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Lodbrock Pillory Set Review

August 20, 2018 By slave_bunny 4 Comments

The lovely Lodbrock Pillory Set

When I first laid eyes on the Lodbrock pillory set I was instantly impressed. The case that holds the set looks and feels like a treasured antique or something straight out of Game of Thrones. The magnificent, detailed finishing of the wood of the case and vintage-looking, ornate latches made me instantly want to see what was inside.

The surface of the case feels smooth and is definitely something that will add a lot of class and character to my home. It is a comfortable size at about three feet or so long. It also looks extremely discrete, and I have no qualms about leaving the case in my living room; my friends will never guess that anything kinky is inside it.

Upon opening the pillory set, I first held the flogger and paddle. They too have ornate detailing and I could instantly tell they were made of really good quality leather. They are both very well crafted, and it is obvious that they will hold up for years to come. I was quite excited for my Master and I to play with these items. It is clear these toys had a lot of care put into them throughout the making process and are of high quality. The paddle is flexible and bounces back into place after every swat or spanking (the full name of the paddle is “The Spanker”). The flogger is quite versatile, and the sound and swat are extremely unique due to its double-layered tresses.

The leather blindfold adds another wonderful layer; I love that it has a medieval look to it that compliments the theme of the whole set. It is easy to put on and very comfortable. The blindfold is also very well made and the leather is smooth and inviting. In short, all of the pieces in the set work together very well.

Lodbrock seems to think of everything you need to play in whatever fashion you choose. The set comes with many strong black chains and metal fittings to hang the pillory, even ceiling mounts. It’s great how the set gives kinksters the ability to play both vertically and horizontally with the pillory. The set can be hung from the ceiling at any height too.

In their manual they state that the wood and the metal will age over time, which I think adds so much unique authenticity to the set. Lodbrock is definitely set apart from other companies by their attention to detail and their commitment to creating the most authentic and realistic pieces possible to take you back to medieval times. One could role play easily with this lavish set.

Even the pillory key fits the theme perfectly, and is quite beautiful. The pillory is also extremely sturdy and beautifully crafted; I felt completely safe and secure in it. The set also includes lovely padded leather inlays for the wrists and neck. The inlays definitely add extra comfort, but I like that they are easily removable in case one doesn’t want comfort during play. The inlays are magnetic so they stay in place very well.

Furthermore, I know that Lodbrock sells more than just this set and also sells additional add-ons to the set. I would highly recommend any of their products. They are very reasonably priced, and I am so impressed with what they offer their customers.

Like previously mentioned, their products are well made and clearly handled with care; Lodbrock definitely goes the extra mile to provide the best craftsmanship, attention to detail, and quality that I have come across in a long time.

I highly recommend them, and am very honored to review one of their products.

If you want to purchase amazing toys, sets, and kink equipment definitely check them out. You will not be disappointed!

https://www.lodbrock.com/

https://www.lodbrock.com/custom/index/sCustom/27

https://www.etsy.com/shop/LODBROCK

They also have a brochure if you want a preview!

http://www.lodbrock.com/media/pdf/41/f9/22/pillorybrochure.pdf

More About Lodbrock

A small group of artisans and professionals design and create all the products. They love immersing themselves in the past, so they jumped in and started creating the first line around the mystery and fantasy of a medieval theme. Their hope is to make various fantasy worlds for kinky folks to choose from-perhaps, a latex-orientated Kubrick line next.

They started this to create high quality products at reasonable prices. Currently, there is so much junk on the sex toy market. Although a few people are working hard around the world to produce quality equipment, these individuals are mainly single artisans creating a small number of items. Lodbrock has gathered together enough craftspeople to produce large numbers of handcrafted quality items. They have a distribution centre in California and another one in Germany so they can ship quickly within days. No more waiting weeks or months for good equipment. Custom quality, delivered quickly, and at great prices.

Add them and like them on their social media handles too!

Order your pillory set now!

https://www.lodbrock.com/shop/schlossmeister/furniture/1/pillory-set

This is a sponsored post

Interview with Kali from Kink Academy

August 6, 2018 By slave_bunny 4 Comments

Can you tell us a little about how and why Kink Academy was started? What is Kink Academy’s mission?

I launched Kink Academy nearly 11 years ago because I had been spending quite a bit of time teaching at BDSM conferences, and a large chunk of my social circle were other kink and sexuality educators. I really felt that something magical was happening at these conferences, and felt that people who weren’t able to come to these conferences were missing out. Because of this, I saw there was an opportunity for real education that could teach folks how to explore their sexuality as safely as possible. I wanted to bring this incredible education to the masses.

Kink Academy’s motto is “be accepted.” We encourage and create a sense of inclusively and diversity that represents the huge range of sexual exploration that the idea of kink encapsulates.

Our mission is to help any consenting adult who wants to learn to explore and express their sexuality in a more creative way, to do so by learning from a variety of perspectives. At the root of the Kink Academy philosophy is the commitment to show the range of human beings that explore kink, which means people of all different ages, ethnicities, and body shapes doing kinky things in realistic ways. We also wanted to “draw back the curtain” to show the mechanics of what it means to put together a successful kink scene.

It can be exhilarating and inspiring to watch porn and even edu-porn that is focused more on titillating than on educating. I wanted to flip that framework, and show our members exactly how to do these activities (like bondage, impact play, and gender exploration) in a way that allowed them to then go and create their own titillating experiences.

In your opinion, what makes Kink Academy unique compared to other educational sites/platforms?

One is that the site was created at the start of what is now called “the #sextech movement.” We were one of the first, if not the first web site, to tackle BDSM sexuality in video format with an intense focus on educational portrayal, and with its philosophy rooted in the community and in realistic portrayals of kink. We also offer a diversity of perspectives and backgrounds. We have folks who are longtime bondage riggers alongside therapists, doctors, certified sex educators, and longtime sex workers. We really try to give our members a lot of options so that they can find someone that they relate to in order to learn the most effectively.

We focus on videos (with both a free and paid section) plus a free blog and podcast. Videos are between three minutes and 12 minutes. You can watch a single video to learn a new technique or concept or a series of videos, which allows one to sit and watch four to six to 12 clips or more on the same subject (which becomes more of a comprehensive class). You can also watch our videos based on your own schedule, which is a really important feature of Kink Academy.

What kind of content do you publish on the site? What subjects/topics are featured on the site? How wide is the spectrum of what you feature/want to feature?

The subjects and topics range from all kinds of creative sexuality including kink-related and BDSM topics such as: bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission. Everything from tickling to feederism. We cover a wide range of fetishes. We also explore different relationship structures like polyamory, monogamy, and swinging. We also have some fantastic educators who talk about gender identity and gender exploration. So, really anything that has to deal with sexuality, relationships, gender, intimacy, and communications in an interpersonal dynamic.

We still have a lot of topics that we would love to add to Kink Academy. There is a never ending spectrum of topics when it comes to sex and gender and relationships, and we look forward to adding even more subjects that we haven’t yet addressed on Kink Academy as well as revisiting popular topics with new educators and experts with new perspectives.

On your site, I noticed that there are three different skill levels- can you elaborate on how this is useful for those in the community?

We have three different skill levels on the site that all of the videos are categorized by. However, the levels are a general guideline. One of the most important things to remember as you explore your own kink journey is that everyone has a different yardstick, and that’s OK. What might be labeled as a beginner on Kink Academy might feel very advanced for you. So, you should go with your own assessment. The beginner, intermediate, and advanced labels are to just give a suggested framework for where these different activities lie.

I’ve personally set the categories based on my nearly 15 years of experience as a BDSM educator. In my experience, spanking is something that can be done relatively safely and relatively simply. So, that’s something that would go under the beginner category in the larger framework of kink. Whereas, bondage and humiliation are things that you need to have quite a bit more experience with, and need to have a greater awareness of safety and communication.

I know you are a company that always tries to have something new on the horizon. Can you tell our readers about some of the new and upcoming things viewers can look forward to on Kink Academy?

We have some exciting things on the horizon! The last couple of years we’ve been focusing on the 2,000 videos that currently make up our library. But we’re starting to shoot new videos with some of our most popular educators, as well as some new faces. We’re especially focusing on marginalized voices including women, non-binary folks, bottoms/submissives, and niche fetishes. Our new way of shooting and collecting content is going to be an exciting opportunity for BDSM and sexuality educators that we’re hoping to launch in the next few months.

We are also working on different ways to make the site more accessible to folks with disabilities such as hearing impairments or visual impairments. While we are a very small company with a small budget, we are committed to improving the accessibility of Kink Academy in any and every possible way including making our blog posts audio files, and working on starting to get our new videos to be closed captioned.

What are some stereotypes that Kink Academy tries to dispel?

One of the main stereotypes that Kink Academy has tried to dispel is that all kinksters are thin, white, conventionally attractive, heterosexual pairings. The real world of kink is comprised of such a huge range of individuals, couples, relationship styles, and interests; Kink Academy has strived and continues to strive to visually show a realistic portrayal of not only the kind of people that are into kink, but the way kink looks when it’s not overly glamorized or overproduced as well.

How broad is your educator network? How does one go about becoming an educator?

The Kink Academy educator network started out as my personal educator network with people that I already knew and respected within the sexuality field, or those that were recommended to me by folks that I respect. We have worked with educators all over America as well as some international educators. We’re really proud of the diversity of our experts (as you might have noticed because I’ve mentioned it a few times in this interview!)

Up until this point, Kink Academy has always been the one to travel to where the educators are located to shoot the content. With the expansion of technology and the ease of editing programs that have blossomed over the last decade, we’re going to be able to accept content from pre-approved educators from anywhere in the world. That’s really exciting because it opens the site up to being able to feature educators beyond those that we can physically reach.

If someone is interested in being an educator on Kink Academy or PassionateU, they can click on this link, fill out a quick form, and their information will be put into our mailing list. Then, when we’re ready to make the official announcement about submitting new content to everyone on the list, they will be notified and will be given the process of how to apply.

How long has the site been up and running? What do you feel helps the most when making a site last over a decade?

Kink Academy is in its 11th year! We launched in 2007, and it has been a long and incredible journey to keep Kink Academy going. I think that folks often don’t understand that BDSM businesses are generally driven by passion rather than profits. From the very beginning, I’ve been committed to being a positive part of the “kink economy”, including paying our educators and providing a 50% profit sharing program for community organizations and individuals to use as a fundraiser and income producer.

Kink Academy has really filled a void for folks who are not able to afford the costs of conferences. Kink Academy allows folks who have smaller budgets to still access high-quality education, and it also can become a supplemental resource for folks who are able to take in-person classes (this allows viewers to further practice physical skills, learn from experts who are not geographically close to them, and re-watch the classes so that their skills can become much stronger).

The thing I feel helps the most when trying to make a site last over the decade is having a vision and understanding that no one will care about your vision the way that you do. One of the most important things to remember is that if you have a dream, you have to be the driving force behind it, and you have to take a look at what you are able and willing to sacrifice in order to achieve that dream. Also, please understand that folks that may be interested in your dream may not always be interested in the work that it takes to get there. Remember that things always take longer, cost more, and are more complicated than you originally anticipated! You have to build a project that can sustain your passion throughout the obstacles.

What do you feel the Kink Community is missing the most at large? How do you think your site can help with this?

I feel that the Kink Community is missing more of a focus on soft skills. Graydancer was talking about this recently on Twitter after Ropecraft, and it’s something that I agree very strongly with. At conferences, attendees tend to want to go to the flashy, snazzy, hard skills classes – how to how to tie a hogtie, or how to flog someone, or how to do a face slapping. Obviously, both for safety as well as for the success of the scene, those skills are vital. However, I think that as a whole, the kink world tends to rush through what I call the “meta kink,” which focuses on what’s happening inside our minds, our spirits, and with our emotions and psychology. As an educator, I focus on helping folks understand what is happening inside of them so that they can then better manifest whatever activities will create the headspace that they are seeking. But, too often, kinky folks try to put the cart before the horse. One of my core educational concepts is “intention not activity.” This phrase addresses the assumption that an activity will automatically create the internal experience that one is seeking. “I flog, therefore I dominate. I crawl, therefore I submit.”

What is the long term goal for Kink Academy? How will accomplishing this goal positively affect the community at large?

The long term goal for Kink Academy is to become the most recognized resource for diverse and creative sexuality for consenting adults. We’re going to achieve that by continuing to grow our video library, continuing to improve the accessibility of the site, and continuing to incorporate new technology to make visiting Kink Academy more interesting and more functional for our members.

The way that this will affect the community at large is really twofold. One, is that it offers initial education to folks who don’t have access to in-person experiences, as well as being a supplemental resource for those who participate in-person in the Kink Community. But, I think that it also makes kink more reachable to folks that don’t consider themselves part of the “Kink Community.” Many of us consider kink to be a fundamental aspect of who we are, and it might affect our politics, our relationships, and the way that we move through the world. However, there is a huge part of the human population that is interested in kink in a more casual way. These folks want to learn to do things safely, and want to have creative, adventurous sexual experiences in their lives. But, they don’t identify in the same way a “kinky person” does. In short, Kink Academy is a resource for all of those people as well.

About Kali

Princess Kali is a dynamic educator & entrepreneur that focuses on power exchange, confidence & communication. With over 16 years of experience in exploring sexually alternative lifestyles & professions she has presented over 160 times at venues such as Harvard, Kink in the Caribbean, Dark Odyssey and SXSW. Now her time is focused on personal coaching, running her revolutionary website KinkAcademy.com, speaking across the US as well as internationally and promoting her first book, “Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation.

www.KinkAcademy.com

Interview with Madame Margherite

July 16, 2018 By slave_bunny 4 Comments

Photo by: Slave Boy Julia

Please give us a little background about you. What is it that you do? How did you get in this line of work? What was your educational and professional background before this?

I’m a Dominatrix & Fetish Specialist. I specialize in Animal & Pet Play. I first got into Fetish related work in late 2012, when I was still living in New York. Previous to that, I was primarily a Professional Writer, but also a Television and Commercial Producer with my own Production & Marketing companies. Really, everything I did and my course of action were always unconventional. I always understood the importance of not only sexuality, but also intimacy. When I decided to explore what people generalize as sex work, I had been spending a lot of time with erotic entertainers and dancers. I would hire them to entertain clients, and had grown very fond of some of them. Some became friends.

In 2012, Superstorm Sandy really made things difficult for my business, which was already getting to be more work than I was willing to commit to. So, I decided to experiment with some unconventional jobs I had heard about. The first type of fetish work I did were private, focused parties. For example foot fetish or shoe fetish parties, and they would hire people like myself to entertain the guests. My experiences were so good that I decided I really wanted to do this kind of thing consistently.

I was interested in fetishes because I had met so many people who had so many different types of sexual desires, who were willing to extensively engage with me about them. I really learned a lot, and was able to understand their motivations and experiences. I felt it was important for all people to be able to explore and understand any fetishes they might have.

But it wasn’t until I moved to Los Angeles in March of 2015 that being a Dominatrix and Fetish Specialist became a career. First, I worked for a house, but one that was not at all reputable. Then, I went completely independent after about 6 or 8 months. When I really committed to Animal Play, that’s when success started coming. Not only was I comfortable and in my element because I was doing what I loved, but also I was doing something that’s incredibly fun, and incredibly under appreciated.

What is your definition of a Fetish Specialist? What is your definition of an Animal Play Monarch?

I went with the title of Fetish Specialist because I specialize in working out people’s fetishes with them. My work involves me focusing on my client’s fetishes, not necessarily their sex, but rather focusing on their relationship with an aspect of themselves. A Fetish Specialist is someone who is knowledgeable in fetishes and who uses that knowledge to help people explore and navigate their fetishes. That can mean anything from just simply learning and understanding, all the way to experimenting indefinitely.

I got the title Animal Play Monarch because I really got into Animal Play. I create complex backgrounds, have unique, glorious pets, make custom costumes, and tell really intricate stories. Someone called me a Monarch and that was that.

What does your usual day at work look like?

Believe it or not, most days aren’t spent in Appointments. Most days, I spend my time engaging with people, advertising, maintaining a presence, and contributing to my community.

In terms of sessions, if somebody’s doing what I do and they have three regulars, that’s plenty to keep somebody comfortable. Most of the time, I try to use my platform to contribute to the community. For example, I host Tech Tea Parties, where (usually) women in the community get together, and work on whatever technical work they need to get done. At these parties, we exchange information, learn from one another, and empower the community and each other.

So, being able to spend most of my work time behind the computer at home allows me the time to engage with people at a much better level, in a much more effective manner. Because of my limited time spent in sessions, I can focus on issues that the community is currently facing and I can focus on kink-related education.

What do you love most about your job?

Just seeing people relax and be themselves. It’s just absolutely beautiful to see someone who feels they have to hide who they are, just let loose and be themselves without having to defend or explain their existence. That’s really something that makes all the hard work worth it.

I get a lot of people that come to my door with shame about things that in my opinion people shouldn’t be ashamed of. It’s wonderful to be able to help people take away those layers of pain, shame, discomfort, and the fear of being judged. Being able to work through all those layers and get a person comfortable, and where they’re just really being there and behaving in a way that is authentic, and not based on what they think is expected of them.

And that’s what makes my job and being a part of this community so worth it, because I get the opportunity to fight to stop the discrimination of people’s sexuality and gender, so more people can feel safe enough to be themselves.

What has been the most challenging aspect of your job?

There’s a lot of stigma and judgments made about myself and my clients for what we do. In my opinion, no one should be judged for what they like, want, or are excited by. You can control your actions, but you can’t help what your fetishes are. So, one of my biggest challenges has been managing this judgement, ignorance, and the stigma that goes with this line of work.

It also has become more dangerous to be in my line of work. Sex workers are being forced to cut corners. You can’t accept credit cards, so you have to accept cash. There are less ways to screen people on the internet, if you can’t communicate about these things, now you have to screen people yourself.

It’s also dangerous for my clients because they have jobs, and if their bosses found out they were into any aspect of BDSM, the bosses might say, “Oh, that means you’re violent and you’re fired.”

People have lost their kids because of their BDSM practices.

People’s lives are being destroyed unnecessarily because of ignorance. Ignorance is definitely the biggest challenge.

Can you elaborate on how you train your pets?

Every pet is a little different because every person requires something different. Each animal represents a different aspect of a client’s personality. When it comes to animal play, how I train them really comes down to number one what the human needs, and number two the behaviors of the actual animal. I try to be true to whatever species we are playing out. For example, a reward for my monkey might be bananas. Of course, I first make sure the human likes bananas. But, basically the the reward is what the animal would eat, and the tasks are what that animal would do.

I always take into account people’s goals and where they are mentally as well. For example, if someone is trying to lose weight, I wouldn’t have them be a pig because that animal is usually degraded for their weight. Instead, I might ask this person to be a big horned sheep to show them they are strong and powerful.

I want to try to bring out the positives aspects of the person, and I want them to try to manifest those positive feelings and positive reinforcements through their behavior as a animal.

I use animal play as a means for my client’s to earn praise and affection through tasks that would be easy for a human, but impressive for whatever animal they are. If my pet is struggling with something in their personal life, I’ll work that into our scenes. I do this so that the reward for facing and overcoming whatever it is they are struggling with is something really worth striving for.

How many different kinds of pets do you have?

I’m constantly updating my Pets Count on my website, MadameMargherite.com, but currently, I have about 30.

How does one go about choosing what type of pet they are?

I usually help them with that. At the start of a scene, I’ll ask a series of questions, and based on the answers to those questions, combined with my knowledge of animals, I will find a match that represents the person on a very personal level. All animals have magnificent characteristics, so when my pets are coming out of pet-space, I remind them that all those wonderful, glorious things about their pet persona, are actually wonderful, glorious things about them.

In short, I try to learn information about the client, their surroundings, and how they relate to their environment as well as what are they trying to accomplish in their everyday life. All these things shape the type of animal they are going to be. For example, if you are trying to be more social, I might assign you a social animal like a primate or a meerkat. I always try to match the animal and person based on what the human is trying to achieve.

To help people out with identifying their inner animal, I actually designed a formula called the Petsy-Madaminal Scale. There’s a free version that people can do themselves and there’s a paid version. Feel free to check it out! https://madamemargherite.wordpress.com/petsy-madaminal-scale/

Can you give us more details about the costume making process? What makes for a great pet costume?

In my opinion, what really makes a difference regarding costumes are the types of things that the pets can see and identify with that match the animal that they’re trying to portray. The purpose of a costume is to help people get into head space, stay in head space, and feel more like that animal. You’re almost tricking your brain by looking at yourself wearing fur, wearing a tail, and things like that.

I think that the more important parts of the costume are things like paws and feet and the tail that the person can see. Visuals are very important when getting people into role playing experiences. But also masks and ears are important because someone can feel them.

What are some key attributes of a good pet?

When I play, it’s not about being good or bad, it’s about finding the good and bringing it out.

How is animal training like having a real pet? How does it differ?

Well for one, there are still boundaries that the human being as the animal must adhere to no matter how deep into sub or pet-space a person gets. It’s so important to maintain boundaries and respect limits. These things really should be outlined prior to play. I have heard people make excuses for their behavior while they were in pet space, but there is no excuse for crossing a boundary or hard limit while in this type of space. Being a pet doesn’t give you permission to defecate, urinate, or hump people if these behaviors have not been consented to. Everything that you are going to do/want to do needs to be addressed, consented to, and negotiated prior to pet play or any other type of play.

On the contrary, pet play is a lot like having a real pet because as a Domme it’s my responsibility to take care of my pets. They are depending and relying on me to keep them safe when they are pretending to be an animal.

What are some basic do’s and don’ts of animal and pet play?

Do come up with a safe gesture to replace safewords. A verbal safeword could take someone out of pet space, so gestures could be more effective.

What is the biggest benefit for you as an pet/animal trainer?

I feel a great sense of satisfaction that I’ve been so successful in bringing so much attention to animal play. When I moved to LA in 2015, people told me that as a Dominatrix it wasn’t likely that I would be successful. I heard a lot of people say that people aren’t into animal play, but I knew that all I had to do was show them how I do animal play, and they would be in.

But, the biggest benefit is that this has given me a platform that I can use to talk about important things that matter to me. Not just relating to my industry, but also things like police brutality, the school to prison pipeline, the Prison Industrial Complex, sexual assault, underage marriage laws, and of course, discrimination.

What are some core attributes that are apparent in your training style?

I challenge pets to be as creative and as specific as they want to be. For example, with dogs, I like to get down to the breed. I am also totally open to mythological and prehistoric animals. With my pets, I identify their entire world, not just their animal. I teach my pets things about their animals that make them reflect on themselves. This is where I differ from others out there because I don’t think anyone has been as creative as I have when it comes to animal play.

Do you train different types of pets in a different manner? If so, could you give us a few examples?

Yes. Some of my pets are my Elite Pets, and out of them, some are my Champions. Elite Pets are my personal Pets, who instead of serving me in scenes with payment, they serve me by performing with me, and by hosting events with me. My Elite Pets often battle each other for me, and the victors are deemed my Champions. The battles aren’t violent, of course. For example, to defeat my Monkey my Hyena might have to pull off his velcro tail while to defeat my Hyena my Monkey might have to throw pudding poo at him. In a case like that, you can understand that my different Pets need different training, and of course, different treats. Monkeys get bananas, and Hyenas might get beef jerky.

In sessions, depending on what my Pets are trying to achieve, we will do different activities. A hippopotamus might get a mud bath.

What do you feel needs to be done to bring animal and pet play more into the general public within the BDSM/Kink community?

I think everyone should do this type of play because it’s really good for your imagination. Engaging your imagination makes it easier to solve problems and see different perspectives, which is a very useful tool when it comes to relationships. Even if it’s not animal play, people nurturing their imaginations is extremely healthy and makes life vibrant.

To bring this type of play more into the general public people just need to host more events. People need to begin planning things to normalize this type of play and get the word out there about it.

Are there any therapeutic and/or practical benefits to being a pet or animal that one can experience when they are not being a pet or animal and/or not in “pet space” such as discipline, more stability etc?

Absolutely! Everything I do with my pets is so they can carry what they have achieved in session into their everyday lives. That’s what I do this for, and that’s what I base my activities and methods around. I want them to carry what they learned and/or worked on in session outside of session, so they can achieve their goals, and be the best they can be.

What is the difference between pet play and animal play? What is the difference between someone who identifies as a pet vs. someone who identifies as an animal?

Simple. All pets are animals, but not all animals are pets. All animals under my care are my pets when under my care. That’s how I operate, but that’s not how everyone does things. People who participate in animal play will sometimes get together and have a fox run, or do some other activity where they play as wild animals, and no one is anyone’s pet. Someone could also just be a lone wolf with no owner. Pets have some sort of D type, whereas animals usually do not. A pet has a Madame, Master, Trainer, or some other honorific relating to someone that offers guidance.

About Madame Margherite: Fetish Specialist & Animal Play Monarch

Los Angeles resident, Madame Margherite, began dabbling in fetish work during the fall of 2012 while still living in Brooklyn, New York. When she moved to LA in March of 2015, that’s when her career as a Dominatrix really started taking shape. Specializing in Animal Play, she earned the title Animal Play Monarch with her elaborate Queendom of exotic and glorious Pets. Madame Margherite’s background in Production & Marketing has been very advantageous for her career. As a member of the DomCon Advisory Board, her key role lies in marketing. She’s extremely active in the community and is an advocate for a number of issues including anti-discrimination and anti-police brutality. For more information visit: MadameMargherite.com

Interview with Danny Stygion

July 9, 2018 By slave_bunny 3 Comments

Can you tell us a little about your background, how you got started in being involved in this community, and about your current work within the community?

Danny Stygion: When I was 16, I watched a documentary on HBO called “Fetishes” in 1996. The documentary was about professional dominatrices at the New York Dungeon, Pandora’s Box. It opened my eyes to a hidden world of BDSM and fetishism. Around the same time, I came across Bettie Page, Dita Von Teese, and Marquis Magazine. I’ve always been drawn to the sight of a beautiful woman in nylons. That was my first fetish.

In 2002, I started doing photo shoots and producing events. The 2nd fetish ball I co-produced featured Dita Von Teese as our headliner. This was a couple months after she had just been on the cover of Playboy Magazine. In 2010, I co-founded Sinical Magazine (along with Jack Mallein and M. Porcine), which focuses on elegant fetish and dark pin-up photography.

What is your overall mission in relation to the Kink/BDSM community? How do your two magazines, subspace and Sinical Magazine, help to accomplish this?

Danny Stygion: My goal with Sinical Magazine was to present fetishism with elegance. The magazine grew slowly, but we’ve now featured many of the most recognizable fetish models, burlesque performers, and photographers, such as Dita Von Teese, Masuimi Max, Bianca Beauchamp, Steve Diet Goedde, and Chas Ray Krider, among others. subspace Magazine was launched several years later, and focuses on professional Dominatrices and the BDSM community. We’ve built up a decent network, and we produce two social gatherings/fetish balls a year, which gives our readers an opportunity to meet and network with like-minded people in a safe environment and enjoy performances. We are working towards producing a monthly private and members-only fetish/BDSM gathering as well.

What can one expect to find in each issue?

Danny Stygion: The magazines feature 4-6 exclusive and high-quality photosets with interviews with fetish models, burlesque performers, and dominatrices. We used to have more articles and fiction pieces, but it’s hard to keep consistent writers. I shoot a lot of the content myself, and Angela Ryan helps stylize a lot of the covers.

What is the most challenging aspect of your job? What is the most fulfilling?

Danny Stygion: Staying on schedule with people missing deadlines or not turning in quality content. Dominatrix sponsors changing their mind about their career path before the release of an issue.

The most fulfilling aspect is developing the network and reach of the magazine. Also, making an up and coming adult model, photographer, or dominatrix happy when we feature them.

What type of content do you feature?

Danny Stygion: Dark pinup/fetish imagery set against elegant locations or backdrops with moody/interesting lighting schemes. Stylized makeup and wardrobe, and fetish clothing focused on: nylons, corsets, latex, leather, etc. No cheesecake pin-up style photography. subspace Magazine focuses on the same, but has more Dungeon-type settings with interviews that promote Dominatrices, and articles that cover fetish/BDSM events.

How did your magazines get their start?

Danny Stygion: I researched magazine graphic design and self-publishing for several months before starting and launching the 1st issue of Sinical Magazine. The website was registered in November 2010. Print-on-demand services made it easier to publish magazines on your own, instead of having to spend thousands printing in bulk. Many magazines I’ve enjoyed and admired have disappeared from bookstore shelves, so I’ve been focusing on virtual distribution, e-mail marketing, and social media. I believe it is the way of the future for niche magazines.

How does one go about being featured in your magazine? How does one go about ordering your magazine?

Danny Stygion: We have submission information on our websites: www.sinicalmagazine.com and www.subspacemag.com. The images need to be unpublished. I rarely request a person to be in the magazine now. We receive enough submissions, and I shoot a lot of the content myself. People can order the magazines from our websites.

Are you a lifestyler as well? If so, how does this impact and/or benefit your professional work within the community?

Danny Stygion: I was married for ten years, and after my divorce in 2016, I started actively exploring BDSM and fetishism with various women in my private life. Post-divorce, I’ve consensually played with nine different women at Dungeon locations, hotel rooms, and even a graveyard once. I tried to have a personal D/s relationship with one woman, but it didn’t work out due to lack of communication and incompatibility. I did learn a lot from that experience, and I’ve had much better experiences since then. I’ve very busy, so I choose to explore kink in my private life when I have free time, as opposed to dating someone.

Can you elaborate on your photography, filmmaking, and publishing endeavors? Do you have any new projects you are currently working on?

Danny Stygion: I don’t do many trade shoots anymore unless it’s someone I really want to photograph for the magazine. I’m mainly hired by professional dominatrices to shoot their ads, and by up and coming models and burlesque performers. I shot a short film in early 2017 called “Solitaire”. My goal is to shoot another short film this Summer. I’m currently deeply involved in the co-production of the 8th Anniversary Ball for Sinical Magazine, which will be held in Houston. It is the biggest production I’ve been involved with. I would like to see the Sinical events develop into a multi-day event with workshops, play parties, and a ball. We are headed in that direction. I work with 3-4 other partners on these events: C. Baulch, J. Short, M. Porcine, and J. Mallein.

In your opinion, what is the best way to hone your craft?

Danny Stygion: To keep shooting and learning new lighting techniques. Keep an open mind. I’ve been shooting for 15 years, and I’m still learning. Editing a magazine and seeing submissions all the time has definitely helped me in knowing what makes a photo great, and being able to interview my role models about their techniques also helps a lot.

Do you have any advice for those that are new to the community?

Danny Stygion: If you are a model or photographer, I suggest you do some research and work with quality people, and consistently submit your work and develop a good portfolio. If you are exploring BDSM, there are events and gatherings in each city. That is one way to start.

What would you say is the biggest challenge the community faces at the moment? What can/should be done about this? How does/can your work help to remedy this?

Danny Stygion: FOSTA/SESTA has affected a lot of people in our community, and I believe it was safer for people when they had advertising avenues that had screening processes. It has affected the livelihood of many friends of mine who are professional dominatrices, and it has led to ridiculous censorship, such as hashtags like #lingerie and #stripper being banned from Instagram, for example. I try to do what I can with Sinical and subspace social media platforms, email newsletters, and magazines to help promote the people who support our mission.

Any closing thoughts?

Danny Stygion: I’ve poured what I’ve learned about producing magazines into an e-book guide called How to Create and Sell a Digital Magazine. I released this guide on Friday, June 15th.

Sinical Ball VIII will be held in Houston at the Westchase Hilton Hotel Ballroom on Saturday, Sept. 22nd, 2018, and will feature fetish and burlesque performances by Masuimi Max, Kimber Fox, Sabra JohnSin, and Mistress Genevieve. We will also have over a dozen guest dominatrices, workshops, a play party hosted by The Vault Dungeon, vendors, photo gallery, live body painting, and more. It will be a fun event and a night to remember.

About Danny Stygion

Danny Stygion (born March 21, 1980) is a photographer, magazine publisher,
filmmaker, and podcaster. He is the co-founder and editor of Sinical
Magazine, established in November 2010. Sinical Magazine focuses on
alternative culture and fetish fashion and has featured the world’s top
alternative models such as Dita Von Teese, Masuimi Max, and Bianca
Beauchamp. The Sinical Magazine Podcast was founded in 2015.

In 2013, subspace Magazine was launched, focusing on professional
Dominatrices and BDSM.

In 2015-2016, he produced a series of magazine issues for NightCulture,
Inc., a producer of live electronic music events.

In late 2016, he co-founded an independent film and video production
company called LP-1126 Productions.

www.stygion.com
www.sinicalmagazine.com
www.subspacemag.com

Interview with Dirk Hooper

July 2, 2018 By slave_bunny 6 Comments

Dirk Hooper Photography-http://www.dirkhooper.com/

Can you tell our readers how you got your start in the Kink Community?

I’ve been kinky since I was a little kid. I identified what I was into when I was 13, but I didn’t really get involved in the BDSM community until I found a local munch on an AOL chat board much later.

Once I attended that munch it led to my first play party, and I’ve never looked back!

What have you found most fulfilling about being a part of and working in this community?

Being in the BDSM Community is more than a pastime for me. I’m all in. My business, my art, and my life are all directly involved in BDSM. While I’ve tried to engage in vanilla relationships over the past 20 years, it’s always been awkward and unfulfilling. Kink is a part of me. There’s not just one thing that fulfills me about kink. It’s an integral part of who I am and what I do.

What is the biggest challenge when it comes to working in the Kink Community?

I think the biggest challenge is communicating with people outside of the community. There are so many restrictions, biases, and misconceptions in the world. Much of what I do is a direct reaction to my own struggles to get quality news and information out to a wider audience, and helping others to do so as well.

What would you say is your overall mission in regards to the Kink Community? How does your work help to accomplish this?

I remember what it was like to not BE in the community. It was terrible. I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea how to get there. Once I got in, there was so much poor and/or contradictory information, and so many people set themselves up as gatekeepers.

What I want to do is knock down walls. While part of my audience are members of the Kink Community, my people, I also want to reach out to people who have not found their way yet, or people who don’t understand what’s going on. The vanilla crowd is also my target audience.

My photography is focused on portraying my own kinks and the fantasies of the models in the photos, but it’s also to give a positive view of another world to the general public.

My writing, journalism, podcasts, and adult marketing consultation are designed to educate, inform, and entertain. Not all of my work is kinky, but it’s a large part of what I do. Also, I like to help people out.

How did you get your start in writing and photography?

I’ve been an artist and writer since I was very young. When I was little, I would draw superheroes, and write stories about time travel and spaceships.

My professional photography developed alongside my burgeoning interest in the BDSM community. I needed something to take photos of, and I was meeting new people and learning about the lifestyle, so naturally that’s what I took photos of.

I returned to college and took four years of media arts (film, video, and photography), and that led to a professional career in photography.

As for writing, I’ve been serious about doing fiction and non-fiction since 8th grade. I’ve been published as a poet, as a comic book writer, and I’ve written articles for numerous print and online publications.

About five years ago, I got really serious about writing, which led to being published at HuffPost, Slate, Business Insider, Quartz, and even The Sporting News and MSN Sport. I’ve won the Top Writer Award at Quora for the past three years, and I’ve written countless articles for various BDSM sites and my own projects.

With writing, what I’ve discovered is–the more I write, the more positive things happen.

Are there differences in the processes relating to kink photography vs. non-kink photography? If so, what are they?

My process with working with people, kinky or otherwise, are exactly the same. Good photos rely on making a connection with the subject and creating an environment where they feel comfortable.

You’d think that it would be more difficult to get a kinky person comfortable in front of the camera, but that’s usually not the case. If they are into fetish/kink/BDSM, then a photoshoot is often the culmination of many of years of fantasies. This is their moment!

I work often with professional dominatrices, and they appreciate my experience and knowledge of the community.

If anything, I try to find something, or someone, who is interesting to me from another angle to do non-kink work. But the process is actually similar no matter who the person is.

Now, I do create some work that I call my “Walkabout Series” that consists of urban and landscape photography in a particular location. That’s really a meditative process where I explore a location, and try to take photos that are challenging artistically. That’s very different from what I usually do with people.

What do you find most fulfilling about mentoring? What do you find most challenging?

I guess that a lot of what I do right now is influenced by how much I wanted to be in the BDSM community when I was growing up. Since I’m “in” now, and I’ve had a lot of great experiences, I want to help pass that on to others.

Helping someone to experience the lifestyle fully is extremely fulfilling to me, since I know about the joy it’s brought to me.

What I find challenging is “deprogramming” people from all the low-quality information outside of the community, and self-serving misinformation inside the community.

How does one go about becoming your mentee?

I don’t have a formal process set up. What I’ve mostly done as a mentor is provide quality information to individuals or couples, both online and in person.

That could include just answering some questions, to setting up a scene and instructing someone, to ongoing back-and-forth over a long period of time.

How do you personally identify within the community? Has this stance had any impact on your work/career?

In the last two decades, I’ve been a 24/7 slave to two professional dominatrices, and I’ve owned several slaves. I’ve played on both sides of the whip over the years, and I’m comfortable in both roles. However, I do not see myself as a switch.

In every case, depending on who I was with, I’ve been one role or the other. There was no switching involved. I do monogamous long-term relationships. I’m not sure that any label nails what I am, because depending on who I’m with, I’m 100% that role.

When I was starting out, I was mostly submissive. Now I’m exclusively dominant, but if I met the right woman…

I think playing both roles has given me a broad understanding of the community and the kink experience. It deeply informs everything I do in my career.

What do you feel is the biggest challenge the community faces at the moment? What do you think should be done to help with this?

The biggest challenge for the community is fighting the misconceptions and inaccuracies from within and from the outside. Only good information and open discussions will solve this.

How does your work help with reducing this?

I’ve been at this a long time. I’ve built quite a following and a bunch of connections in the community. I do my best to use that platform to share my experiences and the insight I’ve gained through art, photography, writing, podcasts, and mentoring.

Can you give some advice to D types? To s types?

For D types:

Don’t take yourself too seriously. I completely understand what it’s like to have someone, or several someones, hanging on your every word. That’s not just power, that’s responsibility. You should respect that, and it should make you very humble.

For s types:

Be careful. Don’t ever get so caught up in someone that you lose track of who you are, or how valuable you are. If the dominant that you’re following is not making you a better person, they are doing it wrong.

What are in your opinion the best communication and negotiation techniques?

Whether you’re just going to play for one scene, or you’re going to play for a lifetime, you have to take a step back from your roles for a bit, and speak as honestly to each other as possible.

If you’re telling someone what you think they want to hear, then that could lead to hurt feelings, awkwardness, or much worse.

Just be honest and keep an open mind. And don’t rush things. Good communication makes everything better. It’s worth taking your time.

What is the best advice you can give to those who are new in the community?

Relax.

I know it’s exciting, and crazy, and fun. But I can’t tell you how many people jump into this with the wrong person, and ruin their first experience. It’s a LOT. For some of those people they figure it out and get back on the horse. For others, they leave before they get started, and then regret it for the rest of their lives.

Read tons. There’s a lot of information out there now. Don’t just read stuff on the internet. Get a hold of some good books on the subject and educate yourself.

Also, I would highly suggest joining a local group, and bring a friend, even if they are vanilla. Don’t tell everyone what your role is yet (especially if it’s submissive). Watch what happens. See how people interact with each other. Ask a trillion questions (away from the action).

When you’ve found someone you want to play with, then make sure they know you’re new. Listen to what they ask you. Listen to how they answer your questions. If their answers are open and honest, and you like what they say, then take the leap. But if you feel like it’s not the right person, or not the right time, then wait. A good member of the community will understand.

What would you say makes for a great writer? Do you have any advice for how to hone one’s writing craft?

The answer to what makes for a great writer and how to hone your craft are exactly the same answer. Write.

Just write.

About four years ago I started writing between 300 and 1000 words almost every day. The more I wrote, the easier it got. The more I wrote, the better I got. I found my style and I found my groove.

What helped me so much was writing for Quora.com. No matter what you’re into, there are hundreds of questions that need good answers. Those writing prompts gave me an easy place to start. The dedication to writing regularly took away any fear I had about “how good it would be.” And the constant feedback, in the way of upvotes and comments, improved my writing overall.

Can you elaborate more on your podcasts? How do these differ from your other endeavors?

I started podcasting in 2005, long before it was a big thing. I was attracted to the intimate and engaging nature of audio.

Since then I’ve recorded 100s of hours of work including a podcast station called Couch Pirates that covered everything from professional wrestling, to politics, to geek culture. Princess Zoe and I did The Fetish Show for about five years, and talked with some of the coolest people in the BDSM and Fetish Community (and had a lot of fun). More recently, I’ve started a five-minute podcast called The Dirk Side that focuses on positive stories, inspiration, and self-help.

I see podcasting as just another extension of what I do elsewhere. It’s always about information, education, and entertainment.

I’m close to launching one or two more podcasts, and maybe a series of video interviews.

I know you are also a consultant. Could you tell our readers more about that and what services you offer? What is unique about what you can offer your clients?

I’m the owner/consultant for Sexy Networking, which is a business I’ve set up to help with personal branding, social media management, copywriting, web design, SEO, and marketing for people who speak to an adult audience. That includes professional dominatrices, cam and fetish models, adult entertainers, escorts, erotic artists, and writers.

What’s unique about what I offer my clients is 20 years of experience in marketing and branding adult services. I’ve been intimately involved with creating personas and business plans, communicating with the public, and doing writing and design work for people in the Kink Community.

Very few people can match both my time in the community, and my real-time experience doing the work in the trenches to build successful brands over the past two decades.

What new projects are you currently working on?

I just completed a big redesign of my personal photography site. With that done, I’m going to be launching or re-launching several projects that will appear on www.DirkHooper.com.

I’m also looking to do more travel across the United States, and eventually the world, to offer my photography services. I’m not ready to make an announcement yet, but that’s going to open some opportunities to do a big multi-year project that could be a lot of fun.

Over the past three years, I’ve rediscovered my passion for creating erotic illustrations, and I’m going to be gearing that up.

Finally, I’m close… so close, to finishing my first erotic BDSM novel. When that’s done, I’ve got a non-fiction book that’s coming next, and a science-fiction/fantasy/action novel that’s going to be a blast!

Any closing words?

I just want to say thanks for this interview. I consider myself very lucky to have found a community that I dearly love, and I always appreciate the opportunity to share my story.

Please check out my stuff!

About Dirk Hooper:

Dirk Hooper is an award-winning fetish photographer, professional writer, audiobook narrator, podcasting producer and host, journalist for the fetish community, BDSM mentor, and adult personal branding and marketing consultant for Sexy Networking.

Dirk Hooper won Best Fetish Photographer at the 2017 Fetish Awards in St. Petersburg Florida. As a fine-art fetish photographer, Hooper’s work has been exhibited in England, the Netherlands, Belgium, China and all over the United States. His work is part of the permanent collections of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and the Leather Archives and Museum in Chicago, Illinois. Dirk Hooper’s work has been published in magazines like Skin Two, Von Gutenberg, Fet Erotica and Sinical Magazine. His work was published in the German hardcover art book “Fetish Fantasies: The Best of International Fetish Photography.” He has done professional photography for bands, books, posters and the adult film industry. Hooper co-founded the alternative modeling site Toxic Goddess. He offers his photography services for portraits and commercial projects.

Hooper’s articles have recently been published at Business Insider, Inc. Magazine, HuffPost, Slate Magazine, The Sporting News, MSN Sport, and Quartz. He has won the Quora Top Writer award for the past two years. He has also been published as a comic writer, a poet, and performed numerous copywriting assignments for professional and private clients. He is currently working on an erotic novel and a non-fiction book about social networking.

Dirk Hooper is the Host and Executive Producer of “The Fetish Show.” He has also recently launched a new podcast about success and inspiration titled, “The Dirk Side.” Hooper has been podcasting since 2005 and has produced hundreds of hours of shows over several networks. His first audiobook narration was for the Suzanne Steele novel “Glazov.”

Dirk Hooper does journalism for the BDSM and fetish community through The Fetish Show News, FETISHWEEK articles, the Daily Fetish Chronicle and freelance writing. Hooper’s award-winning website, http://www.DirkHooper.com features a gallery of his work, informational articles and is the home of “FETISHWEEK.”

Hooper’s inspiration for his work is an extension of his interests and experience in the BDSM and fetish community. He is a BDSM mentor and has helped guide or train both dominants and submissives.

Hooper works as a consultant on personal branding, social networking, SEO, copywriting, design and marketing through his Sexy Networking business at http://SexyNetworking.com.

Interview with Michelle from the Pleasure Chest

July 2, 2018 By slave_bunny 3 Comments

Can you tell us a little about how the Pleasure Chest got its start?

The Pleasure Chest started in 1971 in New York, at the height of the sexual revolution. Founders Duane Colglazier and Bill Rifkin started out selling waterbeds, but found unexpected success in selling erotic novelties like mood lighting, cock rings, and handcuffs. They decided to turn the store into a full-fledged sex shop.

The company’s first location in the West Village in 1971, challenged convention by refusing to block out the store windows with XXX, which was standard for any store with adult material. Its founders aimed to create a department store feel. This simple principle continues to guide and set the Pleasure Chest apart today, now under the leadership of Duane’s nephew Brian Robinson.

What is your job title for the Pleasure Chest? How did you begin working there? What is your background concerning the Adult/Fetish Industry?

Currently I am a Sex Specialist and Sex Educator. The road here starts with me (as a Theater Education major at the University of Puerto Rico: Rio Piedras) putting myself through college working in the adult industry as an exotic dancer and nude model. About three years later, I moved to Miami and eventually transitioned into doing burlesque and teaching pole dance fitness. Upon relocating to California five years ago, I returned to stripping after a break up that left me broke and almost homeless. A burlesque performer I was dating at the time suggested I apply at The Pleasure Chest since I was looking for something with more regular hours. I interviewed and got the job, knowing that becoming a Sex Educator was my primary goal.

What do you love the most about working there?

I love having the opportunity to help people find the tools they need to better love themselves and each other. I love empowering people to feel comfortable in their sexual experimentation, exploration, and expression of themselves. Redirecting sex negatives attitudes and teaching people about consent is very rewarding for me as well.

In your opinion, what would you say are the company’s core values?

Sex positivity, pleasure based sex education, inclusivity, and adaptability.

What is the Pleasure Chest’s overall mission? How does the company go about accomplishing this?

To provide a non-judgmental, safe space where individuals are free to explore lifestyle products that will enrich their sex lives, regardless of spending capacity. We do this by hiring folks that are not only personally invested in their community, but are also actively a part of it, by carrying a wide range of products from low to high price points (which allows us to maintain accessibility to every demographic), and by offering free sex positive, pleasure-based, workshops and events to support and build up the community.

What is unique about your company and store? What do you feel customers can gain/experience uniquely there?

I believe the level of training we receive first and foremost sets us apart from other adult retailers in this industry. Not only from vendors, but from social justice groups as well. As the language around sexuality and gender has evolved, we have had diversity trainings to better serve all facets of the LGBTQ Community. We make a conscious choice to use gender neutral language, whether it is on the sales floor or in our classes. At the LA location, the team is really more like a family. With this being said, customers are met with friendly, compassionate, and knowledgeable staff. We hear them out, we laugh together, sometimes we cry together. We make sure they leave with what they need, knowing how it is used as well as how to clean and care for their product. They get a curated experience that you won’t find in many other stores or online.

Can you elaborate more on your events and classes that you have at your store? How do they help achieve the company’s overall goals?

For our sex education programming, we try to have a decent amount of variety of topics and instructors while still maintaining staples like Suck It, Live It, Love It (an oral sex class for everyone) and Butt Sex Basics as a regular part of our repertoire. Classes are a great way for people to experience a different facet of the store while they are learning something new or expanding on what they already know. Our workshops are always free, and if customers fill out a feedback form we offer them a 15% discount after the class. They get to buy a product(s) that they might have seen featured in the class at an accessible price, and we learn how to make our workshops an even better experience every time.

We also do community building events like “Performance Anxiety,” which is our comedy night, and Cirque Sexualle, a bi-monthly free burlesque show that showcases POC performers. These events all help the Pleasure Chest to achieve its goal of being more than just another adult retailer. We want to be a hub for the community as well, and a safe place to gather, learn, laugh and get turned on in ways that we aren’t typically privileged to in our usual lives.

What types of products do you sell? What companies in your opinion are the best?

Literally everything! Novelties, lingerie, lubricant, massage oils, personal care items, condoms, books, dvds, couples toys, vibrators, dildos, harnesses, anal toys, masturbation sleeves, cock rings, kink implements, electro-play devices. I mean, it’s endless. In my opinion, companies that focus on sustainability and ethical production practices without sacrificing the quality of their product are best to me. In my book, that happens to be Fun Factory. All their products are made by hand in Germany where they employ locals who are unionized, are paid a living wage, and have healthcare. They don’t use any harmful chemicals in the production of their devices, or the devices themselves or the packaging. So, their environmental impact is neutral. That is a major turn on for me.

What do you feel the community at large faces right now? How can/does the Pleasure Chest try to help with this?

I think the greatest challenge the adult industry and sex worker community faces is dealing with the ramifications of our government creating regulations like FOSTA/SESTA, which only builds stigma around the sex worker industry, and makes it more difficult for sex workers to survive, rather than “prevent sex trafficking” as it claims to. Framing sex work as real work and supporting sex workers is something that the Pleasure Chest has always maintained a firm position on.

In your opinion, what is the best way to safely explore your fetishes?

Do your research. Read books, both instructional and erotic fiction to get a well- rounded perspective of what the expression of this fetish can look like. Identify what aspects of its expression resonate with you-what turns you on? Try things by yourself first so you don’t have to worry about what you look like in front of someone else. Once you get a good idea of what a ‘scene’ looks like for you, discuss with a partner, negotiate desires and boundaries, and above all else have fun! Give yourself permission to laugh and enjoy playing in new ways, it doesn’t have to be super serious.

In what ways can the Pleasure Chest help with sexual exploration?

I think this is where our workshops really come into play. We take topics from oral sex to g-spotting, to advanced anal, fisting, bondage and impact play, and present them in a way that is very digestible for folks still trying to decide whether or not they are into it. By demystifying and destigmatizing the different ways in which human beings can experience pleasure, we help take away people’s’ fear and shame around the experience of exploration by making it lighthearted and enjoyable.

How is the Pleasure Chest specifically tied to the Kink Community? Do you feel that most of your customers are kinky in some way?

In its early days, a huge part of the Pleasure Chest customer base were those of the gay leather community, and later the store became well known for its yearly “Glory Hole” parties. As time has gone by and BDSM has become more mainstream via mediums like the “Fifty Shades” series, our role has shifted in terms of facilitating conversations around what healthy D/s relationships and consent actually are versus what is presented in the media. One thing I have learned from these conversations is that “kinky” is a sliding goalpost. For some people blindfolds are kinky, whereas for more experienced folks it might not be. For some people, just the act of wearing a condom or doing it doggy style can be kinky. Our job is not to decide what is kinky or what isn’t -because it is truly unique to the individual. Our job is to be a resource people can turn to for receiving the tools and information about how to go about their kink in the most satisfying and safe way.

What does the Pleasure Chest want to offer in the future?

A major priority for us is having an even greater supportive presence in the LGBTQ and POC communities in the outreach that we do. We want to make ourselves accessible to those who face the greatest marginalization because of their sexual/gender expression. I think we understand that we have a responsibility, especially to this younger generation that is growing up during the #MeToo movement, to not only educate, but also lead by example in actively pushing back against the perpetuation of the sex negative, toxic masculine, rape culture.

What current projects is the company working on?

Most recently, we have started becoming more accommodating to our 420 friendly customer base. The legalization of cannabis for recreational purposes has created a unique opportunity for crossover into the adult erotic lifestyle product world. The way that we are responding to this growing trend is by exploring the varieties of quality hemp based products to carry as well as expanding our smoke shop section. I believe the integration of cannabis and the adult retail business is a great opportunity for evolution within the industry.

Any closing words?

I believe that the human body is an incredible biological miracle, and the possibilities for human sexual expression are as infinite as all the people that have ever existed, and will continue to exist as long as we inhabit this planet. Therefore, I believe it to be imperative that we never lose our curiosity towards exploring and unlocking all the many ways our bodies are capable of experiencing pleasure-ways we may have never imagined before, until maybe seeing a movie, or reading a book, having a conversation, or stepping inside the Pleasure Chest.

About Michelle LaBelle

Besides being a 10 year veteran to the burlesque and Cosplay Community, Michelle LaBelle has also used her voice as an activist to create greater visibility for the Bisexual Community. In addition to being a dancer, actress, singer and writer, this proud Puerto Rican native works as a sex positive sex educator, empowering individuals to seek out their most fulfilling sex lives through consent and pleasure-based education.

IG: @themichellelabelle

Twitter: @TheMLaBelle

http://www.facebook.com/michellelabelle86

IG: @pleasurecheststores

www.pleasurechest.com

Interview with Mistress Dometria

June 25, 2018 By slave_bunny 4 Comments

Mistress Dometria-https://www.brightondungeon.com/

Can you tell us a little about yourself. What is your background? How did you get started in this industry? How do you identify within the community?

I was born in South London, but made in Cyprus and come from a large Greek-Cypriot family. My family alternated between living in Cyprus and London when I was a child, and I only spoke Greek until I was six years old. My upbringing was sometimes ‘cruel to be kind,’ and it has helped shape the woman I have become today.

I have always, since a child, been headstrong and independent, not wanting to play with dolls like my peers, but wanting more from life, to give more to life, with my spirit and soul. And, you know, that’s what being a Dominatrix means, giving. Not just giving lashes with a whip, or commands with a voice, but giving a part of your soul, and providing a kind of therapy for another human being.

It is an empathetic experience and I have always been an empathetic person. A rebel with a good heart. I ran away from home when I was young, and I suppose I started living the life before I even knew what it was. Then one day, I realised I could start making money from it.

I have now been a Professional Dominatrix and paying my taxes for over fifteen years. I am a well-known and respected figure in the community. My reputation has been earned from my long-standing relationships with my clients, and what I do for them holistically, through my expert, specialist, hardcore sessions. I care about the Fetish Community and promote the events I believe in. People need a safe place to play, and if I can help with that, I will. This is one of the reasons I rent my dungeon and boudoir premises, so players can have access to a safe, clean, and very well-equipped environment.

In my local neighbourhood community in Brighton, I invest in and support independent, local businesses. Through my fitness company, I motivate and train many people to be healthier in their bodies and spirits. I have also worked in security around Brighton, so I would say I am an all-round asset in all community senses!

What do you feel makes for a great Dominatrix? How do you incorporate this/these things into your sessions?

As mentioned previously, you have to be an empath. The sub before you is a human being who has come to you for their own style of absolution. You must be respectful of that, get to know the human being a little, find out what makes them tick, and what their souls and bodies need. Everyone is different and there is no cookie cutter approach. Communication, Psychology, and being intuitive and wise are all key factors. You also have to know your toys and be skilled in the art of using them. An understanding of anatomy and at-least-basic medical training also helps!

Having a killer body, eye-popping wardrobe of latex outfits, and superior dungeon premises all help, but even all that is just fluff if you don’t have the right attitude. That attitude, that je ne sais quoi, is what makes a great Dominatrix – along with bloody hard work! If you are scared of hard work, this job is not for you!

What techniques do you find helpful to separate your work from your own play/personal life?

Simple, I draw the line. When I am at work, I am at work 100%, with all my attention and devotion. When I go home to my family, I switch off. I go off grid. I leave Mistress Dometria at the dungeon, and I go home to be me, with my people and my dogs. I also love to relax through my body building, wrestling, and sport fighting – that is my own personal chill out time, just for me.

What are some red flags to watch out for when meeting a Dominatrix?

One big flag is how well they listen to and make an attempt to get to know and understand their subs. Are they happy to chat beforehand and understand your needs? Do they spend a little cool down time with you afterwards, debrief, let you have a shower, give you a cup of tea, and make sure you are ok for the journey home? If not, red flag!

Always check how much experience they have and how long they have been practicing. Always, without fail, read their ‘about me’ page on their website. It will give you a vibe of who they are and what they do. If they don’t have a website, red flag! Look for videos too, to see the style of their play and work out if it suits you.

Another indication is the cleanliness of the dungeon. This is even more crucial than how well-equipped the dungeon is. An imaginative, excellent Dominatrix is capable of providing an exceptional experience with whatever props are available. However, a dirty dungeon could also give you a life-changing experience, and not in a good way. Unhygienic dungeon premises are a hell into which you do not wish to venture! Plus, if a supposed Dominatrix isn’t even able to look after her premises, how well is she going to look after you?

What makes for a great dungeon? What is unique about your dungeon, Brighton Dungeon?

A great dungeon is about the entire environment – the whole sensory atmosphere, enveloping your sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, and soul. It has got to be somewhere you can feel safe and secure, and where you feel you are able to let go and unleash your ultimate fantasies. It has also got to be scrupulously clean and hygienic. My premises are exceptionally well-equipped, immaculate, and in high demand for sessions with me, for hire by other Mistresses and Masters, couples wanting to book a kinky weekend away (through my Brighton Erotic Boudoir business), and filmmakers/photographers looking for an exceptional location. I offer a state-of-the-art medical room, a dungeon with just about every toy you can possibly think of, and torture cells. But it’s not all about what you have, it’s what you do with it!

It’s so awesome you’re a two-times world champion body builder. How does this enhance your ability to perform your job? What do you gain personally from body building?

Body building is my chill out time; it’s how I relax. I have spent years sculpting myself, my body, my life, and my soul, to be the woman I am today. This has been and continues to be my passion and my path, to be the very best of myself so I can better look after the people I love. When I am body building, when I am wrestling, I am doing it for me, it is mine – my play.

There are many aspects of fitness training which are complementary to being a Professional Dominatrix. The adrenaline buzz is an obvious one, as is the discipline required. Plus, the more I learn about the capabilities of my own body, the more I understand the capacities of the bodies of others. Plus, the fitter I am, the greater I am at kicking ass!

Can you tell us a little more about your wrestling experience/expertise and how it relates to your role in the Kink Community?

As mentioned above, for me, the two go hand in hand. I must say that I absolutely love shocking the body building community by bringing Mistress Dometria along to play sometimes. For example bringing the biggest, strongest, muscle men down to their knees on stage. A lot of jaws hit the floor, so funny!

Before I started body building professionally, I was already well-known in the scene for being trained in security. So, it has only advanced my reputation as a specialist ever further. People know I am physically strong enough to overpower them and I know how to look after them in the process, so they don’t get hurt. You have to know what you are doing when you are playing with the bodies of other people.

Do your own fetishes get to be played out and explored in your profession?

Well if I didn’t enjoy what I did, I wouldn’t do it. I really love caning and whipping because I feel the instrument is an extension of me, that it is my arm, or my leg, which is wrapping around your body. I get an amazing sense of power back from these experiences, also watching the movements of the player’s body, how their back arches, and how their toes curl. It is a form of art. I also cannot resist ball-busting, I think that has to be a real personal favourite. I just adore it.

I have many fetishes though and they extend into many different areas of my life. It’s not all about the dungeon. And while I have close relationships with many of my players, these relationships are never intimate or sexual. In my personal life, I have never gone out with a submissive male.

How do your core values factor into your job?

Caring about my fellow human beings and showing empathy in my work are big factors. There is something incredibly rewarding about being able to provide therapy, in its various shapes and forms. Through all my wickedness, I do great good. That is how my core values are met through my work.

What is the biggest benefit to being a Dominatrix? What is the biggest challenge?

Being my own boss is a huge benefit, and just being able to be me in my working life. There is an immense freedom which comes with this. However, there is a sacrifice which goes with this freedom, and that is holding true responsibility and accountability for all the subs who visit me. I give a little part of myself to each and every one of them, and that can become tiring if I don’t find the time to recharge and relax.

What is the most fun aspect of your job?

People! The wonderful, weird, wanton and wicked people I get to meet! Everyone has a story, a reason they come to see me. Learning more about them can be entertaining enough in itself, but also adds an extra dimension to the impact of our sessions together.

Would you say you have grown as a person from this profession? If so, how? Have your clients? If so, how?

I have certainly come to understand people better from this work. I have good senses and Psychology training anyway, but getting so up close and personal with people takes it up a level. My experiences have enabled me to be able to see and read people so much more clearly, past their filters and their masks, to who they really are inside. Perhaps they don’t share that part of themselves to anyone else but me?

I would say my clients leave feeling lighter and cleansed after one of our sessions, as though they have been absolved of their sins and born anew.

How important is online publicity/social networking for your continued success?

Networking is important for any business. However, best of all is holding a great reputation by word of mouth and personal recommendations. Social media works to enhance a good reputation, but despite how shiny an online face can look, the substance behind it had better match, as social media can tear you down as fast as it can build you up. What’s behind the curtain, the smoke and the mirrors?

Communication is always important-whether it’s responding to an email in a timely fashion, letting people know not to call you as you won’t answer and to text instead so you can call them back (take heed of the communication guidelines people, they are in place for all of us!), or just staying in touch with people who love and support you and showing them some love in return.

What is the best advice you can give to those looking to become a Dominatrix?

First, ask yourself why you want to become a Dominatrix. If that reason is purely for money, being able to beat another human being, or any form of sex, then I suggest you re-consider your options. Being a Professional Dominatrix goes above and beyond the whips, the latex, and the role play. Being a true, successful, sustainable Professional Dominatrix means being a priest, a psychologist, a nurse, a businesswoman, and an accountant, as well as a Goddess. It is not an easy ride or a fast route to cash. It is a profession, and like all professions, it takes training, focus, dedication, and bloody hard work. Make sure you have the heart, brain, stomach, and training for it – or just play in private.

What other endeavors are you currently involved in and working on?

I always have other businesses and interests to run, as well as the Brighton Dungeon (for sessions with me and select rental), Brighton Erotic Boudoir (whole premises bookings for weekends), my Mistress Dometria boss lady brand (soon with merchandise on offer), my body building career, and my fitness company (where I have produced my own clothing range). I am a busy woman!

Where can people best find out more about you and your work?

You can find out more about me on my websites-all about me, with lots of delicious photos, stories, and news https://www.dometria.com

Take a tour around my dungeon https://www.brightondungeon.com

Check out my entire premises and plan a kinky weekend away with your partner, or book my dungeon space for professional play, photoshoots, or filming: https://www.brightoneroticboudoir.com

Any closing words?

The best way to get to know me is to come and see me!

It has been a pleasure to let you into my world and I look forward to seeing our interview in print!

Thank you Master

June 25, 2018 By slave_bunny 6 Comments

The curtains were pulled back just enough so the light of the moon bounced off her thin figure and perky breasts.

A lavender candle flickered.

A brunette with a pixie cut, Lila, walked slowly towards the busty, naked, hourglass shape sprawled out on the bed.

Lila held the candle in her hand. Her emerald eyes were illuminated by the flame.

She stopped at the edge of the bed, looked down at her prey, smirked, and placed the candle on the nightstand.

She knelt down and coolly grabbed four neckties of all different patterns out from under the bed.

Paisley. Striped. Blue. Plaid.

As she stood there with the ties in hand, hip cocked to one side, she asked,

“Are you ready to be my good, little slut?”

The blonde vixen, Miranda, turned her head (but nothing else) to face her. Miranda nodded slowly, bit her lip, and moaned quietly under her breath.

Lila calmly slid out of her camo booty shorts, and threw her tank top onto the armchair that lived in the corner of the room. Only her nude bra, black thong, and ankle socks remained on her toned frame.

“Here’s how this is going to go. I am going to tie each of your limbs to one of the bedposts using one of these neck ties. After I make a tie, I’ll remove one article of clothing. That’s your reward for being such a good, little, bound slut. Nod if you understand me.”

Miranda sheepishly nodded trying hard not to prematurely gush all over the bed. Her royal blue eyes were fixated on Lila, and how her curves looked in the candlelight.

Miranda’s left wrist was now tied to the bedpost. Lila leaned in so that her chest hovered right above the tip of Miranda’s nose. Her hands reached behind her body in a very casual manner to undo the nude bra that was keeping her supple tits at bay.

She took her time getting it unfastened. She did not want to rush any moment she had with her slave.

Her nipples were perfect. Not too dark. Not too big. The perfect way to end her immaculate, bouncy breasts.

Miranda’s right ankle was now neatly tied. Lila’s left sock hit the floor.

After each tie was made, she was sure to note whether Miranda had enough blood flow and that she could move her fingers and toes.

She was not the kind to want to harm anyone. She thrived off of pleasurable and willful submission.

A few minutes later, Lila finished typing Miranda’s right wrist. Lila liked to keep Miranda guessing. She loved asymmetry and having a particular pattern picked out that seemed spontaneous to her partners.

Lila’s right sock grazed the floor.

After the last tie was in place, Lila straddled Miranda, and lifted herself off her round, fit ass, so her pussy was in line with Miranda’s lips. Lila could feel her slave’s breath on her cunt..

“Take them off. With your teeth.”

Miranda’s mouth widened and gracefully caught the side of Lila’s panties.

She precisely and slowly pulled her mouth downwards until she could not move her head down any more.

They smelled of cum and anticipation.

With her panties wrapped around her shapely thighs, Lila stood, and slinked out of them the rest of the way.

Lila stared at her beautiful, human trophy with her head cock-eyed. A slight smile slowly made an appearance on her lips. A few seconds later, she caressed Miranda’s high cheekbones, sensually dragged one finger between her very large breasts, and kept going further down her slave’s luxurious torso. Before she reached Miranda’s adorable clit, she let her hand trail off to the side of her slave’s body.

Miranda arched her back and let out a few low moans, shuddering at her Master’s touch.

“Good girl,” whispered Lila.

Lila then tilted Miranda’s head forward ever so gently, and effortlessly placed a gag in her mouth.

Miranda smiled with her eyes. She could not believe such a sexy creature was taking the time to do this to her.

After the gag was secure, Lila straddled her again.

From this position, she took the candle off the nightstand, lifted the gag, and planted a kiss that would turn any head on the shoulders of any human.

Her tongue swirled around in Miranda’s mouth, touching her teeth. At first hard, then quite soft. As if to say, “This is all the love you will get tonight. The rest will be domination. Savor it. But don’t get too attached.”

Lila placed the gag back into her property’s mouth. Miranda loved the gag, but also loved kisses. It was a win-win from where she was laying.

A few moments later, Lila blew out the candle, breathed in the lavender aroma, placed her index finger in the wax, and pulled that finger down Miranda’s stomach.

Again, Miranda smiled with her eyes as small goosebumps rose on her skin.

With a calm inhale, Lila poured three droplets of wax onto Miranda’s gorgeous tits. Miranda arched her body once more, turned her head to face the window, and uttered a few muffled winces of pleasure.

Lila, with her free hand, cupped her property’s perfect peaks, and took a moment to suck on and bite each nipple with acute precision.

A sharp feeling of ecstasy trickled from from the tip of Miranda’s breasts all the way down to her toes. Her feet flexed, then pointed.

After seeing the readiness and enjoyment in Miranda’s eyes, Lila carefully poured the wax onto her slave’s porcelain skin, making the letter “L”.

This time Miranda moaned louder, and her body convulsed.

“That’s right you little, darling slut.”

Lila was very proud of herself. She loved seeing her property painted and tied up like this. As Lila watched the purple wax dry on flawless skin, she was very pleased with the work of art she had created.

She had her girl right where she wanted her. And better yet, her girl loved being there; she loved being owned by her Master.

“Lick me,” ordered Lila.

Lila’s shaved cunt was now lightly pressed against Miranda’s chin. Lila took the gag out of her partner’s mouth once more, and lowered herself so that Miranda’s tongue could easily access Lila’s perfect, pink, clit.

Lila braced herself by placing her hand across Miranda’s seductive features.

Lila’s hips moved back and forth as she rode her slave lightly. Miranda’s tongue was now wedged deep between her Master’s pussy lips. Lila’s head bent backwards and a few deep moans were echoed from her pouty mouth.

When she was about half way to orgasm, she pulled away from her property just enough so Miranda could lap up her wetness like the good girl that she was. Miranda began licking Lila similar to a kitten lapping up milk. So soft. So light. Just enough of a tease to make anyone quiver. Goosebumps adorned Lila’s arms and legs. Her body began to lightly shake as she rocked back and forth to the rhythm of her slave’s active tongue.

When she was quite close to cumming, she pushed Miranda’s face away from her body. She wanted to save her climax for later. She had more in store.

She went back to standing, and grabbed a vibrator from her dresser as well as a purple dildo. After placing a piece of her hair behind her ear, she instructed,

“You are not allowed to cum until I say so. No matter how much you want to. Do you understand, darling?”

Miranda nodded. Her glacial eyes now reflected a hint of worry. Lila had already brought her close to orgasm with the wax and the manipulation of her mouth. How could she endure any more?

Lila powered up the vibrator. First using it on Miranda’s face, then nipples, then waist, then thighs.

She stopped to use it on herself for a moment just to keep the suspense going. However, she held back and would not let herself cum. This was more for show than for orgasm.

After a few sensual inhales, she went back to using it on Miranda. First, on the face of her wonderfully bald pussy. Then, on the inner thigh. Finally, she placed it on Miranda’s adorable, pink clit.

She put the vibrator on max power and pushed hard into her slave. Miranda convulsed over and over again- similar to a fish out of water, and made loud, muted gasps through the gag.

Lila smirked, and inserted the dildo into her property as well. Miranda was so wet at this point, the dildo slid in in under a second.

With her right hand, she controlled the dildo. With her left, the vibrator.

“Take it, you whore. Be my obedient, little, good girl.”

Those words alone made Miranda have to use every ounce of self control she had left not to make the bed into a slip-n-slide.

Miranda’s eyes were welling up with tears of pleasure. Her temples began to throb. Her ivory skin was now completely flush.

Lila pushed into her harder with the vibrator.

A yelp could subtly be heard from Miranda’s heart-shaped lips.

Miranda’s eyes rolled back in her head. Her throat was exposed to Lila. Her eyes were facing the back wall. Her body was as far off the bed as it could go. Her vision was blurred. She could no longer think coherent thoughts.

“That’s right, kitten,”

“Ah!

“Oh!”

“Ah!”

“Oh!”

The dildo was going in and out of Miranda’s perfectly tight twat even faster now. She could barely contain herself.

Her body was sparkling with tiny sweat beads. She wanted so badly to pinch her erect nipples, but alas, her hands were tied.

The motion of the dildo became even faster. The vibrator began moving in circles and pressed even harder into her.

She was about to explode!

Lila stopped to bite Miranda’s swollen nipples. She licked up some of the sweat off her hip bone, and gave her neck a little nibble.

Lila then laid on top of her, and threw the toys to the side of the room.

She gazed into her slave’s eyes, and brushed the golden hair out of her face. Miranda was heavily panting.

“Good girl. You can cum now.”

Never breaking eye contact, Lila began to finger fuck her property. Miranda was dripping now. It was as if Lila’s fingers had gone swimming. Inside Miranda, it was absolutely frictionless.

Their breasts sat on top of one another, feeling the full intensity of each other’s body heat. There was no amount of space between them. Lila held her property close to her body, absorbing her sweat and breath. Their bodies began to move as one- almost as if they were dancing.

Lila could feel her slave’s fit pussy walls stretch and contract. Her three fingers fucked her slave hard and deep for a while. Then-

Miranda gushed all over the sheets.

Once Miranda had finished cumming, Lila went between her legs and licked up as much as she could.

Miranda’s breath went back to a more regular tempo. Her inhales were now full and long. Relief had been given to her.

When she was done tasting Miranda’s reward, Lila kissed her slave on the forehead.

“Sweet, girl.”

Lila removed the gag, and placed it by the candle on the nightstand.

“Thank you, Master,” were the only words that Miranda could muster.

About the Author:

Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

She has dedicated her life to working on herself mentally, spiritually, and physically, and hopes to inspire others to do the same. Through teaching and mentoring, she hopes to help everyone in the Kink community as much as she can.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.

Interview with Mistress Eva

June 11, 2018 By slave_bunny 8 Comments

Mistress Eva-https://www.youwillpleaseme.com/

Please tell our readers a little about your experience in the Kink community.

My interests were very much an introverted endeavour up until 2012. This is when I started training at the Salon Kitty’s dungeons to become a Pro Domme. It was here where I started to meet those with similar mindsets, and who encouraged me to start to explore the community at large.

I still keep largely to myself, but I do show my head when the energy or the desire strikes. This includes touring to Singapore (singaporedomme.com), Hong Kong (hongkongdomme.com), and further afield once a month to see/acquire personal submissives or Dom/me friends. I also maintain a few long distance connections that I really treasure – thanks to the online Kink Community. Otherwise, it’s a very quiet life in a bit of a jungle that I have for myself in the tropics.

Interestingly, I also find that attending larger events is less tough on my introverted personality if I do so in a ‘Pro Domme’ capacity. It’s as if the ‘persona’ builds a shield to make it possible for me to be there. When I do attend these events I do gather benefit and meet people that I adore – but I am also exhausted after.

A quiet kinkster in an ongoing battle between indulgence and introversion perhaps…

What do you think makes for a good Dominatrix- personality, skills, abilities, etc.?

I am going to address what I believe makes a good Lifestyle Domme as well as a Professional Dominatrix.

For both, I believe that a ‘good’ representation can come in many forms. Different combinations of personality, skill, and ability can work very well, and may suit different submissives accordingly. However, I do believe that there are a couple of qualities that are deeply beneficial for the best relationships or success in the long run – self-awareness and empathy. I believe that without these you will not be able to have a fair awareness of your relationship or scene. Personally, I believe that without this awareness, it is quite unlikely that genuine satisfaction or progression can come into play for any party.

Something I share with my slaves can perhaps better encapsulate this. I often tell them that ‘you cannot train anyone until you have trained yourself’. Training takes awareness and empathy, not only of the submissive, but of my own state of being, needs, strengths, and weaknesses.

In the case of a Professional Dominatrix, I would add that a business background or course would definitely benefit. You essentially want to think of yourself as a start-up company, and the innovative thinking that start-ups utilise to succeed will really help you navigate our market. It is a market of many obstacles in stigma and legislation – so perseverance and entrepreneurship is what you’re going to need.

Can you elaborate more on how your site works? How many slaves do you have? Where are they from? What is the overall training method used?

Since launching in January 2018, over 250 ‘slaves-in-training’ from six continents have taken my online courses at youwillpleaseme.com.

youwillpleaseme.com is my online slave training playground. Here, I have crafted a space that has four core courses. These courses train willing ‘slaves-in-training’ in understanding who I am, how I think, and what I want from them. They do this simply by completing each task. The tasks are laid out in a courseware format.

There are also simple daily tasks that are new each day to remind you of your service as well as ‘insider’ photos, videos, and ‘Dear Diary’ blog posts to expand your awareness of who I am. I believe that the most compatible service relationship will emerge only if you are in agreement of and have an awareness of my true personality and preferences.

Therefore, you could say that the overall training method I use is clarity of instruction, honesty of (my) personality, and perhaps (definitely) a hint of seduction. There is an element of the erotic that I always carry with me.My photos and audio/video instructions reflect and promote just this. Not to get into it too heavily, but I deeply believe that engaging with our sexuality is a powerful way to program my desires into those I touch.

What do you feel is the most effective way to conduct slave training?

Prior to the launch of my slave training site, I only met and trained slaves in real time. However, I have found that having my site proves a great way for potential slaves to get to know me, gauge their own interest, and improve their chances of serving me in deeper capacities – all without my constant supervision. This is both effective and efficient. Slaves get to know me in a deep way without the potential nerves, time, or finances that they may have had to invest in real time.

This has clearly also enabled me to find a more rapid number of compatible slaves worldwide in a way I would not have been able to even with all of my international touring.

This being said, it is also due to the clarity of my site and my capacity to communicate authentically and effectively – these qualities really shape the quality of the slaves that do commit.

Therefore, I believe that if you bring self-awareness, empathy, clarity, and communication to any slave training process-with proper planning, scheduled check-ins, an openness to redefining protocol, and compassion in recognizing change – beautiful outcomes and relationships will happen.

What are the benefits of online vs. in person training? What are the cons?

As mentioned, my online slave training site almost fast-tracks many in an awareness of who I am; it is able to reach all continents in a single moment, and I can effectively train many potential slaves at once.

To be honest, the longer that I am in the ‘online’ training world, I am seeing more similarities emerge between it and real-time relationships. Particularly in the patterns of growth, attachment, and relationship development.

However, for some there is definitely a physical tactility that is missed. I stress that this isn’t for all, contrary to what I may have thought prior to starting my online training platform.

I do assign physical tasks online that slaves do on my behalf, and for contracted slaves I do sometimes try to negotiate sending them to other consenting Dominatrices. However, again, this second point is not always welcomed as the service and contracted connection with myself is often the crux.

This all said, I personally still also adore in-person training. This is where my talent for intensity and the erotic often get a more challenging space to play in.

What are some things to avoid during training?

I feel that as thorough an awareness as possible of psychological background and potential triggers are necessary prior to an authentic training relationship/experience – for all roles involved.

I have recommended professional clinical assistance to those who I felt were not ready to step into a space with me, or others – I need my slaves to be able to at least sufficiently stand with their own minds before entering the challenge that will be our relationship.

Personally, I have also been caught in the trap of my own inflated ego over the years – and so I keep myself in check by regularly reflecting on the motivations behind my instruction/emotions during training. This makes sure that I am acting with the training’s best interests at heart and not putting myself unreasonably ahead of my slave’s current capacity – especially for ego’s sake!

In your opinion, what is the biggest benefit to being your slave?

I think one of my biggest strengths is that I am a uniquely genuine and kind leader that has the intelligence and emotional capacity to be able to draw lines fairly, and draw out potential in a remarkable, authentic, and sustainable way.

With how I am structured, my slaves benefit from this in a way that challenges them, that changes them, and that focuses them – but in a way that they sometimes don’t even notice.

I enjoy nuance, prioritize fairness, and adore deep, joyful, and satisfying growth, These are likely the sweetest benefits that a slave can acquire when they train with me.

What are some of your fetishes? How do these fetishes play out within your slave training site?

Protocol, intelligence, consideration, and I haven’t yet found the word but – that look in your eye when you’re experiencing something that you never imagined existed. I adore seeing you have your breath taken away.

I get to experience this ‘look’ by watching your pupils dilate in real-time; it is also expressed online through rising tributes, support, and incredible devotion – from those who engage authentically with the tasks on my slave training site. I see the outcomes of these tasks, and am notified when they are being followed genuinely.

Protocol, intelligence, and consideration – these are deeply integrated into the flow and content of the site itself- are the reasons why youwillpleaseme.com even exists. I also get extra kicks through a points system that is awarded to slaves when they adhere to/complete the online courses. This is their reward for adherence to its built-in protocol – which takes both intelligence and consideration to do authentically. Each month, I choose my best points earners for unique privileges that have included custom clips and even a day of service for a US sub during DomCon LA.

I also have many, many fetishes that are grounded in different things from visual to tactile to a touch of the sadistic. But in all honesty, these are indulged and used in order to serve my overarching motivations as mentioned above.

What is the biggest personal benefit you receive from the site and from being a Dominatrix?

Humility. Now, I understand how this could sound absurd coming from a Dominant. However, I am going to stand by it as my biggest personal benefit for the moment.

There is something about the constant indulgence in self-importance, and the adherence to it by my submissives and slaves that inspires a deep gratitude in me. It’s a gratitude that encourages me to self-reflect so as to keep a level head for us all. With this comes a humility that I never quite grasped in my life prior to life as a Dominatrix – where you get so many opportunities for interactions of the transparent D/s dynamic. I have had the opportunity to succeed and fail so many times, which allows me to move closer and closer to a sense of balance of relationship and self.

This humility is a grand quality that really eases my place in the world, and brings a deeper level of contentment to my existence.

Has the site, being in the Kink community, and/or being a Dominatrix led to self growth in your own life?

Very much so. In addition to the benefits in the last answer, my daily life has benefitted from a better understanding of negotiation and consent as practiced in the Kink Community. This is something even Dommes can battle with and compromise around widespread, public male entitlement.

I also feel a much better sense of self-acceptance and empathy through my experience as a Dominatrix – as so many encourage and clearly adore my personality as a Female Dominant (something else that society at large does not nurture or encourage).

What is the best advice you can give to those looking to become a Dominatrix?

There are really so many ways to go about it. There are many accomplished Dominatrices who both trained with dungeons/experienced Dommes, and those who gathered information through the community/self-learning.

I can largely speak to my experience as a dungeon- trained Dominatrix. Personally, I feel this was an incredible way to go about training as you are able to see the many styles at work, practice with all the equipment you may not be able to afford otherwise, and see the business of it in action – from the get go. You also get to pull on a wealth of diverse experiences this way, and you learn fast about the community at large and protocols of respect – or you’re out.

If you don’t have the opportunity to begin this way, or if it sounds unappealing, I would say to pursue a combination of classes, books, menteeship, and/or education that suits your interests. Try to assist others that suit your interests for a while, and then embark on a few trial sessions either with supervision or with a trusted sub who will commit to giving you constructive feedback.

This cycle actually never really ceases. I believe that the most sustainable, creative, and exciting Dominatrices continue on this path of knowledge, growth, and self-reflection.

Combined with an awareness of the market, marketing, business strategy, and solid accounting, you will build a sustainable business that can be incredibly rewarding on so many levels.

I’d also like to add that at some early stage you will want to start looking into studies or articles on the decriminalisation of sex work. You may face at least some inner or societal struggle, and this information will really help you frame what is happening to you and sex workers at large.

What is the best advice you can give to those looking to find a Dominatrix?

A very useful question. Personally, I think it is a good idea to think about what you want exactly. Are you a foot fetishist to the core and not interested in a D/s dynamic? Are you a beginner who doesn’t know where to start? Are you hungry for a meaningful D/s exchange?

Often, you might already know this by the porn you watch or the fantasies you have. If you need to tease it out, perhaps fill out an interests and limits worksheet. I really like the ‘BDSM Limits Worksheet’ by Michelle Fegatofi. It’s an extensive list, but by the end of it you’ll have a much clearer idea of where you stand on many, many kinks.

Once you have this in mind, either visit a reputable premises, and take your time to communicate what it is that you’re looking for to the receptionist/Dominatrices, or take some time to do some research on Twitter, listings, and forums for a Dominatrix that you think may match with your interests. Then, politely approach them in the way that they ask. Remember to please respect both the time of the premises and independent Dominatrices.

If you are searching for greater compatibility, I would suggest that you again take your time and further investigate social profiles, websites, and testimonials. There is so much information available these days, and many Dominatrices will clearly state their specialities and interests.

Again, I cannot reiterate enough to please respect the time and any protocol required in your initial contact. This will likely influence the tone of your actual session and the potential for any ongoing relationship.

Also for you, do at least a little Google search into the decriminalisation of sex work. It may help you if you have any qualms about the industry – and even if you don’t, it would help us a lot if you had a better sense of what we are up against. Thank you.

What is the best advice you can give to those looking to enter into any kind of D/s relationship?

As with any relationship, I would say get the best understanding that you can of who you are, how you operate, your needs and limits, and then do your best to communicate all of these from the get- go. As people in the Kink Community, we have the advantage of negotiation and consent being something popularly inherent to our interactions. So, take advantage of it. I wish you the best!

Also, please, please ensure that respect is mutual. Contrary to a novice belief, a Dominant that does not respect you and/or your needs or limits is disaster waiting to happen. If disaster is your thing, then this can also be negotiated by an experienced Dominant – and will be more sustainable long-term.

What is the most fun part about owning slaves?

I get to play all the time! This isn’t only in the sense of the physical, but in my words, mood, and my everything. Dominance and play is so deeply inherent to my personality, but it never got much chance to unleash itself before my life now. I now have a select circle that deeply understand who I am, and that play well with it or know how to give it space when it needs it. Thank you slaves.

I am also so blessed that my circle looks after so much for me. I don’t have to worry about anything day to day or long- term. Because of this, I can deeply relax into my personality and the small things that bring me joy, which is beneficial for everyone in the end of course.

Any closing words?

Just thank you Kink Weekly! I have been reading you for years now and I am really thrilled to be able to speak to you. You’re a fabulous resource and I appreciate the words that you share with the community very much. All the best!

About Mistress Eva

Mistress Eva left a storied corporate past to pursue professional domination in 2012. She began her training at the Salon Kitty’s dungeons in Sydney, Australia – and has since built an international career as a Professional Dominatrix.

Mistress Eva runs an online slave training platform, youwillpleaseme.com. She is now semi-retired in Bali and tours monthly to Singapore (singaporedomme.com) and Hong Kong (hongkongdomme.com).

Healthy Submission

June 4, 2018 By slave_bunny 5 Comments

Click here to read the sister article-Healthy Dominance

Last week, I touched on what makes for healthy dominance. This week, I’d like to flip the coin over and talked about healthy submission.

It’s so important for all individuals, no matter how they identify, to do what’s best for themselves and for all involved.

I cannot stress enough the issue of consent, abiding by hard limits/respecting boundaries, and not putting any individual in harm’s way.

With this being said, I would like to delve into what makes for healthy and safe submission.

First of all, just because you are an s type, does NOT mean you are every D type’s s type. What I mean here, is that just because you identify as a submissive, until you agree to be in service to someone, you are in NO WAY obligated to be in service to anyone. s types are still people that ALWAYS have the right to refuse anything they do not wish to consent to (unless you have a dynamic where you have consented to do whatever your D type requests even if it displeases you. But that’s an entirely different topic).

Second, I think it’s important to analyze your strengths, weaknesses, what you want to get out of your role as a submissive, and the type of relationship that you wish to be in-M/s, D/s, Big/little, Mentor/mentee, Handler/pet, etc.

Assessing and solidifying all these things will allow you to know what you can realistically offer, which will dictate what type or types of service are most suitable for you-which in turn will guide you to the type of D type and arrangement/relationship that will best suit you.

It’s also a good idea to take an internal inventory of how often and for how long you want to be a submissive, and/or how much time your schedule allows for you to take on the s type role. This information can also help guide you to the right dynamic. Some people just want to play, others want a 24/7 power exchange dynamic, others want to live the lifestyle for one weekend a month.

In short, analyze your wants and what you can realistically take on. Also, analyze your needs because sometimes needs don’t always go hand in hand with wants. Needs should always be met first, before wants. So, pick the situation that will best meet your needs, and if your wants are met as well, then that couldn’t be a more perfect fit for you. Obviously, the goal is to find an arrangement that fits both your wants and needs, but nothing in this world is perfect.

Third, think about your core values. Find a dynamic and/or D type that shares those values. It’s also important that the D type/House/Scene Partner/Relationship you choose has needs and wants that compliment yours. Basically, all parties entering into any kind of dynamic should have the same long term and short term goals for the relationship. If you would like a mentor, but the D type you are talking to wants a sex slave, then it is clear that your wants, needs, and goals are quite different, and the relationship most likely should not be pursued.

It’s also in your best interest to listen to your gut. If something does not feel right, it probably isn’t right. If you notice red flags, do not ignore them. It’s important to act in a way that will be most effective at keeping you from getting hurt physically, mentally, emotionally, and/or spiritually.

Disrespect, violating hard limits, abuse, non-consented to violence, or anything else like this should not be tolerated-unless it was otherwise consented to.

We have all met those creepy people that just send shivers up our spine and give the Kink Community a bad name. Bottom line, you have NO obligation to entertain them in conversation or do anything else with them. You have every right to leave, block them, etc.

Finally, I feel that once a relationship is consented to and has begun to be structured (but is not yet completely solidified), the s type should still be able to negotiate and have a voice all throughout the defining of the relationship. Yes, s types yield to their D types, but they should not yield until they are comfortable with, understand, and consent to what type(s)/kind(s) of power they are being asked to yield to.

I think when outlining a power exchange relationship, it should be taken from the point of view that there is an s type and D type, who are people with voices, that are going to work together to create the best situation possible for all involved.

In my opinion, power exchange dynamics should consist of some teamwork element, at least in the beginning.

Throughout the relationship, I also think it’s helpful to allow the s type time to speak authentically as a person. Meaning, setting a time where all parties are just viewed as equals talking to one another with the shared goal of building the best dynamic possible. This could occur monthly, weekly, daily, yearly-whatever is going to work best. I have known some to call this “sacred space.”

Because after all, s types are still people, and I believe, when appropriate, they have a right to be heard.

D types should never treat their s types as anything but human (unless otherwise consented to).

s types and D types all bleed red. They just have different roles, needs, wants, fetishes, hard limits, soft limits, and goals. And all of of these vary from person to person.

If you take a humanistic approach when it comes to dynamics and scenes, I feel that the overall scene and/or relationship will be that much more genuine and fulfilling, since there is an underlayer of respect and understanding guiding all parties the whole way.

As always feel free to comment and ask questions. Thanks for reading and stay tuned!

About the Author:

Slave Bunny, a 1950’s power slave, is involved in a wonderful and loving TPE 24/7 M/S relationship with her Master and husband. She is also the Creative Director of Kink Weekly.

Feel free to add her on Fetlife (Slave_Bunny992) to see her upcoming workshops and classes.

slave_bunny

<img decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-5290" src="https://www.kinkweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/eva-300.png" alt="eva-300" width="300" height="229">Mistress Eva-https://www.youwillpleaseme.com/

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Mistress Eva-https://www.youwillpleaseme.com/