With the advent of the Internet, and its integration into every aspect of modern life, there is constant debate about whether it is a “Net plus” or a “Net negative.” (Sorry for the pun; I couldn’t resist.) But there can be no doubt that the Net has been great for making people feel they are “not alone” in their fetishes. Thus we are all – from the heavy players to the casual players – aware of chastity play. Surly the pro Dommes have popularized this area of play; but it has always been part of the hidden world of D/s. I have written about it here – but now I will try to codify it and make it more user friendly.
Just as in every type of BDSM play, chastity comes in many versions – in this case I choose to classify it as light, medium and heavy. Kind of like beer! Most Dom/mes I know – even those not into chastity play, per se – have dabbled with having the submissive ask for “permission to cum.” Here, the submissive – when about to orgasm – asks something like, “May I cum, Sir (Ma’am)?” This has the effect of transferring power to the Dom/me. In “chastity light,” as I call this, permission is rarely, if ever, denied. Yet, even in this scenario, you might find this ritual reinforces the Dom/sub hierarchy. You might be amazed at how exciting this simple practice can be. Chastity does not have to be an all-or-nothing proposition.
Light – Denial/Permission
The next step in our chastity journey can be the Dom/me’s actual refusal of permission to cum. This can increase the intensity of the (allowed) orgasm. Orgasm denial is a time-honored sexual amplifier. Done within the context of a Dom/sub relationship, it is an awesome technique. Remember, if you are in a Dom/sub relationship, having your sexuality controlled by your Dom/me may not be too much of a stretch. And, when you are denied orgasms, and then allowed release, you might be astonished at the results.
Medium – Classic Chastity
The next stop on the chastity railroad (right next to the B&D Railroad on the Kinkopoly board) is longer-term or classic chastity. This can be accomplished without chastity devices. Obviously, if you do not like even the lightest orgasm control, read no further; the following chastity scenarios will probably not float your boat. But, if you have not run the other way yet, let’s continue. Chastity play where the Dom/me does not allow orgasm for the entire scene is a great exercise in Dominance and submission. Many submissives love this type of play; this is one of the most popular scenes that Pro Dommes are asked for. Depending on the arrangement, there can be release after the scene…or not. But, there is no doubt that a full-out chastity scene can be very hot for both the Top and bottom.
Heavy – Long Term Chastity
Finally, there is heavy/long term chastity play. This is where a chastity device – a female chastity belt or a male cock cage — is used to physically enforce chastity. And it usually lasts much longer than for just a scene; it can last as long as the consensual partners agree that it lasts for. This is not for everybody, to be sure.
By showing you the scope of chastity play, I hope you now understand that it is not an all-or-nothing proposition. And, you might find yourself open to at least some of the scenarios I have outlined. In the words of James Bond, who — when asked if he would allow a cock cage to be put on him – said, “Never say never!”
After a ten year run as head writer for the legendary bondage.com, and an equally long run as the host of the hit internet show “Baadmaster’s Dungeon,” we are pleased to welcome the one and only Baadmaster to KinkWeekly. His thoughts about all things BDSM will now appear regularly on these pages. From the mental aspects of D/s to the nuts and bolts of S&M play, Baadmaster will cover every facet of this ever expanding lifestyle.