In honor of my upcoming 1950’s class at Threshold, I wanted to do one more article on 1950’s power exchange dynamics.
My last article provided a brief overview of how the 1950’s can be implemented. Now I would like to talk about specific 1950’s protocols using the “Good Wife’s Guide.” This guide was published in 1955. Its purpose was to help wives be the best homemaker and spouse they could be. This guide could potentially help formulate 1950’s-esque protocols within power exchange relationships. Some of my protocols are heavily influenced by this guide. When reading this article please replace the word “wife” with s type, slave, sub, etc. Please replace the word “husband” with Dom, Master, D type, etc.
In this article, each rule from the “Good Wife’s Guide” will be in bold and my protocol suggests based on the rule will be in italics.
Please note, I am in NO WAY saying that you have to be married to be in a 1950’s dynamic. Also, I am in NO WAY saying that you must be female to be the homemaker/s type/slave in a 1950’s dynamic. As I said in previous articles, you can have a 1950’s power exchange relationship no matter what your lifestyle, sexual orientation, or gender is. Please see my previous 1950’s articles to gain a better understanding of how inclusive 1950’s dynamics are and can be.
In the 1950’s marriage was only recognized between a man and a woman, and power exchange dynamics were usually not publicly talked about like they are now. Also, it was not customary for women in the 1950’s to be the breadwinner and/or have a fulltime career/job. That’s why the guide refers to the wife as being the homemaker.
Despite these conservative views that no longer fit our progressive society, we can take this guide and build 1950’s protocols from them. After all, this guide talks about what was expected of a homemaker in the 1950’s. As I mentioned previously, a traditional 1950’s M/s or D/s dynamic would have the s type or slave taking care of the home to some degree.
Okay now that all the disclaimers are over, let’s get started.
- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.
Protocols here could include the s type having to prepare dinner, lunches, or pick up food for the D type and/or family.
Grocery shopping could be included here. There could be a ritual and/or schedule put in place for dinner preparation.
It could also be required that the table be set a certain way when the D type returns home from work and dinner be presented a certain way to the D type.
- Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
The s type could be required to have dinner ready, warmed, and on the table upon the D type’s arrival. If the D type and s type have a smart phone they can share their locations with each other, so the s type can perfectly time it, so dinner is ready when the D type arrives home.
The s type could also be ordered to cook or pick up the D type’s favorite meal on certain days, holidays, occasions, etc.
- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
It is rule in our home that I am fresh, showered, shaved and of the soundest state possible by the time my Master returns home from work. I always wear his favorite perfume upon his arrival as well. I will often surprise him with lingerie or ask what he would like me to greet him in.
It is also a rule in our home that I must ask to have Free time. I make sure to at least give myself fifteen minutes of Free time before my Master gets home from work. I do this to calm and center myself before he gets home.
- Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
I always greet my Master with sheer excitement when he gets home. I often sing, will go into “little mode”, please him in a special way, dress up in a roleplay outfit, or have a surprise waiting for him. All these things help to break up the monotony of his day.
- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.
I would highly suggest having your D type outline the s type’s household duties and how the D type wishes the house to be kept. If needed, a house cleaning schedule could be put in place.
For example, I do a once over of the house daily. This can include anything from cleaning, to doing laundry, to cleaning out the fridge, restocking items in the home, to doing the dishes, to fixing something, to putting a way clutter, to vacuuming, to ironing etc. Basically, the once over is whatever needs to be done to the house that day.
Before my Master comes home I always give the house one more walk through to make sure everything is up to my Master’s standards.
My Master outlined for me very specific things he would like to have when he comes in the door. For example, a candle is lit, the sheets are folded a certain way, the table is set, dinner is ready, and I am waiting for him in Humble position.
One could implement specific household protocols to ensure the D type is living in the kind of household they desire.
- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Specific relaxation protocols could be implemented so the D type can relax after a long day. They could be a specific relaxing time for them (time with friends, alone, watching Netflix, exercising, doing an activity that is calming, etc.), a back rub or foot rub from the s type, the s type drawing a hot bath for the D type, etc.
- Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.
If you have children, there can be specific protocols put in place to get them ready in the morning and get them ready for bed each night. There could also be a protocol put in place to prepare the kids when the D type gets home from work.
The children’s meals, schedules, and extra curriculars could be approved by the D type as well.
- Children are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
A protocol could be implemented to put on a movie or TV for the children or have the kids be playing outside when the D type gets home, so there is minimal noise in the house upon the D type’s arrival. There could also be a limited noise protocol put in place for the D type’s arrival too such as no washer/dryer, vacuum, etc. when the D type first enters the home after a long day at work.
My Master and I have a rule where we must be in the same room to talk. He does not want any raised voices in our home. If I talk to him in another room, he will simply say “Room,” and then I know to come into the room he is in to talk to him.
- Be happy to see him. Free him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him.
Specific greeting protocols could be put in place along with a protocol for asking about the D type’s day.
Our greeting ritual is as follows: I greet my Master in humble, he then instructs me to please him in whatever way he needs, then I serve and present his dinner and water to him, and then I ask about his day.
- You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first — remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
As I mentioned previously, I ask about his day first. This is a hard rule for us. This ensures my Master feels heard and respected.
Also, I never ask him about his day when we first see each other in the evening. I must always wait until after I have pleased him. I do talk about my day, but only after my Master has told me about his day and he asks about my day.
Communication and check ins are so paramount. Even though in this kind of dynamic it is customary for the D type to talk about their day first, I feel it is very important for the s type to have time to talk about their day too. I am merely talking about the order of who goes first when talking about their daily experiences here. I am in no way suggesting that the s type not talk about their day.
- Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
We try to make evenings and weekends all about my Master. It would be frowned upon if I complained to him about his whereabouts. I would most likely be punished.
On weekends we implement high protocol. In our home, high protocol means I must ask to do anything and everything (bathroom, eat, chores, activities, etc.) to ensure my Master can have the exact weekend that suits his needs, and so he can replenish himself after a long week.
- Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where you husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
This is very similar to the previous rule and rule number 6. Protocols can be put in place to make sure the D type is as relaxed as possible and gets as much relaxation as needed.
- Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
This could easily be turned into a protocol. This is a hard rule in our home. As I mentioned previously, I must be in the soundest state (as calm as possible) possible when my Master gets home from work. It is also in our contract that I must try my best to never greet him with complaints and/or negativity.
- Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
No complaining protocols could be implemented. We have a “no bellyaching” rule in our home. I am also never allowed to say “No” to my Master. I can say “only if it pleases you, Master,” which lets my Master know I would say “No” if I could.
- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Certain things could be implemented to help make your D type as comfortable as possible. For example, preparing a hot foot massage bath, heating up a hot compress for their back if they suffer from back pain, turning down the sheets for them for an evening nap, preparing their favorite cocktail, etc.
- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Specific bedroom protocols could be put in place. For example, how the bed is made, how the pillows are arranged, how the sheets are turned down.
The s type could take off the D type’s shoes when they first get home.
As I mentioned previously, a no yelling from room to room rule could be implemented. There could also be a rule that limits emotional outbursts and/or yelling in general. Low voice protocols could be implemented.
- Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment of integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
I am never allowed to question my Master in public. I am, however, allowed to bring up counter arguments politely in private, but my Master does not have to agree with them. He still has the final say over everything.
- A good wife always knows her place.
Protocols could be put in place to physically position the s type when walking, sitting, etc. to reinforce their submission in relation to the D type. For example, sitting at the D type’s feet or walking behind the D type.
Other protocols could be put in place such as never saying “no” and never questioning their D type (which I stated previously). This also reinforces the D type’s place of power.
Slave positions could also be used to further enforce the s type’s place in the home.
This rule leaves room for a lot of creativity. It is very open-ended and there are countless ways to reinforce the s type’s role/position in a 1950’s dynamic.
I hope going over this guide and giving some modernized examples of 1950’s protocols has been beneficial. At the very least I hope it has given readers a lot to think about and discuss with your partners.
Please keep in mind, these rules are not the only way to live a 1950’s lifestyle. They are merely suggestions and one way to keep the 1950’s alive.
If you would like to know more feel free to attend my 1950’s class at Threshold on February 10th.
As always, thanks for reading and stay tuned!
About the Author:
Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She will be teaching all over the Los Angeles area this year and will also be presenting two workshops at the BDSM Writers Con in Seattle and New York.She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.
John Martin says
dear slave bunny dose a slaves day collar need a locking heart or not can i use a costume jewellery pearl choker
instead please send a reply firstname.lastname@example.org
a huge cunt says
shut up dude she obviously doesn’t care
John Martin says
dear slave bunny i am looking for a day collar that looks 1950s in style ihave seen a pearl chocker costume jewllery with out a padlock is a padlock necessary for slavd day collar thank you john martin
John Martin says
dear slave bunny i do not know if you have have seen my comment on do slave day collars need to be lockable i am looking for a 1950s pearl day collar and i have seen a pearl choker costume jewellery with out locking hart padlock can i use that instead of a slaves day collar thank you john martin
What you are describing would be called a reverse 1950’s household.
And that dynamic in it’s most traditional 1950’s form, would be the sub being the homemaker and the Dom being the breadwinner. Gender doesn’t have much to do with the breadwinner/homemaker dynamic. In this day and age any gender can be the main provider for their family.
Of course, there can always be modifications done to any kind of dynamic to make it more suit the needs of those in it. I am just providing info on this kind of dynamic in its most basic form.
Is there a name for a 1950’s dynamic where the Dom is a female and the sub is a male?
And could you give advice on how that would work?
Slave Bunny says
Thank you for the comment, StepfordBride. In our dynamic, I am valued for my ideas and opinions as long as I don’t question my Master in public and speak to him in an appropriate and polite fashion.
Not at all dynamics consider the sub/slave equal to the Dom/Master, but in mine we do. I fully respect those that are consentually thought of as less than though. I am all for whatever dynamic people want and agree to.
I like the old fashion of the man be head of household and taking lead why I take care the house please him but i am submissive and more or mind and freewill as this 2018 I do like the 1950s have for years lived as one i live and breathe it just you have to live life also. I am one for one one man for one women and the long term to marriage. I grow up reading Emily post how to be lady First Master wanted me to 1950s women as his Mother was I was to dress to the nines be well groomed have good manners and be respectful. Their is a time and place everything but women still has to be a women she not animal I also own two groups on fet in stepfords and 1950s i give advice but good to see others. Just know that you still live 1950s lifestyle but you its two way street not just one person truly women needs to have mind even if she slave or sub I am slave more in the bedroom but more submissive during the say but speak up these days women can speak up say something but still live a 1950s lifestyle. Love bond and trust and punishment should only be out of love.
John Martin says
Hi StepfordBride I am into the 1950s house hold to can you please tell me is there any 1950’s house hold kink grops on fet life thank you
Slave Bunny says
The first thing that comes to mind is perhaps having a Dom, sub, and little.This could be based on what one might think of concerning “the traditional 1950’s family.” Also, you could have two homemaker subs that split the household responsibilities.
There are countless ways to structure your dynamics and home. These are just a few that came to mind.
John Martin says
Hi slave bunny do you know any 1950’s house hold fetish groups on fet life
Kinky Kathy says
Your article gave me a lot to think about. What are some ways to structure a 1950’s household that has more than two people in the dynamic?
Slave Bunny says
Earl, I appreciate your comment, and agree with you that the household structure of the 50’s is a very fulfilling way to live your life. However, I wouldn’t call it a fetish. I would just say it’s one way of structuring your life and relationships.
It can be turned into something sexual in during play, but what I am describing in my articles I would not consider a fetish. I am describing more of a lifestyle choice.
And there are so many ways to live and be happy! 1950’s is just what works for me, but it definitely does not work for everyone.
This is exactly the home that I grew up in during the 60’s and 70’s. My parents were married for 53 years when my Dad died. My Mom still misses this relationship dearly. I find it so disappointing that this is now called a “fetish” rather than a normal relationship. Frankly people, we have really fucked up a system that worked well. Guess you do reap what you sow.