Don’t Put Yourself In A Box

Hello lovely readers!

I wanted to take some time to talk about labeling and “putting one’s self in a box.”

While using labels/identifiers are one of the ways we make sense of the world, ourselves, and others, I greatly urge one to not become married to these types of things. 

People are changing and shifting constantly. Change is part of growth and learning. If we become so invested in a particular label, this could hinder our growth.

For example, many knew me as solely a slave/submissive for years. They also knew me and my Master as monogamous. Many, most likely, assumed that I was straight.

However, as time went on, my Master and I decided to become poly. With this, came me discovering my Dominant side and re-connecting with my queer side.

I am still my Master’s slave, but I have been catering to other aspects of my personality as well.

Humans are so complex and it’s important that we allow ourselves to express all sides of ourselves.

It’s also paramount to remember that we are not black and white entities and nothing in this world is. You can be a babygirl and a Mistress. A Top and bottom. A pet and Handler. You can be any combo of things. 

Also, different people and activities bring out different parts of us. That’s one of the reasons I feel it is important to always be honing various hobbies and skills, have a multitude of friendships, etc. For most, one hobby, friend, type of workout, food etc will not fulfill someone.

The same is true for kink. That why many have various play partners, power exchange dynamics, attend different events/classes, etc

I once put myself in a box due to anxiety and a distrust of myself. Now that I have done years of self work (and will continue to do the work-because everyone can always improve), I feel very confident owning the different aspects of myself.

I am a slave, a Domme, a best friend, a daughter, a colleague, an aunt, a wife, a workout nut, a cook, a writer, an educator, etc.

Also, I want to note that one relationship can be quite multi-faceted. For example my Master is not just my Master. He is also my husband, my best friend, my confidante, my Daddy, my business advisor, my life partner etc. And I am not just his slave. I am his wife, best friend, life partner, confidante, at times caretaker,his assistant, etc.

In short, it’s important to acknowledge the complexity of relationships and individuals. True depth and meaning will come about from this. Things that are one-sided and remain one-sided will often come out “half baked.”

With this being said, I encourage you all to dive deep into yourselves and your current friendships, relationships, etc, and see if there are undiscovered aspects of any of these. Is there anything that is worth exploring further? Genuine connection comes from acceptance of all facets, sides, and aspects of a particular relationship and/or self.

Journal, do some soul-searching, communicate with your loved ones about your questions and findings.

I am sure you will be surprised and proud of what you uncover! This type of work will also help to deepen your relationships. Communication leads to understanding and understanding leads to growth and added meaning.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to comment below. As always, thanks for reading and stay tuned!

About the Author

Slave Bunny is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.