Although it appears the COVID-19 pandemic is winding down, we are still likely to be wearing non-BDSM masks for the foreseeable future. Thus, lacking my two favorite dungeons (Lair de Sade and Sanctuary), I am still wandering around in the ”auxiliary” questions file. Luckily, I found this gem of a question that needed scant revision. And here it is:
Reader: My subbie-girl is the most ticklish person I know… and though it’s something I never considered a fetish before, I’m finding that I really get off when I tickle her. Is this weird? Why do I like it so much? Is it a BDSM activity?
We are KINK weekly, so nothing is weird around here. So, that answers the “is this weird” part of your question. In the vanilla world, “erotic tickling” is quite popular; I have already written a kink weekly article on this subject. With its vanilla roots, is it a fetish? I guess that depends on what the meaning of “is” is. Fetish or not fetish, weird or not weird – tickling works great in our lifestyle – especially in your case.
As I have stated many times, one should always try to match protocols in D/s relationships. A high-protocol Master should look for a high-protocol slave. Similarly, a Dom/me who enjoys tickling should look for a submissive who is ticklish. You might not have searched for such a match, it might be luck that brought her to you, but you found it. Consider yourself very fortunate. After all, what is a tickler without a ticklee?
As to the question of why you like it so much, the “Cracker Jack Principle” applies. If you look on a Cracker Jack box (if there are still any boxes of the stuff available; they are now mostly in bags), its slogan reads, “You like it, it likes you!” Similarly, having, the “most ticklish person you know” as your sub is a “you like it, it likes you” type of situation. It is one thing to perform a scene and have the submissive go through the motions in order to please the Dominant. It is quite another thing when the submissive truly enjoys what the Dominant is doing – which is most common in D/s unions where one is clearly the Dom, the other the submissive. This creates a loop that channels positive energy back to both participants. In your case, tickling fits into this synergistic model.
Erotic tickling is an extension of vanilla play, whereas BDSM tickling (to coin a category) can be integrated into just about any scene. Tickling a submissive can be every bit as effective as flogging or caning her. Or, instead of a straight flogging scene, alternate between flogging and tickling; this will add a new dimension to your play. If you are using hot wax, tickle the submissive in between drippings and you will raise the sensation bar considerably. If you are into role-play, tickling is yet another technique to add to your arsenal. In an interrogation scenario, for example, tickle the submissive instead of beating her. You might get your submissive to give up the information rather quickly!
A “tickle-torture” scene can be as edgy as any. A feather duster can be just as wicked as a crop; a makeup brush can be just as painful as a paddle; a silk cloth can be every bit as sadistic as a cane. One word of caution. Just because tickling doesn’t leave marks or entails great physical risk, one should not forget to take standard precautions. Make sure you have a safe word; be aware of the mental state of the submissive during play. (If your extremely ticklish subbie is in the throws of a serious tickling session, he/she might not be able to utter the safe word – or even give a safe signal. Always keep an eye on her – or have a hard time limit).
Finally, you can always invent new ways to use tickling in your BDSM play. Tickling a blindfolded sub is always fun. Combining tickling and TENS unit play is a great concept I have heard about. Alternating tickling and sensory deprivation is another unique game plan. Tickling goes with just about anything. The only limit, besides the hard ones, is your imagination. Additionally, in this crazy era where down is up and up is down, it is very easy and inexpensive to do a tickle scene. For example – a “tickle interrogation” scene.
Since you have the ideal “tickle-sub,” all you have to do, in the words of the Nike commercials, is “Just do it!”
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.