I would hardly say I had a rough childhood. I rarely wanted for anything material. Yet at the same time, it was a childhood without the security of loving biological parents. I was raised by grandparents, and the lack of my natural parents in a regular routine in my life definitely contributed to a lack of emotional security for me.
In being someone with a fairly well-established Caregiver / little-ish relationship, I regularly run across others who are either in similar dynamics or who desire to be. The ones who have been comfortable enough to share some of their life stories with me often seem to have similarities.
Perhaps they had one or both parents in their homes, but they lacked some kind of emotional stability their parents should have (in a perfect world) been providing for them. They have found that particular dynamic healing for past issues in their upbringing, often a lack of nurturing parental figures.
Obviously, I don’t have a huge set of sample data to draw from. I can speak from personal experience, and speak quietly around the edges about some others, but when I have less than ten people to draw my conclusions from, I know my logic is faulty at best.
So then I began thinking.
As someone in a Caregiver / little-ish relationship, and someone who is pretty analytical, maybe there is research out there already.
I looked, but no dice.
What if I actually did the research and approached it scientifically?
So I started thinking about what I would need to know.
I’d need ages to sort people’s responses. The rest of the questions would be basic. I’d need to know if they had biological parents at home and how emotionally stable they felt their home lives were. I’d also need to know their roles in their dynamics.
I thus present this request to you, kinky world.
I want to know how we tick. I want to know what drives us. When I get enough responses (a thousand is my goal), I want to write about my findings.
Are our childhoods that intimately connected to the kinds of relationships we are building in our 20’s? Our 30’s? Our 40’s?
Do we begin to escape its influence as we get older and “wiser”?
Let’s all find out together, shall we?
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