This article might be the most important one you will ever read. Hyperbole? Maybe. But with the latest frenzy regarding sexual harassment, we should re-examine our “slave contracts” and try to make them as bulletproof as possible.
(Disclaimer: I am not an attorney; this article was written with the help of a Harvard-educated lawyer. Since laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, use this as a guide, not as a bible and consult an attorney if you have any questions!)
Although “sex on demand” seems quite natural in a Master/slave relationship, in this year of frivolous – and not so frivolous – litigation, there are issues of consent that should concern you. Pushing limits is integral to most D/s relationships – but it is never a Master’s/Mistress’s right, despite being enumerated in a “slave contract.” Even if the slave has agreed that he/she is not allowed to refuse a sexual request, forcing yourself on him/her is rape, and rape is always a crime. BDSM must always remain a consensual practice.
Many in the lifestyle, even as represented in the lame “Fifty Shades,” use “slave contracts” as a way of affirming, codifying and outlining a D/s relationship. Since, legally, one cannot consent to being beaten or even restrained, a slave contract offers scant protection should the bottom decide the Top overstepped his/her bounds and wished to pursue a legal remedy. What to do?
As established by the courts, “No” always means “No” — even in marriage. Thus I recommend that in any slave contract, a “No means No” clause be included. Words such as “stop,” “red” and the like must also be enumerated in the “Slave Contract v. 2017.” This ain’t the 90’s anymore. Let’s get specific.
First, I will present a classic “Slave Contract.” (Obviously, these can be negotiated to the satisfaction of both parties – especially the role and limits of punishment which are not part of this basic sample contract.) At the end of the contract, I will suggest some changes that will make safety and consensuality of this union non-debatable.
Consensual Slave Agreement
Made this __________ day of _________ in the year 20_____, between __________________ hereinafter referred to as slave, and ______________________ hereinafter referred to as Master or Mistress.
Witnesseth: That the said slave, for and in good consideration and in humble appreciation of such care and attention as the said Master may choose to afford the slave, has given, granted and conveyed, and by these Presents does hereby give and convey unto the said Master; All of the slave’s body and each and every part thereof without reservation, every bit of the slave’s will as to all matters and things, and the entirety of the slave’s soul. To have and to hold, all and singular, the above described body, will, soul, and presence, to the Master until such time as the Master determines to the contrary.
The slave does hereby freely and voluntarily agree:
- The slave shall immediately, diligently, and enthusiastically comply with and submit the slave’s full being to all directions or desires of the Master.
- The slave shall offer, at all times, the Master absolute respect, shall address the Master only as “Master” or such other title as the Master shall direct, shall position the slave’s body in a physical position subordinate to the Master whenever possible, and shall speak to or otherwise distract the Master’s attention only when granted explicit permission to so do.
- The slave shall preserve the slave’s body parts for the exclusive use of the Master, which use shall be the sole and exclusive source of the slave’s pleasure, and the slave shall engage in no act of self-gratification nor any physical contact with any other person, except at the express direction of, or permission by, the Master.
And, the slave does hereby irrevocably declare and acknowledge the slave’s everlasting and unconditional dedication to serving the Master to the Master’s full satisfaction.
In Witness Whereof, the slave has hereunto set the slave’s hand, and the Master has deigned to seal these Presents by affixing the Master’s collar around the slave’s neck, on this, the day first above written.
Signed by slave, whose collar was applied and who was delivered unto the Master on the date above-mentioned and in the presence of the below signed Witness or Witnesses.
Here are my suggestions to add to a slave contract:
The slave, at any time, can use the following words to stop all play at any time for any reason: “No” (preferred), “Stop,” or “Red.” (A safe signal should also be agreed to and enumerated.)
5. The slave hereby reaffirms that he/she has entered into this agreement voluntarily and all interactions performed here are completely consensual.
6. The Master/Mistress hereby confirms that the slave is free to leave or abrogate this agreement at any time and for any reason.
These addendums, though not offering ironclad protection, establish that you accept and obey all safety protocols. Yes, there is a bit of mistrust and even wimpiness in adding these clauses – but “I don’t believe in safe words” is a dangerous game to play in the year 2017. Of course, the best way to avoid problems is to stop immediately when the slave says stop! You can call me paranoid, but with the way things are going, why take a chance?
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.
Good points to make and given the current climate, valuable information.
The addendum is definitely a good protection but as you know and stated only goes so far.
To add my two cents to this article I’d like to reiterate the importance of initial negotiations. Know who you’re getting involved in a dynamic with, understand their philosophies and styles. Don’t jump into anything expecting change or compromise.
Good points Mr. Mots. The only thing I can state with complete assurance is that “the era of ‘I don’t believe in safe words’ is over.”
slave sindee says