There is a common question in our lifestyle that if a slave enjoys being spanked, how can it also be used as a punishment? Quite confusing, wouldn’t you say? The corollary question is if the Dominant enjoys administering a spanking, how can he/she be objective when deciding when to administer punishment?
There is a view that is being promulgated (I sound so pedantic today, don’t I?) that says the submissive actually reacts differently to a spanking when it is intended for punishment as opposed to when it is intended for pleasure. Thus, when a slave knows there will be a punishment spanking, the mindset is such that he/she can derive scant pleasure from such an event. I am not entirely convinced that this is the case. Because if there is little emphasis on what the submissive did wrong, then this “punishment” can quickly slide into pleasure mode for the submissive. It is this laxity in pre-punishment preparation – the Top just spanks away – that encourages the notorious behavior known as the “bratty sub.” Here the submissive purposely misbehaves in order to get the spanking he/she so wants so badly. One trick here is to spank in an almost corporal manner. Talking to the miscreant submissive while administering the spanking is the key here. Here is a good script to follow while administering a punishment spanking.
“You know why I am spanking you?”
“And why is that”
“I was surly to you in public, Master/Mistress” Et cetera.
Making this spanking experience unpleasant – with the Dom/me making his/her displeasure clear — is critical. Still, the pleasure factor can easily slip in when the physicality of the “punishment” tilts toward the enjoyment end.
The reason I am stressing this, is that many Dom/mes like to spank whenever the slave/submissive misbehaves But most Dom/mes also enjoy spanking for the slave’s enjoyment. For example, spanking to put the submissive into subspace. Thus one must make sure that the two types of spanking have decidedly different effects on the submissive.
As for the Dom/me, there should be differentiation too. You should really not enjoy spanking your slave when you punish him/her. There is an old-school expression parents used when they spanked their kids. “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” This should be applicable in regards to the discipline of a submissive. You should not enjoy it so much that you nitpick your sub’s errors as an excuse to punish him/her. Unless you are just into role-play, having a slave means training your slave; and in training the slave the Master/Mistress must always be fair. Even a sadist must differentiate between punishment spankings and pleasure spankings.
Confusing you say? Let me unconfuse you since I have devised an easy way to differentiate between pleasure and punishment. My system is to be familiar with the effects of each implement. The key here is knowing what implement your slave likes and dislikes and in what order. For example, a former slave of mine positively hated the paddle. She could be put into subspace with the flogger, crop, hand or cane. But the paddle not only will knock her out of subspace in a flash, but it will also have the same effect that light has on Count Dracula. It drove her crazy!!! And not in a good way.
So, in this dynamic, the flogger, crop, hand or cane would be chosen for a fun spanking scene, the paddle would be the perfect instrument for administering punishment. This is, I think, a simple and elegant system for delineating between spanking for punishment and spanking for pleasure.
And since it is a physical system, it is less susceptible to the whims of a mental approach. I offer no guaranties; but give it a try. It just might work for you!
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.