I have always had a fascination with rope. It is such a versatile medium to explore kink. It can be used as a fashion statement, to lead someone, to bind them in place, or even to make them feel comfortable.
My own journey started with a class entitled “Basic Bondage and Shibari,” given by Magick42. I have been blessed to have him help me with my knots and correct my ties with my own Little.
There are hundreds of ways to use rope. There are a few things you need to know first.
There are three types of bondage associate with rope play.
Shibari– This literally translates as “to tie beautifully.” While it can include the binding of various body parts, it is more focused on the beauty of the ties. This can even include rope braided and shaped around the body to mimic clothing.
Bondage– This is the restriction of body parts with the use of rope. This can include body parts tie to each other, to another person, or to an inanimate object.
Suspension– This is rope work in mid-air. This can be either bondage or shibari but often includes elements of both types of ties.
*** *** ***
There are several types of rope that can be used. Each one has their own care regiment and their own comfort level for those involved.
Hemp, Jute, Nylon, Cotton, and occasionally paracord are the most common. I do not recommend paracord because the smaller the rope diameter, the more likely it can cut off blood supply. However, it can be woven in with other types of rope to either connect several pieces together or to create a contrast of color.
I personally use Cotton. It is easy to dye if I want different colors. It is easy to wash and soften. It is comfortable for long term wear and fits nicely under clothing.
Hemp and Jute are often used because the knots tied with them are very secure. They do have a more intense upkeep but depending on your goals, it can be the right rope for you.
**Regardless of the type of Rope you use, remember to keep safety scissors (like EMT Sheers) on hand in case of emergency. It will take far too long to release someone who is panicking without them. Rope can be replaced; People Cannot.
*** *** ***
Rope is a wonderful tool. This can be especially true with Age players. Often using the term Little, rope can be used for pleasure of discipline.
I told you our story first because when people think of littles, they think only of girls and usually in a sexual Daddy Dom/little girl scenario. In truth, for most of us, that is a much different category. I’ve had to struggle through finding definitions and distinctions for the last few years, so I wanted to give you something to make it easier to understand.
Little: A person who finds it more comfortable to be taken care of. Often times, the most important thing is the reassurance of your love and the comfort of cuddles. Littles can be any gender, any color, and a variety of ages. I know some who range from age 1 – age 6.
Middle: This is more of an age range definition. Middles tend to be from roughly age 7 to age 12. It is not set in stone but more of a generic age range based on the types of behaviors they exhibit.
Teen: These are people who range from ages 13-17. Typically, teens are seen more with age-players and it is far more often for ages 15-17 to exhibit the sexual behavior that is attributed to Daddy Dom relationships.
Big: This is an umbrella term for the “adults.” Mommies, Daddies, Caregivers, Babysitters, Grandmas, Grandpas, Aunties, and Uncles. The labels for an adult will vary with each Little based on the type of relationship you have or the way they relate to others in your life.
Caregiver (CG): A Caregiver is someone who makes the decisions for the littles. They are often part of the outer role of adults that the little trusts.
Babysitter: A Babysitter is someone who temporarily watches over a little when the CG cannot.
There are four types of littles. They all share characteristics but are decidedly different.
For the following two types, it is important to note that the mindset present is that of a child. Most often, they are not in a mindset to consent to anything beyond what you may ask a Toddler. There is absolutely no sexual interaction with either of these two nor is there an expectation of consent.
Regressive: This type of little is someone who’s mind regresses to the age they are representing. For many, they are unaware that they are in adult bodies. Some may lose the ability to walk or require the use of diapers simply because their mind does not know how to do these things. Often, the time that they are in the “little” mindset ends up being a blackout for the adult mind.
Split: These are individuals who have Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder). This is a change from one person to another where the secondary personality is a young child. The personality may or may not be aware that they are one part of a whole.
For the next two types, there tends to be a headspace associated with these. From what I have been told, it is like sub space. It is a space that allows you to give up control and forget about adult responsibilities for a time.
Age Player: These are adults who are fully aware that they are pretending to be a different age. Usually there is no sexual aspects to this relationship.
Sexual Age Player: This is where you tend to find Daddy/Mommy Doms and Little girl/boys. Often shortened to DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl), this is a subset of BDSM. There is a D/s relationship that is built around comfort and Domestic Discipline. The little often has rules that the DD/MD enforces and corrects willful disobedience. The most common punishments are spankings, corner time/time outs, and grounding.
** I specified the various types of Littles because some of the rope types need explicit consent that Regressive and Split Littles are not capable of giving. Since neither of these types of littles are able to recall their actual age, they cannot consent any more than an actual child. As such, the rope work I use with these individuals is usually limited to a basic harness, that does not restrict any part of the body, and a wrist leash. These are like the Monkey backpacks and Monkey leashes sold for toddlers.**
Knots and Ties
I know, it is a lot of general information. However, it is always to distinguish the difference between the different abilities to consent.
This is a Waist Tie I originally found on thedutchy.com when I started getting into rope. It is wonderful for keeping underwear or diapers on your Little. After all, some of them thoroughly love to run around without clothes on. It can be used for punishment to keep toys in or stop them from playing without permission.
You can vary this tie and secure their wrists to the sides of the tie (or behind their back) as well.
This is a tie I favor for punishment. It works well if your Little needs to be placed in the corner or if you are trying to teach them to keep their hands to themselves. Its quite frustrating for those with a lot of energy or brats who enjoy pushing your buttons.
*** *** ***
This is probably the most common Harness Tie I see in my community. Though this example shows the restriction of the arms, you can do the same harness without the restriction if you simply enjoy the look of it or if your Little has issues with bondage.
From my experience, these ties are the basis for almost any basic rope that you will try. Once you master these, the world is at your fingertips.
Rope can be as broad as your imagination. I am going to include basic ties to get you started. The Google, Fetlife.com, Youtube.com, and your fellow kinksters can be a wealth of information to help you grow and learn.
About the Author
My name is Joji. I am 29 years old currently and I have been in and around the kink community about 15 years.I am a collared submissive to Magick42. I am also a Daddy to a wonderful babygirl, and have been for more than three years now and I find it very fulfilling. I am being mentored in and being taught electroplay. I am a masochist at heart and thoroughly love impact play, especially caning. I enjoy reading anything I can get my hands on and am a die hard Harry Potter and Doctor Who fan. I am also the secretary for a group in Idaho called Moscow S.P.A.R.K.E (Simply Providing Another Route to Kink Education). It is our mission to teach safe practices to those new to the community and give them a safe haven to ask questions and learn without judgement. We accept all kinks and all we ask in return is respect between all our members.