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Interview

anniebear Interviews Justin Sayne Leather

February 22, 2016 By anniebear 2 Comments

alligator cuffs

I sat down with Justin Sayne in his downtown loft during his last week in Los Angeles. He was in the midsts of packing up his shop and moving back to Arizona to continue his work.

anniebear: We’re here with Justin Sayne of Justin Sayne Leather-see what he did there (laughs). So you craft fine leather toys and accessories. You’re pretty well known for that because you use some interesting materials, that being the crocodile skin. Is that something you’ve always worked with or did you sort of happen upon that material?

alligator paddles

Justin: I came across that material a couple of years ago at a leather convention in Prescott, AZ of all places. I saw the tales from across the room and I’m like that’s a fetish toy. I wasn’t sure how and I wasn’t sure what, I mean it was thirty yards away and there was a table of them. From great big to small and I was thinking that’s brilliant, that’s the part of the animal that nature intended to be a whip-this is on! Coincidentally when I looked at it I realized I already made single tales in the same fashion out of latigo. Pretty much the stuff they make belts out of. A couple of other toys, little slappers were pretty much the same thing the only difference was the material and exactly what to do with the material. The parts we’re using it doesn’t really matter if its alligator or crocodile because the part is about the same on both animals at that point. I generally use farmed alligators because that’s what’s available a lot. But strangely enough we’ve gotten elephant, giraffe, the list is just so vast of what the exotics are right now and what’s coming. You’ve not seen anything unless you’ve seen an elephant trunk flogger.

Do you have one?

I sold it.

(Laughs) Was the elephant ill gotten?

No no no! They’re farming them and more than that we outlawed the import of trophies so the safari trade died. That’s where all the poaching material is going to anyway. Nobody told mom nature that we were going to quit taking animals. It’s not like we were hunting only the ones-there was still a controlled hunt in Africa. The poachers were taking too many. Well elephants and giraffes breed well. Rhinoceroses not so much, I can’t get rhino. But you tell mom nature that now you need the water and food and space not all of the animals that are but all of their offspring, their not going get knocked off they’re not going to be hunted and thinned out so you just don’t turn up mom nature. Now they’re to the point where the government is paying people to come and take them. On top of the farms. That’s what happened with the lion deal. There’re so many big animals out there this country says I can get more out of this used up lion by taking this animal the other males are going to push further and reproduce even harder.

So when I ran into the alligators, there’re tons of these, there’s plenty of them but not so many that everybody is going to be able to get their fingers on it.

Do you dye the leather yourself or do they come in those colors?

They come in so many colors. Seriously, this mix up in the Middle East has done weird stuff like they’ve been raising sheep and lambs over there for a long time, they still do it by hand. And we weren’t getting a lot of the import export trade out of the
Middle East for a long time so now we’re in a situation where all of these skins have hit the market and not only has it put the Asian, American, South American markets on alert because here’s a whole new continent putting out skin and not only the skin they’re producing now but the stuff that’s stacked up over so many years. So everyone is stepping up their game. The leather is just bitchin’ right now. I can get lambskin that look like a mirror.

A mirror?

Yes, you can see yourself in them.

Do you feel like the flogger and toy market has been more saturated because of that or has it kind of just stayed steady?

Well you’re seeing some of those materials in the custom market and strangely enough its giving us the leverage to compete with the “use it once throw it away” market. Before a guy with an idea and a cute little leather toy really kind of got chuckled at when he said he was going to make a living off of this. These days it may be beans and rice it may be very fancy beans and rice.

Do you work by yourself or do you have friends or colleagues?

Up to now I’ve worked with myself. I’m starting to add others and its kind of odd. There’s a lady from Indiana I met her here [in Los Angeles]. She’s actually looking at coming to Arizona to work full time as well, between the two of us I’ve got more shop space than both of our Los Angeles places combined. Another fella has been adding some support and he’s going to be around a while. So I mean people are starting to catch on and hang on you can kind of tell you’ve got something going when people start to show up.

Right, and support.

As opposed to “hey man high fives can I get a discount”?

So how long have you been working with leather in general?

I started, what is this 2016? I started in 09-10.

Quite awhile then. Self taught?

Yes and no. I had a really good mentor, Debbie and she actually hired me-it’s a long story. She hired me on a whim. I knew nothing about leather it wasn’t even to do with leather it happened to be her show season and when I was done with what she had me do she asked me if I could model a loin cloth. And I’m like what the fuck is a loin cloth. A couple of very uncomfortable pictures later she kind of figured I was a good sport and started showing me what I was doing. The fetish stuff actually came from-it started in her shop and being a single woman with a child in a small town and a quiet leather business she decided it was too much fan for her fire so she taught me everything she could at that time and mostly; 1. Don’t ever turn down a leather worker that really needs something ever. 2. Always teach someone that’s serious about cutting leather, never say no, no matter how much you don’t like them and, 3. Don’t ever make a mistake. Ever. If you break something lay it aside and see what its good for.

Like if you make a wrong cut on something because you can always parts of it later?

Well a mistake is something you didn’t mean to do that means that its different, that there’s potential there, its just not what you need today.

That’s a really good way of looking at stuff.

You see what I mean? It’s not like tearing a piece of paper, something had to die for that. So you make a bad cut you can’t throw it away but even on the floor I just sweep it up, the little tiny pieces in the nooks and crannies. I keep as much as I possibly can. I’ll find something for it. It’s something waiting to happen. Some of my best stuff as far as I’m concerned was junk that was lying around the shop that one day I happened to be straightening up and set them together and go GASP! It happened to me the other day.

My bandana was lying on the floor. I use these for shit. They’re fun. But girls especially are familiar with a nice soft cotton bandana. My stuff is expensive, I’m looking for stuff under $100, stuff under $100 made of leather-people don’t want it. They complain it’s too expensive. You hand them something that’s worth $100 for $50 and they’re like “but this $400 one is so nice.” So it’s a struggle. So I’m sitting here thinking what about blindfolds, what about gags. If you just fold these and sew them and maybe put a leather band around them, everybody knows how to use this as a blindfold, they know how to tie it, its comfortable. Do it a little further and you’ve got a ball gag. It’s beginner stuff, its cheap but they come in all colors. Point is, I’ve had a million of these. But the one that was laying on my table, I was like, look there’s my blindfold. It’s a mistake! I took my thing off and laid it on the table.

And then the idea!

That’s where it comes from. The bulk of what I’ve got that was cool either came from a mistake or trying to right a wrong or trying to fix something I broke. Even the leather convention I was at when I found the alligator was because I made the mistake of actually buying expensive leather. I needed something cheaper. I had to go digging that up. That was the last thing Debbie taught me. Make those mistakes home runs.

alligator whip

Switching gears a little, it seems like you’re pretty active in the LA scene.

I wouldn’t say I’m active. I appear.

You make appearances (laughs). So you hosted the slave auction and you’ll go to the market events with your leather. Do you really go to play parties much?

No. If I’m not working it, I don’t go.

How did you get into the stuff that you go to in the community? Did you just approach people and say hey can I host or did you already know people?

When I got to do the slave auction I was new in LA. I wasn’t even sure that I was staying. I was just lingering. My problem, the issue I had with moving here-there’s business and there’s pleasure and in my situation those too things massively overlap. So my thought was don’t go into a scene (into this scene) expecting to make the money and get the women and not give back. Because that’s really what it comes down to but that’s exactly how these people are going to see it. “Who is this guy? We’ve been building this scene forever. Now he’s going to come in here and earn off of us and get the girls and giggle?” No. That ain’t nice. So before I even busted out a toy or even told anybody who I was I went to the dungeon, I paid the cover I told them what I wanted.

First time I got toys out was in private with the boss. The first time I got a toy out in LA on this trip was out of request in private. That being said, I left those toys in that private room. Went to the club I paid to hang out in. That’s the way it was for the longest time. From those conversations actually I heard about the slave auction and went and begged for the opportunity. I had to straight out explain I’m a retired auctioneer. I’ve never done a slave auction. This was just great! What can I pay, I’ll donate stuff! And they asked me to come back indefinitely as far as I know. Its really just about giving before I expected anything. That’s how its supposed to be. I just got active by just trying to pay some respect before I expected anything and I don’t know if it worked but I tried. I’m sure I got my haters.

I haven’t heard of any haters!

Oh come on, at least one or two?

Nah.

Ok…I’ll try harder.

Justin working in his shop.
Justin working in his shop.

(Laughs) How long have you been kinky either actively or just knowing it was within yourself?

My mom bought a strip club when I was fourteen. And I got to work in there

When you were fourteen?

Yup.

You really got an education.

Yea, I wouldn’t have been able to define kinky when I started cutting leather. I really thought that I was just the naughty black sheep more than anything. I worked strip clubs my whole life. Gotten out of it, got back into it. Actually paid my way to auctioneer school from selling some stock and my tips from Christies. Everything that I did in life was from what I was making at the strip club. By the time I got cutting leather I’d gotten out of all that. My son was around full time, gotten a house in the middle of nowhere, little cottage. I was done. It was actually Debbie that said the market’s down I need for my RenFair material to turn black and have a line of toys so I can just double up easily. She just simply had this theory that the closest thing to RenFair material was bondage material and she would just simply cross over. She thought it would be seamless.

So I didn’t know what a flogger was. She sent me home to figure out a line of toys and I didn’t even know the definition of flogger. You could have shown that to me and I’d have been like oh that’s tickly! Now when I finally started going to parties I realized there’s something to this and where I’m from you don’t hit girls so that was a problem. And I kind of came out of the Phoenix scene and was extremely heavy handed. So you can see that from the toys, I mean they’re brutal. And I can’t say I always knew I was kinky but I do know that the journey when I figured out what kink was on accident, there was definitely a fit there, an outlet personally I had no idea I had an artistic bone in my body. You know the whole artists label is something that I try to shun. But people keep using that word and people could be wrong but I didn’t even know that existed much less creativity. I knew I could get through my life but some of the stuff I’ve seen come off my table I never dreamed of. I didn’t know I was kinky until in the essence of the word until I found a girlfriend that made me confortable. There I was dabbling, earning, designing, providing toys for people to be kinky providing stuff kinky had never seen before and there I was, “can you show me how to use this?”

This thingy I made?

No seriously, I had a string of Doms that would handle my shit and try it out because I had zero clue and had no problems saying so! And don’t want to, go on right ahead. I really didn’t know I was kinky until I was dating this fetish model that she sat down at my table and we made her a toy. And it was a slappy and stingy on one end and had a real thuddy handle and then it had a tickly tip on the other side. And that was what she wanted. She Wanted thuddy, tickly, and stingy. And we went through the whole entire process of custom making something just for her tender little needs. And by the time it was done I was dying to use it and it worked very well. (laughs)

alligator whip 2

I saw some of your stuff in The Black Room [a fetish leather store] in Vegas. That’s pretty awesome huh?

Yea I love those guys

How long has that been going on?

Franz [the owner] has been supporting me from the jump! That guy, that scratchy old German no matter how pissed off, busy, late, that guy has been a supporter from the beginning. As far as I’m concerned, there’ll be stuff in The Black Room until The Black Room Turns white.

Yes, we actually interviewed Tara while we were in Vegas but Franz couldn’t join us.

She is phenomenal, she works her ass off.

I know they’ve been having a hell of a time in Vegas with all of the drama with the dungeon. It’s a shame.

What’s worse than that, Tara took on that whole entire place so the globe would have an accessible dungeon to come and have and they could fly straight into Vegas. Her heart is in this. If the best place to put that would have been Berlin and she’d have had that opportunity she would have went there. The fact that it’s so easy to get into Vegas from every country on Earth, and just minutes from the airport in a place that size, the fact that she would take that on. The community should have busted their ass to make sure she succeeded, there should have been zero question.

It seems the local community there isn’t unified around any one thing.

I had a club in Phoenix, I don’t know what it is but it’s a real fractured community as well. Not as much now but it was then just like Las Vegas. Somebody new coming up now we’re gonna have a place to play. It’s not that it was up against the fifty others. Here’s a place you can buy a piece of leather you can get strapped to a cross, scream as loud as you want and oh yea if you get here before ten o’clock there was a Greek restaurant in the parking lot. I’d have free night and people wouldn’t show up. Now some nights the place was packed even if it was a twenty dollar bill to get in. When it came to hey lets make sure we maintain this space no matter who’s running it, nope not even a flicker and then everyone will complain that there’s no place to go. Not like in LA where if you don’t like where you’re hanging out there’s three others within driving distance. That has nothing to do with the house parties.

What advice would you give to someone brand new just starting out?

Take advice. We all give it, you should take it. You don’t have to take it and run with it but take notes. Maybe ask around. Take that advice to a munch or a party. Spread it out a little bit, asking will fill someone else’s ears that hadn’t heard it. I mean I could give “play safe” but nobody is going to listen to that. Take advice, We all have some. And as many Domly Doms that are out there that will chuck it out for free, suck it up, take it with a grain of salt if you have to. We’ve all had experiences. We’ve all fucked up, me first. We’ve all hurt people we didn’t mean to. Don’t hang your head and be like “I didn’t know.” We’re not all super Dom or super sub. Don’t be shy about stealing advice, dip into other people’s conversation. Butt in if you have to. I don’t think there’s anything better that can be said.

Tagged With: interview, Journey, justine sayne leather, Los Angeles, toys

anniebear Interviews Tara from The Black Room

February 15, 2016 By anniebear 1 Comment

On our recent trip to Las Vegas for the AVNs, we sat down with Tara, manager of The Black Room a fetish leather store in the area. We talked about all things Vegas, dating, and the BDSM scene abroad.

anniebear: Your store The Black Room is kind of a fixture here in Las Vegas and I know you get a lot of tourist traffic as well and you and Franz are local community/BDSM figureheads?

Tara: To a degree. Not as much as some people think. In the last few years we have made more in roads but sadly in Vegas its very divisive. And we have found that when you kind of get involved with one thing even if you’re doing it with the best of intentions another group will be upset with that so to make everyone happy we really do keep our distance. That’s why we don’t really affiliate with a single group here or there. It’s a very unique place Vegas. And the community as I said there’re all these little niches and you just try to make everyone happy. I found that that’s really hard to do because last year at this time I had a dungeon here in town. And sadly it closed and I’m not angry about it but I am disappointed about it but I really never had any local community support to keep it going, which I found very surprising. I really did. I really thought- I don’t want to say you build it they will come but I thought it would have had more local people than I did.

Dexx: That was Faust right? Can you tell us more about that?

The idea behind Faust was I always wanted a dungeon based on a European model. I’d been to many places in Germany and Holland and things like and what we wanted to do was give a place to play that people who were new to the scene or very much into it or very experienced could come to a place that was for fetish only. Faust was not a sex club. It wasn’t like a lot of the other places here. That’s fine that’s there thing but that’s not what we were about. We were about play. When we opened, we had a fantastic opening night I mean it was brilliant and we had an 8000 square foot place. I had a building that was 20,000 square feet and I had plans to expand if things had gone well and I really had this idea of doing it the way no one had ever done it before I mean it was much more than just having a cross here a flogging table there. I really had a lot of stuff planned. But I invested quite a bit of my own money, what I could afford. I had a partner from Belgium, Roger Muiller. Roger and I both had that same vision. And if you go on Faust on Facebook, I still have my site up and you can see photos of it. We had a really wonderful lounge area where people could just relax before they played or after just to get them in the mood or to wind down. In the lounge area no play was allowed-but it didn’t work here in town. I think part of it, like I said lack of community support and part is because I had to be very careful how I advertised. The city didn’t give me a hard time. But in this city you also have to be very careful how you do things. And if I’d have been like in your face kind of like a lot of the nightclubs are they would have shut me down quick. So I was trying to work under the radar but again metro knew about me metro came in on a number of occasions, never had a problem with it but it was a glorious failure as I’d like to say.

anniebear: I did visit the space it was beautiful.

You know I had some interesting nights. I wont deny it. I did have great memories but it just didn’t work.

anniebear: And how did The Black Room come about?

[The Black Room] owner Franz, he had this place in Irvine, CA. He was there for fifteen years and he had it in the back of a jewelry store his wife owned and was quite successful. But it was much more of a local community kind of little shop. His wife sadly passed from leukemia in 2010 and he came out here. He started in October 2010 here with basically all he had which was whatever he had placed in storage because he had closed the business to take care of his wife. So we had that and I came on about four months after he opened. And we just tried everything you can think of for advertising, we had some pieces that we brought in here that we thought would be great sellers, didn’t sell at all. Other things that we knocked heads about, sometimes he was right sometimes I was right. (laughs) For instance late last year we instituted a line of adult baby and it is flying off our website! We cannot keep stuff in fast enough. We get lots of hate letters from people who are waiting and we’re trying to get stuff in as fast as we can!

anniebear: I thought you were going say you get hate letters from people saying that they’re against the store (laughs)

Yes, they’re just in tears (laughs). Now I have nothing against infantile play, its great people love it but I didn’t think it was as popular as it is. And that surprised me, happily. That has really taken off for us, we I think have a good reputation on the quality of stuff that we sell. We try to bring in as much from Europe as possible. I won’t deny that we do have a little bit of what I would call inferior quality for beginners. Because obviously beginners don’t want to spend a lot of money but I still want to sell to them so I bring in the “fifty shades of gray” line, the stuff that’s very basic. You may get one or two uses out of it. You may buy a flogger that costs you $10 and the purist in me doesn’t want to sell it I hate it but business is business and it does sell. But for those who are more knowledgeable or have more experience they really do like our stuff and that makes me very happy. I am one of those people I won’t sell something to you if I just don’t think you’re ready for it. And I will tell people that straight to their face, you’re not ready for this. If you really really want it I’ll sell it to you but if you’re asking my opinion you’re not ready for that. And I think that has shown that we’re very honest with our customers.

I read things on Yelp and it’s usually nice things but somebody wrote one time that they said, “I came in there a stranger and I walked out a friend.” And that that makes me happy because those are customers which are going to come back. Even with tourists I won’t just sell something to a tourist thinging, “well I’ll never see them again.” And that have proved to be nice because we have had a lot of return people. I’ve had people from Australia, New Zealand, even Germany that will come here and will say we came to Vegas, yea we’re going to have the “Vegas experience” but our first stop was your store. That really makes me feel good because that tells me we’re doing something right.

Do we make mistakes of course, do we get people mad at us of course. That’s business. Its like I was trying to tell Franz one day the more you sell online the more you’re opening yourself up to criticism because he hates to see criticism but you have to roll with the punches. I say if you’re selling ten pieces and you get one complaint, it’s 10% of your business. If you’re selling 100 pieces and get 10 complains its still only 10%. So you have t look at it in that perspective.

Interior of The Black Room
Interior of The Black Room

anniebear: How did you meet Franz then?

It was funny, I had come back from Ireland. I’d come here in the early 2000’s got a little homesick and went home. Then the economy crashed in Ireland and I thought well there’s no way I want to stay here and live on the dole so I came back to Las Vegas, I have family here. And I was actually working in a sex club as a bartender. It was very funny because a sex club is not my personal kind of thing and I just stood behind the bar and it was just a meeting place. I always had people say they came in there just to come talk to me even if they never got lucky in the club they still had a good time because you know I have a talent, if you would for making people laugh.

anniebear: I’m sure you make a great bartender.

I met Franz, he came in one time. We got talking and then he had come in a few other times and we just hit it off. And he said to me “if you ever want to come work for me let me know and I’ll hire you on the spot.” And I said “yea ok thanks, etc.” I finally had gotten tired of the club it wasn’t me and it wears on you those places always do just like I always hear escorts say they can do it for so long and then just burn out. I was in this [BDSM] world myself as a player and I’d been a pro-Domme for more years than I care to admit but he found out I was no longer working there and I didn’t contact him or anything but he gave me a call one day and said do you want to come work for me and I said yes!

anniebear: And do you usually get along?

It’s funny because you know believe me we have some knock down drag outs but what’s really good is that we do leave it at business. Before he had his new fiancé, many times we would go out on a Saturday night after work and go to dinner and go do some karaoke or something. He’s like a big brother. And Franz is very knowledgeable, he has some really good contacts in Germany and because of that Franz gets his stuff direct and it eliminates a middle man which obviously gives us the ability to sell stuff at really what I consider reasonable prices. We have very much beginner stuff that’s very cheap and we have some really high end stuff and it can be expensive. But for the most part if you look at the pieces and the quality of it it’s reasonable.

tara 1

anniebear: Have you spent much time in Germany?

I have been there on a number of occasions but I’ve never lived there. The last time was in 2001. I had to visit the Kit Cat club and if you haven’t been go!

anniebear: When you were a professional Dominatrix, that was in Ireland?

No that was in Holland. I was very much my own enterprise. I never believed in working under other people like that because the more people that are about the more likely you’re going to get in trouble. Just like if I did it here I wouldn’t do it as a group or under anybody else or have a website because the police troll those things in Vegas. Even though no sex is involved, if they want to bust you they will. But I had very interesting clients in Holland. It was a little bit different, the late 80s early 90s, tastes changes just like styles change but I when I was doing it it was much more what people would call the run of the mill play. I never had anything really unusual, in my mind. I’m sure a lot of the stuff to vanilla people would seem unusual but it was –your basic floggings, whippings, anal play, CBT, piercings, things like that. I had basic clients, some people who were local politicians at the time. That was the biggest thing I always noticed. It always amazes me how many professional people are in this lifestyle, maybe because they’re more open minded or have more time or funds, I don’t really know. Most of the people that I knew in Holland were very much professional people.

anniebear: We’re always interested in hearing about what the scene is like in other cities and countries.

In Europe what surprises me too, Vegas is such a visual town when you go it’s “I’m in Vegas I’m going to do myself up,” it surprises me when I first came here you see that we [at The Black Room] are more about fashion and clothing than we are about equipment though we have been bringing that part of it too. It really surprises me about the number of people who are local that really don’t dress up and for us when you went to a dungeon or club that’s what it was all about. I mean yes everybody played but you saw the stereotype people, in corsets the men in suits, special rubber suits or leather or latex, masks. And you really don’t get that here. The most you seem to get is people who will wear a black t-shirt maybe biker boots and a vest as far as the men go. A lot of the women just get naked which is fine to each their own. But in Europe it was all about the image was part of the fantasy. Part of the atmosphere of the club that’s really lacking here.

anniebear: In LA I feel that people dress.

Dexx: It varies from event to event, but some people do.

anniebear: It seems like Vegas has a lot of old school players or people that have been in the scene for years and years and don’t really deviate much from those rules to the point of not being inclusive.

They do and people have a right to do and believe what they want. I don’t have any issue with that. What I don’t like and I’m just speaking for me personally, I’ve never sat there and called out anybody on this, what I don’t like is how many times I’ll hear the chatter online that if you don’t do it this way or that way you’re just dabbling your not really serious. Or you don’t know what lifestyle play is all about. Who anointed them the “S & M guardian.” To me if you’re thing is getting tied to the bed and getting spanked a few times before you engage in sexual play, if that’s your kink then that’s your kink and there’s nothing wrong with that. So I really don’t like when people do that. And I hear a lot of that. I don’t know if goes on like that in LA but I just saw so much criticism about the way people play. I get annoyed when I hear some club say we’re a male dominated society and our group is all about male dominance. Ok that’s fine I don’t have problem with that but for somebody who is new to the scene or doesn’t understand it when they come to their group, they’ll turn around and insult them, “oh you’re a switch or a male submissive get out of here.” That’s just rude, I’m sorry. I always thought we were about educating each other as much as the pubic at large and I hear a lot of that.

tara 2

anniebear : What advice would give to someone brand new starting out exploring the lifestyle?

Be careful. Ask loads of questions; don’t be afraid to ask questions. I also say that if there’s something you are interested in, try to find people that you first trust and who know a bit about what it is you’re interested in. And let’s say for instance you’re into electrical play, play with more than one person. If possible-I’m going from the aspect that you’re not attached to anybody. You find somebody you trust, you play. If you really like it fantastic. If it’s not what you thought it was don’t just discount it. Try somebody else and see how they do it because everyone is different in their techniques. So you may find, ok I like it but that first person just wasn’t good at it or you may try it with two or three different people and you just don’t like the experience. You say ok that’s not for me. Use your head, just be intelligent. I’d like to think that most people that get into this are fairly intelligent. Someone who’s willing to be submissive say, wouldn’t play with someone without asking questions. It’s a dangerous pastime if you don’t take your precautions. Just ask loads of questions and be smart and if something in your head says this isn’t right you stop, walk away. Don’t feel like you have to prove anything to anyone.

For somebody who is new I’m always leery of the people that say “I don’t do the munch thing because I find them to be ridiculous” that kind of red flags me. When people around these public sites say that. Not that you have to do a munch but the great thing about them is if you’re a regular attendee most people kind of know you and you know them so if you’re somebody new and you can meet them at a munch and ask around. It lays the ground work.

Dexx: What do you think it’ll take before Vegas could have another public dungeon again?

Well, Franz and I have talked about this and we have a plan in place if the cards fall properly. We would love to do something in the space next door to us. We would like to turn it into a weekend play space. I think what it takes is it’s hard –the most ideal way to do it in this city is in a private residence. But the trouble with most private residences is that if you want the perfect place it’s going to cost a ton of money to rent and the trouble is with most houses is the rooms are too small. And then there’s parking or upset the other residences. It’s tough. It’s a shame that Vegas is a little bit tight assed but they are. I always laugh and jokingly say this town loves the nickname but they don’t like the actuality. Yea we’re Sin City the adult playground of the world. Come spend your money but you can’t do that you cant do that.

Dexx: Keep your panties on there! (laughs)

Like the AVNs it’s a porn star thing or the Fetish and Fantasy Ball and everyone knows what its about and yet people get so bent out of shape when they see boobs, even if the nipples are covered, they see boobs; and oh my God! It’s what it’s about.

anniebear: It’s the American way to have that reaction.

You know Ireland is still a very conservative place and they say oh you have such freedom in Vegas you can do what you want and I’m like really? I can get in better trouble in Dublin than here. It is what it is.

anniebear: So, are you seeing anybody right now?

No I’m not and it’s hard for a number of reasons and you’re going to laugh at this. I just like regular run of the mill, straight fellas and I’m a post op so it’s hard to find regular straight fellas who are A) comfortable with my past, B) are at least interested in this lifestyle, or C) because they know I work here it scares the hell out of them. Its like oh I don’t think I could handle her. She’s gonna be too much or too wild for me.

anniebear: Are you a switch do you prefer domination?

To say I’m not would be a lie, I am a switch but the way I say that is I do pro Domme occasionally. I do have some clients that come into town a few times a year, not a ton. But for my own personal play I’m a bottom. I can do the Domme role, I’m good at it but I don’t get the excitement I get out of being a submissive.

Dexx: Are the Germans as kinky as their reputation would suggest?

Yes. It’s a good thing! Franz said this once to me and I don’t know if he was really joking about it or meant it-the Germans when they approach their business, the business days are very straight forward, very proper, all the T’s are crossed, everything is efficiency. So I think when they have their down time according to Franz he says that’s when we let our hair down and that does make sense because I do have loads of friends who are Germans and they’re kinkiest you’ve ever met. They don’t broadcast it but they don’t conceal it, where I have friends who are really kinky in Ireland, I mean Irish men are trust me the kinkiest things going but they all deny it.

Tagged With: bdsm, interview, las vegas, leather, toys

anniebear Interviews Troupe of Slaves

January 28, 2016 By anniebear 1 Comment

Photo by Troupe of Slaves
Photo by Troupe of Slaves

Troupe of Slaves is an iconic fixture to the kink photography scene. Most notably their work has been widely regarded on FetLife for it’s depiction of predicament bondage, humiliation, and detailed group shots. I recently spoke to Old Master, the organizer of the Troupe of Slaves photos via phone from London.

anniebear: I’m personally a huge fan. I’ve been in kink for a little over two years at least actively playing and I found your photos pretty early on and so I’m a big admirer.

Old Master: Thank you! We’re quite popular. Fame is my biggest worry.

So I take it you keep it pretty underground just maybe to the cast of characters and yourself?

Yes, I don’t really go clubbing and things like that. I go to bed fairly early. But I’ve got a great space where I shoot so everything kind of happens under our roof.

Is it a specific studio photography space or…?

It’s the warehouse space that’s connected to my work and I have a flat there as well. It’s a beautiful space, its great. I just clear everything out to take the pictures. Its got the plain walls and floor boards and that’s become a kind of signature of our pictures.

I notice you say you don’t worry about your watermarks because its pretty obvious what a Troupe of Slaves photo is.

Well I don’t really chase pictures, I mean they do get stolen and you see them all over the net. The popular ones-but I can’t keep track of them, you know?

How long have you been taking photos?

Probably about six years. I just never planned this it just kind of happened organically. Really. We were just exploring the kink scene and almost jokingly I was the master and skinny was the slave you know – Old Master and skinny slave. We used to call ourselves old and skinny (laughs). I just used to take the odd picture and I’d think about the pictures-one thing I am is sort of artistic and always have been my whole life. And bit by bit the photos just started taking over in a way- it was the art side that really grabbed me. And once we did that as I said which was about six years ago its just been a huge success really its just taken off.

You have a pretty unconventional way of taking photos because you only use an iPhone or iPad?

Yea well I started off-I knew nothing about photography and I just used to take them with my mobile. As it started to take off and the pictures started becoming popular, well I thought I should try a proper camera. When I started using the camera, they kind of lost their magic, the pictures. Then they started looking like other peoples pictures. I actually like the medium. Some people might like using oil paints or pencils and [the iPhone] that’s my medium. It’s a mobile and I like that slightly poor quality to the picture it kind of gives it something.

Photo by Troupe of Slaves
Photo by Troupe of Slaves

To me it looks like they were taken with a professional camera so you fooled me.

Well something that has happened is, they have got better-the cameras in the phones from when I started. Some of the early shots are really bad quality, but I love them. It’s sort of this lack of quality that gives them character.

You and skinny are in a dynamic or relationship?

We’re partners. We’re not officially married but that’s by choice. And we worked from sort of the beginning of this kink stuff.

She seems to be your most recurring model.

Well I live with her, so she’s here all the time. She’s very handy.

You have a pretty large cast of friends and cohorts that you use regularly?

It’s huge really. We must have shot over fifty people but I suppose we have about fifteen –I’m thinking of doing my biggest group picture yet. See how many people I can fit into the studio. And I imagine it’d be about fifteen regulars.

That’s awesome. I like your photos because there’s always something I missed looking at it just once so you have to go back and examine the group shots more closely to catch everything in more detail.

People don’t realize that lots of planning goes into it, even on the simpler pictures. But we try and make it look spontaneous but it is usually well planned.

How do you develop your ideas? Do they all come from you or is it a group decision?

I suppose they’re mainly from me but sometimes they come from other places or members of the group and sometimes Skinny has a few ideas as well. It’s mainly me.

Well you must have a very devious mind indeed.

You know, people do say that.

I think for myself and people who read Kink Weekly they would find it to be an admirable quality

I think we’re always humorous, people think I knock religion but I knock BDSM just as much.

You kind of have to laugh about some of it.

We are mainly humorous really that’s what we do.

Photo by Troupe of Slaves
Photo by Troupe of Slaves

So being that you’re fairly private about Troupe of Slaves, have you ever had any gallery or studio shows to display your photography to the general public?

Yes, we’ve been asked to be in several books and websites, things like that. Skin Two magazine – its quite a famous magazine, mainly latex based – its actually non-pornographic even though its sexual-they’ve featured us a couple of times. The producers of that magazine helped me set up a website. I designed the look of it but they did the technical side. I’m thinking of doing a book-well I’m being encouraged to do a book so we’ll probably discuss that fairly soon.

Are you a fairly active member in the lifestyle there in London?

I am but it’s all on my own terms. As I say I don’t really go out much – everything comes to me. I’m not a sort of clubby type person anyway, I go to bed fairly early, so it usually happens on a Saturday afternoon in my studio. We get loads of people and do one of those big shoots and then we hire a big room in a local bar and it’s a riot. It’s a really good time. I don’t know if it comes across in the pictures. Sometimes I wonder how it happens really, maybe these things just happen by themselves.

It looks like the models and friends that you use in the photos despite all of the planning even just seem to sort of all work together really well and generate that good energy to make such a good photo.

I put a huge amount of effort into the actual planning of the pictures and the ideas, absolutely. But the rest of it sort of happens organically, its worth saying it’s all voluntary. People do it just for the fun of it. So if I do a book it would be for charity. One of the great things about using an iPad, which is what I use the most now is that the screen’s really big and it actually helps you see the shots better, almost better than looking through a lens anyway and then you can pass that around the whole group and they look at themselves and think well they can do it this way or that and we kind of improve as we go along and make it something we really love. Its kind of fun because everybody’s involved and they all seem to be so good at acting it always amazes me because you know they’re sort of ordinary people, they’re not models they’re not actors they look so amazing in the pictures.

Photo by Troupe of Slaves
Photo by Troupe of Slaves

Did you come up with the name, Troupe of Slaves?

Yea, that was actually before I started doing the pictures. I was going to have this scene with some subs and I said lets string them up like a troupe of slaves. It just came off the top of my head and then I really liked the name and it just sort of stuck. It fits perfectly really, I don’t really try to Dom people its not what I do but I do insist that they’re slaves to the picture not to me. I’m very disciplinarian about that. The pictures are everything.

That’s wonderful

And they like being slaves to that, they can totally buy into that. I consider myself a slave to the pictures.

Well I think everyone there seems to be in service to creating a really good image.

We’re all in service to the pictures. The pictures are the master not me. (laughs)

You’re just a puppet. (laughs)

For every good photo there’re hundreds of deleted bad photos. It’s tricky.

Tagged With: interview, photography

anniebear Interviews Submissann

January 18, 2016 By anniebear 1 Comment

human pony

anniebear: It looks like you have your hands in a bunch of different groups and projects. You’re obviously very active within the community, specifically with the pony and critter play. And you also have written a few books on the subject as well. Could you elaborate on what the main focus of your time is right now?

Submissann: Well, everyone has to make a living, so when I’m not doing that – my hobby is pony play. I really really enjoy it. Since my living is being a professional submissive, I sort of look at that as this book called The Marketplace. There’re several books actually by Laura Antoniou on The Marketplace.

Yes I’m familiar!

The characters get two year contracts and they get money for that, put it in the bank and their contracts have limits. It’s all written up. So, I look at being a professional submissive as a short term market place slave where my contracts are one hour, two hours, sometimes I get four days or a week but very short term compared to two years. Then there’s compensation for that, compensation for my time. I am very fortunate in that every day of my life I get to do certain or different aspects of BDSM because I have different partners that I play with, different partners that buy my time, that give me these short term contracts. Each of them has different interests. One may like electrical or enema play or wax or foot worship. Whatever it is, it’s like I get a wide variety of BDSM play in my life because I have so many wonderful partners that I play with just as my job.

That’s great!

Yea it is. So then if you’re going to have a hobby, it’s probably going to be something a little bit different. I found that just personally, I really really enjoy pony play. I enjoy training ponies and I enjoy being a pony. I first approached pony play from the side of being a pony.

Could you briefly talk about pony play as a kink?

Pony play is any time someone emulates a horse. So, a lot of people of all ages do this just for fun. And that’s really the whole essence of it. It can be anything and it’s what I enjoy about it. It’s when you’re pretending to be a horse, just like when you’re a child playing, it’s a very care free space. You’re not worried about your bills, you’re not worried about your relationships, you’re just playing and having a good time. And in a sense, play refreshes and revives your spirit. It feeds it, makes a special part of you alive. That needs to be fed too. I mean yes, as an adult you need to be responsible but if you don’t play, if you don’t allot some time –I mean you’re supposed to eat and work and exercise but you need play too.

Do you feel in this aspect of play that you can reach subspace* as well as regular more mainstream BDSM play?

Absolutely. There’re different ways that people do pony play. And there isn’t any right or wrong, there’re just different ways that people do it. So Ann Rice has a book on The Training of Beauty and the pony play that she describes in that is more of a slave being forced to be a horse. And they don’t go into what we call pony headspace. But they may fall into subspace, just like a when submissive so into serving they may get a head rush from serving and the adrenaline and the type of play that you may engage in when you’re being forced to be a horse could be such-like you could be whipped or tied down as a forced pony play. That’s just one. Being a slave forced to be a horse, just like a slave collared to a Master, there’s still a power exchange, it still can be a loving and wonderful relationship. So, it can fall into that. But then there’s also people that they have what you might call an inner pony that seems to come out, there seems to be this space we call it pony headspace, and its like almost a dream state. Like being awake and dreaming at the same time. And you have this horse personality. You have this pony personality that comes out while you do that. So that is a different way of playing. And I know people that when they do their pony play and they pretend to be a horse and then they fall into this pony headspace and they seem to fall so hard that they actually don’t remember when they come out of it.

You have to be really careful with them, you have to guide them slowly. The handler has to be very mindful of the pony. I’ve talked to them and what its like for them they very much when they’re a pony, they react like a horse, they have behaviors that are very horse like. They don’t speak, they move like a horse, they neigh like a horse, all the sounds of a horse. When they’re a horse they’re a horse!

ann as pony

I imagine it’s a pretty interesting experience to watch as a spectator.

Yes, absolutely, it’s just amazing. For people that go really hard into that headspace, some of them don’t even remember. When I’m Beauty, that’s my pony name I was given by my trainer Rebecca Wilcox and Rebecca wrote the book The Human Pony. She wrote it while she was training me, I was her pony and I’m in the book. (laughs) I also wrote my own book Pony Play with Submissann. And when I go into pony headspace I do remember bits and pieces of it, I don’t think I remember all of it but I do have a recollection of it. It’s almost like remembering a dream for me. It has an altered quality to it and in fact I went to Burning Man to participate in The Pony Express. And we would get up at five am and I would make breakfast and coffee for my friend, who when she becomes a pony her name is Tindala, and Tindala and I would then transform into our pony selves and we’d get all fixed up and there would be mailboxes around Burning Man that people dropped notes into and then they were collected at the end of the day and sorted out and we would get it and the person that was driving the cart would have the letters and we would deliver them to the people. So I would go off and spend my morning in Burning Man as Beauty and I would remember going to the different camps and communities.

Beauty had a place, I never found it as a human, for Beauty there was “bacon and socks”. There was a huge bowl of socks (I guess what I can determine about that I think that the camp bartered socks). People go there and don’t bring enough socks-people don’t bring money, they barter there, so, there was a huge bowl of socks to exchange. And every morning they would have a great big fry pan of bacon and evidently Beauty just loved bacon. The world stopped for bacon for Beauty. So there would be different places I would go as a pony and then I would come back and I would rest as me, as Ann. Then for the rest of the day I would experience Burning Man. Sometimes I would try and figure out where I had been. Like I said, it was like following a dream because how Beauty sees things and I how I see things is a little different.

That is extremely fascinating. It’s like a dual personality going on.

That’s the closest scientifically that I’ve ever compared the two. Because I tried to figure out where I had been and even investigating-I can tell you the things that I do as Beauty but its like recalling a dream.

Some people do it just because its fun and they like the wardrobe. There are different aspects. Pony play is like this huge umbrella-that’s the other thing I like about it, it includes bondage. The gear and tack you wear because horses – their gear and tack is to control them and communicate with them. There is a lot of people that go to pony play and they do it just for the bondage. They do it just in their own room, they get on all of this gear and tack because they like the way that it is heavy bindings and even putting on horse heads that encompass your whole head in leather, that’s quite heady and sends you off in a different space. There’re many things that can happen in pony play and for other people they like to actually do the games that horses do, you can also do veterinary play you can get a vet check.

That’s pretty funny, how cool.

You can also instead of being a leather pony, you can be a rubber pony, there are people that really like latex, the constrictiveness-like when you put on the catsuits and corsets, it’s like being in a pressurized suit, there is compression. I really love pony play because it made me a much better submissive. Instead of having a conversation, you know someone gives you a command and then you have a conversation about it and then maybe you do it maybe you don’t. When you’re a pony you get a command, you can’t talk and you get rewarded for just obeying, especially when you’re doing something like dressage which is like pony ballet. You (as a Pony) are given those commands and you have to interpret them really fast and do them really fast. So, that’s skill, that getting a command and just doing it – fast, without hesitation.

I remember one time dong a session where the person I was playing with had a stun gun. Usually, it’s used to intimidate you but he had it on and said, “I want you to take this and just stun yourself,” and I just took it and zapped it on my thigh and jumped four feet (laughs) afterwards he was like “listen, that was amazing” and he says “why didn’t you hit your butt?” and I said “well, I was sitting down so the biggest muscle I had was my thigh.” And I just did it, without hesitation without thinking. A command and then, you just do it. There’s a certain headiness in playing that way.

What type of groups and events are there for people that might be interested in this?

There might be local groups- in 2009 I started the Los Angeles Pony and Critter Club because I wanted to have other ponies to play with and the nice thing about having a group is that you can do Fox Hunts and Derby’s and you can do things that take not only more than one or two people but a group of people in order to do them; so, people might find in their area a pony or critter group or some kind of animal role play group. There are also dedicated pony play events. I produce the Equus International Pony Play Event. That’s a full weekend of Cart games and English games and western games. It’s just like if you go to a western day with equine horses where you have barrel racing and pole bending, we have all of those games that we do and we judge and get ribbons and its just like that. You can find social groups to play with. Down in the south there’re now Ponies on the Delta. In February, in Las Vegas there’s a Dog and Pony Show as part of the event – Sin in the City. Thunder in the Mountains in Colorado – they have a great big track in the dungeon to do your pony stuff on. Camp Crucible out east, they have a Pony track, classes, different games, a Pony Show, it’s a ten day camping event.

I was actually looking into Camp Crucible too. Are you planning on going?

Not only am I planning on going to Camp Crucible in May, it’s over the Memorial Day weekend time, I’m actually going to be teaching a class. They have classes on pony play, they have activities to do with the ponies, they have a pony show. Last year, we did their first fox hunt. They have other things to offer, it is a giant event, like a Tea and cocktail parties centered around focus groups, a Rope track, venders….

It looks like a well rounded event.

It is. It’s so much fun and I highly recommend the clit washer.

The what?!

The clit washer. You can Google the clit washer and the guy that has made it-its this great big device on this little trailer and he comes through the camp and you must experience the clit washer. It’s not a complete experience of Camp Crucible without it.

Thanks for the recommendation!

You’re very welcome. Take your friend with you because you may be a little wobbly. It’s hard walking afterwards. They do have a lounge.

The Los Angeles Pony and Critter Club, we have a very active group with not only myself planning events-we have two Fox Hunts, Cart & Sled Trot & Romps, and a Derby Day; we also have a lot of puppies and Pepper Pup organized an event for them. We just had a Puppy Palooza. It was a puppy and critter event. “Every dog has their day.” Up in San Francisco there’s Stampede and in Atlanta there’s a pony group, ARC. In Florida, there’s a lot of pony play and they have a great event there as part of Beyond Leather. It’s called International Pony Play Championships.

Dressage

How cool is that? Well it sounds like you maybe prefer the pony play over the submission would you say or the pro-subbing?

Well it’s like with anyone and their hobby. If your hobby is running your electrical trains, you do your job and then you run home and do your hobby. Now, I love my job. I learn so much from it, I learn from the people I play with, it is really really rewarding. I’ve even had people that I am the guide for them to go from having a vanilla life because they know that they can call someone and buy a submissive or buy someone to do their BDSM play with, but then if they really like it and their life is accepting for more (for some people only do that – buying a safe partner-it is as far as they go because of the job they have or they’re in a relationship), if you’re someone who in you’re life you can do more – I’m always open. I tell people what the local clubs are that they can go to, that they can go to take classes. I can be a bridge for people and its very rewarding to see people that eight years ago they were my client and now there they are with their submissive and they’re in the community and they’re experiencing more of BDSM fully.

sub ann red dress

That could be extremely rewarding to see I’m sure.

Yes, it is, it’s very rewarding, and for me, I think that if you are a bridge and you go to your job as a positive thing and try to leave the person you see in a better space not matter what that is, it just makes it better. I love my job. If I could just remember all of my shoes when I leave. I’m terrible! (laughs) I get a little spacey afterwards so it’s really hard to clean up everything. Sometimes I have to go back and get my shoes. I have submissive shoes-I guess as Dorothy had her ruby red slippers, I have submissive shoes.

Well I guess if the shoes are the only thing you leave behind you’re not doing too bad!

Yea I think so!

Going briefly back to the pony play, are there any safety hazards or dangers that people should be aware of before engaging in pony play?

Well there are things that could happen. I think that your activity can be limited depending upon your physical abilities. There are certain, you know science and laws of physics things-if you’re pulling a cart and you’re running really hard you shouldn’t try and stop on a dime because the weight of the cart can push you down on your knees. Its important that you play with and learn from people that have this knowledge so that they can take care of you.

It sounds like it’s like with any BDSM activity, it is best to learn from someone who has some experience rather than just trying to go for it. Studying up on it a bit.

Absolutely. I mean when I was beginning out, I would go to a club and I would sit and I would watch people playing with other people and I would watch how they interacted and how they played and not just whether they flogged really well but also how they interacted afterwards. Did they just walk away or did they take care of them, make sure that they had water. Its sort of like if you go out to eat with someone you’re dating, one of my rules about dating is if I go out to eat and the person I’m with treats the waitress really nice and leaves her a tip, is gracious and respectful, this is a good find, as opposed to a person who dogs the waitress, is disrespectful turns the salt shaker upside down, you know! It’s the same!

When you’re beginning as a submissive and you’re looking for a play partner you want someone who not only has skill experience but has people experience. The same with pony play. I sought it out. At the time, 2005/6, I learned Stampede was the only group I could find people that did this. And I went to their munch and that was where I met Rebecca. I talked with her and she said that she would meet with me and train me as her pony. And just like dating, when you’re meeting a new person (just like regular life), it’s the same thing. When you’re learning something new, you don’t sell everything you have and move to Antarctica. You should take things slow, step by step because that’s the natural progression of things. When I look at life I think it is a natural progression of life to “Be, Do, Have”. You be a pony and do the things that ponies do and then you get all of the equipment. You gather things rather than going and buying all of this stuff and then doing it and then being a pony. It’s the opposite way. Got it?

That makes total sense. I think people go in full bore with all their stuff and they don’t necessarily know how to use it.

Right. I think the more natural progression-you can be a pony, you don’t have to have all of this real expensive exotic stuff. The other thing that’s dangerous-the bits, you can use a regular horse bit. There’s something called Sealtex- it’s a latex bandage and you actually get it at the tack store because even bio horses, they wrap those metal bits in this sort of spongy bandage latex stuff and the horse can chomp on it and not break their teeth. Horses actually have a space in their teeth it falls into, we don’t have those as humans. You need to be careful of your teeth if you’re going to put a bit in there.

You can actually make everything out of rope. I’ve been with my granddaughter; it was her idea, it wasn’t my idea. My granddaughter and came to me one day and said “Grandma be my pony” and she had her rope and put it in my mouth and she got on back of me and wanted me to be her pony.

I’m assuming she was a child that was play acting?

Yes, a wonderful child (laughs) but that’s a very natural thing, it’s a very child like thing to do, it’s a natural play activity. And so, I pretended to be her pony and when I was tired she called her brother. She said “You can be my pony now.” She has all the makings of being a terrific trainer.

And from the other side if what you enjoy is training animals, animal role play can be very very rewarding in all the aspects of it: in grooming your pet, in taking care of your pet in training your pet, and just all of the fashion. I love equestrian fashion. It does everything for me. There’re many levels to it

So you mentioned you first got into pony play by going to that munch. Is that the very first thing you ever did in the lifestyle or were you a submissive before that?

I was a submissive before that. I came into BDSM because like most people, you are drawn to BDSM. There’s something that you like. Nobody told you it was kinky, it was just something that you like. When I was a kid we had lots of TV programs. I loved Superman because you have the beta man, Jimmy Olsen, and Louis Lane that always got tied up and then Superman rescued them. Or we had Dale Evans who got tied up on the Roy Rogers show or Penny on Sky King got tied up. So, we had as a child and as a TV program watcher, this sort of role model and we would go out and play and recreate that. And I found as a child that not only did I like the person who would capture me and tie me up and tease me, I liked that person just as much as I liked the person who rescued me. And nobody told you as a child that that’s kinky -you just know that you like it. When I got older in order to keep my relationships exciting for me, I would call up my boyfriend and I would say “I’m at this bar and I’m going to be here, maybe these guys will try and pick up on me and you have to come in here and pretend that you don’t know me and you have to win me over just like anyone else here.”

So, I would set up this role play and it was like setting up a situation where instead of being with someone with the same old same old, I was setting up a role play where they had to figure out how to slay the dragon and win the princess and it made it fun and then you went home and you would have hot sex like the first time. These things-nobody told me this was kinky. These were just things that I liked. And so there came a time in my life, it was after I was divorced that I met someone who wanted to explore more of this and I never saw any magazines. I never saw any videos. I didn’t understand it all – what they wanted – but I decided to trust him and just do it. So, it was just this one on one thing and it was great.

There was that person that I learned to play with and then we broke up and I was heart broken. Not so much about leaving and not being with him because that relationship-we didn’t quite mesh very well. I was heart broken that I thought they were the only one in the world that I ever thought I was going to be able to do that stuff with. I’d never find someone else like that and I’d have to go back to having regular sex with no handcuffs and without that play.

That’s like a death sentence.

Yea, it was like a death sentence, I cried and cried. You know, thank god, I was a single mom and I had to buck up and raise my kids and go on. Two years later I was on a date and the person took me to a Goth club in LA. In the late 90’s you could go to a Goth club and they would have a flog, paddle and tickle parlor where someone would come in and they would –oh my gosh I remember the first time I was there. The Red Sea divided and this handsome man with flowing red hair came waltzing through with his Bag of Bad and went up to the stage and flung open the curtain and there was a St. Andrews cross. I didn’t know the name of it then but that’s what it was. And there was a line and the women that went up there and they got spanked and they were flogged. And that was how I found the community. In Los Angeles there is a club called Bar Sinister and on Saturdays you can go there, the play is up in the loft. For a lot of people that is their entrance to BDSM. Maybe that’s as far as they want to go. Other people can go from that and the people there will tell them there’re private clubs like Sanctuary and Lair de Sade and the Bordello of Decadence. So you can pursue it more and you can find even more serious players. We have a great event in April now called Leather Heat that slave Bren produces. It has the who’s who of leather presenters presenting. All kinds of BDSM and kink and you can register and take classes and then they have dungeon time in the evening. I’m doing a class on pony play. There’s lots that you can do. That was how I found the community. And it was by chance.

All of that sounds really wonderful and I know it’s probably been quite a journey for you with all of your experiences.

Yes, how I got into pony play was Ken Marcus, a fantastic world renowned photographer. He had a whole history of doing photography of pony play and of pony girls and he hadn’t done it for a while and he gave me an assignment and he said he wanted to shoot it again and I had to put together my outfit. I would have this great photo shoot and I’d get to be photographed by Ken Marcus and get to be a pony girl, how different would that be. And so it was, actually-it took like six months. I had to go trying to figure out on the internet and there was this magazine called Equus Eroticus and I contacted the producer of that, Paul Reed, and that was how I was able to get some of the tack and there was this whole learning process of just putting together the outfit. And in doing that research and finding out what a pony girl needed, what tack and things I needed to have to look like a pony girl it became very apparent that being a pony girl wasn’t just a model wearing stuff, that there was more dimension to it, that there was something very –something that called to me that spoke to me and that’s what lead me to driving the miles from LA to
San Francisco to Stampede. That was what started my journey. So we can point to Ken Marcus and Paul Reed and we can blame them. They’re responsible. (laughs)

We can thank them! Send out a big thank you!

Isn’t it great when you’re wandering through life and you have people that make this incredible difference to you and change your life.

Yes, it’s awesome and the community is really really great and we’re really lucky to be in LA where it’s big and strong here.

It’s true. We are. There are still people out in the boondocks that are ponies. You know what’s nice about being in nowhere in Nebraska is that people drive 200 miles to go to the one bar and everybody is at that bar. The trainers, the puppies, the ponies, the leather people, the kink people, the rubber people, they all get along and they’re all there. And sometimes its so nice when you’re travelling and you go to a place like that because in LA we have so many people that we’ve all divided up.

Yes its very fragmented

Yes, you go one place for your rubber and another place for your leather and another for just kink, you know. So we’re very blessed, we have a lot of activity here. A lot of things stewing. I don’t think there’s hardly any night that you couldn’t go find something.

Submissann is a professional submissive based in Los Angeles. You can find out more information and contact her here. Her book Pony Play with subMissAnn is available here.

Tagged With: human pony, interview, Journey, newbies, pony play, submission

Dexx Interviews Rev Mel

December 14, 2015 By Desdemona 1 Comment

rev mel full

You’re known as the creator of TSR Network, which I believe stands for “Talking Sex Radio Network.” You’ve interviewed a lot of high profile people in the BDSM community. But today, you’re the one that’s getting interviewed. So you’ve been out of the state for a while. You were taking a break from some of the work that you’ve been doing with the insight series (a class taught at Los Angeles dungeon Lair de Sade)?

Thank you for interviewing me and yes I have interviewed some amazing people in BDSM like Jay Wiseman, Midori and Guy Baldwin. TSRnetwork was the first BDSM site on the net to focus on BDSM and education using radio and video as an education tool. We were before Fetlife and many other sites that are now out there.

Yes, I’m taking sometime off and will be traveling around the country. Have been visiting family and some wonderful friends that are into BDSM. Just taking time off of streaming live shows at the moment and just travel to all the places that I dreamed of going. Been teaching and producing live TV shows for such a long time that I need to take some time for myself.

Right, and how long have you been doing TSR Network for and what lead you to create that?

I’ve been broadcasting roughly over twelve years. I started doing a radio show called the Mel and Phil Show. It was at a time that was complicated to create. You had to record it, edit it, upload it, make an RSS feed and get it out there. It was very difficult to do and time consuming. These days it’s a little bit more simple.

Back then it was called Talking Sex Radio but I moved over to streaming live video and not doing a radio show so we the name to TSRnetwork,com. It was really important to get the message out about our live TV shows on TSR Network .

TSR was safe place for people to go and get information about BDSM because there’s a lot of misinformation out there. I believe in safe, sane, and consensual. In order to stay safe in BDSM you have to be educated. TSR is all about education and without education we would have nothing it would be chaos.

TSRNetwork is site that broadcast live talk shows that talks about education and safety and introduces you to some of the movers and shakers of the BDSM community mixed with a little humor. It’s a very interactive site with a chat-room and a blog with guest writers and such.

You mentioned that a large part of it is motivated by wanting to help educate people. I suppose there are probably quite a lot of people out there who do BDSM or other kinky things in private at home with a partner and never really feel like they need to come and attend classes or other social activities within the BDSM community. Do you think that’s OK or do you think those people should be looking to educate themselves a bit more?

I think that everyone that is interested in BDSM should educate themselves and I think there are many different avenues to do that. There’s so much information online. When I first started out quite some years ago you didn’t have all of the websites and all of the information that is out there now. In the past we had to form communities to meet in person and have a good knowledge base of this lifestyle.

Now with sites like FetLife, Collarspace and my site TSRnetwork.com as we were some of the first sites that a newbies first experience into BDSM and Kink. Basically TSRnetwork was the very first BDSM site dedicated to do live BDSM video TV shows to educate people about BDSM. TSR was a good start if you can not publicly go out into the real world and take classes or learn. I think it’s OK to get your education from the internet in the beginning. Everyone has to do what they feel is right for themselves. There’s no right or wrong in any of this. The only right thing to do is to educate yourself the best possible way for you.

Right , you said some people can’t attend public classes and are you meaning because they are not near to places where they have them or are you talking perhaps more about people who might feel that for whatever reason they cant be seen in public to attending that kind of class?

Well, I feel the reason that some people can’t attend a public class is because some are teachers, doctors or professionals. Some people have children and have to be careful that if they should get discovered then it could hurt them in someway or it could hurt their business. The reality is that BDSM it could hurt them with their employer if found out that they were into BDSM. So many of us can’t live this lifestyle in the open and so that’s one of the reasons why I created TSR Network. Another good reason is that there are some people that do not have munches or dungeons in their city and no BDSM community. In Los Angeles we are very fortunate to have so many different dungeons and places to go. We have munches every single day of the week. But, if you’re in a small peaceful little town and you don’t have a munch to go to or be around other like minded people that are into BDSM. Where are you going to find information on BDSM or Kink?

You’re going to have to search on the internet, order books, start relationships online. FetLife to me is an information site. Its not a dating site to me. It’s where you can get any sort of information that you could possibly want to know. And it’s very valuable as a community to make sure that there’s good information out there. Not only for the big cities but for the small cities that have limited access. It’s those precious people that I broadcast live TV shows for.

I had a young man who lived in Tennessee who watched every single one of my shows. He was never to a munch or dungeon. He was paraplegic and two years ago he died. It broke my heart because he was such a fan of the TSR Network and all of the shows that we were broadcasting live. We broadcast seven live shows a week at our old studio and he never missed a show. It’s people like him that I did this educational informative shows for. Myself and the other hosts truly believe that we are changing the world one vanilla at a time as education comes first.

Wow, that’s impressive.

We were his world in BDSM as he was a huge part of us and the other hosts. That’s why we did it because there are so many people that want to be involved and they cant because of their own private reasons. We have to respect that. A lot of people that go to dungeons and say we’re better than everyone else and we’re attending classes and we’re involved in a live community. I say don’t discredit people that are online. Everyone has to start somewhere. There are a lot of the people who still don’t go to dungeons or munches, but they will go off to a convention and will be able to experience things that they’ve never experienced before. There is nothing like going to a dungeon at a convention or looking at toys that you’ve only seen on a website. It’s pretty remarkable. We are a pretty remarkable community that welcomes all that think out of the box.

Do you think that it’s becoming more acceptable over time for people to be public about BDSM activities?

I think that BDSM is changing. But I think its been evolving, its evolving from the gay leather men who put a lot of our foundation down. Each time there’s a movie that comes out, it evolves a little bit more. We had The Story of O, 9 ½ Weeks, the Secretary and now Fifty Shades of Grey. So every time there’s a movie that’s out or a book, it really doesn’t change who we are but I think it changes the perspective of the outside world to us. We’re still taboo and a majority of the women that have read Fifty Shades of Gray really don’t want to know about the real lifestyle of BDSM. I have approached a few of them and say look I teach classes why don’t you come to one of my classes? They get fear in their eyes and say “Oh no, that’s weird I cant do that.” They read the books but they don’t want to make the effort to experience what its truly like. So I don’t think it has changed us as we are still taboo, we are still private and we still protect our citizens in our community. We have to. And I don’t know in my lifetime if I’m going to see mainstream really accept all of this. We’re paving the way definitely just like the gay leather men. We’re more open, we’re more out there as fashion has dictated to us on what we should and should not wear. But as far ever being acceptable it could happen but we still have to make sure it’s all consensual or else we would have chaos. What we do on the outside world matters and how act and how we show respect. Until the rest of the world catches up to us we still have to live in the vanilla world and at time hide who we are. One can only hope that that will change and if it does not it will not affect us at this moment.

You run the Insight classes at the Lair de Sade? For some people this class would be the first contact that they have with the BDSM community. So do you feel some responsibility to help guide them into the community in a positive way?

I’ve taught the Insight class at the Lair de Sade for over twelve years. I want to teach them about safety, respect, and honor, that this is not a free for all, that there is responsibility that we take when we enter into this lifestyle. There’s so much responsibility. At the Lair de Sade, my class is called S&M Open Forum. I’ve probably taught around 8,000+ people over the years and teaching that class has taught me so much about compassion and love and caring. It’s taught me more than what I’ve taught some of the students.

Could you tell me more about BDSM Pride day? I saw that mentioned on one of your websites.

It’s a day to celebrate BDSM and Kink and to show support to each other in our life choice. We did a live seven hour BDSM pride day marathon broadcast twice. We had thousands of people watching it live as we did the TSR Peoples Choice Awards and celebrated BDSM Pride Day. The BDSM community across the world voted for who would receive an award and had thousands of people submit their favorite people for an award. Over the years TSR Network has had over four million people watch our live shows and come into the chat-room and interact with our guests. Millions have watched the archives that are located on the archive page. When we re-launched TSR after taking a short leave we had over 250,000 watched the live shows over the last year. We as a community have to take pride in who we are and support each other and help to bring a better view of BDSM. Yes we’re taboo and we’re in hiding but there’s no reason why we can’t celebrate who we are. BDSM Pride Day belongs to the community and we hope that in the future that people will start having live dungeon parties to celebrate it and be proud of our lifestyle.

It sounds like you’ve traveled quite extensively around the country teaching, so you must have seen a whole variety of different local scenes and dungeons and clubs around the country. Are there any that are particularly memorable? Are there differences between the scene in different cities that you’ve noticed?

I think we’re all basically the same because we all have one thing in common and that’s BDSM. The community, we have in Los Angeles is an awesome community, its so unique. We are lucky to have so many dungeons and munches and to be so open. But with that also comes a tremendous amount of drama and egos. I’ve found that even in smaller communities have some of the same problems as what we do in LA. And I would love to be able to find some way to eliminate the ego part of who we are in the community but like all communities you will have this problem. Just because I’m a Dominant, Host of my own show creator, founder of TSRnetwork and an educator it does not make me any better than a submissive or a slave or a new person that has entered into this lifestyle. We are all equal in my book. Having a big ego doesn’t do anything for me and I value each kinky person that comes in my life. I live my life with kindness and compassion but carry a heavy flogger, (laughs) always have to have a sense of humor.

Getting back to the question-I specifically really enjoyed the Detroit community. They have an awesome community. I was at Kinkdom a couple years ago and loved the dungeon and people that I met. I was just in Detroit and the local BDSM community reached out to me and were very kind and they went out of their way to take me to a munch and it was a wonderful experience. Phoenix, Arizona has an awesome community too and so does San Francisco. We have good parts of community and bad parts. It doesn’t matter what city you’re in its all pretty much the same as we get to enjoy our kink and our like minded old and new friends. I am grateful for all the people I have meet on my path of BDSM and the respect they have given me. We have some amazing wonderful people in BDSM and Kink.

Are there any states where you think it’s more difficult to be in the BDSM scene because of local culture or government regulations?

Well, here in Los Angles we’re pretty much free to do what we want to do but in small little towns, the local government looks down at anyone who thinks out of the box. I’m not fearful here of anyone coming down on our community, I’m more fearful of smaller towns, because I’ve seen some judgment from communities that look down on people in BDSM. I don’t think we’re going to have problems with the government as the government has bigger problems then who is getting spanked behind closed doors. Are we on their radar? Sometimes we might be on their radar. Especially when they’re gong after human trafficking the government will check out BDSM dating sites and see what we mean by what we call slaves. They’ll go into some of the websites and have conversations with certain people and some people will fall for it and it really had nothing to do with our lifestyle. You’ve just got to be smart and remember it’s all consensual.

It seems in LA in particular, many of the local community leaders are doing a pretty good job of outreach to local government and police agencies to help educate them on what it is we do so they don’t assume the worst. Do you agree that its generally been well done in LA and do you see that elsewhere?

Well in LA , the community reaches out to the local law enforcement and they’re also reaching out to doctors and therapists. Because when someone comes in with bruises all over their body, the first thing they do at the hospital is report it as abuse. What we do is not abuse. We never lift our hand when we’re angry. We never do anything out of abuse, everything is consensual. That’s if you’re healthy and you’re not a predator. We have predators both the vanilla and in BDSM world. Predators come to our community because there are so many that are looking for something outside of themselves and they try to find it inside of someone else. BDSM is not going to fix you if there’s something wrong with you. When you come into BDSM, into this lifestyle, you need to come in healthy, you need to realize you have a voice and no means NO. Always keep your voice. You need to protect yourself, keep things private until you get to know someone. My advice to new people when they’re getting into the community-take a year, don’t do play dates. Get to know us, let us get to know you. Feel us out. Ask us questions, find a mentor. Find a mentor that is there for mentoring the best way with you, not because they want to add you to their family or get something of you. Think before you do anything and educate yourself and don’t let anyone take your voice away. Be aware and take care of yourself first.

What’s the best way to find a mentor?

The best way is to get involved in the local community, to ask a lot a questions, to ask other people-would this person be a good mentor and not just the friends of this person because there any different points of views. A lot of us are well known people, it doesn’t make us good mentors. Some if us are even predators. Just because we’re well known does not really tell the whole picture of who we are. Its pretty amazing, we do a lot of protection of well known predators because they are celebrities in our community, they’re very protected by their fans and they cause a tremendous amount of chaos. When you have been in the lifestyle as long as I have been you know where all the bodies have been buried. It’s like any community, even a vanilla community. But most people are not willing to call out the predators because if they do they will be attacked and that’s really shameful. Every year someone writes a post and we talk about it but its really hard to get our community to participate in actively weeding out the predators. If someone comes to me and ask me about someone I will tell them the truth and some won’t listen so they have to make their own mistakes. That’s just how life is some have to learn the hard way and that’s OK in my books as you have to learn valuable lessons on this life journey. I have made many mistakes in my life and I own it and it’s the mistakes that have taught me the hardest lessons.

Changing topic a little bit, so you’re an ordained minister? Could you tell me more about that?

Yes, and I started the Church of Perversion and Debauchery which is now known as The Sacred Realm. I perform marriages and I perform collaring ceremonies and I also counsel and meet with people, especially if they have any problems in their relationships or understanding why they’re into this lifestyle.

I joke around that if you believe in God or whatever people believe in-if you believe in some sort of higher power that having sex is not bad for us. I don’t think religion should look down on us for what we do. We’re given certain things like compassion, love, and chemistry and sensual feelings for a reason. It’s to teach us and educate us on how to be human and how to love.

Many come to me and I’m there to listen and to help as but as I can. I never judge anyone and try to be there out of love and respect.

I know that there are a lot of kinky people that are also a part of mainstream religion like Christianity and I know that sometimes they feel a little bit torn about that but do you think that BDSM can be compatible with Christianity? In terms of the values and teachings do you think somebody can legitimately be into both?

I don’t think that religion should have any bearing on BDSM. Being sexual is a part of the human factor of who we are. If God or what ever you believe religion to be did not make spanking or the sexual act so exciting then why was it created. Being religious has nothing to do with BDSM as religion is just a small part of who we are. Take a submissive for instances, something happens to submissives when they go into headspace. It’s a part of who we are.

BDSM, sadistic and masochist have been since the beginning of time, its nothing new. We just put a name on it. Pleasure is something that we need as humans and in BDSM we just connect to a different kind of pleasure. Where does one go in sub or Dom space, its a special place for many of us like leaving the body and being God. They go into this utopia, this euphoria, this other place. It’s a lot like meditating or praying. It doesn’t matter how you get to that place its about how your feeling when you get there. If you get it by submitting to somebody and submitting with them and having their love. I don’t think that religion should tell us not to enjoy what we do in BDSM because it teaches us the same foundation; love, honor, respect, and compassion.

If we are a Christian, Jew or any other type of religion belief is not only who you are. If you’re a parent that’s not all you are. If you’re an educator that’s not all you are. BDSM is just a part of the whole pie of who we are. We are more than just one thing as we take this role in BDSM. I’m a woman, teacher, mother and so much more as religion is just a part of me and we all need not to be on the same page as someone else as I’m only responsible for my actions in life. But there is no need to live in a life of shame because I’m into spanking a few bottoms of a willing soul.

Do you have any advice for somebody who’s new to kink that perhaps wants to get more involved, where’s a good place to start?

If you’re new into BDSM go on the internet, start educating yourself, start reading as much as you can. Go to your local munches. Go to conventions. Develop friendships. Talk to people about what other munches to go to. If you can go to a class, take a class. Take a class that can build that foundation first, like an open form S&M 101 class where you can learn about negotiations and etiquette, where you can learn that honesty and integrity has so much to do with BDSM then just spanking someone or flogging them. Ask a lot of questions and keep asking as education comes first. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about being in BDSM. Please remember there is not a street in the United States where someone is being tied to a bed blindfolded or spanked. We’re really not that much different than the vanilla world. Most of all take your time and keep your eyes open and if it does not feel right then it’s not right. Go with your gut feeling as it will keep you safe and get to know your new friends and make sure they are who they say they are. Take care of yourself first and forgive yourself when you make mistakes as we all have made lots of mistakes.

And last but not least, how did you get into BDSM?

I met a young man on AOL and he brought me into the lifestyle and into a chat room and I got to meet a whole bunch of people in this lifestyle in this chat room. I started off as a submissive and I was very very bad at it. I wasn’t well suited for it. I had a very wise Dom who I dated, and I asked him “how come you never played with me?” He said, “You’re not a submissive.” I said, “Well am I a slave.” He says, “No.” And I go, “Well what am I?” He says, “You’re a princess.” (Laughs) I’m thinking princesses? There are no princesses in BDSM! I’ve come to find out that there are. But he said I should try my hand at being dominant. And he was right.

You know Dominant doesn’t mean that you’re always dominant 24 hours a day. You’ve got to find that gentle part of who you are. I’m a kind person, but I’m very sadistic also. And I like tears as it’s kind of a turn on for me.

BDSM has changed me and it has made me a better person. And if it can make me a better person, imagine what it can do to the rest of the people who are just entering into BDSM.

It’s an amazing journey. It will take the layers off of who you think you are and it will create a different reality. I was a willing victim when I came into this lifestyle. I’m no longer a victim. I have grown into a strong woman that has learned to use her voice and I have found so much joy in education new people that walk into this exciting world of BDSM. You never know what life will being when you show up and thank out of the box, I have not regrets in life and very happy about where I’m at in my thoughts about BDSM. I have found me on this amazing journey of self discovery. BDSM has brought me so much joy and some of the hardest lessons that one can learned as it has taught me to stay in the moment of life and think about the past or where my future will take me. I would not be the kind or compassionate woman that I am today if it was not for BDSM and the amazing people I have met along the way. It has taught me to be real and to push ego aside and feel again. I walk in peace, love, joy and BDSM. I’m so very grateful…..

Tagged With: dominant, dominatrix, Journey, Los Angeles, newbies

Dexx Interviews Master Gabriel

November 9, 2015 By Desdemona 1 Comment

master gabriel

Dexx: You’re the creator of the Gentleman In Charge event, you teach the BDSM 201 class series, and you create leather products under the Ravynblood Leather brand. For many you’re also known as the voice of DomCon in LA and Atlanta. So, I guess if you go back a little ways, how did you first find yourself coming into the BDSM community?

Master Gabriel: Well, actually I first stepped foot into the Sanctuary in Reseda. A friend of mine at the time had seen some of the leatherwork that I’d done. We thought perhaps we could get something going and he suggested possibly going to talk to Mistress Cyan and see what she thought of the leather goods and see if it might be a worthwhile venture to try out. So that was my first step in and that was some many years ago, probably a good eight to ten years ago. Of course before then I was playing behind closed doors and didn’t even know there was an actual community at that point in time. So that was my first introduction into the actual community of BDSM.

So you have a degree in psychology I believe?

I do.

And do you think that that has helped you in terms of understanding the roles in BDSM and finding your own role that you like and educating others in terms of the different aspects of BDSM?

I wish it helped me more often than I thought because it really does but when you get up close and personal for some reason what you know about psychology just goes out the door. But in general, yes it helps me understand the roles a little bit better. It helped me to kind of understand the inner workings of the community as a whole, not necessarily as helpful up close and personal because as I mentioned typically when you get into a relationship with somebody it’s –there’s so much passion and so much energy going on you don’t really pay attention to those fine details.

Right –so the Gentleman In Charge (GIC) event seems to have become quite popular at Sanctuary. What lead you to creating that?

Actually, this is the brainchild of Mistress Cyan. She brought me in on it in order to start it up and run it. I had been mentoring under her and she thought I’d be a good fit for running it. Of course, then the only thing that we had in mind was creating a male Dom/female sub evening. At that point in time WICK, which is Women In Charge of Kink had been running with some relative success for about a year or so and she wanted to make sure there was a male Dom/femsub side to it as well. So we hit the ground running and took the reigns and its been going ever since.

So how is GIC different form other play parties?

It’s way different than other play parties. It’s specifically male Dominant/female sub, there’re not that many male Dom/femsub specific clubs in southern California so there’s not really much to choose from in that regard. In particular, from the get go our team understand that this meant for male Doms and female subs but we felt it needed to be a safe place for the female subs to come to. Otherwise it’s just any old meat market and we didn’t want that. We wanted to make sure it was a safe place for new people and people who are long term in the scene as a fem sub to be there without fear of having to do whatever any dominant that approaches them says. Which is partly why we utilize the red ribbon system where you can pin on a red ribbon if you’re interested in talking about potential play. It leaves that particular bit of control in the women’s hands, that way they can at least show if they’re interested in talking or if they’re just there to spectate.

Do you think that’s been an issue at other male Dom/femsub play parties in the past- that they can be quite intimidating for the females because its sort of open season for the males to think they can do as they please?

I think there’s a sense that that might be the case. Whether that’s what actually goes on in those clubs or not is dependent highly on the individual clubs. But I think that the intimidation is there and to make it open and make it well known that our interest is to make sure its not that kind of a night, not that kind of a club, I think that’s what’s important.

And it’s billed as a high protocol event. What does that entail?

Well for GIC specifically we bill it as high protocol simply because we make sure the gentlemen are there as gentlemen. We enforce a dress code both for the men and women just to make sure that the evening is more classy or make sure that its seen that way. As far as protocol in general, we really leave that open to the specific dynamic you come in with. Also if you come in with your own lady and you have your own protocol we make room for that. But certainly the feel is there. We want to make sure that gentlemanly Dom is the overall energy of the evening and that lends itself to the specific dynamics.

Great-would you recommend that as an event for people who are brand new to the scene?

Most definitely. Every month we get a ton of new people that are coming in there. Several people will send new people that they learn of and talk to in the scene, specifically because of the kind of night it is. It’s not the meat market type of event, you do have the availability to say whether or not you’re just there to watch or if you actually want to interact or not. The gentlemen that are there on average do act like gentlemen. We do make sure we have both male and female dungeon monitors. That way the females that are there do have somebody they can go to. They don’t feel like its just male run. So its very much well structured for that. Also on the flip side of this, at the beginning of the evening we have our discussions. That ranges from anything from negotiations to dynamics we’ll bring guest speakers and that runs for a good half hour or so at the beginning for education for the entire community. I leave that open as an interactive discussion on purpose because we want to make sure we get everybody there interacting. Its not there to be just somebody up there talking and lecturing. We want to make sure everybody participates including the new people. A lot of new people have questions that they really don’t feel as if they can ask at someplace like a class. That’s the place to do it.

In your 201 class series, you cover some advanced topics. Some of them involve dynamics and psychology of D/s relationships others touching on some areas some people consider to be edge play like needles knives and fire play. How did you come to learn those skills?

I learned directly from my mentor Mistress Cyan. Others were 101 training that were taken throughout the year, some is cross over from things that I’d learned such as martial arts. I’ve been drawing from Boy Scouts, personal exploration. So it’s from there and a lot of it is a mixture of all of thee above.

Do you think that people that enjoy BDSM tend to gravitate towards more edge and advanced play over time or do you think some people are more content to stick to the more conventional play like spanking, floggers and power exchange?

No, I really think a lot of them gravitate more towards the conventional play like flogging and power exchange. Not everybody is into edge and that’s perfectly fine. Everybody has different styles of play. The vast majority is conventional.

Do you ever have people that attend some of the classes and find themselves getting a bit squeamish?

I haven’t come across that yet. Usually I make it pretty well known what is generally going to happen in those classes. For the most I think people know ahead of time what to expect. So I haven’t come across anybody who has become squeamish yet- or at least not that they’ve told me.

And do you know of anybody yourself that has suffered unintended injuries trying out some edgier things? Perhaps not as a result of your class but just in general in the scene?

I haven’t seen too much in the way of it. Now there have been instances in the past that I’ve heard of and you know its kind of like rock climbing, you know that there are dangers that are involved in it. So there is the possibility for potential problems. I haven’t had the experience of having too much of that happening. You usually hear a whole lot about it but in my experience its better to be well prepared for something even if its not going to happen. The possibility of it makes it a necessity to be prepared for it

Do you have any advice for people who are curious about trying out some of those things but they live somewhere where it’s harder to find classes about those topics?

Well, I would go on the online classes, read obviously, there are a lot of books even on edge play. There’s a book called Play Piercing, that’s specifically on needles. Jay Wiseman has written several books on topics including knife play. There’s plenty of literature out there these days that are open and available for it

Your submissive birdy also seems to teach quite a few classes. More of the submissive oriented ones. You two seem to be a pretty good match in terms of you both being quite well known figures now as BDSM educators.

The whole House has been doing quite well with the classes and such, we have the Submissive Training Series that birdy has done. Prior to that we had the Submissive Bootcamp earlier in the year. Starr, my other submissive will be doing the next submissive bootcamp in the coming year. Of course there’s GIC and BDSM 201 but also the SoCal Poly Support Group that birdy runs. We do various conventions and such, we even have LA Next Gen which is run by Mister Gear which is also a member of the house. I have several fingers in several pies.

So that’s your House Ravynblood your talking about? Tell me more about that.

That’s my household. I’m the head of house. Ultimately it’s a group of like-minded thinkers. We’ve gotten together over the last few years or so. We’ve grown to be much larger than I ever expected it would actually be. It started up a little over a year ago, about a year and half at this point. And the first members of course were myself and Mister Gear. Vee came in the mix shortly after that. Ultimately, there’s a protocol guide, a household guide that we all follow and our major creed over the household is “to love, to honor, to respect” and we do try to get out in the community and make sure we’re teaching and putting that energy back into the community that we love.

I’m sure people often ask if you all live together?

It’s not a physical household in that we all live in the same house. It’s a household in that we all are like-minded and connected by the protocol. Together at one point in time or another, they’ve all served under the household. So the household is really what we conglomerate under. So when we put out the SoCal Poly Support Group, when we put out the upcoming Dom Training series all of that is under the household. And we all help each other to make it work.

Within the household, you mentioned you’re the head of the household. Are there other defined roles or statuses that people have?

In general yes. There are other dominants in the house. In fact Mister Gear just gained a dominant status. So in relation to say the structure of it you would come into the house, there is a period of time where you are evaluated. Then at that point in time if we feel that both ends are a match then you are welcomed in the household but at that point you are not given a title at all. You have to undergo what we call standards; standardized sections of information-some of them are discussions, some of them are projects. You do have to finish those in order to update your status in the household. Whether that’s submissive or dominant we also have “compeer” which is kind of a switch type of position. Those are various positions in the house. So really in regards to dominant and submissive, they’re pretty much on the same level across the board it’s simply a matter of dynamic rather than position.

How could somebody join the household if they were interested in that?

Well that’s all in our protocol guidebook which of course you would not have seen but as far as our protocol goes in regards to becoming a part of the household –the house as a whole will look at that and see if we’d like to entertain putting that person through a period of evaluation. Of course as the head of house I have the final say so regardless of what the house votes I am the final say on it. After you’ve been brought in for evaluation-there’s three to six months of evaluation where both the house is kind of evaluating that person as well as giving that person a chance to feel out the house and make sure it’s the right fit in both directions. Because if it’s not something you end up feeling that you want after a six month period of time then it’s probably not for you. It’s probably not something that you would be very invested in and that’s ok.

And have there been people who have either been turned down or have decided not to pursue that?

It hasn’t happened yet. But it might happen; I don’t now what the future holds. Obviously the future held a lot more people in the household than I expected to begin with.

Just generally do you have advice for somebody who’s new to BDSM that wants to be dominant?

Actually, I’ll be starting up a Dominant Training series at the beginning of the year. That spun off of the current BDSM 201 that I’ve got. In general, really it can be online classes, YouTube has plenty of things on there that you can gleam from. Read. I can’t emphasize that enough even if its audio books. There are tons of things on audio right now that are kink and BDSM related. Of course you can start off with the book BDSM 101 its for beginners in general. I highly suggest especially as a dominant to seek outside of that as well. There’s a fantastic book called Nudge. It has nothing to do with the scene what so ever but is on the mental devices that we as humans have that alter our decisions. There’s also another book, Mistakes Were Made But Not By Me and it’s all about deception. And that in itself changed my entire perception on how to discipline myself and discipline in general and kind of utilizing that for discipline and behavior modification for others. And of course there’s also podcasts. There’s the Fearless Submissive podcast, the TED radio hour -you’ll learn about both sides of the slash.

As a dominant you don’t want to limit yourself to just learning about being a dominant. Learn about the submissive side. Understand who it is your working with. What it is that your working with in general? What they’re going to see from their angle. And then think outside the box. Once you know the basics, once you have the basic skills the basic idea of what it is to be a dominant, work outside of that. Draw from what you now. You’ve been in marital arts? Fantastic you can draw from that. I can’t tell you how many things that I have in my protocol that I’ve drawn from my martial arts background. Boy Scouts, I’m an eagle scout, I’ve drawn tons of information from it. Most of the things that are in my household’s standards are drawn from Boy Scouts. You have skills, hobbies, do you know how to boot shine can you learn how to boot shine, can you learn just general skill over all that you can utilize in the scene? There’s tons of information out there that really has nothing to do with the scene in general but can be applied.

It seems like there are quite a few classes around for many of the technical skills involved in being a dominant whether its tying rope or impact but not that many in terms of actually the dominant mindset and your confidence and body language and perhaps inspiring submission in somebody who wants to take on that role. So, do you have advice for how people can get into that mindset a bit more and develop themselves?

Posture and breathing. Posture and breathing are two huge things that can help you get into that mindset. Far to often we slouch throughout the day and by the simple act of straightening your back and bringing your shoulders even has an immense impact. When I first started training Mister Gear for his dominance, that was the first step that we took, to straighten out his posture. Now that doesn’t mean you have to walk around like that all of the time but it changes the way that you look at things, it changes the way that you see things. It changes how you feel about yourself. And that in turn changes how you act and how you act towards others. Now you’d be surprised that by doing that simple little act how much more dominant you feel and again breathing; one thing that I have several in my household working on right now again drawing from martial arts, its called “One Conscious Breath,” and that’s the simple act of drawing in a breath and letting back out and not just breathing but focusing only and solely on nothing else but that breath. It lends such a clarity and peace of mind, it helps to refocus and again those little things, those simple little acts can change how you are change your dominance drastically.

It sounds like you’ve drawn quite a lot from martial arts which you’ve done. Which martial arts have you done and how long have you been doing those for?

The martial arts that I was in, I haven’t done it for a few years now was called Mugei Mumei no Jitsu-which roughly translates to “no art no hand.” And ultimately it was a bit unconventional I’d have to say. I learned quite a different smattering of things. It’s a combination art and really was kind of built from various martial arts so was drawn from ju-jitsu and kenjitsu and several others to kind of a melting pot into a different art all together. But between that and as you mentioned before the psychology background it really changes how you look at things, that how things don’t necessarily need to be exactly what they are presented as….you can do so much more.

Do you think that at some point, BDSM could benefit from having some kind of standardized training progression system particularly for dominants where you can measure progression similar to how you have in martial arts?

I think it could benefit greatly from standardization. Not necessarily that is needs to all be the same. The reason for standards in my household is not because that’s the end all be all of what you need to know. The standards are simply only basic to take care of somebody who might be dropping, how to recognize drop, things that really even basic players should really learn and know. And what that does for me as the head of household, it gives me a peace of mind that any member of my household can be anywhere at any time and I don’t have to be there. I know they know the basics, I know they know what they’re doing in those particular realms. Now that doesn’t mean that they are the best at flogging, that doesn’t mean that they’re the best at anything, that just means they know their basics. They know their basic skills. Now really everybody actually should know how to bandage a wound. Most people don’t even have a first aid kit in their bag.

So what attributes define a great dominant?

I’ve met so many great dominants. I will say a sense of patience and the ability to step away from a situation, to look at it from the big picture. I think that really is a factor that you see across the board. Most great dominants that you see in the scene they have that uncanny ability to step away and not let something rile them up even though by all rights could, to be able to step back and take a look at the big picture and act accordingly to respond rather than react to the situation.

You produce leather products under the RavynBlood Leather brand. How long have you been working leather for?

Well I’ve been working leather for-well my first job at Candy was way back when in 1996 and then I think I was fiddling with leather for a few years before that. So for a long long time. Learned a lot of tricks over the years. But I do currently run Ravynblood Leather. I normally have a booth out at DomCon LA. Occasionally here and there I will have a booth out at Sanctuary Marketplace coming up at the end of November. That’s really the only places that you’ll see it these days. I’ve really shifted focus. I like to keep my leather fun and doing it all the time for a full time business just isn’t fun so I like to do it here and there so that way I can experiment with things, play with it a little bit more and have some fun.

What’s involved for a layman who doesn’t know anything about leather working. What’s involved in turning the materials you source into a product like a collar?

Something like a collar-well you’re talking about straight edging and strap cutting it which basically means you’re cutting out the strip itself from a hide because they haven’t perfected the art of growing cows in squares yet. So they kind of come in wonky shapes. And for those who are in the know of leather, there are certain areas you really want to avoid on a cowhide. That’s something that only a person who’s been working with leather for years would know. You definitely want to bevel those edges, make sure its not scratchy on the skin. You can do any kind of design you want to do on it. If you’re savvy with tools, you can actually tool in it. These days most times you’ll see rings, so now you’ll have to punch holes for those small pieces, rivet off the pieces of leather, rivet up the buckle and finish it up. A little bit more work than a cut in paste (laughs)

(Laughs) And where did the name RavynBlood come from?

I don’t get asked that question too often. Actually that came from my family background. In my family we have quite a bit of native heritage. And the one native heritage that we managed to get the most information about in our tree, actually their primary motive for their tribe plan, was the raven. In that particular group, the raven was the only creature in the universe that was capable of keeping one foot firmly in the mainland, what we see and what we know, and one foot in the other world. It was the only creature able to go back and forth like that. So, I actually have native blood of the raven, hence RavynBlood. Initially that was just for the leather booth, and as things went that name stuck to me and kind of became part of my name over all and hence the household name was spawned under that name.

I hear you’re writing a book? How’s that coming along?

I actually am now writing two books. I’m writing a book in regards to household structure and how to build households. And that’s drawing from my experience as well as drawing from other experiences from other dominants that I personally know in the scene. I’m kind of combining all of those together a little bit to give people a better understanding of how these things come about and how to do it themselves. Parts of that have spun off into the gentleman dominant and there will be a whole other book following up with that.

That’s great, I look forward to when those two come out. Do you have a timeframe for them?

I’m hoping they’ll be out by the end of next year. I’ve got the first rough draft partly done already for the household book. That’ll be the first to come out. Hopefully the following year I’ll have the secondary book-The Gentleman Dom.

Master Gabriel is the Head of Household with House RavynBlood. He produces Gentlemen in Charge and Sanctuary Marketplace at Sanctuary LAX, is the Lead Educator of the BDSM 201 Education Series, and “the voice of DomCon LA.” You can view his Ravynblood Leather goods here.

Tagged With: Classes, Dexx, dominant, dynamic, Journey, leather, Los Angeles, Maledom, master, slave, submission, submissive, teacher, toys

Dexx Interviews Threshold

October 26, 2015 By Desdemona 2 Comments

Threshold Logo

Dexx: You both are board members of Threshold. Could you could tell me a bit of history about Threshold, how long its been around and how it got started?

Boogie: Threshold has been around since approximately 1982. We started as the Society of Janis that came from San Francisco. Then, I believe in 1988 we broke off from the society and changed our name to Threshold. We’ve been serving the community in the Los Angeles area ever since. That was our original history.

There’re a few different dungeons and fetish clubs around LA. What is it about Threshold that sets it apart from some of the other clubs?

Kathy: Threshold is a non-profit organization. Because of that we’re most interested in the education, safety and confidentiality of our members whereas other dungeons – not that there’s anything wrong with it and they certainly serve other portions of the community – they’re privately owned, are maybe professional dungeons where pro-subs and Doms work or they are actual pay dungeons. And as a result they have different goals than we do. Their priorities and goals are different. We are non-profit, we’re run solely by volunteers. We are run by the membership, we have an elected board. And although we do need to maintain a certain financial level, our priority is always going to be the education, the safety and confidentiality of our membership. And there are actually several organizations throughout the world that have similar agendas and goals and here a lot of us are affiliated, so that if I take my card and present if to one of our affiliates in say New Orleans, I can be welcomed as a member to create a family of affiliates. But non-profit educational organizations like us, we have a completely different set of goals than pro dungeons.

So how do you think that changes the experience for somebody that might come to the club as an attendee? Do you think it’s the same going to Threshold versus some of those other clubs or do you think there are some differences?

Boogie: There’s absolutely a difference. What we’ve found is strictly; and everyone here has been to a number of the other dungeons in our community so it’s not like we’ve only been to Threshold, the fact that we’re education based, non-profit, we have rules in place that protect our members. People tend to feel a lot safer here. People who are new tend to gravitate towards Threshold because it’s very well known that we have dungeon monitors and rules in place. You have to have a certain level of etiquette and social awareness to be able to stay in Threshold. So that makes people feel more comfortable playing and being vulnerable here. Once again, we’re not saying that edgier or hardcore or more swinger sexual based dungeons aren’t great, they are, but people tend to feel a lot safer playing here because there’s more of a community, family type of atmosphere here and they feel safer opening up and exploring that part of themselves here.

I gather the club is open to people of a wide variety of different orientations and roles and you have quite a variety of different types of events to reflect that. Are you able to talk about some of the type of events that you guys host there?

Boogie: Absolutely! We’re a pansexual organization and we do our best meet the needs of all orientations, genders, people who choose not to identify with a gender, and we try to have events that are geared towards each segment and community because there’re many communities. I mean there’s the transgender community, rope community, leather, community, gay community, there are many different types. So we really try to meet as many needs as we can and have events for those types of people who want to experience that.

How long have you personally been involved with Threshold either as board members or as members before that?

Kathy: I became a member in 2007. I started chairing here after that time. Threshold is really big on it as I said since Threshold is run by volunteers. Boogie and I both ran for the board for the first time this year. So I’ve been on the board for the past year and before that a member since 2007. I believe Boogie was in 2008.

Boogie: Yea for a little while and then hanging around, (laughs) we are here seven days a week.

Have you guys seen the crowd in terms of the type of people change over the eight years or so since you’ve been going there?

Boogie: Absolutely. We make a lot of jokes about Fifty Shades of Gray but everyone who is in this community understands that that movie opened up conversations in people who would not normally have conversations about kink and BDSM, and that has piqued so much curiosity, so many open conversations and a dialogue in the media that people are now literally flooding to find places where they can explore this type of activity- which of course once they get here they find out it’s ten times better than the movie. Except we don’t have a helicopter.

(laughs)One day, you might have to raise the membership dues a little bit

Boogie: And we’ll throw people off of the helicopter and we’ll call it a fetish.

As long as it’s consensual I’m sure its fine. Has Threshold as a club been through any challenges while you’ve been involved in the leadership?

Boogie: We’re very happy to report that in all the years that Threshold has been here, there has never been an external law enforcement or undercover investigation, or religious organization protest. We’re very well known because we’re non-profit, because we’re education based. Law enforcement has better things to do than go and harass people who are playing consensually and educating themselves. So we’ve actually been very very lucky.

And I understand that some of the members within threshold do some outreach to the local community and law enforcement to help educate them about what you do.

Boogie: Yes, we reach out, we haven’t done a lot of law enforcement outreach in a while but in the past we absolutely have reached out and offered panels, discussions, any questions they may have because we want them to understand what we do so when they go into a situation, an emergency situation, and they see kink and BDSM, that they have an understanding of what they are seeing and it may not necessarily be an automatic rape or assault. But that its just people enjoying being their kinky selves and so we do our best to reach out as much as we can.

That’s great. And you mentioned before that Threshold is affiliated with some other clubs around the country. So as part of that, have you come across other areas of the country where they do face greater challenges from their local communities or law enforcement or local government in terms of doing what they want to do?

Kathy: I personally have heard some. No specific instances but depending on the area of the country that they’re in, certainly if you’re in a very conservative area, some of these clubs will have a much harder time getting their permits or licenses, getting whatever it is that they need but again I cant say specifically. I have heard a few mentions about how difficult it is in other parts of the country. Every country, every city, every state has its own political agenda and so I can’t speak for any of them but I consider us very lucky here in Los Angeles. Places in other parts of the country will have other obstacles.

LA does seem to be pretty kink friendly. I’ve heard that Vegas is not particularly friendly towards kinky activities.

Boogie: Surprisingly, yes. They do a lot of house parties in Vegas but yeah, they really don’t have an open community. They have Sin in the City which is a big kink event, they have events on the strip but as far as a 24/7 dungeon, they really, you’d be surprised. They want people to keep gambling. If you give them spankings they’re not gambling.

Is that what it is (laughs)… sub space beats gamblers high. Now the other thing that I know you guys have been doing is the Perverted Podcast.

Boogie: The worlds greatest BDSM humor podcast of insanity and mayhem.

I’ve had the pleasure of listening to a couple of your episodes. So can you tell me a little about how you guys came up with the idea and what lead you to staring it off?

Boogie: I’ve been in entertainment for decades, comedy, I have a history in major market radio, so of course I’ve always have desired to do a show, to do a podcast and it was just a matter of finding some crazy people that understood the same passion for education like we have at Threshold. That’s pretty much where I got Kathy as our host and originally Phi who of course writes for Kink Weekly. And we got together and said “hey lets do this,” lets put together a fun show that we maybe don’t do guests – a lot of podcasts will have a guest for two hours. And they’ll talk about one topic. Well we’re segment based so we talk about a number of things and each thing gets eight minutes and then we sing horrible songs and put things in peoples’ asses and give spankings on the show. So we try to mix education with fun and bad rap and then out comes a great show that people seem to get really dedicated to.

That’s great. So have you built up a bit of a loyal base of listeners?

Boogie: Our fans seems to be incredibly dedicated. They listen to every show, they secretly listen to it at work because we are not suitable for work. What’s been really exciting in all of the emails, we get a lot of emails from people saying that they just feel like they’re hanging out with us and that they’re having these discussions with us and they’re a part of a more of a hanging out situation and that’s really what our goal was. Not to be an official broadcast that we give the information and you listen and are amazed. But really try to incorporate our listeners and their ideas into the show.

Are there any particular shows that have been highlights that stand out from the ones you’ve done so far?

Boogie: Well we recently just attempted to call Bigfoot. We had some devices to call Bigfoot and we dedicated the show to how exciting it will be once Bigfoot shows up. Of course for whatever reason Bigfoot did not show up.

Kathy: He’s not showing up.

Boogie: He could have shown up.

Kathy: Oh lord. Can I talk about my favorite show?

Boogie: Sure, the anal human maraca?

Kathy: No, poetry show. It wasn’t that popular but that poetry show was awesome and I think we’ll be starting to regret ever having suggested it.

Poetry show?

Boogie: Every few months we do a special poetry show which is all dirty poetry, haiku attack, and the kind of a whole street poet type of vibe to the show because I do a lot of poetry. And so we do that every few months and some people get it and some people don’t get it. Because they’re snobs and they just want Justin Bieber they don’t understand street poetry.

Haiku must be one of the two greatest things to come out of Japan, along with shibari.

Kathy: I love haiku. Haiku attack is my favorite. They’re easy to write, along with Boogie’s jingles. All of Boogies jingles are awesome.

Boogie: We have a lot of jingles

It must be a fair bit of work to produce a show every week then?

Kathy: The amount of work …I’ve started to feel very guilty about. It’s mostly on Boogie’s shoulders. He knows the equipment, he knows what to do. I basically show up.

Boogie: We do probably, 30-50 hours of production and promotion trying new ideas. I mean we’re still a new show so we’re still trying things and each one of those tings takes fivw hours. So we spend a lot of time, we’re really really dedicated and we don’t get paid so obviously we have to love it otherwise we’re just stupid.

Kathy: We got $30 from a patron.

Boogie: We’ve raised $30 and now we can buy Kathy underwear.

You’ll have a helicopter in no time. Boogie, I hear you have a bit of an interesting past before arriving in the fetish scene. Are you able to tell us a little bit about that?

Boogie: I did. One of things I love about having perverted podcast is it validates all of the drugs, abuse, pain, suffering, everything crappy that I did to myself or had done to me is validated when I do the show because I take those experiences from my past and talk openly about them on the show and then it helps somebody in the present.

Is it true that you were a minister at one point?

Boogie: Yes I was. I was a Christian preacher doing Christian comedy. And now I am an atheist activist.

That’s quite a turnaround

Boogie: You know what, if you’re going to do things do them in extremes. I touched both sides of the universe.

And what about you Kathy? How did you come to find your way into the kink scene?

Kathy: Basically I had a very boring past, nothing nearly exciting as Boogie and one year in 2007 I decided I would just started exploring this part of me that’s so huge and I’d never really given any thought to. Putting them in my fantasies and locking them tight in there. To me it was a revelation just to come into Threshold. And to see this family. It had a tremendous impact on my life. Suddenly I wasn’t alone. I was with this community of people who were just like me and they welcomed me and I felt, as corny as it sounds, alive for the first time. I try to give some of that back by volunteering at Threshold and making the same experience for others. And I consider the Perverted Podcast to be an extension of that. It might be more fun and even better we get to reach more people. The amount of fans we’ve gotten to write us and remind us which is something we forget that not everyone is living in a community like we have- the kind of freedom and this openness. I know what its like to live hiding a huge part of yourself so to know that I can have a great time on this show with Boogie and I can help people just feel a small amount of what I first felt when I first joined threshold in 2007. I couldn’t ask for anything better than that.

I think what you’re talking about in terms of people who kind of hide that part of themselves for a large part of their life before eventually having the courage to embrace it is something that I’ve heard from quite a few different people in the scene. Do you think that these days with the “Fifty Shades effect” and the internet, do you think there is an increasing acceptance of kink generally within society and that people are generally starting to become a but more willing to open up about it a bit earlier in their lives?

Kathy: That’s a tough one because its not like we can run our own study on it. I would say my opinion that having such a popular book come out like Fifty Shades of Gray it gives people permission to at least start looking at it. While in the past they would sit behind closed doors on their computer and never tell anybody that this is something they were looking into. So I’ll be honest, a lot of people in the community, we really don’t like that book because it is not representative of who we are but as Boogie said earlier, if it did anything, it brought kink into the mainstream. So I don’t think that it created kinky people I think it made it easy for people to venture out into an area they already wanted to venture out into.

Anything you’d like to close with?

Boogie: My final closing is pretty much one of the things we teach in orientation at Threshold. Whatever you’re personal desire is for yourself, whatever your limit is, whatever your curiosity is, that is the perfect limit for you and it doesn’t have to be for anybody else. We don’t want people to come in and tell you who you have to be. You get to decide who you have to be. if all you want to do is have a little spanking every now and again then that is amazing, please come and explore yourself at Threshold with that. You don’t have to be extreme, you don’t have to do anything scary or edgy and you don’t ever have to do things because somebody else is telling you to do it. Follow your own heart and be your own person

Kathy: I would say I would love to see our fans, the people who are listening to our show, contact us more and have more of a connection with us. We’re having a good time but this is really their show. If they don’t want to listen then we have no show then it’s just me and Boogie sitting alone and talking into a microphone. I would love the community to reach out more and tell us more about what they like what they don’t like what they want to learn about and the more we progress with the show. I’m seeing that more often, its making me happier. We’ve got the Perverted Podcast party coming up, we’ve got all kinds of things coming up. We love reaching out to our fans.

CountBoogie and Kathy are both members of the Threshold board of directors, a non-profit dungeon based in Los Angeles. You can also hear them weekly on their Perverted Podcast.

Tagged With: bdsm, Classes, Event, Journey, Los Angeles

Dexx interviews Master “K”

October 5, 2015 By Desdemona 1 Comment

Kinbaku as modern art. Photography by Michel Helms. Kinbaku by Master "K."
Kinbaku as modern art. Photography by Michel Helms. Kinbaku by Master “K.”

Master “K” is a North American educator, author and authority on the art and history of shibari/kinbaku (Japanese erotic bondage). He began his studies in Japan in the early 1970s and has spent over forty years researching and translating original materials concerning this centuries old art form and is both a student of Yukimura Haruki (under the name Haru Tora) and the direct and named successor to Urato Hiroshi’s school of kinbaku in Japan. He is the author of two books on this subject, the most recent being 2008’s The Beauty of Kinbaku (Revised & Updated Edition, 2015).

For more information or to get a copy of Master “K’s” book, go here.

Dexx: First, I’m curious about when you began studying Shibari in Japan back in the 1970’s. How did you first become interested in it originally and how did you begin your studies?

Master K: I think people who, at an early age, suddenly realize they have an interest in any kind of “fringe” or “counter culture” activity have two reactions/questions. The first is, “Am I doing something wrong? Is there something odd or strange about me or my interest?” The second reaction/question is, “How can I learn more about this to see if it’s right for me?”

Of course, when I say this I’m referring to people of my generation. When I was young, social taboos where more strict, there wasn’t the Internet or even the ability to talk to other people about one’s interests. It was a completely different world. I’m sure that some of the feelings I had when I started on my Kinbaku road wouldn’t be as common today but some of my reactions might still resonate with some of your readers.

Anyway, at the time when I first got interested in Japanese erotic bondage (Kinbaku or Shibari) I was quite a young person. This was in my teenage years and one day I walked into a bookstore in Toronto, Canada. It was sort of a counter culture bookstore and carried all sorts of wonderful things from all over the world. In this shop I saw a book of Kinbaku photographs in their “erotica” section. The pictures were beautiful and, more importantly, it was clear that the models that were tied were enjoying the experience. I suddenly realized that this interest of mine could be an art form and one that could also be done as an expression of love and affection between like-minded people.

And that’s how my interest began.

However, because this was pre Internet, trying to learn about actually doing Kinbaku was almost an impossible task. First of all, unless you happened to be able to go to Japan, there was no one you could learn the art from in North America nor were there any sort of easily obtainable instructional books or videos or that sort of thing. So learning more about Kinbaku was very difficult for me in the beginning.

I proceeded to pick up information in fits and starts until I got lucky in my junior year at college and was able to go to Japan as part of what was then called a “junior year abroad program.”

And that brought me into contact with the first really professional rope people that I got to know. One of them was a fellow student whose girlfriend at the time was one of the models for the many, many Kinbaku “rope” magazines that were then being published. I first began to learn how to tie from him. He was the first person who showed me what real Kinbaku was. Through him I learned it wasn’t about misogyny or pornography, it was about communication through rope and trying to create pleasure in a safe, sane, sensual way for another person. One wouldn’t even really call it BDSM in some ways. Kinbaku was and is its own unique thing. Of course, it can be used as part of a BDSM activity or “scene” but it is its own art form. Anyway, that’s how I started out.

So I gather that you’ve spent a fair bit of time in Japan since that first trip and you’re a student of Yukimara Haruki, the famous shibari master. How did you come to meet him and become a student of his?

Well, I’m actually an official student of two famous rope sensei (teachers). The first is a man named Urato Hiroshi. During the 1970’s through the 1980’s he was the premier movie rigger for the well known BDSM oriented films that a main stream Japanese movie studio called Nikkatsu was making. His work (“Flower and Snake,” “Wife to be Sacrificed,” etc.) has been seen by millions of people. Urato sensei is well into his eighties now and has just published his memoirs with a very prestigious publishing
house in Japan.

Poster for "Flower and Snake" - c. 1970 Nikkatsu Films. Kinbaku by Urato Hiroshi.
Poster for “Flower and Snake” – c. 1970 Nikkatsu Films. Kinbaku by Urato Hiroshi.

My other sensei is the wonderful man you mentioned, Yukimura Haruki. He is generally considered the last of the three great rope masters of the 20th century. This group consisted of himself, Nureki Chimuo and Akechi Denki. I first encountered Yukimura sensei when I was preparing the first edition, the coffee table edition, of my book “The Beauty of Kinbaku” back in 2005. I was introduced to him by my very good friend Osada Steve. At the time it was very difficult to be taught by Yukimura sensei because he was still very active and wasn’t doing a lot of teaching.

You know, for many subjects, teaching as we think of it in the West is a bit alien to the Japanese. They don’t teach “classes” in the same way as we do here. They take on apprentice/students and over time the student watches the master and then he or she copies the demonstrated technique or “steals.” Yukimura sensei had started to “teach” Osada Steve and Steve was gracious enough to invite me to one of his classes, which was quite a mind blowing experience. And then Yukimura sensei was kind enough to accept me as a student. Then I was able to introduce a couple of other people to him.

Yukimura Haruki and model. Photo from the collection of Master "K."
Yukimura Haruki and model. Photo from the collection of Master “K.”

Right, and so you mentioned that they don’t really do classes in the western sense in Japan so was the experience quite different from how we might expect it to be here in America; in terms of learning to tie?

Yes it would be. One of the differences between Japan and America is in the way in which some things, especially certain arts and crafts, are taught. By this I mean not just Kinbaku or karate but everything, from becoming a sushi chef to learning how to make a kimono to practicing martial arts. As I mentioned, many such arts are “taught” through an apprenticeship system where you’re basically watching the master work, learning the right way to do things and stealing as you go along and then adapting things for your own purposes and perhaps adding a little of yourself.

And if the teacher accepts you as a true student and gives you his name, which is a great honor in Japan, then you are following along in the true “way” of this master’s teachings. So the relationship is very much more of a one on one type of thing and you’re never going to be in a class with maybe more than one other student.

As far as Kinbaku is concerned, you are really learning by watching and then repeating what you learn; and that’s important because Kinbaku can be very dangerous.

Most people think they can pick up a piece of rope and in a couple of easy lessons learn how to tie and then maybe in a couple of more lessons learn how to suspend and at the end of six months they’re the big rope guy. Unfortunately, what usually happens is that people who try to do this inevitably run into trouble because they don’t learn ties within the context of safety and body positioning and all of the little details that go into really mastering the subject. Kinbaku really is like Japanese martial arts. There’s what you can see of a tie, which is obvious, and then what you can’t see which can kill you. It’s that lethal karate blow that you deliver so fast it can’t be seen that’s the problem. The same thing is true with rope. You have to learn a lot of simple things before you can learn how to do more ambitious things. And in the west people are used to taking a class with lots of other students, paying their money, learning a little bit and then doing “it.” That’s not the way they do things in Japan.

Shibari has quite a long history in Japan which you touch on in your book. How far back are the earliest origins of Shibari? By the way, I’m using Shibari kind of interchangeably with Kinbaku. I’m not sure if that’s correct?

Yes, you’re being correct. Shibari is actually the older word. Kinbaku was coined in the early 1950s when the explosion in rope and BDSM magazines began in Japan. The publishers of these magazines were looking for a word that would describe erotic rope, that is, rope done with an erotic intention. Shibari is the much older word and means simply “to tie.” And you can tie in all sorts of ways, from being a farmer using rope on livestock to being a policeman making an arrest or tying as a lover. All of it was Shibari.

But as far history is concerned, what we think of as the origin of Shibari is the Japanese martial art of hojojutsu. The earliest records of this art come from around the 1300-1500’s and the feudal era of Japan when the samurai were fighting wars. It was a way of capturing and restraining prisoners or taking prisoners for ransom. That’s the earliest recorded history of the beginnings of Shibari and Kinbaku. Of course, hojojutsu was probably practiced much earlier. We just don’t have as much information written down from an earlier time.

And so rope is clearly growing in popularity now in America, though presumably not nearly as advanced here in the culture as well as the skill level, generally speaking. But when did you first bring your rope skills back and start using them in America?

Well I started teaching about 30 years ago in a very modest way. People started to see what I would do or on occasion a photograph of mine would be published and people would ask to learn more about it. I would then teach maybe one or two students a few rudimentary things. Then with the dawn of the Internet that all accelerated tremendously.

Hojojutsu patterns from the feudal era in Japan, circa 1500 - 1800. Photo from the collection of Master "K."
Hojojutsu patterns from the feudal era in Japan, circa 1500 – 1800. Photo from the collection of Master “K.”

And did you find that there was a much greater element of taboo to what you were doing then compared with now?

Oh yes! It’s very funny. When I was in Japan in 2010 I had the great privilege of watching Nureki Chimuo do a magazine shoot for Sanwa publications. He’s one of the three great 20th century rope masters I mentioned earlier. Anyway, he liked the first edition of my book and sent me a very nice letter and invited me to Japan to meet him. At the shoot we got into a conversation and he was saying that nowadays, even in Japan, in a culture where everything is permissible, it wasn’t nearly as much fun to do his art as when he used to do Kinbaku in a more outlaw way. He and his colleagues would sort of sneak into locations and had to be very, very careful not to arouse the authorities. There was much more of a sense of Shibari/Kinbaku as something very risqué, even in Japan, back then.

You know, America is much more conservative than Japan in some ways but even in Japan back in the 1950-1960’s there was more of a sense of erotic rope being on the fringe. Now it has become much more open, much more common everywhere. I just did two photo shoots with the wonderful fashion photographer Michel Comte which appeared in GQ Italy and in Interview magazine (Germany). And this was real Kinbaku with full nudity. It’s definitely become much more main stream worldwide.

Back in the 70’s how did you find partners to tie in America and did you have any awkward or unusual conversations when you were explaining what you wanted to do?

Of course. That was always the case and I’m sure it’s still the case today. It wasn’t something you’d engage in indiscriminately; where you have your first date and you’d get around to the end of the evening and you’d say, “Hey, I’d really like to tie you up.” This was something you’d only do once you knew someone for awhile and then suggest it in a very general, casual way to see what the response would be. If the response was negative, you’d immediately drop the subject. And if the response was positive or interested, then you’d pursue it. That said, we’re talking about the 1960’s which was a very liberated time. As I think of it, it really wasn’t hard to get partners as long as you did it in an intelligent or gentlemanly way. The problem was finding a good partner. That is, a partner you could care about, work well with and have a connection with. And that remains the essential problem even today.

So what does make for a great rope bottom?

I think one of the most important things is you have to have good mutual communication. A lot of times a rope bottom can be a bit selfish. By this I mean they’re only interested in their own gratification and that’s always difficult for a rope top. If all you want to do is practice your tying that type of partner is fine but it’s very hard to have truly good communication with that sort of bottom. And by communication I don’t just mean that they’re letting you know what they like and don’t like and are staying alert as to what you’re doing and how they’re feeling before they go into subspace, but also that they have an interest in you as a person and an interest in having this rope relationship be something unique and an activity that you both enjoy.

One of the biggest problems when you do rope seriously is when you end up feeling like, as my friend Osada Steve would say, “A pair of hands.” In other words, the rope bottom would be happy if anyone was tying them. They may appreciate your skill, you may be a little bit better or a little bit worse than the next rope top and, of course, they like the fact that you can so something and they’re not hurt. However, you’re really not that important. You’re just the guy or woman with the rope, you see? And that becomes a problem for a serious rope top unless all the top is looking for is something very superficial. On the other hand, if communicating with another person is important to you, be it your skill or sense of romance, adventure, or your sense of tenderness, or whatever it is you want to communicate, that really requires the right partner and it takes time to find the right partner. And if you’re lucky enough to find that illusive, “right” partner, that’s when Kinbaku can become a truly profound and spiritual experience.

I’ve heard Shibari described by some people as an art form, by others a martial art, and still by others as being a sexual act. Which of those three would you consider to be the most accurate?

Depending upon the context, they’re all accurate. As I mentioned, Shibari started out as the martial art of hojojutsu. It became Shibari when hojojutsu was modified to become safe and so became an erotic art. As such, the rope was used to stimulate the erogenous zones of the bound partner in a way that allowed a release of adrenaline, oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins which would let the rope partner go into subspace. Obviously, when that becomes a very intimate experience between two people it becomes a sexual act.

However, what is interesting about Kinbaku is that, depending upon your relationship with your partner; you can either participate fully or only participate partially in the sexual side of Kinbaku. In other words, as a rope top you can give your partner a sexual high without really participating physical yourself. You can do it in a platonic way. Because you’re not doing anything more than applying rope, it is the rope that is having the sexual experience with the rope bottom [laughs]. But if you have a partner that you love or you’re intimate with, then it can become a very powerful sexual experience for the two of you.

And, finally, because Shibari/Kinbaku patterns can be so beautiful to look at, it’s obviously also an art form.

So Kinbaku is actually all of the three things you asked about (martial art, sexual act and art form) depending on the context. So anyone who uses one of those definitions is always partially right.

I believe you tend to favor jute rope over other materials? Is there any particular reason for that?

Personally I’m not a rope snob. There are a lot of people who are. The rope that’s the professional standard for Kinbaku/Shibari is cord that combines jute and hemp. The reason is that this type of rope is incredibly strong, will not stretch and it will adhere to itself a little and thus makes creating the intricate patterns of Shibari easier to do. But you can actually do Kinbaku with any kind of rope. The trick is to know how to do Shibari/Kinbaku safely regardless of what rope you’re using. Knowing where certain pressure points are, where certain nerves are that are dangerous to tie too tightly, what are the best positions for your partner’s body for their maximum pleasure and safety and always knowing what it is you’re attempting to do with your partner (suspensions, floor work, erotic ties, etc., etc.), all of these things can be adversely effected by having the wrong rope but are really all about the rope top’s skill regardless of what type of rope they’re using.

You’ve obviously been teaching classes for some time. You’ve set up the Rope Dojo in LA a little more recently. I guess that’s kind of your dedicated space to do your art? What lead you to that and how’s that experience been, having your own private establishment for that?

Well, the LA Rope Dojo is really something that my student Zetsu wanted to do and did the most work for. I was basically assisting him in setting up and financing the Dojo and helping to create a space where people who are interested in this activity could come together and have social events and rope classes and that kind of thing. This was really his brainchild and I was happy to help him start it off.

As far as what I prefer to do personally, I write on Kinbaku, teach privately and I do commercial jobs involving rope such as the shoot I just finished today with celebrity photographer Michael Helms or the movie I just rigged for called The Neon Demon. That’s going to come out in 2016 and stars Elle Fanning and Keanu Reaves.

I see, so in terms of the private teaching that you do, is that open to anyone who wanted to become a student of yours or are you more selective about who you want to take on as a student?

Obviously, when one takes on a private student there’s a little bit of making sure that whomever you’re dealing with is serious and genuinely interested but, no, my private classes are open to anyone.

I find that teaching one on one is the best way for people to learn. The problem with taking a group rope class and attempting to learn anything but the simplest ties is that with a group of students the instructor, assuming he or she is competent and concerned about safety, can only go as fast as the slowest student in the room.

Also, it’s very hard with a large group to know that people are understanding the key safety issues or the more complex tying techniques you’re teaching. So, one of the reasons I like to teach one on one is that I can look my student in the eye and know that they understand why doing this is safe and why doing that is dangerous or this is pleasurable and that is less pleasurable or why this is beautiful, if they’re looking to do a pretty tie. Having that one on one, personal touch allows me to tailor each class to each student. And if you’re doing something sophisticated, like a suspension, that’s very important. That’s especially true here in the U.S. because doing a suspension on a western body type is much different from doing one on a Japanese body type.

Why is that? Because of anatomy?

Yes, because the Japanese are, generally, much smaller people. The average Japanese rope bottom is 5’4” and under and 120 pounds and under and usually 28 years old and under. In the west you’re usually dealing with an older rope bottom and the older people are the more “dings” they carry with them. By “dings” I mean the more accidents and injuries and illnesses they’ve had. They’re also usually heavier and bigger boned just because of their western body types.

For instance, it’s very different suspending a Japanese sized person and your average American. You have to apply different techniques. And if my school of Kinbaku has anything different to offer it’s how you take classical Kinbaku techniques and apply them to the western body type.

Some of your students have now become quite skilled themselves at Kinbaku and have gone on and are teaching students of their own. Is it quite gratifying to you to have been instrumental in bringing Kinbaku to America and seeing that now spreading in popularity?

Yes and no. Yes because I’m astonished Kinbaku has become so popular so quickly and very gratified that my style of Kinbaku that’s based on communication and safety and creating pleasure seems to be being taught more and more. Of course, not everybody wants that. Some people are interested in other things but I’m happy to see that style of Kinbaku taught. On the other hand, I do feel responsible for my students who now teach and I always hope they’re instructing others in a thoughtful, skilled and sophisticated way.

I’ll tell a story on myself here. As I mentioned, I just did this movie shoot and I was very grateful to have had as my sensei Urato Hiroshi because I used one of his techniques in a suspension scene in the movie where the model was lifted three stories up in the air! It was his technique that allowed me to do this dangerous tie. I was very grateful for what he taught me so I wanted him to know about it.

Anyway, a few years ago, at the age of 80, Urato sensei got his first telephone. So I call from LA and get him on the phone and I start to explain how grateful I am to him and all about the movie suspension. After a few seconds of listening to me he cuts me off and says, “Okay, that’s great. Now tell me what you did to make sure she was safe.” So, like Urato sensei, whenever I see any of my students teaching and I see the pictures from their classes or I get reports back from their classes, I’m always hoping they’re doing a good job. It’s not easy to teach Kinbaku properly. It’s actually a very difficult thing to teach.

You’ve written a couple of books; The Beauty of Kinbaku has been quite successful.

Yes, its success has been a remarkable thing and actually the latest edition of the book just came out a few months ago. For anyone that’s interested, the new release is the revised trade paperback edition which is now available worldwide on Amazon.

It’s a funny thing. The first edition came out as a coffee table book in 2008 and I thought maybe we’d sell 200 copies but to my amazement that hard cover edition sold out and then the book was published in Japan in 2013 under the title A Cultural History of Japanese Kinbaku: The Beauty of Kinbaku and now that’s gone through three printings. And now there’s the English language paperback edition, so I do indeed feel very blessed and grateful.

The first book I did on erotic rope was called The Art of Shibari. It was a very small book with pictures and a short essay which came out back in 2004 when this stuff was just starting to become known in the west. It was done for a European publisher and, again, I couldn’t see who would buy it. To my astonishment, that book sold out in 6 months and now used copies go for $1500. You just never know. In short, it’s an understatement to say that I feel blessed that people have liked the books I’ve written.

That’s fantastic! Kinbaku in terms of being a style of rope bondage, which I suppose is linked to BDSM at least in some way. Do you consider Shibari to be part of the realm of BDSM?

Good question. I think Shibari is a very wide river and has a lot of tributaries. I think it can be and certainly often is a part of the world of BDSM. On the other hand, it can also be its own thing. It doesn’t have to be part of BDSM or any other BDSM activities, such as flogging or any of those other things. And Kinbaku can also be a part of pornography and also a part of a private, loving relationship and also a part of modern advertising and main stream entertainment. As I say, it’s a wide river.

Kinbaku in Interview Magazine (Germany) 2015. Copyright Interview Magazine - 2015. Photography by Michel Comte. Kinbaku by Master "K."
Kinbaku in Interview Magazine (Germany) 2015. Copyright Interview Magazine – 2015.
Photography by Michel Comte. Kinbaku by Master “K.”

There’s a bit of a renaissance going on at the moment with BDSM in general, everything is starting to come out of the shadows and becoming more popular and more accepted. Do you think that’s a good thing?

Sure, I think that any time sexuality can be explored and discussed openly and treated respectfully it’s a positive thing. With Kinbaku at the moment we’re sort of talking about the Fifty Shades of Grey effect. I think that’s very positive. It’s quite similar to the gay movement back in the 70’s and 80’s which has now evolved into a much more accepted part of the cultural landscape. Certainly there are conservative, intolerant pockets in the US. But being gay is much more tolerated, respected, accepted and understood today than it was thirty years ago and that’s only a blessing. And the same thing should be true of BDSM as well. Kinsey says that about 15% of the population has aspects of masochism or sadism as part of their personalities. Of course, it’s all how you use or express it. In other words, it’s how one expresses these personal BDSM oriented impulses and interests in one’s interactions with society that counts. And one nice thing about Kinbaku is that it’s a very good way to scratch that itch in a very positive, loving and giving way if you do it safely and well. It can be very, very meaningful. Of course, that can be true of other BDSM activities.

Any time you’re talking about anything in terms of sexuality, you must never forget that there are good applications, positive applications, and there are negative ones. If it’s a question of misogyny or exploitation or deliberately doing harm, well, those expressions of BDSM are reprehensible. But, if you do things in the right way they can be quite wonderful and give people a great sense of pleasure and belonging.

When I started out many years ago there was no one that I could talk to about this. It seemed impossible that I would ever meet another human being who was as interested in rope or Kinbaku as I was. That was true of the Japanese as well. One of the great Japanese rope masters (Akechi Denki) once wrote that when he finally found, after much searching, a girl who would allow him to tie her, he broke down and cried he was so overwhelmed.

But that’s the difference between then and now. Now you have dozens of BDSM clubs, rope events, etc. to attend. The only negative thing is that when people get into it they sometimes get into it thoughtlessly and, if they’re a rope bottom, they don’t think enough about watching over their own safety and doing a good bit of checking before they go off and do a rope session with someone they don’t know that well. In such an instance the unwary rope bottom will, on occasion, wind up being tied by someone who thinks they know a lot but actually they don’t. And with Kinbaku it should never be forgotten that the more complicated the tie the more danger there is for the sub and the more skill the rope top must have to do the tie safely. As a rope sub, the guy (or woman) you DON’T want to work with is the one who has only done rope for a year and wants to do something to you just because they saw it in a movie!

So, if somebody was interested in Shibari and has never done any and is interested in getting into it-what advice would you have for them? Maybe they’re in a scene like LA with clubs they can go to or maybe they’re not, they’re in a smaller town and don’t have as many options, what would you suggest that they do?

The first thing I would say is go slowly and try to define what you’re interested in. In other words, if you’re interested in looking at bondage pictures on Fetlife, find the ones that are most attractive to you and try to discover why you find those particular pictures attractive and interesting. Then, if you want to learn how to do such ties, try to find a qualified person to learn from; but be cautious and discriminating about who you learn from. Ask around to see who the good teachers are.

By the way, there are some very good “how to” Kinbaku books and videos but they’re in Japanese. So, if you don’t speak Japanese, you have to be able to follow the pictures and to do this well you have to have some rudimentary understanding of Kinbaku to begin with. If that’s case then look at my book or Midori’s book and perhaps find a few other things in English on the net and see if they appeal to and have value for you. However, use your common sense as you explore and don’t take all information you find on the net at face value. There’s a lot of mis-information about Shibari/Kinbaku out there.

This becomes even more of an issue when a beginner tries to learn more complicated ties. Then being taught from books or videos can be rather difficult. If all you want to do is learn how to do a few fairly simple ties then buy Midori’s book or one of the other instructional books you find on Amazon and follow the steps slowly and carefully. But if you’re really ambitious and want to learn authentic Kinbaku, then you have to find someone who actually knows how to do it and, just as importantly, knows how to teach it. Take the time to do that and you won’t regret it.

Tagged With: art, japan, kinbaku, masterk, michael helms, rigger, Rope, shibari

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