When A Dom Is Down

So many people see Dom’s (I use this term to cover generally all of the Top persuasion) as indestructible men and women who have total control over everything they do and that nothing can get to them. Yet in reality it couldn’t be further from the truth.

At the end of the day Dom’s are only human too. The same things that can bring down ‘normal’ people, can have just as much of effect on them. Often at times though, they are just better at hiding it. I know I am, my poker face game is strong!

Yet it’s ok to let things get to you. It is ok to say, especially to your Sub, that you need some support. Someone to tell you things will be ok. That you’re worth it and doing a good job. A simple kind word or hug from your Sub does wonders.

Asking for help and support in times of need, is a show of strength, not weakness.

Being a Dom, especially with a Sub to care for, can be a lot of work. It takes a lot of effort. There are times where you will question yourself, doubt yourself. There are times when your head may overthink the smallest things. At the end of the day though you need to trust yourself. Trust in your Sub. Trust in the relationship you are in.

I have mentioned in previous writings about just how strong the connection is with my FunUnicorn. What I haven’t said enough though, is just how much strength she both gives and shows me.

I’m not sure if she knows how much her words mean to me at times. Perhaps I should tell her more. I’m pretty simple to please at times and hearing that I’m valued, or what I mean to her, does wonders for me and my mind set.

What I do know, is because of the bond and the honest, open communication we have, we can say anything at all to each other. I know that I can go to her and tell her I’m down and she will pick me up and give me strength.

It is ok for a Sub to support their Dom in the times when they are down. And it’s ok for a Dom to lean on their Sub when needed.

If you can manage to get your d/s relationship to this point, where there is no dominant ego, just respect, love, understanding and support, believe me, your relationship will be amazing.

Those times when you’re down, won’t seem nearly as bad either.

About the Author

Having privately been a Dom for a little over 10 years, it is just in the last couple of years that Wgtn_Dom has stepped out of the shadows and become more involved in the Wellington and New Zealand BDSM and kink scene.

He loves to share the knowledge that he has gained over the years, with anyone who cares to listen or read his writings! But is also a sucker for gaining further knowledge himself and is always keen to learn more about all aspects of BDSM and kink.

While by no means an erotic writer, he does enjoy putting in writing some of his erotic thoughts or sharing some of his adventures he gets up to with his beautiful submissive.

He also enjoys sharing his thoughts and personal insight about various topics on Fetlife and welcomes any and all feedback on whatever he may jot down. Feel free to follow him there too under Wgtn_Dom.


  1. genderbender101 says:

    Great advice!

  2. extremely well-written

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