With the June 10th Kink Weekly Launch Party almost here, you can bet there will be spankings galore at the event. So what better time to examine the role of spanking in our lifestyle?
Whenever the subject of spanking is discussed, the question of “how can it be used for discipline when the submissive enjoys it?” invariably comes up. But it is not an issue of either-or; it is both.
Let’s dispose of the obvious – what exactly is spanking? Our kinkweekly dictionary defines “spanking” as follows: “To slap on the buttocks with the open hand, or a short flat object such as a paddle or a hairbrush or any of a number of implements such as crops, canes and floggers. Spanking is used as for both pleasure and punishment, or in a role-play context in BDSM scenes.” Thus, within the definition of spanking, pleasure and punishment co-exist.
First, let’s examine the pleasurable aspects of spanking.
One of the most widespread uses of spanking is as a tool for putting the sub into what is commonly called “sub-space.” For those of you unfamiliar with “sub-space,” it is usually defined as “a state of mind and body that most believe is caused by endorphins emitted during a BDSM scene.” Often, it appears as though the submissive is put into a trance; many describe it as “flying” or being in “space.” When in this state, the submissive typically transcends all that is around him/her and cannot even feel the sting of the spanking implement. (In it, a sub often cannot utter his/her safe word; a Dom/me must be aware of this fact.) Although there are many ways to put a submissive into “sub-space,” continuous spanking over an extended period of time is the most commonly used technique. And, though one might classify the actual strokes as “pain,” the overall experience must be categorized as “pleasure.”
“Sub-space” aside, there are many who simply enjoy spanking as an activity in and of itself, especially in conjunction with bondage or immobilization. Even light spanking – the type of which will not be “subspace inducing” – done in combination with restriction can be quite exciting for the Top and bottom alike.
As you can see, there is a wide array of techniques and equipment – from the ordinary to the exotic — that can be used in a spanking scene. Everything from ropes to chains, from duct tape to saran wrap can be utilized to keep the submissive within the “range of the whip,” to coin a term. The cane, crop, flogger or just the hand can be the implement of choice in a spanking session. The only limit is your imagination!
Spanking is also a popular element in many role-play games. The most common one is the “bad schoolgirl” scenario. (“You’ve been a bad girl and are being kept after school to be spanked!”) Even this “bad schoolgirl” game is just that, a role-play game.
So, how does Dom/me use spanking for punishment when the submissive really likes it?
There are two schools of thought here. The first one is that, since everyone craves approval, the fact that the spanking is being administered due to disapproval changes the way the sub responds to the stimuli. The condemnation factor thus makes the spanking much less pleasurable.
The second school of thought posits that every submissive has a particular implement that he/she despises; that toy would be the implement of choice for punishment and discipline. I have yet to find a submissive who doesn’t have at least one toy that he/she totally hates.
Of course, for those into full-on obedience mode, there is always corporal punishment. Here is a transcript of an actual corporal punishment scene.
The female submissive is tied, face down, across a spanking bench. Her Mistress, crop in hand, questions her.
Mistress: What did you do that displeased me?
submissive: I was disrespectful to another Domme, Mistress.
(Spank)
Mistress: Did you displease me?
submissive: Yes, Mistress.
(Spank)
Mistress: And will you be disrespectful again?
submissive: No, Mistress
(Spank)
Mistress: How did you displease me?
submissive: I was disrespectful to another Domme, Mistress.
(Spank)
Mistress: Do you know how much you displeased me?
submissive: Yes I do, Mistress.
(Spank)
Mistress: Do you like displeasing your Mistress?
submissive: No, Mistress.
(Spank)
Mistress: Are you ashamed of yourself?
submissive: Yes, Mistress
(Spank)
Mistress: What are you ashamed of?
submissive: That is displeased you, Mistress
(Spank)
Mistress: What are you trained to do?
Submissive: To bring you pleasure, Mistress?
(Spank)
Mistress: Did you bring me pleasure?
Submissive: No, Mistress.
(Spank)
Mistress: And why not?
Submissive: Because I dishonored you. Mistress.
(Spank)
Mistress: And how did you dishonor me?
Submissive: I was disrespectful to another Domme, Mistress..
(Spank)
Mistress: What did you do that displeased me?
submissive: I was disrespectful to another Domme, Mistress.
(Spank)
Mistress: Did you displease me?
submissive: Yes, Mistress.
(Spank)
Mistress: And will you be disrespectful again?
submissive: No, Mistress
In conclusion, spanking is both ecstasy and pain, it is both reward and punishment, it is both pleasure and discipline. To put it simply, it is awesome!
By BaadMaster
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.
Dawn Haines says
Im new to the whole spanking seen but my bf is not my Dominate but hes willing to learn how to use spanking as pleasure and discipline Does anyone have any ideas on how we can administer them into our relationship w/out it being a vanilla relationship Any suggestions would be helpful Ty
HardSMac says
I’ve been going back-and-forth about using spanking as a punishment because my subs, slave, and I enjoy it so much. I think this article that a good job of defining the debate as well as methods for dealing with it.
MrMots says
I enjoy spanking and don’t think I could ever use it as a REAL punishment. Playful roleplay yes but not for actual discipline. It’s too enjoyable for me and for me to enjoy it, my bottom needs to enjoy being spanked.