• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • New to kink?
    • Articles for beginners
  • Contribute
  • BDSM Buying Guide

Kink Weekly

BDSM articles ideas bondage erotica resource

Home » Spanking and Sub-space

Spanking and Sub-space

February 22, 2016 By Baadmaster 4 Comments

Photo by www.viceerotica.com
Photo by www.viceerotica.com

Let’s take a break from serious topics like “Predator Pro-Dommes” and get back to the wonderful aspects of BDSM. “Sub-space” usually tops the list.

For those of you who are new to the lifestyle, sub-space is usually defined as “an exhilarated state that most believe is caused by a rush of endorphins emitted during a BDSM scene.” Often it appears that the submissive is put into a trance. When in this state, the submissive transcends all that is around him/her and cannot even feel the sting of the lash. Many describe it as “flying” and being in “space”; both are common terms for this phenomenon.

To give you an idea of what sub-space is like, here is an actual description of sub-space taken from a slave’s diary.

“I cannot describe the sensation except to say I felt like Lois Lane when she was being carried into space by Superman! I could still hear the noise of Master still hitting me very hard with the flogger, but it didn’t hurt at all — I couldn’t feel anything. If the room were to have caught on fire, my reaction would have been to say “let’s wait for it to rain!” I wasn’t going anywhere and I didn’t want to go anywhere. My mind was spinning but it was level. My body was drifting in one continuous orgasm. I was at one with everything. I was on a super drug but I took no drugs. I was having super sex but I had no sex. I was in a supersonic plane but I was chained to the ground.”

Subspace appears to be an almost addictive pleasure that many submissives revel in. We have heard submissives say they “live for subspace.” Others have said “sub-space is better than sex.” (Is that why there are so many Doms with loyal followings?) This might be excessive hyperbole, but there is no doubt that it is a very pleasurable state to be in.

So, how do we put a submissive into sub-space? How do we achieve the Holy Grail of BDSM? The most common way is by the use of some kind of pain stimulus. This often causes the body to produce an overabundance of endorphins as a reaction to the pain and is, according to most, the cause of this phenomenon.

Which brings us to the subject at hand, spanking? Yes, there are those who spank who give not a thought as to whether it causes sub-space or not. They enjoy spanking for spankings sake. Many just spank a partner’s butt during sex as a show of Dominance, not as a technique for conjuring up sub-space. Or, they use it as a discipline tool in their D/s life. “You’ve been a naughty girl; it is time for your spanking.”

However, many use spanking as the preferred technique to put a submissive into sub-space. For the purposes of this article, we will use a broad definition of spanking that includes the use of any toy, from the flogger to a wooden spoon and just about anything in between, in addition to the hand. Let’s now list our “Top Ten” (why is it always “Top Ten”?) tips that will help you spank the submissive into sub-space in the safest and easiest manner. These suggestions are not for everybody; all Dominants and submissives are different. But, you can pick and choose among them; use those that work for you.

• Tranquility. The easiest way to put a submissive is to spank in a tranquil setting. Some cool scene music (Enigma?) and few distractions are always a good beginning.

• Breathing. Encourage deep, rhythmic breathing in the submissive. This brings oxygen to the brain and also relaxes the body. If the sub is tense, your spanking session might be fun, but sub-space is unlikely to be achieved.

• Pre-talk. Since the receptivity of the submissive is proportional to trust, make sure you reassure your submissive before your scene. Listen to any concerns he/she might have. (Some subs are afraid of sub-space in much the same way as some people are afraid of hypnosis.) Inspiring confidence goes a long way in BDSM.

• Go slowly. It is better to spank lightly for a long period of time than it is to go heavy and hard for a shorter period of time. Of course, every submissive is different. Some go into deep sub-space only when spanked hard. But, if you are starting out, better to go slowly and take your time then go all out immediately. And, at the very least, warm up lightly.

• Discuss limits. Find out the submissive’s hard limits. If you are the submissive, even if not asked, state them loud and clear. Sometimes marking is a hard limit due to personal considerations. Other times, certain parts of the body are off limits – the back, the breasts, etc. (Rarely is the butt off limits!)

• Safe words. Don’t forget to agree on a safe word. (A word, usually “red,” that stops all play.) This might seem obvious; but it still bears repeating.

• Check on your submissive. Do not simply rely on the safe word to see when enough is enough. When in subspace, the submissive rarely feels any pain. Nor is he/she in a position to say the safe word. Check up on her condition regularly. Use you own judgment, not the submissive’s.

• Different toys for different joys. (Trying to be slick are we? LOL.) Each submissive responds differently to different spanking toys. Some can only be put into sub-space by a hand spanking. Others only by the flogger. Still others only by the cane. Some need an alternating combination of all toys. There is no hard and fast rule. Thus, trial and error is the best way to find out exactly what spanking technique puts your submissive into space.

• Dungeon furniture. Sometimes it takes the ole’ adrenaline rush of the dungeon to overcome resistance to sub-space. Or, it might be a piece of dungeon furniture that does the trick. The spanking bench has been a mainstay of dungeons for years with good reason. It works. A trip to your local dungeon might succeed where home play has failed. Of course, there are always other lifestylers there who can give you some tips so a trip to the local dungeon can be more than worth your while.

• Aftercare. Sub-space is a very energy draining experience for the submissive — both emotionally and physically. So when the session is over, it is up to the Dominant to ease his sub “back to Earth” with skill and sensitivity. This is commonly called “Aftercare.”

Spanking is probably the most popular BDSM activity of all. And sub-space can be the most exciting state a submissive can enter. We hope these ten tips can help you combine these two into an incredible experience!

By Baadmaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.

You may also be interested in:

  • Video: All about sub-space
    Video: All about sub-space
  • Taking Space: How Much Is Too Much
    Taking Space: How Much Is Too Much
  • BDSM Head space
    BDSM Head space

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Reddit
  • Email

Tagged With: scene, Spanking, submissive, subspace

Like Kink Weekly? Support us on Patreon!

Become a Patron!

Help keep us online & get epic good karma (and no ads)
Already a supporter? We love you! Visit here to enable ad-free browsing.

Sale – today only

Quality lockable wrist cuffs

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Amber S says

    April 25, 2018 at 1:05 pm

    Im not sure what I am, i like topping, but also being the bottom. Idk but i do loce giving the spanks.

    Reply
  2. Mistress Kit says

    April 5, 2017 at 8:50 am

    Polishing nethercheeks is a favorite at my lair,most sessions begin with a proper spank,it’s a nice way to bond with your subs,especially newbies who find it very comforting and assuring. When I train other dominas I always suggest spanking be mastered first. Splendid writing Sir.

    Reply
  3. phoebe girl says

    February 25, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    Spanking is my absolute most favorite thing! I told my Sir from the beginning of our relationship that daily maintenance spankings are a MUST!

    Reply
    • Pablo says

      March 6, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      I wish I had a lovely play partner who would ask that of me:) !!! Austin ladies, where are you ? You do know it isn’t in your best interest to keep a prospective spanker waiting, now …. don’t you ? My lap awaits your presence, my darling 🙂

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Don’t miss out!

Get an email each week when new editions are online
We won't spam you, and you can
easily unsubscribe at any time

Sale – today only

Bondage kinks coffee mug

Put a smile on your face each morning

Support Kink Weekly on Patreon!

Become a Patron!

Help keep us online and get
epic good karma (and no ads)

Already a supporter? We love you! Visit here to enable ad-free browsing.

Get

Top quality lockable wrist cuffs

Contribute

Want to feature your writing or photography on Kink Weekly? Are you an BDSM/sex expert or professional, and interested in being quoted in an article? Contact us

Archives

sexy blonde Domme with male submissive in straitjacket

Simple Mummification Fun!

By PirateStan Leave a Comment

Learn helpful mummification techniques in this week’s edition!

shibari male submissive bound

Why Excellent Submission Can Be Remarkably Illusive

By Ms. RikaLeave a Comment

Dive deep into submission with Ms. Rika in this week’s edition!

Footer

18 U.S.C. 2257 record keeping compliance statement
Always play
Safe Sane and Consensual

Copyright © 2023 · News Pro On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in