your submissive or slave commits an infraction that requires punishment, bring out the paddle or cane (or whatever implement is on the sub’s “un-wish” list) and administer punishment.
But keep out wary eye out for signs that the submissive is actually enjoying the “punishment.” Make sure you do not let the submissive get into subspace. If you see the submissive hitting “space,” stop. And tell the submissive why you are stopping.
Clever “bratty” subs have been known to misbehave in order to get a good beating. This might be fine for role-play or scening, but is counter-productive if you are seriously trying to train a submissive or slave. If this is the case, switch to another form of punishment.
- Hair pulling is a great way to get your point across. Especially when verbal disapproval accompanies this action. A good hair pulling session with a “what did you do wrong” question and response routine is awfully effective.
- A very popular punishment for a mouthy submissive is the age-old one of washing the mouth out with soap. This has worked for the last hundred years and will probably work for a hundred more!
- “Sensory Deprivation” is perhaps the single most “unforgettable” punishment a Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme can mete out. Being tied and left alone – especially when ballgagged and even blindfolded — for a period of time is another punishment the submissive will not soon forget! In this technology era, a camera should be observing the submissive. And the Dom/me should be monitoring the camera on the cell phone at all times for any signs of distress or the safe word.
- “Corporal Punishment” is a combination punishment – it encompasses both the physical and mental side. This corporal punishment “script” can be altered in many ways – but the major point is the question and response during the punishment. For example — “Does sub/slave know why he/she is being punished?” “Yes, Sir/Ma’am. I have shamed Master/Mistress by (reciting offense).” You can incorporate this Q and A technique to just about any physical punishment.
- A variation on the sensory deprivation theme is being kept in a cage. Depending on the submissive’s fears (if it is a hard limit, avoid this as a punishment), this can be the one thing the submissive fears most. Requiring the submissive to eat out of a bowl is another aspect of this punishment that can be quite effective. Again, the objective is to know and understand your submissive or slave. To repeat – if caging, eating out of a bowl or sensory deprivation is a hard limit, this is not a punishment you should ever use.
- There is really no limit on what you can use as punishment. Sometimes play that is enjoyable can be used as punishment when done in a disapproving manner or on another area of the body. For example, wax play on the buttocks might be one of your submissive’s favorite activities. But when applied to the breasts, the sub might hate it. In this case, use it!
These are the types of physical punishments that can be used when training a submissive or a slave. In Part II, I will outline mental punishments that will give you great ideas how to put the “D” in D/s!
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.