So before you read this article you may want to read through my last article on my definition of littles. I emphasize “my definition” because this is a very personal topic and different people will identify or define it differently. For the purposes of this article I will reiterate that I view littles as more of a regression – when in their “little” headspace. Please feel free to check out the full article here.
My disclaimer for this article today is that I am comparing littles to “babygirls”. Yes, I am being specific, however, if you substitute babyboy for babygirl much of this information will be the same. Are there differences? Absolutely. I choose to compare with babygirls because it is the identifier that I can relate to the most.
Ok – enough with the disclaimers.
So in comparing the two I see the biggest difference as a regression vs. somewhat of a role-play. Now, before you get your pigtails in a twist and scream, “my babygirl side is NOT role-play – it’s a real part of who I am!” – know that I completely understand that. There is a spectrum here – much like everything else. For some it actually is simply role-play used for specific scenes, however, I think for most self-identified babygirls this is not the case. Some may always identify as a babygirl as opposed to it being a “headspace” that they go into because they have certain childlike personality traits. Or they may identify with babygirl because of a more nurturing dynamic with their partner. For others it may come out under specific circumstances, like in the bedroom. It may be a headspace they go into for molestation or incest play because it’s what turns them on. The point here is that the babygirl identity can take many different forms and manifest differently for everyone. However, in my view the thing that these various manifestations have in common is that it is not a regression like a little. They are still an adult mentally and kink play or sexual activities are typically not seen as a bad thing. Many times, in fact, these are the things that will bring out their babygirl side or enhance it.
A babygirl may not feel like they go to a specific age in this headspace, however, it is possible. Or they could associate this headspace with a specific age or age range. This doesn’t mean they are physically, emotionally, and psychologically that age like the way I view littles are.
I hope this article makes sense. It’s a very hard thing to explain on paper. Like I said in my other article – if someone identifies as a little or babygirl they may define it completely differently than I have. Someone spoke up at my last 101 class that for her – her little space is simply about allowing herself to be vulnerable and letting the weight of the adult world wash away for a bit. For this reason she won’t “go there” unless she is with her partner or people she really trusts.
Again, I encourage you to explore your “little” or “babygirl” side if you are so inclined, or talk to those that do and find out what it means and looks like for them.
Jennifer Masri is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in Alternative Lifestyles for individual and relationship issues. She also teaches the BDSM 101 class series at Sanctuary LAX in Los Angeles every Monday evening. Read more about Jennifer on her blog, A Kink Shrink.