• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About
  • New to kink?
    • Articles for beginners
  • Contribute
  • BDSM Buying Guide

Kink Weekly

BDSM articles ideas bondage erotica resource

Home » Bottom Does Not Equal Housemaid

Bottom Does Not Equal Housemaid

October 13, 2019 By Dame TylerRose. 2 Comments


Last week, I went on a date with a very nice man I met on OKC. Toward the end of our date, he brought up how he’s having difficulty finding a submissive who will clean his house. They’ll come over to play and fuck, but don’t want to clean his house. I commiserated that I couldn’t find a bottom who was willing to come to my end of the subway line and carry my rolling backpack for me. 

I have a bad back, am in constant pain when standing, so having someone pull/carry the bag for me would be a tremendous help. It’s downright exhausting to have to drag the thing up four flights of stairs and through two neighborhoods just to get to the party.

I think it was the last thing he was expecting me to say. His expression was one of astonishment. Probably that I had the audacity to say that I also find myself in the position of not being able to find someone to be of service when we were discussing a possible top/bottom relationship between ourselves.

As a sadomasochist who can be either the top or the bottom, I can easily flow from one end of the spectrum to the other during conversation as it pertains to me. (as per my piece about my Sadomasochism being fluid) 

I think it can be disconcerting for some, who don’t grasp that a person can be a dominant bottom.

The next day, I received a message from him that I’m not what he’s looking for. Okay. Fine. No hard feelings. Maybe we’ll hook up now and then at a play party.

But it got me to thinking. I went to my OKC profile and added a line that says “if you are looking for someone to clean your house, swipe on by because I am not the house maid.”

Within a couple days, nearly 20 of the men who had previously clicked “Like” had clicked UNlike. Ten percent of the men who had clicked to like me had dropped me after I’d added one line to my profile about not being their housemaid. 

I find that fascinating. It got my brain churning some more.

Why is there this automatic assumption that bottom = housemaid? Or that submissive = housemaid?

I’m a whipping post bottom and a fuck slut, not a chambermaid and waitress.

If it’s a male bottom/submissive, no such assumptions are made. They’re not nearly so often made to do the chores when it’s a now and then hookup situation. But if the bottom/sub is female, all of a sudden it’s taken for granted that she’s going to clean the bathroom when she shows up. She’ll fold the laundry, do the dishes, vacuum the living room.

You know what? Fuck that shit.

There’s an app for that. Several, in fact.

Literally, there’s an app for hiring housecleaners who will do the work exactly as you specify without all the fuss and bother of meeting people and pretending you want a relationship with them.

Make use.

Just as tops are not kink vending machines for greedy bottoms, nor are bottoms automatically your house help just because bottom.

——-

TylerRose. is known as Dame Tyler in the NYC public SM/Fetish scene. She is an award-winning author who has written two “lifestyle”, four cartoon, and twentysomething fiction books.

Twitter — https://twitter.com/DameTyler or @DameTyler
FB Fan Page — https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseGethis/

FB Regular page —  https://www.facebook.com/TylerRoseAuthor

Read her books on her Amazon page — https://www.amazon.com/TylerRose./e/B00HCPLSP2

You can also find more of her OP/ED work in Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/305828

She enjoys crocheting and baking, and will no doubt die with a thesaurus open on her thigh.

 

You may also be interested in:

  • Topping From The Bottom
    Topping From The Bottom
  • Heavy Bottom Envy
    Heavy Bottom Envy
  • Topping From the Bottom: A New Perspective
    Topping From the Bottom: A New Perspective

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Reddit
  • Email

Tagged With: bdsm, Dame TylerRose., fetish, kink

Like Kink Weekly? Support us on Patreon!

Become a Patron!

Help keep us online & get epic good karma (and no ads)
Already a supporter? We love you! Visit here to enable ad-free browsing.

Sale – today only


You need these bondage straps

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. subspaced says

    October 15, 2019 at 7:40 am

    very thorough and informative

    Reply
  2. genderbender101 says

    October 15, 2019 at 7:40 am

    great article!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Don’t miss out!

Get an email each week when new editions are online
We won't spam you, and you can
easily unsubscribe at any time

Sale – today only

Bondage kinks coffee mug

Put a smile on your face each morning

Support Kink Weekly on Patreon!

Become a Patron!

Help keep us online and get
epic good karma (and no ads)

Already a supporter? We love you! Visit here to enable ad-free browsing.

Get

Quality lockable wrist cuffs

Contribute

Want to feature your writing or photography on Kink Weekly? Are you an BDSM/sex expert or professional, and interested in being quoted in an article? Contact us

Archives

sexy blonde Domme with male submissive in straitjacket

Simple Mummification Fun!

By PirateStan Leave a Comment

Learn helpful mummification techniques in this week’s edition!

shibari male submissive bound

Why Excellent Submission Can Be Remarkably Illusive

By Ms. RikaLeave a Comment

Dive deep into submission with Ms. Rika in this week’s edition!

Footer

18 U.S.C. 2257 record keeping compliance statement
Always play
Safe Sane and Consensual

Copyright © 2023 · News Pro On Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in