It's so easy to look at what someone else has and believe it is what we need to find happiness.  I see it all the time.  It can be as simple as wishing you'd ordered what someone else was served at a lunch meeting, or as painful and potentially relationship-damaging as constantly envying metamours for the kind of attention or time they are getting from a mutual … [Read more...]

There is an unspoken rule in most kink communities. Identities are to be kept secret. We may learn someone's first name or about the type of work they do, but it is usually drilled into us early on in our admittance into the secret dungeons and kinky conventions that we are not to seek that information out.  If we are entrusted with it, that is one thing.  Asking someone … [Read more...]

Is there some kind of step by step list for negotiating? came the text. I rolled my eyes and sighed a bit.  I'm not sure why some people think I'm sweetness and light, with answers like Google.  I'm more an odd blend of snark and obedience, but more of the sass to those who don't command the latter. Of course, when it comes to answers, it's important to me to either share … [Read more...]