Christmas Bunny

Sunday Morning

April 10, 2021 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

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Eyelashes fluttering, she snapped to consciousness with a hand stroking down her body. Legs parting automatically, as was the rule, it took a moment of focus to realize why the hand which dipped between her legs to find moisture felt not quite right.

That’s right, she remembered suddenly. She’d gone to sleep last night with a woman curled between them, warm and sated, all three falling deeply into the kind of sleep that only aerobics followed by orgasm could bring. She turned her head to get lost in hair that swirled around the both of them, to see the curve of feminine lips above her. Passion took hold and she reached out in turn, burying fingers in the other woman’s hair as she begged their Master for permission to ride the wave of pleasure, the poured over the edge as if the waterfall had taken her.

Her front was suddenly hit by cooler air and she opened her eyes to see their Master pull their partner to the edge of the bed, using firm grips on her hair and her own positioning as leverage. He tipped their girl’s head over the edge of bed, sliding his cock between her eager lips. His gaze fell on her and she scrambled to place herself between their girl’s spread thighs. Placing her thumbs on their girl’s outer labia, she pushed to reveal the erect clitoris beneath. She wiggled closer on her stomach and buried her face between their girl’s thighs, taking a moment to enjoy the musky scent of all three of them blended together from last night before closing her eyes again and delicately lapping at the engorged flesh. As she pleasured their girl with mouth and hands, Master stroked in and out of her mouth, pausing when she struggled to breathe, gagging at times. Their girl wrapped her arms around His thighs, pulling him to her more enthusiastically as she began to approach her climax.

As He stroked and she licked, their girl imagined she was a flame burning between them, existing as nothing but an object for pleasure, and she screamed around the cock buried in her throat as she came, pulling Him closer and over that same waterfall with her, passion releasing down her throat. Disengaging, He stroked her her and the hair of his other partner as she crawled towards them. Rearranging themselves, they piled back onto the bed to lazily doze in the half-light of the morning, drifting back to sleep.

‘Easy like Sunday morning,’ was the last coherent mutter between them, their morning a happily haphazard tangle of bare limbs, blankets and stuffies. Breakfast could wait when there was love to be shared.

How To Effectively Cope With Jealousy

April 2, 2021 By Christmas Bunny 4 Comments

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We all know how this works with medical issues. If I have a cough, I could take some over the counter medication or cough drops and treat the symptom. However, that cough may be related to allergies, or asthma. It could be related to pneumonia, or covid. Treating the symptom is only going to get me so far when the underlying issue is still at work in my body, causing problems.

So why is that when people experience “negative” emotions they assume that’s where the problem stops? “Oh, I’m just jealous. Everyone feels that way sometimes.”

Just jealous? Why are you experiencing that emotion?

Jealousy, like any other emotion, is merely the end result of a chain that starts somewhere in the brain and ends with a feeling. The question, as always, is where does it start, and how do we address the root cause?

There can be two ways to get there. The obvious one people give in to, is allowing their jealousy (or other feeling they don’t enjoy) to turn to anger at feeling bad and to throw that anger at their partner until what they are really upset about finally tumbles out from between their lips, if they get that far. My recommendation instead of choosing the destructive route is to take some time for introspection. Rather than allowing myself to act on a feeling of jealousy or frustration, irritation or anger, I spend time with it. I love it and caress it and talk to it for a while. Sometimes I even name it George. I ask it to show me what was bothering it, the way I would any friend who came to me with a problem. It is usually happy to accommodate my gentle coaxing in a way that doesn’t alienate my partner.

Because that’s really what all of this is about, isn’t it? Better, more positive communication, yes?

Perhaps the root isn’t that my partner is spending time with someone else, perhaps it is because the time we’ve spent together seems less like quality time and more like two people on their phones. Perhaps I’m upset because I’m not feeling special, or maybe I’m even mistaking one emotional response for another. When envy is the feeling of wanting what someone else has and jealousy is the feeling of being afraid to lose what you already have, they are easily mistaken for one another. Throw in the concept of “fear of missing out” and that’s quite a tangled ball to unravel before getting the heart of things. Some people can’t go through this process alone, so for them I always suggest they have a kink / poly aware counselor help them untangle where those feelings are coming from.

The important part is where you communicate these things to partners. Don’t freeze them out or pretend everything is okay. Let them know you’re working through stuff and you’ll let them know when you figure it out. Don’t take forever to do that, of course, or they will no longer trust your process. Continue to be affectionate while you sort out your shit. There’s no reason to punish them for your feelings. Once you’ve figured out what you need or desire in order to improve the situation, to address the root, be sure to do that in clear concise language, avoiding language which blames your partner. If you hadn’t – if you didn’t – when you make me feel. BZZZZZZZT! Nope. Try positive statements, such as I would like more attention, I’m feeling like I haven’t seen much of you lately, I want to feel important to you.

It can be easy to assume a feeling is its own issue as a standalone, but how often is that actually true? It is important for us to understand ourselves in order to effectively communicate that within the context of a relationship. The better we get at determining where these roots begin, the easier it will become to address those things before they begin to become bigger problems.

Christmas bunny has been exploring kink since she was legal to do so. Her serious writing started in college, where she accidently got some of her papers published in educational journals. She has recently expanded her writing to include her kink journey. She began writing in the physical realm, but shed some of her inhibitions and began sharing those entries with others. She now keeps an active blog of her personal growth and her relationship with her Master / Daddy Dominant and writes helpful educational posts on a variety of subjects.

Kink Safety: Zoom & Telegram Precautions

March 26, 2021 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

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Even as some states are lifting lockdown restrictions, there are some digital aspects of the pandemic I hope stick around. Telegram has been an awesome way to connect my local community, and this time has spawned a web of chat rooms with a variety of subject focuses, as well as chats for various local groups to just talk about their day or discuss random kink topics. Additionally, while there is no substitute for trying things in person, I have attended some truly excellent kink educational events via Zoom over the past year. For classes ranging from consent and negotiations to first aid for BDSM, all the way to a class on face needles, the Zoom camera gave me access to a much better view of some of the up-close details I wasn’t often able to see when attending class in a dungeon. Additionally, it has meant I could attend classes held in other communities with the click of a button, despite being hundreds of miles away.

Unfortunately, these new accounts and technological connections also give additional opportunities for kinksters to slip up and disclose more personal information than intended. My goal is to help walk y’all through some small privacy precautions that will hopefully keep you from flashing full names to the kink world at large.

I often see newcomers join Telegram making a couple of key mistakes. The first is using their name rather than choosing a screen name. The “name” option is your display name, not the @tag people will use to search you. If you plan to use it for vanilla purposes, you can choose something innocuous. If not, I suggest disabling search functions so contacts in your phone who are already users of Telegram or who join later won’t run across your kinky self chatting up a storm.

So here’s how. Under settings, go to the “privacy and security” tab. Under phone number, check “Nobody” can see you and only people you add to Telegram as contacts can search you that way. Under the main tab, turn off the function to sync contacts from your phone, as well as the one to suggest frequent contacts. I also advise selecting the option to delete already synced contacts if it has done this without you realizing it. For phones, you can edit your display name by clicking the three dots on an Android phone. Choose a display name that isn’t your vanilla first and last name. As an additional suggestion, consider listing your preferred pronouns.

For Zoom, prior to joining a meeting, make sure any identifying information you don’t want to share is edited first. To change your display name from your full legal name, go to the “My Account” tab. Click on “edit” and change your name. IMPORTANT: Don’t forget to change it back. My family knows what I do for a living and wouldn’t blink an eye if I joined a chat as Christmas bunny, but if my fet name were 69slutpuddle69, I suspect my family might have something to say. My employer might have even more to say.

Alternatively, have a separate kink email address and Zoom account that you log into for kink events. Again, don’t forget to log out, or just make sure not to click the check box asking if you want to stay logged in. It requires thought and consideration to protect yourself digitally. While mistakes can happen, it is important to be deliberate and careful if you want to avoid accidentally outing yourself.

When I host Zoom events for kinksters, I always watch the waiting room tab so that if someone forgets, I can edit their name for them to an innocuous first initial. You can usually edit your own name during a Zoom meeting my clicking on the three options dots on the right hand corner of your own video screen, or through the participants window when it is pulled up.

Unfortunately, not everyone who hosts a meeting will have experience doing so, and the delay in response time means more minutes passing with your full name exposed to people you didn’t intend to share that with.

Please, please, please take the time to learn how to be safer online, whether or not these digital mediums continue to flourish in the future.

The More Things Change

March 13, 2021 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

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We are mere weeks away from the middle of March, when one year ago, we shuttered our kink groups for “a few weeks” and retreated to our home to work until this passed us by. In some ways it can be difficult to truly comprehend the length of time which has passed. In others, it seems like time has slowed to a crawl, leaving us with more than we know what to do with. Fun fact that recently occurred to me: we will all have celebrated a birthday in the midst of this pandemic by the time things begin their slow crawl back to normal. I will celebrate at least two by then, having had my first very early on in isolation.

It can be odd to think back upon how different my life is in this moment from the way it looked over a year ago.

My life in Kink was flourishing. We were attending our local dungeon at least twice a month to participate in scenes, either together, with others, or both. I was actively volunteering my time to assist with other monthly events, and my leatherworking events and production had found a nicely chugging rhythm which complimented my regular work. We’d found a balance and life was a content thing for us. My partner was getting to know someone new and she and I were becoming friends.

As spring break hit where I live, concerns grew here. I implemented a new policy for client illness, in an attempt to keep my high risk partner safe, finally moving to an online only style of meeting in my business. Many of my clients dismissed my concerns, letting me know they’d be back in a few weeks when things calmed down. I quietly knew it would be longer, but my sense of foreboding didn’t prepare me for what was to come at all. I worried a lot about money in ways I hadn’t before. I was fortunate that online shopping drove more business to my leatherworking, though that began to demand more of my time and attention, which put strain on my hands.

Anxiety took over where contentment had reigned. I had to take over any in-person interactions with others. Panic attacks after grocery store visits became the norm, as I avoided anyone without a mask, and shunned stores which did not require masking regulations to be enforced. Living in Texas, the compliance percentage was low those first few months, and I made do with a cotton mask made by a friend, drying out baby wipes to act as a filter inside of it. Somehow, we stayed safe.

When reopening businesses demanded my daughter begin coming into contact with clients again, my partner I and moved out entirely, sharing residential space with an elderly high-risk relative after disclosing the nature of my leatherworking. She said she didn’t want to know anything, but as the weeks passed and she watched me work, curiosity got the better of her, and I found myself explaining aspects of kink and impact to her. Those were conversations I certainly couldn’t have imagined. Even after masks began to be proven effective and we moved home, that closeness has remained. We send meals over to her and check in with her regularly to ensure she isn’t lonely.

These changes have forcefully molded my relationship. There are things my partner has had to rely more heavily on me for that still make me uncomfortable. Having moved from a schedule where he left in the morning for work and I got up and did leatherwork, then drove to my office to handle things there for a few hours before we both returned home around the same time, things look very different now. I am now required to prepare his breakfast and actually eat something while he begins work. I’m convinced I’ll never actually master his preference in the way his eggs are cooked.

Usually around that time my apprentice arrives, and the three of us settle into our respective duties in one large office area. My partner works his regular job, with his personal laptop available for when I have administrative questions about the leatherworking, his desk nudged up to the apprentice’s. The apprentice works on building up stock or on specifically chosen projects. Sometimes we put our heads together and start working on new designs. He and I volunteered for vaccine trials together, and schedule those appointments so we can ride together and hit up leather stores on the way back.

Our local dungeon is closed for large events, though still available for private rentals. We don’t get there very often, though. We went once in August of last year, once in October, and have plans to go again tonight. Having a full house means the spanking bench in our room hasn’t been used since it was finished, because I’m too noisy for him to be comfortable with that. Our kink is mostly limited to some biting, breath play and rough sex. It’s tough, because I feel like that part of me is really struggling to be fulfilled. Yes, we’ve talked about it. Unfortunately, life is being difficult about those things currently. There’s only so much we each can do. He isn’t getting as much sex as he’d like because it’s a struggle to work around my high anxiety levels and I’m not getting beaten as much as I’d like to because our house is full of people that contribute to my anxiety. It’s a circle.

We spend all of our time together. We’re lucky we like each other still. I’ve seen a lot of relationships fall apart from the stress that’s driving the world right now. We’re still solid as it gets, despite my mental health struggles.

What will things look like on the other side? I have no idea. To be honest, I’m afraid to look too much past tomorrow. I do my best to support our local dungeon and continue to communicate with my partner and my girlfriend, and keep moving forward into whatever the day brings.

Building A Flogger

January 17, 2021 By Christmas Bunny 4 Comments

When I began building floggers, I didn’t have the benefit of learning from anyone how to do it. I spent time searching out various tutorials, print and video, and got frustrated. What I had in my head wasn’t what I was seeing anywhere. Much like when I cook, I had to take what I saw as the best parts of lots of different recipes, keeping the necessary ingredients while making the taste my own.

Locals in our community have opportunities to craft implements with me on occasion, when I’ve offered a course, complete with leather, tools and guidance. I always promise them their first will turn out light years better than mine did – some goodwill sweatpants cut into strips and glued on a piece of dowel.

How I build

I start by deciding what I want my flogger to feel like (see my prior articles for more information about that). Suffice to say, the amount and texture of the leather I use will depend greatly on what I’ve decided.

Once I’ve decided what the feel should be, I examine my larger piece of leather to determine where the size piece I have chosen will best fit. Sometimes the size of the larger piece will force my hand, if it has limitations.

Once I have cut my piece or pieces away from the larger hide, I often switch my focus to the handle. Braiding works best in multiples of four, so if I’m going to braid the handle I need to find leather scrap long enough to cut into strips that will braid well. If I’m stitching, I measure with a great deal more exactness, cutting a rectangle the precise size I will need to fully cover my handle. Waxed thread works best with leather, though I will occasionally wax my own so I can customize my options a little better.

Handle complete, I create the section of falls. I know some people will use a piece of leather the length of their handle, then split falls off, but I prefer about an inch of overlap from the base of the handle rather than wrapping the full length. I measure twice down the row, marking my future cuts with tailor’s chalk. It turns out chalk works well on most leathers, since it just rubs off easily. I advise students to measure from the same side when they mark, to avoid slanted cuts if the body of their piece is uneven.

Once falls are marked and cut, I use glue on the band of the fall section and wrap it around the base of the handle. For most, upholstery tacks finish that portion. Some may want to upgrade to knotwork over their fall section, but that’s done more easily with a video tutorial. There are some excellent ones on YouTube, though I personally find Viper’s video tutorial to be the best out there. I believe he has them for sale in his etsy shop.

The handle strap is next, and I often cut the strap, end cap circle and covering wrap all at once. Some people think the end strap is for your wrist. I’ll agree to disagree with those folks. I build mine shorter, clearly hanging straps, though I can make them longer for those who request that. This top section can also be covered with knotwork for those who prefer, or finished with tacks as well.

The one thing I emphasize is that the devil is in the details. My wraps start from the same side of the handle. I position hanging loop straps equidistant from what I determine is a centerline on the handle. I make sure diamonds in braided handles line up, and stitching is in a straight line rather than wandering.

When my students finish, I warn them about set times for their glue. Test swings are one thing, but attempting a full scene with an implement whose glue hasn’t finished curing can lead to things shifting or even coming apart. They don’t always listen, but at least I gave them the information.

I believe building implements for one’s own bag is a skill everyone can learn. What I have noticed, however, is that those who spend the time to try it once begin to appreciate the pricing of handcrafted implements a little more. They come to understand the time and effort which goes into the creation of each piece.

Starting The New Year Right

January 10, 2021 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

two beautiful slave girls lying in bed awaiting their master — via stock.adobe.com

Interestingly enough, their polycule involved the men as metas. Both women were submissive to the men, yet together things just work well between them. The men liked each other quite well, which meant group vacations and dinners worked nicely, the men having their time with the girl each was dating, with the girls holding hands between them. They were excited to ring in the new year together.

The men had decided on whips, Lacy’s Master whipping her front surgically, while Maggie’s Daddy placed his strikes neatly along her upper back and ass cheeks. By the end, both women were crying, punctuated by sharp screams. The men chuckled and wandered off to the kitchen to pour champagne to toast the changing of the year while Maggie crawled on all fours over to her nude and recently striped girlfriend. She playfully licked Lacy’s nipple. “Want me to lick your boo boos?” she teased.

Lacy slapped Maggie’s ass, not terribly hard, but hard enough to make her hiss. Both girls began to laugh, curled around one another on the floor.

The men returned shortly, passing out glasses. The girls only got a splash, just enough to toast with. None of them were fans of mixing alcohol with endorphins, but they didn’t want to miss the possibility of good luck for the next year, particularly with as rough as the past year had been.

The seconds ticked by and the men claimed their kisses at midnight, the women acknowledging their dominance first, then turning to kiss one another after. They all understood the relationship structure quite well.

The four of them stayed awake a while longer, laughing, talking, and watching fireworks over the water, then the men excused themselves to their separate room, leaving the women the rest of the house to themselves.

Normally neither of them was particularly aggressive, but the men had taken care of the warm-up for them. Nestled on the couch together, Lacy deftly adjusted a leg and slid into Maggie’s embrace, who responded by wrapping her legs around Lacy. They kissed passionately, happy to have the time together.

Maggie kissed her way down to Lacy’s striped and perky breasts, avoiding the lash marks. She rolled one of Lacy’s nipples into her mouth. She grazed the pierced nipple with her teeth before working it just the way she knew Lacy liked it. Lacy’s head fell back as she moaned, reaching for her partner to maintain their connected touch. Lacy tucked a strand of Maggie’s hair behind her ear, then slid that same hand teasingly down the side of her neck, the outer curve of her breast, and down to her spread thighs.

Lacy’s fingers touched wetness and she moaned again in response. Maggie hummed her pleasure, opening her thighs slightly wider for exploration. Lacy pressed her fingers into Maggie’s wet cunt, delighting in just how much wetness pooled there. She slid a glass carrot in to replace her fingers. “How’s that, baby?” she murmured. Maggie nodded breathlessly as she hummed again.

“I want to taste you,” she whispered in response, nudging Lacy to her untouched back, sliding off the edge of the couch to position between Lacy’s legs. She lowered her mouth to Lacy’s clit, sliding a finger in just as easily as the carrot had slid inside of her. “You’re so wet,” she breathed, sliding fingers against Lacy’s g-spot. “I want to make you cum,” she said shyly, licking at the engorged clit and feeling glass between her own thighs.

She worked hand and mouth until Lacy squirted her orgasm, squeezing that dildo rhythmically as her desire for Lacy combined with the continued rubbing sensation triggered her own orgasm. She climbed back onto the couch, feeling sleep pull at her.

They’d already arranged the sectional into a bed shape, stuffies and all, and nestled together they drifted to sleep, content in their own little world.

Low Protocol And Power Exchange

December 12, 2020 By Christmas Bunny 2 Comments

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It began in baby steps. Our dynamic was very much an experiment, with each movement forward and each step of the way tested before the full weight of the relationship was brought to bear upon it.

It was a scary amount of power to give up. I came into the relationship a business owner, and began a second venture about a year in. Handing the metaphorical reins over to another when my hard work of years was on the line was a truly terrifying thing to even contemplate. It came part and parcel of our TPE, however, and I had to trust that he would allow me to continue to make decisions without his interference.

Part of owning a business is having to interact with others in various ways, be it as the customer service representative who is discussing a potential order, as the cashier handling payment, as the scheduler booking classes, as the manager attending to someone’s satisfaction, as the artisan building product and providing updates, or in educational capacities, both online and in-person. That’s a lot of hats, and they require a certain amount of freedom of action on my part. It has necessitated trust on his part that I would make decisions and behave in ways of which he would approve without having to have specific protocols in place to govern those actions.

As someone who has grown to become firmly embedded in my local community, I see an incredibly wide variety of levels of protocol. Some are required to ask prior to leaving the presence of their master, some are required to follow protocols which govern their interactions with others in various settings. Perhaps it is a set protocol involving carrying packages or interacting with waitstaff or asking permission prior to speaking and touching friends or strangers within kink settings. Interestingly enough (and this is a conversation I have had with friends on occasion, because many of us are fascinated by the differences in how relationships are built), many of the dynamics I have observed which involve a small business seem to run with a lower degree of formality and protocol, perhaps out of that same necessity.

If I must receive permission to speak to individuals prior to doing so, even ones of specified gender, and my partner is away from our vendor table, I would quickly become ineffective as a merchant. I would be unable to answer questions or complete a sale. The same holds true of online interactions. It would effectively make the business I run hobbled during his regular work hours until he could handle the aspects I was not permitted to attend to without him. That would lead to additional stress, and I ask a great deal of him as my business partner already. While he does make those decisions, he has chosen to leave many of the finer details up to me, limiting the majority of his participation to financial decisions such as inventory purchases, and to customer interactions in order to keep me from using my energy and focus up in those areas rather than in completing projects.

The leaves much of our dynamic very informal, from a protocol standpoint. Fortunately, that works well for our personalities and the way we fit together. While I sometimes feel that our low protocol interactions can be mistaken for a more casual relationship, which can bring with it a feeling of being less than, I remind myself that some of those stares may be from envy for what may appear to be a higher level of freedom.

Make no mistake, however. He holds full authority over me, regardless of the appearance of casualness our low protocol level may give outsiders. It is so important for us all to remember that each relationship, each dynamic forms as it works best for the individuals in question. For some, that may mean there are specific rituals and protocols dictating large portions of their actions. For others, such as us, that total power exchange may rely more on the granted authority of the top-of-slash rather than any formalized behaviors. We all have to determine what works best for us as individuals and as couples or relationship groups, and build from that foundation.

Keeping Our Community Saf-er During the Pandemic

December 5, 2020 By Christmas Bunny 3 Comments

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These are unprecedented times indeed. Regardless of where people stand in regards to the pandemic itself, one thing we should be able to agree on is the impact it is having on our kink communities. Individuals are struggling with finances, and dungeons who rent or own space are likely struggling to maintain the financial commitment for these spaces without large events funding them.

I have been peripherally involved with some local efforts to create safer ways to restart events, though most of the credit for the hard work of researching and implementing has to go to the local dungeon owner here. The strategies we’ve adopted here may be helpful to others who are looking for ways to kink outside of their homes in safer ways, or who are struggling to maintain their spaces.

Handle Immediate Financial Need

Our first step was mid-May/June when we realized this was going to seriously impact whether or not our dungeon would still be in existence when all of this does finally resume some semblance of normality. We opened a Go Fund Me and dropped the link in our local community space. It was truly humbling to to watch people respond with an outpouring of support in the midst of feeling powerless. Every single donation was appreciated and we raised enough to maintain the rental space through the end of 2020 in that opening drive.

Some of that money went to upgrading the space in ways to make it safer, such as hand sanitizer units, a digital thermometer, a heavy duty sprayer to clean with, and a plexiglass shield for the check-in area. The rest went to keeping the rent current until virus urgency level started to recede in our region. Plans began being made for what we affectionately refer to as LAT parties, or limited attendance and time.

Once we felt safe enough, we rolled out the plan and gave community members opportunities to discuss and make suggestions before any implementation. The owner consulted local experts in the medical field and in engineering and sanitization at every step. He has made transparency his goal, from the way the money is spent, to what all of his procedures are. That transparency has helped people feel safer attending events, since it means they know exactly what to expect.

Opening the Dungeon Again

For indoor events, such as any rope classes or dungeon events there is a clear procedure. Tickets are purchased in advance through Square, which allows an individual to keep their anonymity and credit card information safe, but allows for a comment to be dropped with the user’s scene name so the dungeon knows who will be attending. Attendance is limited to ten individuals, since that was the recommendation as of the time of planning. Any new attendees are sent the membership form and covid waiver that discusses the recommendations for how to handle contact tracing in the event of any incidents (don’t mention fight club, if it is necessary, please contact dungeon owner and he can let others know they need to go for testing). Leading to the door, waiting spots are marked six feet apart. People can peek in the window to see if the prior group is clear of the entryway before entering. Masks are absolutely required while people area present in the building.

Upon entering, guests have a touchless hand sanitizer unit immediately to their right, and are expected to use it prior to moving into the space. They are then greeted and announce their name for verification on the list and to confirm they returned their forms. Stepping forward, the person manning the plexiglass enclosure can remain behind it while reaching around to digitally check the temperatures of each attendee. The CDC states that a reading of 100.4 constitutes a fever, so anyone with a reading there or above is asked to leave (though that has not happened to date). Attendees are then expected to leave the entryway and go down the hallway to the dungeon area.

The dungeon area has been modified from its pre-covid layout. The setup was workable before to allow for whip space between furniture, but has been adjusted to take half of the furniture temporarily out of commission. Those pieces have been turned around or otherwise adjusted so that it clear they are not for use. With a maximum of five couples having scenes at one time, there are a few more pieces available than people, which allow for some equipment choices.

Individuals are permitted to allot their time however they please. They can watch others scenes, they can socialize, or they can choose to indulge in their own scenes. As their time slot nears to a close, a ten minute warning is announced to allow people to wrap up scenes and pack their gear. Once everyone is out, the owner dons protective gear and thoroughly disinfects the entire space with a spray that should not be touched or inhaled, and then clears out for a minimum of twenty minutes, as recommended for usage of that chemical. The sessions are scheduled in two hour blocks with a thirty minute window for cleaning between them.

Because people have freedom to purchase tickets, but they are limited to 10 available ones, a group looking to make sure they are only sharing space with one anther can purchase the entire block of ten when dates and times are released and basically have a private event. For those with immunocompromised partners, that option can be sanity-saving.

Restarting Vendor Events

Because vendor events typically have more of a revolving door type atmosphere, we struggled some with finding the right balance of safety in order to comfortably begin holding those again. For vendors of kink gear and implements, some of them are truly hurting right now after ten months of few to no options when it comes to in-person events. Often, those in-person events tend to be hugely important for clientele, particularly newer community members who may not know what to expect in regards to appearance or quality of offerings. Being able to see and touch items is a vital part of their education, and a piece that has been noticeably absent this year.

We decided to hold our events outdoors, and to require masks. We release an informational document with safety info at the time of advertising these events. We are clear that face shields may not be used as a substitute for masks, due to the most recent research available. Additionally, we hold it in the dungeon’s gated lot so we can limit attendance to two individuals per vendor, and do thermometer checks. We have a security person and someone handling an outdoor handwashing station, stocked by a local soapmaker. Additionally, each vendor has a bottle of hand sanitizer on their table and requires people to use it prior to making contact with any merchandise.

Vendors occupy parking spaces to make things simple. Ones with larger vehicles (vans mostly) park next to the gate to block the view of anyone walking past. They set up tables in the parking spot directly next to their vehicle and are able to space it as they like. Some bring canopies. By alternating car – vendor – car – vendor, we are able to space vendors out nine feet plus add a blockade of the vendor’s car. Vendors remain masked for the duration of the event. One person or germ group may shop a given vendor at a time. A second may wait six feet distant until that group has finished. Additional interested shoppers must browse elsewhere or wait outside of the gate, physically distanced. We encourage anyone who wants to crack a whip to briefly step inside, but other than that and brief bathroom visits, the event is able to operate fully outdoors.

Our first event went well. We didn’t have a high number of attendees, but the ones who came clearly had full intention to purchase from our local people. All the vendors felt satisfied that they were safe and also able to accommodate shoppers. Vending fees are minimal and go directly to the dungeon to help make sure it continues to operate as we move forward.

Neither event is perfect. They don’t have huge attendance. Some people are unwilling to use masks during play and choose not to attend the dungeon events. Some are unwilling to wear them outdoors and choose not to attend the vendor events. Others feel both events are still beyond their risk profile and also choose not to attend. We support their choices either way, but have to move forward in ways that provide the highest level of comfort and safety to the highest percentage of our kink community’s population. As things change, we are doing our best to change with them.

Do you have any additional safety measures your community is taking? Feel free to let us know in the comments.

The Best Impact Implements

November 28, 2020 By Christmas Bunny 3 Comments

sexy Domme with whip — via stock.adobe.com

As a vendor of leather goods, I am often asked many questions. We (collectively) do our best to educate and inform everyone who comes to see us in person, regardless of whether or not they plan to purchase. One of the most common ones I hear: What is the best impact implement?

That’s a tough question on a good day.

I’m a heavy thud gal all the way. One of my absolute favorite implements is one that I built that isn’t for sale – a 36″ bat padded with a special high-density foam and covered with leather. It’s a warm-up and a full scene all in one, no need to change implements. I’m happy as a clam. Want something a little smaller? An elk hide flogger is like a massage in my scene and that works just fine for me. This means that my “best” will often involve soft textures. I also happen to have an eye for high quality implements, so the ones I want will likely cost someone a pretty penny.

Are either of those “the best,” though? Isn’t that subjective? Who am I to say what is your best? I may love thud, but I have many friends and acquaintances who are not fans of thuddy impact at all. Some prefer sting, some love whips, and some have some interestingly specific dislikes of floggers due to the impact of many tails at once.

Unfortunately, given the lack of in-person opportunities we’ve had this year, much of the kink shopping in our local community has transitioned to an online model or local sales chat with contactless pickup. The obvious disadvantage is that as a consumer, we are often unable to fully examine our purchases in advance. Not knowing exactly what an item may feel like can discourage a more expensive purchase. Some have simply opted to avoid new purchases entirely after one experience of disappointment.

Rather than avoiding new purchases, education can provide valuable insight about what we intend to purchase to ensure that we are getting exactly what we think we are ordering. This can be very difficult without hands-on, but I will do my best to provide useful information.

Setting General Expectations and Goals for the Purchase

Are you seeking an implement for a specific body part? Implements designed for genital impact are often smaller and lighter than an implement designed for full-body use. If you purchase one of the smaller ones thinking it is for full-body use, you will likely be disappointed even if the item is of good quality and value for its size.

Do you want the tool to leave marks afterwards? Do you want the tool to not leave marks? Unfortunately for those of us who prefer the thud, objects which provide it will often be less likely to leave mementos. To make that particular quest even more challenging, everyone is a little different. What marks one individual may leave only light traces on another, or may fade by morning. If a Maker is guaranteeing an object will leave marks, be wary. Absolutes are always suspect.

What sensations are you seeking in this implement? Are you looking to obtain something soft that can be used sensually, such as things involving rabbit fur or vegan materials? Are you looking for a specific effect from impact? I tend to prefer breaking down the sting / thud generalization into one that is slightly more descriptive. We categorize things by including a light / heavy descriptor, so we identify them as light sting, heavy sting, light thud, heavy thud, and combination sensations. Therefore, if I am shopping for something I want to be hit with, I am going to avoid things which provide a heavy sting, such as heavier paddles or smaller diameter canes made from harder materials (delrin, acrylic, carbon fiber). Softer textures absorb those inertial effects and create more thud. I’d also avoid things with pointy tips, such as floggers tipped to points, cats with pointed tips, dragon tails, etc. Rounded tipped floggers are more my cup of tea, and I will avoid leathers with shinier / smoother finish. Those finishes will generally come across as stingy. I know that is a bit sad for us thud fans, since those pretty finishes may be metallic or patterned and promise lots of sad later.

Matching Expectation to Reality

Knowledge and information are your friends. Learn about the ranges of sensation available in an implement. Floggers tend to be thought of as thuddy in general, though a skilled Maker can build one in any of the sensation ranges I mentioned earlier. Smooth topgrain leather plus thinner falls (3/8″ for example) plus pointed or snake tips equals a stingy flogger that will welt as easily as a more solid cane. An elk hide flogger that has wider falls (5/8″, 3/4″ or wider), a naked topgrain finish, and is finished with rounded tips is going to produce a softer thud. Thus unsurprisingly, heavier, thicker leathers with similar treatments will begin to create heavier thud sensations. Length definitely matters in an impact implement. Longer flogger falls require a harder swing to keep the falls from separating prior to impact, thus transfer more force through the blow. Want one that is less likely to wrap at lower speeds? Look for shorter lengths, such as 15″ falls. Avoid lengths of more than 20″, since those will require more force.

Keep in mind that softer textures and impact surfaces generally produce thud – leather paddle, floggers with lots of falls, rounded edges made of softer more flexible topgrain leathers or of full or split suede. Harder surfaces and textures generally produce sting – canes, dragon tails, smooth paddles made of wood or acrylic, floggers with firmer, stiffer leather or smooth finished topgrain and pointed tips.

Before you buy!

You can learn a great deal about an item from its description. Is the description lacking? The person selling it may be a reseller rather than a Maker. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask questions. If someone can’t or won’t answer, they may not be the right seller for you. If a flogger description indicates that it is 20″ in length, is that 20″ of total length or 20″ of falls? How long is the handle, how wide are the falls and how many does it have? What type of leather is it made from? Do they list the thickness (or weight) of the leather? Do they mention what type of sensation you may experience from the item? Details are your friend. One measurement and the word “soft” in a description which comes in at one sentence long is personally not enough information for me to give informed consent to an item hitting my ass.

Look for key words. Do they advertise “Genuine Leather”? This is often a term used for leather that is made of scrap which is ground and pressed together. It is still technically leather just as plywood is still wood, it is simply a lower quality option. Look for words such as: split suede – which indicates the bottom layers of hide have been split off; topgrain – which indicates the top layer and will have some type of finish, such as naked (super soft), pebble (textured but flexible); fullgrain – both topgrain and suede split leathers still combined, often thicker than either individually (still variances between animal types); corrected grain – topgrain has had the imperfections sanded off and then has been stamped with a topgrain finish, leaving a less expensive and slightly lower quality product, etc. If you don’t recognize a term, this is a good time to either run a quick google search or reach out to the seller and inquire. When purchasing wooden items, such as paddles, look for the type of wood. You don’t want thinner impact items made from softer woods, like pine or poplar. Hardwoods such as oak, maple, purple heart, and exotics are less likely to break and potentially splinter and cause some unpleasantness for the person receiving impact. The janka hardness scale can be a useful tool. Look for things with a hardness over a thousand, as a general rule.

Is it Artisan made? Is it mass-produced and available for resale on etsy for $20? A $20 flogger may well be worth what is being asked for it, but is much less likely to be tailored for a specific sensation preference, and likely to be made with lower quality materials and workmanship. I tend to advocate purchasing from a builder who is local, or if a local seller is unavailable in your area, from one who handcrafts their implements . Even then, however, levels of skill and workmanship will still vary greatly between craftsmen. If someone has a clear and reasonable understanding of the value of their work, and it is structurally sound, purchasing from them can be a viable option for those looking for implements in lower price ranges rather than from someone whose work may have more flourish and skill but be that much more expensive as a result.

The next thing to look at is workmanship. If the item features a braided handle, is the pattern lined up down the handle? If it has “knotwork,” do all of the parts of the knot seem to be symmetrical? If it has tacks, rivets, or other visible evidence of fastenings, are they lined up in straight lines or is the spacing even? Are they lined up with other parts of the item? Does the hardware appear solid and of good quality? Are edges finished, such as rounding edges on a paddle or burnishing leather edges on a belt, cuffs or a collar? Does stitching appear even?

Do keep in mind that these details do not necessarily indicate a product which is not worth what is being asked for it, or that the item won’t last. Most of those things are cosmetic, though some may be structural. If a paddle has been cut so that the wood grain traverses the handle portion in a perpendicular fashion, this is less stable in a more intense scene than one which has been cut so that the wood grain runs lengthwise down the paddle. If you see spots that appear to be blemishes, do not be afraid to ask for an up-close photo. Most Makers are willing to provide more information and responsible ones are less likely to be willing to sell an item which appears to have questionable structural integrity.

Read reviews of the item if it is one that is available in a standard option, and of the seller prior to purchase. Do reviews indicate that buyers generally received what they expected? Do reviews indicate that the photo was a stock one and the actual item varied greatly in quality?

Look at the photos. Are there close-up photos as well as distance pictures? Is there anything that looks iffy? If you are uncertain, it doesn’t hurt to ask someone who has more experience than you do.

Shop around. Finding a flogger marked at $35 is great, until you look closer and see that it has 10 falls that are each 1/2″ wide (likely that won’t be listed in the description). My super awesome maths skill tells me that’s 5 total inches of leather. If I can buy a different flogger for $45 that clearly lists that it offers 40 falls that are each 1/2″ wide, that’s a much better deal for the price even thought one is more expensive. If you factor in the workmanship and shipping, one may end up being a clear winner when it comes to a long-term investment.

Price point alone does not indicate whether or not a tool is appropriate for you. Not all vendors have a good understanding of how to price their items according to their skill level, labor time and effort, and material costs. This can mean pricing for a given item may range as much as $50 between the low and high end, and the pricing may still seem unevenly distributed across the quality of implements offered at those prices. It may also mean that the same $80 price tag can include a huge variety of offerings when it comes to amount of material, quality of material, and workmanship. Purchasing a less expensive item from a less skilled Maker can absolutely be a viable option as long as it meets your expectations and usage needs for the tool.

Conversations Around Mental Health

November 22, 2020 By Christmas Bunny 3 Comments

These times, am I right? If you’d asked me five years ago, I couldn’t have imagined the person I am today, let alone that this is what my daily life would look like. That’s a difficult thing for just about anyone, let alone overplanners like me.

I’ve always been someone who is pretty even-tempered. Most of my friends have never seen me angry, and I’m often the cheerful one. My partner and I don’t have many areas where friction is likely to occur, and on the off chance that some does, we have systems in our D/s that are designed to handle them.

It’s a good life.

I set this up not to brag, but to make it clear that my struggles with mental health issues since March have been unexpected and completely new territory for us as partners, and for us in the larger framework of our poly sphere. This isn’t to say that I haven’t had issues in my life which needed addressing, but anxiety, depression and other spectres which can be treated chemically were virtual unknowns.

The pandemic has been a learning experience for me, for us, in so many ways. I have the ability to work remotely. It limits my income and my hours, but I made that transition mid-March, shortly after spring break, when my partner also made the transition. We went from seeing one another a few hours every day to sharing office space every single day. That feels as though it requires emphasis. Every. Single. Day.

I’ve read articles that say part of our (as a society) difficulties in relationships are partly because of high stress levels which make people more agitated and partly because when we never leave one another, we can’t miss each other. We don’t have those times to reminisce about the good qualities our partners have, just the constant annoyances.

I’ve been lucky in that area. My nesting partner has few qualities I find obnoxious, so my main struggles have been with fear. I fear the unknown, I fear him contracting the virus and dying, I fear death, and I am afraid of what tomorrow will look like.

In the beginning, that made getting out of bed difficult. I found myself trying to sleep more, or burying my head in a mindless phone game to avoid having to think too much, since thinking always led back to the inevitable unknown. It was a pretty vicious cycle. I devoured news articles since for me, knowlege tends to help me feel more in-control. My partner saw that I was not okay. He began limiting my news intake by making me take time off from those things, hoping to help me find a more even keel. I was having small anxiety attacks when I grocery shopped, so he began finding delivery options that limited my interactions outside of the house. His other partner was isolating for weeks before coming to see him to make sure she wasn’t bringing deadly germs into the house. iMy anxiety levels were off the charts and I had no idea what to do. He saw that I was less productive, but it can be difficult enough to admit to ourselves when we’re not fine, let alone finding the words to admit it to someone else.

It wasn’t until the dam broke that I reached out for help. I had made it through a month and a half of the stormy seas of heightened anxiety when we learned that my daughter would have to return to work in a job which required her to come into physical contact with other people. I started crying and I couldn’t stop, and finally called my general practitioner seeking some kind of medicinal intervention. He prescribed a stopgap, and I finally had to sit down with my partner and try to put my feelings into words.

We moved out that weekend, into a living situation which better lent itself to isolating. We collected the vulnerable members of our family and shored up against outsiders. We left my daughter in our house, and I only had to take the anxiety meds when I left the house to collect groceries. We waited for any word that masks were effective, finally running across a test case of live exposure with the potential for superspread, only to have it bumped from the news. We searched for weeks for more information, relieved beyond measure when it came. It was finally safe to return home.

Going home didn’t mean my anxiety was gone. It meant my partner had to keep an eye on me for signs that I might need to medicate. I explored other possibilities, such as counseling, but talking about my anxieties only served to exacerbate them.

My partner began scheduling time for us in a friend’s pool. It was the most human interaction outside of one another that we’d had for months. We’d go swim, and it was like the stress and anxiety melted away, giving us back our humanity for just a little while. It was like lancing a wound – the poison seeped out. It wasn’t healed, but it improved dramatically.

We’ve had to find ways to steal pieces of “normal.” We’ve found that being able to do so safely has been hugely important to my mental health. As it got cold enough that the pool was less attractive, we moved to the occasional indoor game night with those friends, who were also isolating. We added two other friends to our QuaranTeam, our Perv Pod, and we made arrangements to attend our local dungeon together. The space seemed awfully empty, but before too long, the delicious sounds of four bottoms screeching at non-regular intervals and the cracks of whips and sounds of other impact filled the space in ways our physical presence could not.

Our vacation was cancelled, unsurprisingly. So we made plans with that same group to rent a house on the water down south, drove in a caravan, stopped for groceries, and spent a few days taking turns with cooking, playing board games, and fishing off of the back deck of the house. We are finding ways to regain our joy.

I still have to take my anxiety meds. My Dominant makes sure to keep track of how often I need them, and if it starts becoming more frequent, to check on my mental state more regularly. He’s relaxed some rules for the duration of this – I’m allowed more stuffies in the bed as long as the pile stays on my side, and he let me get a new wardrobe of super fluffy pajama pants to work in.

I still don’t know what tomorrow will look like. I try not to think too hard about that. We’re tentatively planning Thanksgiving with our Germ Pod. Even though I cried when I realized the rest of my family wouldn’t be able to join us, it’s better than it could be, and better than it was back in early June.

I know it can be hard to admit it, but it is so important to ccommunicate mental health challenges to partners. There are so many resources out there, help is available. It just takes sliding one foot forward for that very first step. ‘

Christmas Bunny

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