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In this fiery conversation between Ellen Fisher and her husband, and their friends Amelia and Matt, the two couples discuss and debate the meaning and value of sex, marriage, and monogamous vs. polyamorous relationships.
The coronavirus pandemic has wreaked havoc through every corner of society this year. One business that has received little attention amidst the storm has been that of Pro Dommes. A professional dominatrix is a woman (the occupation is overwhelmingly majority female) who is paid by clients to dominate them. And by dominate, this can of course include any number of a vast range of specific activities under the umbrella of BDSM – such as bondage, whipping, sensation play and so on. This is a perfectly legal business model in most Western societies – aided by the fact that actual sex (and sexual touching) is typically off the menu with professional Dommes.
With businesses across much of America doing their best to avoid contact between people, the business of domination faces unique challenges. Unlike ordering dinner, or attending a meeting, the experience of a BDSM scene (for both top and bottom), and the brain and body high that it can evoke, are intertwined with the connection and chemistry between the participants. And that’s before you even consider the physical touching and proximity inherent in so many BDSM activities (spanking, scratching, foot worshiping to name just a few).
As with most other businesses that involve in-person contact, Pro Dommes’ businesses have been largely shuttered since March.
Most of the pro-Dommes that I coach abruptly stopped their in person sessions, and many were scrambling to move their business to distance domination formats because they had relied primarily on in person sessions before the lockdowns.
-Simone Justice (SimoneJustice.com)
The sentiment was echoed by Princess Marx, a Boston & LA-based Domme:
I stopped in-person sessions immediately when the California lockdown went into place in mid-March. I don’t fuck with deadly viruses.
-Princess Marx (PrincessMarx.ch)
And where various levels of government have been offering assistance to businesses to keep them afloat during these unprecedented times, the nature of the business makes it difficult for Pro Dommes to access any of this aid.
Renowned Dominatrix Isabella Sinclaire says,
These forms of government assistance were not designed for very small businesses of one employee. So I have had to downsize.
-Isabella Sinclaire (IsabellaSinclaire.com)
With leases on two properties – The Ivy Manor, a private dungeon rented for sessions by other pro-dommes, and Demask DTLA, a latex clothing store – the current times are particularly trying.
I closed my Demask DTLA latex clothing store to mitigate the monthly expenses as Landlords were also not willing to negotiate a decrease in rent or offer free rent and we are going into our 4th month of no income. I have two business rents. The store and my studio which cost $5000 a month in rents combined. Moving into July, that’s $20,000 of rent due with no income. It is an impossible scenario for a small business but I’m trying.
-Isabella Sinclaire (IsabellaSinclaire.com)
Of the Dommes we spoke with only Lady Sophia, a Chicago-based Dominatrix, had been able to benefit from one of the government assistance programs. She was granted Disaster Assistance loan from the federal Small Business Administration, which is separate from the more widely known Paycheck Protection Program.
I have to tell you, when the funds showed up in my bank account I almost didn’t believe it was real. It’s important to note that the Disaster Assistance relief loan that I received is a loan. This is money that still needs to be paid back. The good news is that the interests rate is very low and the monthly payments are also very reasonable.
-Lady Sophia (LadySophia.com)
For many Dommes who aren’t tied to property leases, their businesses have shifted exclusively online while the pandemic rages.
“Online sessions have been a big part of what I do for a few years now, but I don’t think even I fully realized how big of a part. I feel very lucky that I had things set up like this before the quarantine – if I hadn’t, My life would look very, very different.” says Princess Marx.
Justine Cross, LA Domme and owner of private venues Dungeon East and Dungeon West, similarly commented,
Luckily for me, I was able to pivot my real time with clients into online sessions. It was a lot of work, but I felt like it was the safest and best option. Not only have I adapted, I also created a class for others to convert their real time clientele to online. Meanwhile, Dungeon East and Dungeon West remain very much open for private rentals – things are very much thriving despite the pandemic.
-Justine Cross (LosAngelesBDSMevents.com)
For some Dommes, the move to online has been so positive that they plan to make it permanent. Dominatrix Lila Sage said:
In the comfort of their own home, people feel more at ease and able to drop into deeper states of relaxation and submission. Since my work as an Inspiratrice and Hypnotist is focused on creating sensations in the body through the mind, I can take people on fantastic journeys through imagery and their senses. I am finding new depths with clients online that they have never experienced before.
-Lila Sage (MissLilaSage.com)
For other Dommes and their clients however, online sessions are a temporary measure and no substitute for the real thing.
Isabella Sinclaire summed up this perspective:
“Everyone that works beside me has moved to online platforms and online networking. But the enjoyment and income will never compare to the in person experiences.”
-Isabella Sinclaire (IsabellaSinclaire.com)
Looking ahead, there will eventually come a time when the virus has subsided enough for people to resume their usual activities – exactly when and how will be a personal choice for each individual.
Princess Marx had been preparing a plan for reopening prior California’s new surge of COVID cases. “Well, I thought I was all set to re-open (with lots of safety precautions in place), and then California’s case count started going up!”
I developed a 3-step screening protocol for re-opening (in addition to My usual screening protocol): 1) a phone session to get to know each other, 2) testing done within 3 days of our session, and 3) an optional tele-health screening, offered by a medical professional friend of Mine.
In addition, I had 3 new rules for play: 1) a temperature check at the door, 2) both parties required to wear masks, and 3) no direct-contact foot kissing/worship (though boot or shoe worship might have been okay)
Might it adversely affect the session experience? Sure. Wouldn’t it be nice to be face to face and getting My feet worshipped? Absolutely. But am I willing to stake My life on seeing a submissive’s face? Absolutely fucking not.
-Princess Marx (PrincessMarx.ch)
Do you work in the world of kink or sex, and interested in being quoted for future articles? Or do you have a story about how COVID has impacted the world of kink in some way? Email us at kinkweekly@gmail.com.
Im Harley Fire I’ve feel into the industry in 1997. When I started a cable access TV show called Harley’s Video Party where I broadcast from a strip club in LA’s San Fernando Valley and interviewed the weekly featured porn star. The show lasted for 3 years and I started getting into shooting scenes and making content on Video tape. That led to doing another cable show that was broadcast in France. During the years I’ve had numerous radio shows from FM/AM radio to podcasts on the internet. During the years I’ve covered many adult Red Carpets Including the AVN Awards, Xbiz Awards and the XRCO Awards and countless others as a Red Carpet Host. But one thing was always consistent my love of naked women and photography. I got into photography in high school and my graduation present was a Pentax camera that was 100% manual. The following year in collage I started taking photography classes. Up til about 4 years ago it was mostly a hobbie for me. It was then I decided I want to shoot full time if I could. My goal is to shoot high quality nude and erotic work. That is up to magazine and gallery standards. Here are examples of recent work. I am located in Las Vegas where these are so many great locations. I shoot women, men, couples erotic events. I believe the key for getting get photos is having a model who open minded and sexually free. That with a creative person behind a camera can create some powerful art.
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Have some kinky news to share? Tell us about any upcoming BDSM events, new products, dungeon openings / closings, collarings, kink in mainstream media, and anything else you think kinky folks might be interested to hear about. Send your tips through to kinkweekly@gmail.com, and it might just end up on next week’s “This Week in Kink.”
Welcome to the Darkside: A BDSM Primer is a valuable tool for anyone wanting to learn more about the BDSM lifestyle, and veterans will likely find points for deeper thought or discussion.
After reading this book, you will be better equipped to both understand and navigate within this lifestyle, as you delve into the pleasurable and unparalleled world… of BDSM.
Where can readers can find the book?
The book is currently available for pre-order at most chain and independent bookstores.
The On Sale Date is 17 March 2020.
Author Bio:
Rajan Dominari is a well-known educator and consultant on the subject of BDSM and other relationships, and has been part the BDSM lifestyle since his early teens.
Rajan started his blog, ‘Dominant Desires’ in 2012, as a way to voice his opinions on observations within the BDSM lifestyle. The website went on to build a following of thousands, helping tens of thousands discover BDSM, learn how to build better relationships with their partners, and learn more about their communities.
When he’s not trying to figure out what to write about next, you can find him having a gin and tonic, watching a ridiculous amount of videos on YouTube, or thinking of beating a beautiful body. Originally from London, England, Rajan currently lives in Chicago, IL.
Links:
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/
Author Website: http://www.rajandominari.com
KINKY KARAOKE PLAY PARTY!!!
Come SING on STAGE!
Come SING along from the TABLES!!
Come BEAT some BOOTY while friends sing to the BEAT of their favorite song!
Have a drink with FRIENDS and get SILLY!
That’s right….KARAOKE NIGHT AT THE DUNGEON!! Jenn / lostnfound1 is excited to host this super fun play party! 18+
Fantastic professional Karaoke DJ will be in the house and on stage!!
Special performances of “The Singing Masochist”! Come see who my songbird will be!!
This is a great fun night for anyone – but also a wonderful opportunity to bring friends who have been scared to walk inside a dungeon. Karaoke spans across the kink and vanilla divide!!!
Event Page: https://fetlife.com/
Group page for updates: https://fetlife.com/groups/
So whether you love karaoke, want an excuse to get out and play or want to have a great night doing BOTH – this party should be a BLAST!!
COST: $20 at the door plus whatever you spend at the bar.
Where: Sanctuary LAX 10914 S. La Cienega Blvd, Lennox, CA 90304
Food and snacks will be provided but feel free to bring stuff to share if you’d like!
There will be a cash bar for those that are 21+ – yet I remind you to drink and play responsibly! If you get sloshed you may very well be asked to get a ride home.
This will be a regular OPEN PLAY PARTY – which means it will have less restrictions than Club Awakening. Edge play is allowed as long as you get the ok from a DM. However, it is NOT a Member Only party – therefore – NO bodily fluid exchange (aka no genital/genital or oral/genital contact) and no penetration.
About the venue:
Sanctuary Studios LAX is proud to have been named “Best Dungeon in Los Angeles” by TimeOut Magazine – February 2016
Sanctuary LAX is a Los Angeles dungeon located within close proximity to LAX. It features a state of the art, air-conditioned facility completely rebuilt from the ground up under the direction of Mistress Cyan. Formerly known as Passive Arts, Sanctuary Studios LAX is the largest Dungeon in Los Angeles with more than 7000 sq ft. and a 1500 sq. ft. main room. The location features many rooms (both large and more intimate), high ceilings, and a large variety of dungeon furniture. It is complete with an outdoor smoking patio and a stage in the main room with plenty of seating.
Facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/
Fetlife Kinky Karaoke Play Party Group page: https://fetlife.com/groups/
Fetlife event page: https://fetlife.com/events/
New to kink? Not new but want to brush up on skills or just enjoy a play party with fresh energy? CLUB AWAKENING is what you’re looking for!
Club Awakening is a party that was designed for newbies in the BDSM scene. It’s been a monthly party since March 2016 at Sanctuary LAX. This party includes 4 set tasting booths plus one surprise booth each month. The set booths are hands on play (spanking, face slapping, etc), crops/canes/paddles, flogging, and rope. You can either feel what these things feel like as a bottom or learn how to do these things as a Top – or both! We even have several volunteer practice bottoms to lend a helping hand (aka butt) so you can practice even without a play partner. Other volunteers float the venue to answer questions and help point you in the right direction. Don’t miss the “Newbie Orientation” after party announcements!
There are also 2-3 vendors and a midnight raffle – with multiple prizes to win! We provide a coat and bag check for a nominal fee as well as a fun photo booth where you can get pics taken of you and your friends to commemorate the night!
You can get DISCOUNTED pre-sale tickets or pay at the door! (see below for links)
About the venue:
Sanctuary Studios LAX is proud to have been named “Best Dungeon in Los Angeles” by TimeOut Magazine – February 2016
Sanctuary LAX is a Los Angeles dungeon located within close proximity to LAX. It features a state of the art, air-conditioned facility completely rebuilt from the ground up under the direction of Mistress Cyan. Formerly known as Passive Arts, Sanctuary Studios LAX is the largest Dungeon in Los Angeles with more than 7000 sq ft. and a 1500 sq. ft. main room. The location features many rooms (both large and more intimate), high ceilings, and a large variety of dungeon furniture. It is complete with an outdoor smoking patio and a stage in the main room with plenty of seating.
Facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/
Fetlife Club Awakening Group page: https://fetlife.com/groups/
Fetlife event page: https://fetlife.com/events/
Pre-sale DISCOUNTED TICKETS: https://
New to kink? Not new but want to brush up on skills or just enjoy a play party with fresh energy? CLUB AWAKENING is what you’re looking for!
Club Awakening is a party that was designed for newbies in the BDSM scene. It’s been a monthly party since March 2016 at Sanctuary LAX. This party includes 4 set tasting booths plus one surprise booth each month. The set booths are hands on play (spanking, face slapping, etc), crops/canes/paddles, flogging, and rope. You can either feel what these things feel like as a bottom or learn how to do these things as a Top – or both! We even have several volunteer practice bottoms to lend a helping hand (aka butt) so you can practice even without a play partner. Other volunteers float the venue to answer questions and help point you in the right direction. Don’t miss the “Newbie Orientation” after party announcements!
There are also 2-3 vendors and a midnight raffle – with multiple prizes to win! We provide a coat and bag check for a nominal fee as well as a fun photo booth where you can get pics taken of you and your friends to commemorate the night!
You can get DISCOUNTED pre-sale tickets or pay at the door! (see below for links)
About the venue:
Sanctuary Studios LAX is proud to have been named “Best Dungeon in Los Angeles” by TimeOut Magazine – February 2016
Sanctuary LAX is a Los Angeles dungeon located within close proximity to LAX. It features a state of the art, air-conditioned facility completely rebuilt from the ground up under the direction of Mistress Cyan. Formerly known as Passive Arts, Sanctuary Studios LAX is the largest Dungeon in Los Angeles with more than 7000 sq ft. and a 1500 sq. ft. main room. The location features many rooms (both large and more intimate), high ceilings, and a large variety of dungeon furniture. It is complete with an outdoor smoking patio and a stage in the main room with plenty of seating.
Facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/
Fetlife Club Awakening Group page: https://fetlife.com/groups/
Fetlife event page: https://fetlife.com/events/
Pre-sale DISCOUNTED TICKETS: https://
Come SING on STAGE!
Come SING along from the TABLES!!
Come BEAT some BOOTY while friends sing to the BEAT of their favorite song!
Have a drink with FRIENDS and get SILLY!
That’s right….KARAOKE NIGHT AT THE DUNGEON!! Jenn / lostnfound1 is excited to host this super fun play party!
Fantastic professional Karaoke DJ will be in the house and on stage!!
Special performances of “The Singing Masochist”! Come see who my songbird will be!!
This is a great fun night for anyone – but also a wonderful opportunity to bring friends who have been scared to walk inside a dungeon. Karaoke spans across the kink and vanilla divide!!!
Event Page: https://fetlife.com/events/
Group page for updates: https://fetlife.com/groups/
So whether you love karaoke, want an excuse to get out and play or want to have a great night doing BOTH – this party should be a BLAST!!
COST: $20 at the door plus whatever you spend at the bar.
Where: Sanctuary LAX 10914 S. La Cienega Blvd, Lennox, CA 90304
Food and snacks will be provided but feel free to bring stuff to share if you’d like!
There will be a cash bar for those that are 21+ – yet I remind you to drink and play responsibly! If you get sloshed you may very well be asked to get a ride home.
This will be a regular OPEN PLAY PARTY – which means it will have less restrictions than Club Awakening. Edge play is allowed as long as you get the ok from a DM. However, it is NOT a Member Only party – therefore – NO bodily fluid exchange (aka no genital/genital or oral/genital contact) and no penetration.
About the venue:
Sanctuary Studios LAX is proud to have been named “Best Dungeon in Los Angeles” by TimeOut Magazine – February 2016
Sanctuary LAX is a Los Angeles dungeon located within close proximity to LAX. It features a state of the art, air-conditioned facility completely rebuilt from the ground up under the direction of Mistress Cyan. Formerly known as Passive Arts, Sanctuary Studios LAX is the largest Dungeon in Los Angeles with more than 7000 sq ft. and a 1500 sq. ft. main room. The location features many rooms (both large and more intimate), high ceilings, and a large variety of dungeon furniture. It is complete with an outdoor smoking patio and a stage in the main room with plenty of seating.
Facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/
Fetlife Kinky Karaoke Play Party Group page: https://fetlife.com/groups/
Fetlife event page: https://fetlife.com/events/
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