sindy_monroe

Black Mirror – A Negative BDSM Portrayal? Sound Off!

February 19, 2018 By sindy_monroe 4 Comments

I’m a huge Netflix buff. I binge watch series after series on a regular basis. Black Mirror on Netflix has been one of my favorite guilty pleasures from season 1. They released a new season recently and I binge watched all the episodes in one day, but one episode in particular caught my eye. It was the Black Museum episode.

Without spoiling anything about the entire episode itself, I really just wanted to touch on the BDSM and pain element that was presented in this episode. But first, let me provide a brief description of what happened before getting to the portrayal of pain and BDSM.

**** POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD

A doctor is using an implanted device that helps him feel the pain of others, thus allowing him to properly diagnosis and heal them. He also uses the device to have sex with his girlfriend to feel her pleasure, as well as his own. Sounds great, right?

However, a patient passes away while he is connected to them thus switching his brain to view pain as pleasure. He can no longer feel any pleasure unless the person he is attached to is feeling pain. Do you see where this is going now?

The scene in question was one in which the doctor starts to get intimate with his girlfriend. Since he no longer can experience pleasure for pleasure’s sake, he must inflict pain on her in order to feel pleasure for himself. Cut to a scene in the bedroom where the great doctor is spanking his wife from behind, her grunting and gritting her teeth. She is clearly NOT enjoying this. He becomes more and more aggressive until she yells, “Okay, okay! Safe Word, Stop!”

He becomes agitated with her because she has stopped his pleasure. She had consented to trying this rougher sex, hair pulling, choking and butt slapping but it was all too much for her and she was not into it at all. He asks her to stay and apologizes to her but then negates his apology by beginning to hurt her again, at which point, she leaves for good. The episode gets more absurd when it comes to the doctor and his growing relationship (nay, obsession) with pain, but I’ll stop with just this scene.

I find it interesting to draw attention to movies, shows and images of BDSM in the mainstream media. For many folks, this is the only contact they have with the lifestyle. For others, this may be the very thing that ignites their passion for getting into BDSM or exploring some of these kinks that they found arousing.

In my opinion, this portrayal seems awfully negative, but perhaps it isn’t tied to BDSM at all due to the nature of the episode. Maybe this pain and BDSM aspect is completely unnoticed by many viewers and it’s simply tied to psychotic behavior of the doctor. Or, is BDSM getting painted with a very ugly evil brush here?

With the emergence of the 50 Shades of Grey series being released each year in theaters and even the movie Gerald’s Game on Netflix late last year, we are starting to see more BDSM in the mainstream. It begs the question: How is BDSM being portrayed?

We would love to hear your thoughts and responses in the comments below.

FUN FACT: This portion of the episode is taken from a short story by Penn Jillete (of the Famous Penn & Teller Magicians in Vegas) called “The Pain Addict”. According to Wikipedia, “Jillette came up with “The Pain Addict” from this experience, where there would be technology that allowed a doctor to understand what pain a person was suffering, but, as described by Jillett, this guy gets addicted to it and starts beating people to feel their pain. He also goes through S&M and all he wants to do is jack into Jesus on the cross. He wants to feel that pain.” Apparently this story was rejected for being too dark, but perfect for an episode of Black Mirror. If you know anything about the show, you’d see how correct that statement is.

New Year, New Kink?

January 1, 2018 By sindy_monroe Leave a Comment

It’s cliche, but the beginning of the year is still a great time to plan out your goals for 2018. Perhaps this year you want to experiment more, get into a new relationship, go to more dungeons…the world is your oyster. I was looking into my own goals for 2018 and I came across a pretty awesome article, so I thought I would share it with you all.

1. Share a Fantasy
Tell your partner about one thing that turns you on… and tell them during sex. Tell it like a story — a really dirty story. It could be a position you’d like to try, a toy you’d like to use on your partner, a fantasy you’d like to enact, something you’d like to wear, a sexy dream you keep having at night, or simply a story you’d like to tell together while you have sex. But remember, you don’t have to share all your fantasies — some are best (and hottest) when kept to yourself.
2. Switch Roles
If your partner normally initiates sex, then vow to be the one doing all the initiating for a month. If your partner always cuffs you, then cuff them for a change. If your partner does all the talking, speak up for a change. If your partner’s the bottom, hand over the whip. Etc.
3. Be Safe
Resolve to be safe when you kink it up — this might mean staying sober when you’re trying out nipple clamps, using velcro cuffs instead of the police-issue kind, using a safe word when you’re experimenting out of your kinky comfort zone, or simply checking in with each other after a particularly intense bout of roleplaying or spanking. There’s more — so much more! — about all the various safety aspects of kink in our new book, 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink.
4. Try Something That Makes You Uncomfortable
We don’t think that sex should consistently make you uncomfortable, but there are certainly benefits to stepping out of your comfort zone every now and then. Remember how Anastasia had “hard limits” and “soft limits” in Fifty Shades of Grey? (You can read more about these limits in 150 Shades of Play). Sure, Christian Grey was a bit pushy in encouraging her to test those limits, but he was right that she’d enjoy herself. Much better, though, to be your own pushy Mr. Grey. For example, perhaps the idea of talking dirty in bed makes you want to hide under a table and rock gently back and forth. In which case, we happen to think that February is an awesome month to overcome this phobia (whatever your particular angst, our book, 150 Shades of Play, can probably help you best it).
5. Try Something That Makes You Laugh
There’s a lot about kink that cracks us up — the gimps, the spanking skirts, the dungeon monitors, the leashes. But sometimes forcing yourself to get past your desire to laugh can lead to some pretty hot sex. And doing something “for a laugh” gives you permission to go for it — whether it’s having sex in a wig or roleplaying nurse and patient or wrestling each other naked. The worst thing that can happen is that you’re laughing too much to have an orgasm… which isn’t the worst way to spend an evening. And the best? Let’s just say you’ll never look at a hospital gown in the same way again.
6. Learn a New Skill
Yes, we said “learn.” We know there are purists out there who think that the best sex occurs naturally, spontaneously, and without any props or planning. We say, dry spells occur pretty naturally, too. Besides, what’s so unsexy about putting a little effort and forethought into your sex life? 150 Shades of Play can teach you numerous new saucy skills, from tying bondage knots to spanking ’til it hurts so good.
7. Invest in One Decent New Prop
We don’t care what it is, we want you to spend money on at least one new kinky item for your bedroom this year — a tasseled suede whip, perhaps, or silky cuffs, or a vibrating couples’ ring. If you need an excuse, then get your partner something for Valentine’s Day.
8. Go D.I.Y.
Scope out your home for household items that can be repurposed for kinky ends — a wooden spoon is a cane, a spatula or icing spreader is a slapper, clothespins are clamps, a ping pong paddle is a butt paddle, a tie is a blindfold… as they say in the biz, you’re looking for something that’s “pervertible.”
9. Speak Up!
Say a little more in the bedroom. Or just say everything a little differently. Experiment with dirty talk, say what you really want, pick a safeword so you can pretend to say no, send dirtier texts, and leave scandalous voicemails.
10. Don’t (Always) Be Yourself
Monogamy can be a slog — do your partner a favor and be a little different in the bedroom every now and then. This might be as simple as just being a little pushier (or a little more compliant) than you usually are in the sack. Or it could be as complicated as donning an outfit and an accent and playing a role — especially for you former theater majors. [emalndo.com]

I’m already adding a few of these tips to my resolution list for the year. Our awesome contribute BaadMaster also wrote an article earlier in the month that discusses additional resolutions you may also want to make. Check it out here if you missed it.

So, what are you going to do different this year? We’d love to hear about your kinky resolutions in the comments below.

Erotica: Good Girl, That’s All For Now – Part 3

October 24, 2017 By sindy_monroe Leave a Comment

Click Here To Read Part II

As I sat there motion less, I was putty in his hands. My mind was reeling with ideas of what he was going to do to me next.

“I am going to teach you a position that I want you to get into when I call it out. Are you ready to learn?”

I respond nervously with a slight stutter, “Yes…”

“Also, you will always address me as Sir. Is that understood?” He commands.

“Yes…sir” I respond. “Good Girl” he rewards me with a deep kiss.

“Now, what I want you to do is to present yourself to me. What that means is that you are going to show your naked body to me for approval. I will gaze upon your body and continue when I am ready and approve of your form. You will first start by crawling toward me on your hands and knees until you are right in front of me. You will not make eye contact with me but keep your gaze looking forward. Do you understand so far?” He questioned me.

I was listening so carefully, making sure that I was understanding ever word he was saying. What if I forgot something he said. I kept repeating the things he was saying in my mind. Wait, did he just ask me a question? “Yes sir” I responded quickly.

“Good girl. Once you have gotten close to me you will lean up onto your knees, butt on your heels and knees spread wide. I was your arms behind your head, elbows facing outward. I’m going to lead you into this position now so you know exactly what I expect of you. Are you ready?” he said so confident and stern.

“Yes sir.” I responded. He lead me over to my sofa on my hands and knees. Instructed me to stop near the sofa. He had me lean back onto my heels and grabbed my arms and placed them behind my head. He ran a hand down my spine reaching down to touch to upper part of my ass. I flinched and he pulled his hand away. “We’re going to have to work on those reflexes” he said as he walked away from me.

I could feel his eyes burning into me. My skin began to flush. I wanted him to touch me so badly, the anticipation was almost too much. He made he stay in this position for what felt like an eternity as I grew even more eager for his hands to be all over my body.

He then instructed me to stand. We were now face to face. “Look at me” he commanded. So I did.

As soon as my eyes met his he pulled me into him and we began kissing passionately. Without hesitation he picked me off of my feet and carried me into the bedroom, tossed me onto the bed. He took off his clothing and was on top of me in an instant.

He raised my arms above my head and entered me. He used his powerful body against mine. I could feel myself submitting completely to his touch.

This was my first brush with domination and all I knew was that I wanted this to happen again. I wanted more of this, more of him and more of this sex that has me so turned on that I was about to lose my mind.

As my body gave into his and I had one of the strongest orgasms I ever had, I knew I needed this to happen again and oh did it ever…

Erotica: Good Girl, That’s All For Now – Part 2

October 16, 2017 By sindy_monroe Leave a Comment

Note: If you Haven’t done so already, Read Part I By Clicking Here

Did he really just leave me waiting for him only to blow me off? Everything inside me was boiling hot. I was mad but also another feeling I wasn’t quite familiar with before. Why was I so eager to please this man I had only met a few hours before. Why did I even care what he thought?

As I laid there still staring at my phone, just waiting to see those these little dots pop on the screen, I couldn’t believe I had been so fooled by this person. Who was he? Why did he talk to me? Why did I even bother? So many questions swirling through my mind until I fell asleep.

I was rudely awoken by the sound of my phone. A text message? What time was it?

I looked at my screen and the name Hunter appeared on my screen. It was 2:35am. My heart fluttered and pulse quickened.

I opened the text and it read…”Send me your address, I will be arriving soon.”

I paused, staring at the screen. I knew that if I sent my address he would come over and do all the dirty things I had been thinking he was going to do to me earlier. But did I want him to? I felt so brushed off and unimportant earlier. But my need to see him again outweighed my desire to be right.

I texted him my address and eagerly stared at the screen.

His instructions:

Unlock your door for me
Wait on your living room floor, on your knees, facing the door
I want your eyes looking on the ground a few inches in front of you
I will give you further instructions upon arrival.

I followed his instructions. I waited on my living room floor for what seemed like an eternity. I felt slightly foolish for sitting here this way, not really knowing when he might arrive or IF he would arrive at all.

I started to think, what if he just leaves me here all night? What was I going to do then. My mind was racing…until I saw the lights coming up my driveway.

HE WAS HERE!

I nervously adjusted my body to make sure I was in a perfect kneeling position. I heard his car door shut. My heart was pounding in my chest.

He opened the door slowly and shut it behind him.

I continued staring at the spot on the ground he asked me to look at, fighting ever urge in my body to look up at him. I was so excited and nervous all at the same time. Never had I felt these types of feelings before. I felt like I may faint at any moment.

He was silent, except for the sound of his keys against the side table near my front door. I was suddenly aware of every little sound around me. The sound of his footsteps drawing near to me. The sound of the wind outside. The sound of my beating heart in my chest.

He approached me and I began to tense up. “Relax my sweet, sweet girl” he said in that oh so sexy voice. He ran his hand down the back of my head and neck. His touch felt so sweet and my body began to relax again.

“Good girl” he said so confidently. I was already starting to melt in his hands

TO BE CONTINUED

>> Read Part III Now

Erotica: Good Girl, That’s All For Now – Part I

October 9, 2017 By sindy_monroe Leave a Comment

I met him at a bar…

Likely story right? I sat alone, drinking my glass of wine like I normally did on a Thursday night after a long day at work. I often struck up conversation with the bartender or couples sitting near me who had stopped in for a quick bite to eat.

I tried to void talking to single men, mostly because it was the same old story. They had just moved to Los Angeles to be in a band and were excited to be cutting a record at the studio down the street. Music had saved them, yada yada blah blah blah. I could already feel the disappointment I’d eventually face when I’d wake up in the morning and they’d be gone, never to be seen again.

It was like a broken record. That was until the night I met Hunter.

I’ll be honest, he had that same “musician look” – you know, the one where they wear the torn black jeans, shirt just tight enough to make you wonder what’s underneath and a leather jacket even though it couldn’t be more than 76 degrees outside.

As he walks past me the smell of his cologne fills my nostrils and I turn to look at him. Our eyes meet but I quickly look away. “Not another one” I whisper to myself. Be strong.

He sits one bar stool away from me and orders a beer. I can see every girl trying not to stare at him, but failing miserably. Poor fools.

He takes a sip of his drink and I can’t help but watch his lips touch the glass and immediately think about them touching my skin ever so gently. A man like that has to know exactly what to do with lips like those.

Amidst my fantasy he catches me staring at him and says, “Is this seat taken?”

I fumble with my words, but I get something out that must’ve been something resembling a No because he moves into the seat next to me.

He extends his hand, “I’m Hunter. You’re not very subtle, are you?”

“I’m sorry?” I reply. He says, “You were staring right at me. Normally, a woman like you, would at least pretend not to notice me right away.”

I’m intrigued so we begin to talk about where we’ve been and where we’re headed. It’s all the same typical type of conversation. We move closer to one another, he’s less of a stranger now and I can feel the chemistry building.

There are no words for the connection I’m starting to feel with him. I can feel my desire growing, every part of my body just aching for him to touch it. He keeps his distance, but I long for the moment when he breaks the barrier and touches me.

I begin to fantasize about going home with him. I imagine we kiss at the front door and it’s so hot and passionate that we can’t stop. We then burst through the door and tear off each others clothes. He throws me onto the bed and we begin to….he catches me off guard, “May I ask you a question? Have you ever let someone take control for once? I can tell you are a very independent, powerful and sexy woman. You don’t need anyone to tell you what to do, but is there any part of you that wants to just let go?”

I let these words sink in for a moment. The answer was absolutely yes, but I didn’t want to seem too eager. Before I can even answer he grabs my hand and says, “Come with me.”

I don’t know why but I go with him. There’s something about him that I simply cannot resist hanging on his every word.

He leads me out of the bar and through a dimly lit hallway. As we reach the middle of the hallway he turns and presses me against the wall. My eyes are locked on his. There is a part of me that is filled with both pleasure and fear.

“I see potential in you, my dear sweet girl.” He brushes my hair back behind my ear, traces his fingertips down my neck, running his thumb along my jawline. My body goes instantly hot with desire. He continues in a strong but sexy tone, “I want to nod your head yes or no to what I am about to say. I don’t want to hear a word from your mouth, understood?”

I nod yes.

“Good girl.” My body quivers. “Now, I want you to go home, get completely undressed and climb into your bed. You will then wait for me to text you. Is that understood?”

I nod yes.

“Good girl. I want you to reach into my right jacket pocket and pull out my phone. Save your cell phone number in my contacts. Do it now.”

I fumble slightly as I reach into his pocket, pull out his phone and type my number. I hit save and look him in the eyes for my next instructions.

“Good girl. Now put the phone back where you got.”

I return his phone and as I remove my hand from his pocket puts his face close to mine. Our lips are almost touching. He turns my head to the side and whispers in my ear, “Good girl. Now I want you to get in your car and do as I instructed. I will text you when I am ready. Understood”

I nod yes. He releases me and I walk to my car. I drive home recounting what just happened. Why was I so turned on by this idea. This man is a stranger and no one has ever talked to me the way that he did. What am I doing?

I walk into my apartment and without skipping a beat, I take off my clothes, get into my bed and stare at my phone.

After about 20 minutes of pure anticipation my phone dings.

The text reads, “Hello my sweet precious girl. Have you done as I’ve asked?”

I respond with, “Yes, I have”.

“Good girl.”

I can feel myself getting wet with desire as I see that he’s typing his next message to me…

“That’s all for now.”

TO BE CONTINUED

>> Read Part II Now

My First Public BDSM Scene

October 2, 2017 By sindy_monroe Leave a Comment

If you asked me that morning, while I sipped my coffee, if I thought I was going to have the confidence to strip down to nothing but my heels and a sly smile, I would have laughed it off as though you were crazy. I had no idea that this night would be the night that I would stand fully naked and bare in front of a room full of people doing things I had only done in secret behind closed doors.

I was still very new to the BDSM scene but with a very capable partner who I had played with privately before. I was fortunate to be invited to a more private dungeon style event, an absolute first for me in every way. Never had I been to a dungeon, walked around freely naked people, much less watched anyone engage in forms of BDSM that I had only watched in the movies or curiously through porn.

I was nervous just to go to this event. Didn’t know what to wear or how to act, but I trusted my partner would guide me through the process. After all, this was definitely not his first, second or even hundredth time. I was in more than capable hands.

As I walked into the dungeon there were already people with articles of clothing removed. I could see a woman sitting nude out of the corner of my eye, sipping water after having clearly just finished a scene that had her smiling and sweating. Her partner next to her was packing up some of the items that were used. I found myself staring at this chest of toys that was being packed away, a little bummed that I had missed what just occurred.

Oh no! Did I stare too long at this couple? They caught my glance and smiled back at me. I didn’t even realize I was smiling! Had I messed up already and broke a cardinal rule?! I smiled back and we continued on.

I tried not to stare at any one person so they wouldn’t feel nearly as uncomfortable as I felt as I walked through the open area. I could hear paddles smacking against bare skin, cries of ecstasy and the faint smell of cleaning products. Although I can’ be sure but I bet I looked like a kid in a candy store.

We stopped and watched a scene that had been going for quite a while before we arrived. She was screaming out as a vibrator was held against her clitorous. Legs quivering uncontrollably, but the man holding the device there did not let up. Wow was this intense!

Just as we began to walk away my partner asked me a seemingly odd question at the time, “Have you ever played with fire?”. I was confused by the question. He could see the look of confusion on my face and started to explain that fire play was a part of edge play that can be very exciting and arousing. He outlined the process in detail as he has for other activities in the past. I was so green to it all and he knew it.

I was instantly concerned about being burned. Before this night, I had no idea that fire could be arousing outside of it just looking really cool and exciting. After some thorough explanations and addressing my concerns, I agreed to participate.

To say I was nervous was an understatement. I grabbed a second glass of wine and sipped it while my partner grabbed his suitcase full of toys that he brought in upon our arrival. I had seen this suitcase before but still had no clue what all it contains. Tonight, it was going to produce an erotic experience with fire. This was new and very exciting!

I finished my wine and my partner asked me to stand. The scene was starting and all I could think was: Am I really going through with this? Was I confident enough with my partner, my body and my self esteem to do this? Answer: yes!

He asked me to disrobe. This was nothing new for us, I’d been naked in front of him plenty. But not in front of all these people, now starting to gather around. I started with my top. Why had I chosen something that takes so long to take off. All I could think was, don’t get your top stuck around your head or trip over your bottoms as you take them off. It doesn’t need to be sexy, you’re not a stripper, but for the love of god, don’t make it weird!

Finally after successfully removing my clothing without tripping, falling or completely embarrassing myself, I presented myself to my partner for approval. As soon as my eyes met his, I began to forget the other people in the room. His gaze upon my naked body and his approval made me feel right at home where I stood. He began giving me instructions like the many times we had played in private.

I was asked to get on all fours on the bench. I knew what was coming. Spankings, my favorite! I knelt there, butt in the air, ready to indulge in his bare hands against my cheeks. He started lightly at first then progressed to the firm swats I’d grown to enjoy since we started playing together.

He paused for a moment and I could hear him pulling new items out of his bag. In an instant, I felt the wind from his flogger. After the first strike against my back, the people watching slowly faded away. My focus was only on my partner and his dominance of me. Nothing else mattered. I didn’t care about people seeing me naked anymore. I was completely comfortable and fully submitted to him. Nothing else mattered.

After he finished, I knelt there on all fours catching my breathe. I was in complete ecstasy. It couldn’t possibly get better than this, could it? I was then asked to stand, hands above my head holding onto the metal bars above me.

He lit the wands and began tapping them against my body. Blowing the heat from the flames against my skin. The fear was there, but an overwhelming sense of trust and arousal began to set in. I watched him tap the wands against my thighs moving toward more sensitive areas. After a few minutes I couldn’t watch anymore. My legs were trembling, my body responding to every touch. I couldn’t believe it! This fire was turning me on.

We continued with more play in this manner followed by more spankings. When it was over, I had no idea how long we had been playing or how many people were watching.

All I knew, is that I wanted to do it again…

sindy_monroe

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