As far as sexual desires and fantasies go, BDSM is considered one of the more popular choices (thanks, 50 shades!) From bondage to discipline and erotic practices, it takes many forms. While BDSM dating proves to be extremely fulfilling, it’s evolved with the changes in dating and lifestyles in general. However, the changes come in the form of new wave practices, but what is the difference between old school BDSM and new wave practices?
Does Old School BDSM Still Remain in the Community?
Bondage dating might have changed as the ideas and minds of people have changed with society. Despite this, there are many people who are still following the old traditions of bondage dating of one partner unquestionably dominating the other. There’s no denying that the new, more humane forms of this fetish provide new opportunities for people to explore their needs in a way that gives them a level of control that differs from traditional relationships or fetishes.
Some modern, younger people might consider old-school BDSM quite brutal in some respects. The boundaries are pushed to their limits, but both participants understand what they’re getting themselves involved in. The strict rules are followed and obeyed, too, giving no room for movement in the submissive partner. Once the rules were implemented, they were understood and taken at face value, proving that old-school BDSM really did go that much further. Some might consider BDSM a fetish that goes too far, especially when considering the older rules and boundaries.
Furthermore, there was no give and take when it came to the submissive’s rights to change something. Once the rules are agreed upon, the dominant partner ensures that they are followed, which means that the submissive partner has to do as they are told. What this means is that the experience takes the old-fashioned route, and no changes are made. However, times have changed, and with most things in life, a new wave of BDSM has emerged.
What Embodies the New Wave and the Reasons for its Emergence?
We now live in a more accepting and understanding world whereby people have more rights and views when exploring new things. This is particularly true when it comes to BDSM. Culture plays a significant role in shaping kinks because more people are connecting like never before. This means that a greater level of acceptance and understanding is required to ensure that specific boundaries are not crossed. This has caused a new wave of BDSM to emerge.
However, while men once had dominance over women, we live in an equal society where this way of thinking is no longer apparent. Therefore, taking care of partners from a psychological aspect is crucial because mental health is now an important part of our lifestyle. Let’s imagine the situation: someone could be intrigued by a particular kink and want to try it out, but the whole experience leaves them struggling with mental issues. This has meant that aftercare forms an important aspect of new wave practices after sex. As this fetish can really become rough and brutal, taking care of partners really is important. It’s not about a lack of care because, during the experience, it’s about fulfilling needs, but once it has ended, people are required to check on partners to ensure they’re safe, well, and feel at ease with the overall experience.
Despite this, the arrangement becomes more formal when you meet guys and gals who practice new, modern BDSM. The understanding of boundaries, pain thresholds, and what’s morally right or wrong is a prominent feature of BDSM in a modern world. This means that people are now openly discussing the arrangements prior to partaking in kinks involving domination and pain. This involves discussing what’s expected, what’s going to happen, and what to expect. This discussion before embarking on a journey of BDSM is vital to ensure that both partners enjoy the experience. The conversation doesn’t end there because it also takes place during the arrangement. This gives both people the opportunity to inform each other of their concerns or wishes, which can work to enhance the experience or slow things down. Of course, stop words and safe words are also a part of this arrangement because of cultural differences, boundaries, and what people are fully comfortable with. Safewords are designed to give people control over how far things should go. If the situation evolves to a point where it becomes something more, then the stop words can be used to bring the experience to an end. All of these things are new wave practices that have now become a part of BDSM in a modern world.
BDSM has changed, but that’s expected given the society that we live in. New wave practices are considered safer and provide more control of both partners’ situation, which is no bad thing as that can mean that things become a lot more enjoyable.
Linda Raley is a Psychology Faculty student, a freelance writer on sex and relationships, and a relationship beginner psychologist-consultant.