It’s The Little Things

Hello lovely readers!

It’s been a while. Last time I wrote I was in a 24/7 1950’s-inspired power exchange dynamic. Please refer to my 1950’s articles to gain a better understanding of what I am talking about if you are just tuning in (type in my name in the search bar and they should come up).

With wanting to buy a house, some recent medical challenges, and my PTSD recovery going swimmingly, we decided to revamp our dynamic to allow for where we need to be in life at this time. 

Afterall, power exchange, relationships, and life all take a decent amount of flexibility and adaptability. It’s unrealistic to think your dynamic and/or life will stay the same forever. 

To me, life is all about growth and growth needs change to occur. And, sure, power exchange is definitely about discipline, rigidity, structure, protocols etc. However, throughout life it’s important to revise your structure as needed. This is why regular check-ins and contract revisions are important- to make sure your dynamic is working for your current reality, and so your dynamic can add to your life/relationship and not work against it. 

Plainly put, some things are out of our control (even for D-types). It’s paramount to be able to acknowledge these things and modify as needed. It sometimes can be hard to let go of routines, rituals, protocols, etc because it makes one feel safe and/or there was so much training and work that went into them. However, it’s often quite beneficial to train on new things in order to learn new skills, and one can find a new kind of security within the new chapter of your dynamic. 

I was terrified (at first) to lose my safe, little 1950’s world where my Master could approve everything because my universe had been made so small (completely consensual by the way). But as time went on I was able to see my growth and how my power exchange dynamic had equipped me to take on these new challenges. It was quite empowering to say the least. Furthermore, due to the intense training my Master and I had done, it continually felt and feels like he is engrained in me, guiding me-even though he is not able to micromanage me like he once did.

I am so grateful for my years as a 1950’s 24/7 slave. This period prepared me to be able to work multiple jobs, cultivate wonderful friendships, gain a better handle on my anxiety/OCD/PTSD-we even became poly in the last year! All of these things would not have been possible had I not been gifted with the sacred time to just be His. Our 1950’s life was also very bonding, and helps us to stay connected during this crazy stint in our life due to how close we became, how much I relied on him, and how my sole job was to serve him/learn how I could best serve him.

Living as a 1950’s slave centered me, grounded me, and allowed me to move at my own pace. Not many people get the opportunity to do this solo; let alone to do this with someone that wishes to invest so much time and energy into you and the relationship. I cannot thank my Master enough for those years.

Going forward, I am also quite grateful for where we are at now and what the future holds. Because we are busier than we have ever been and have more challenges than we have ever had before, it’s been quite essential to hold on to what we have deemed the most important protocols and rituals such as the morning collaring ritual (among others). Sure, we have had to get creative with my new work schedule (sending a collaring video when I leave for work before my Master is out of bed), but the idea, dedication, devotion, mindfulness, and power exchange are still very much alive.

A lot of folks think that “Oh, life changed, so we gotta get rid of our D/s.” I am here to tell you that is just not true. Your power exchange can grow with you. It may look different (ours sure does). But the great thing about any kind of dynamic is, is that you can make it whatever you need it to be at any given time in your life (as long as you communicate with all partners, work together, and come up with a game plan that is consensual/wanted by all parties). 

When dealing with a major transition ask yourself: What are the core values that my relationship is about? How do these manifest in our protocols, rituals, interactions etc? 

Then ask:

Based on our current schedules, lifestyle(s), careers, wants, needs etc how can we realistically cater to these values in a tangible way? Do we need to adjust anything? What’s not realistic anymore? What’s not serving us anymore? What needs to be modified to allow our desired protocols and rituals to be implemented consistently? What needs to be added to our dynamic?

These are big questions and they may take time to answer. It may take some trial and error too. And there’s nothing wrong with that. 

The important thing is that you are working together, communicating, and trying to be flexible and adaptable for the betterment of each partner and your relationship.

Despite being in a power exchange dynamic you are still a team (a team with a team captain), but a team nonetheless. Because of this you must function as such- especially when life happens (and it will) to ensure your relationship can be as sustainable as possible.

It’s so great to be writing again! Please reach out with any questions or comments. As always thanks for reading and stay tuned!

About the Author

Slave Bunny is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.