Did reading that title send a little shiver down your spine? It use to do the same for me too. When I first entered the scene many years ago (but who’s counting!), Age play wasn’t really ‘in’. It wasn’t a kink people were talking about. There were no spaces for Littles, Bigs, Middles, or those who were happy to interact with them.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say 10 years ago Age play was quite taboo, but perhaps it was just the communities I was circling around. Any time anyone mentioned being a ‘Mommy’ or a ‘baby’ I couldn’t help but feel a little on edge.
What kind of fucked up play is that? I would often think to myself, too fogged by my own judgement to inquire more. Anyone within earshot must have felt the same because an admission of those statements were often left hanging in an awkward air of silence until a quick subject change was bulldozed in. Little spaces at events didn’t exist. Period. It was something a lot of kinksters did in the privacy of their homes, I now think out of fear, embarrassment or worse…shame. This is something I now feel strongly should be faced head on within BDSM on a constant basis. This community is the one place people should feel okay to express themselves without judgement.
So like any oddly curious kinkster with my uncomfortable-ness I started digging into this ‘Age play’ thing. I wanted to understand it. I wanted to view it. I wanted to witness it for myself and most of all I wanted to know if there were a place for me in it…even thought I knew absolutely, there was not. Diapers, pacifiers, bottles, baby talk? Umm no thanks. There just couldn’t be a place for me in that realm. It was “too weird” even for me.
Apparently I am one really weird person…and I love it.
Today I am proudly a loving Mommy and a strict Daddy to certain people in my life and my Age play can involve any (or none) of the things I want, including those above.
Yes I am cruel, sadistic, ruthless at times, demanding, overbearing, controlling, and a lot of other things a ‘Mommy’ or ‘Daddy’ traditionally wouldn’t be, this is my naturally Femdom side. But Age play isn’t about traditional and within kink—I can express myself as any kind of Mommy and/or Daddy; even though in real life I would never want to be in such a role. I’ve also been a bullying older sister, naughty baby sitter, naughty nurse, unsuspecting step sister and a strict teacher when the situation has called for it.
- You want a grilled cheese with no crust?
- Back rubs until you fall asleep in my arms?
- Sport a onesies of favorite your animal for cuddles?
- Need someone to color or build Legos with?
- Feeling like nuzzling in a bosom would ease that mind chatter?
- Will I be sadistic and scribble on your page? Only if you want that.
- Will I sneak lettuce into your sandwich and make you be a ‘good boy/girl’ for a late snack? Yep I sure will.
- If you’ve been bad will I enforce corner time? You better believe it.
- And if you have a favorite stuffie, well, expect me to hide it just for fun but only sometimes, promise.
What I have come to learn about Age play was simple. The more I was exposed to it the more I enjoyed watching others enjoy it. When it was hidden away and shunned, it was unknown and the unknown can be scary. It was shrouded in such secrecy I assumed the community on a whole was equally uneasy about its presence. I am happy to see the kink being embraced in all forms. Age play doesn’t have to mean you’re role playing a younger age, you can age play any age. I’ve seen a range of ages from “adult babies” all the way to bratty “barely legal teens”. I say this time and and time again to the ignorant folks but I’ll say it one more time:
Age play is not pedophilia (an often gross misconception) which is actual sexual feelings directed towards children and is totally illegal and I am in NO way condoning that.
Age play involves only consenting adults, just like all BDSM play and hence the word ‘play’ should be the main focus.
I am not a particularly maternal person but something about watching an adult pleasantly and willingly regress is hot. Like most BDSM activities their responsibilities, worries, stress, and overall negative day-to-day emotions melt away and are replaced by the feelings of being young, naive, playful, and unguarded. All because they feel safe with the person they are deciding to share this with and hand them the baton of responsibility and protection. I’ve found I can go from torturous bitch to Mama Bear in a matter of moments if I feel my boy or girl is in need of protection or comfort from anything or anyone.
The dark part of Age Play has been a natural and gradual move for me and is a space I hold dearly for those I trust. Intertwining submission, domination, bondage and discipline into guilty foreplay, “forced” intercourse, exceptionally vulgar adult language, incest roleplay, explicit sexuality, severe spankings , mind games, power trips, and humiliation settled into all the tiny cracks I had still waiting to be er…filled (hehe)…in my kinky crevices. Pushing people within their “forbidden” fetishes, ravaging their senses, unraveling their defenses and watching them squirm with a mixture of delight and regret for feeling so deliciously dangerous…it excites me on every level of my consciousness. If I am pinning you down internally without lifting a finger and making beg for permission to fantasize about what you’ve always been told you shouldn’t…
Well…then you can understand why this ‘Mommy’ signed up.
About the Author
d20domme is unapologetically kinky after over 10 years in the community. She is known as pint-height, poly(androus), plus-size, POC, 24/7 Femdom who knows what she wants and will use her craft in mindfuckery and persuasive viper tongue to get it. Her main kink is normalizing kinky lifestyles across the board and thus she can often be found writing on her blog From Mundane To Mistress, chatting away on podcasts, teaching classes, demos, or presenting locally in the Washington, DC area, New York, and sometimes across the pond in Europe.
I think the Big/little role play can be understood (at least in part) in this way…
Think of it this way.. when growing up as a child, if you were feeling guilty because you did something wrong and then ‘caught’ by an Adult figure (Parent, Aunt/Uncle or ‘baby’ sitter etc.) you were punished. After the ‘spanking’ and some form of “after care”… being held, comforted or just heard an expression of love and caring, the child would feel released and/or forgiven from that guilty feeling. The spanking was a real punishment, the tears were real but it was given because the Adult figure cared and loved them enough to discipline them. Wanting only the best for that child.
Even if it wasn’t apparent at the time the child recognized this (perhaps only on a subconscious level) and felt loved by the person disciplining them. Deepening the emotional respect and connection to that person
*at least in the best light of discipline for a child*
Now imagine if you could capture that feeling again? How would you feel about being able to feel that emotional connection and/or release again even though you are now a responsible mature Adult?
The little is often wanting to be able to shed the daily need to be a responsible, mature adult. Wanting to (for a brief time within the relationship) go back to exploring and discovering life in an innocent way or even that of being a “bratty” teenager. Knowing that they can do this because someone else is there to take on those “worries” and responsiblities for them. They know that the structure and yes discipline is there but they can freely go back to a time when things were new, fun and exciting. They also know that if (when) they are disciplined it will be from a caring “Adult” figure who is there supporting them emotionally and the discipline is because they broke the rules enforced by this caring “Mommy” or “Daddy” in their life.
For the “Big” it is about being able to create this for their partner. Taking on that Adult “role” and letting him/her let go of the need to be that responsible adult even for the briefest of times. They create a special “safe space” for their partner to be playful, splash in the bathtub or cuddle with a stuffie without feeling awkward about it and not needing to be so ‘serious’ about life. They enjoy creating that structure and discipline for their partner. Feeling the emotional connection, respect and responsibility their partner gives them gives them a special feeling of responsibility for their ‘little’.
Together they are able to share a special connection that is not often found in the “Adult to Adult” level of life, there is the D/s aspect and it is on a deep emotional bond created by knowing that a special deep feeling of love and caring is being shared together without feeling it is on a level of “taboo”. Both are sharing a feeling or desire that goes back to growing up with or wanting to be with a caring Adult and for the “Big” to be that Adult figure for his/her partner.
It is not about and never should be about the real “Family” connection or desire for a physical age. It is about creating and feeling the emotional release/connection that comes from the “role” they play together and the emotional feeling that it creates within their relationship
(this is of course only my thoughts about this lifestyle and not meant to be a definition or the only view of the lifestyle.. it is only my opinion but I think it is a fair one)
Beautifully explained! Thank you for sharing your insight on this. I feel as if you were in my mind, gathering so many of my thoughts, organizing them, and then laid them all out. Kudos to you.
Adults craving, and even more so, NEEDING structure and discipline in their lives, would greatly benefit from this style of living. Too bad that there isn’t a special specific place for all those whom think like us, to live together, in a community where we can all live freely in our choices.
“After care” is something that I used to feel like I didn’t deserve after a punishment. In fact, due to sexual abuse as a preteen through the age of 14, I just wanted to be left alone and pray that my “punishment” was finally over…for the time being.
As an adult, and have been living with both the Domestic Discipline, and the D/s side of BDSM, for 25 years now (wow, where in the world did time go?!?) , I have finally learned and am really starting to believe that after atonement, I do bdeserve forgiveness, for the slate to be wiped clean, and comforting attention, afterwards. At that point, when the punishment has been delivered, I am a good girl, once more.
Thank you again, SteamyKnight!
Excellent write-up! There was always a pt of me that was a little apprehensive of sharing because of the stigma surrounding this kink. I’m still pretty closed off when sharing this with new partners, and it isn’t a requirement of a relationship, but it does make sexy times incredibly hot when my partner works in some little roleplay!
I applaud you for exploring this, even if you aren’t comfortable doing it with every partner. It’s honestly not for every partner, it’s for the right person with whom you can share it with. Keep pushing your boundaries to find the acts you feel most attuned to to further your growth in this area.