The idea of having a long-term relationship with a sex worker can be intimidating in many ways. Besides regular dating problems every couple has, you have to face the fact that the person you love is sharing their body with other people. Apart from that, there is a social stigma on everyone who makes money with sex.
Research conducted in 2015 showed that about 78% of women reported that overall sex work affected their relationships in a negative way. About 77% of all sex workers decided to stay single due to their job. So is dating a sex worker possible? Yes! However, choosing this kind of life can bring many challenges. Here you will find some of the most important things that can impact your relationship when you decide to pursue a sex working career.
It may come as no surprise, but the main problem in dating a sex worker is jealousy. Many people can’t accept sharing their partner with other people. It is difficult for them to see sex work as regular work, like any other. Society still perceives sex as an intimate thing you should only do when you are in a long-term relationship or after marriage. The hardest part for any sex worker is coming out and being honest about what they do for a living. Nevertheless, we have to take into consideration that in our society, even purchasing from stores like The Adult Toy Shop is sometimes frowned upon.
The first reaction after you tell your date that you are a sex worker may be really hard. It’s tough to find people who will react positively. It often leads to ending the whole relationship, fights, and slut-shaming. Problems often arise when the partner has issues with the entire nature of the job.
On the other hand, not every sex work is seen identically. Working as a cam girl or a stripper isn’t as “big of a deal” as having intercourse with clients. More people can accept their partner selling their nude photos or videos anonymously than them meeting clients in person.
Jealousy is one of the reasons many sex workers decide on having a relationship with other sex workers or non-monogamous people. Open relationships will be more effective, as the other person will be free to sleep with other people too.
It is a common belief that sex workers won’t have sex with their partners. It may seem logical for some people, as most of us finish the job and do different things in our free time. It may be probably true for some sex workers, but many feel differently doing it with clients and with their partners. The emotional bond can change the whole nature of sex, as you feel close both physically and mentally.
Apart from that, not many sex workers work every day. Being your own boss allows you to choose where and when you want to work. Some women sex workers said that their work enabled them to experience much deeper intimacy with their partner and that it increased their self-esteem and confidence, resulting in a much bigger sex drive.
Additionally, some sex workers say that many people start projecting their fantasies on them after finding out about their job and start treating them like sex workers instead of dates. They tend not to be serious about the relationship.
Many sex workers generally feel that they can’t be honest about their jobs. Lying to a partner is one of the worst things, and it can wreck your relationship. They have to lie daily to strangers that ask them what kind of job they have. Often they lie to their families, so the last thing they may want is to lie to their other half. It can cause fights, distrust, and create barriers, so you won’t be able to feel safe anymore.
Starting a new relationship can be especially difficult, as being a female sex worker has a huge stigma. People make a lot of assumptions about dating sex workers, from expecting various diseases to drugs and lack of self-worth. Sex workers are afraid that there is too much judgment, and it may be to big of baggage to handle in the first few weeks or months of a relationship.
The Bottom Line
Being a sex worker is challenging, and adding relationships to the equation can create a destructive mix. The whole nature of sex work will always impact every couple, so many sex workers decide to stay single for life or date only other sex workers.
Fortunately, you can find happy couples when a partner is very accepting of the job and doesn’t project their fears on their relationship. However, it requires lots of self-confidence, empathy, and open-mindedness, which not many people have. As always, communication and honesty are everything, and it works both ways. Finding a good person is not as easy as some may think!
Maze is a lifestyle writer, dominant in life, submissive in other activities. She participates in shibari workshops and works as a BDSM model for both workshops and photoshoots. Her writing focuses on positive sexuality, and her goal is to educate people on safe sex, kinks, and accepting your whole personality. Maze wants to see a world where no one will be frowned upon for expressing themselves or their hobbies.